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Please keep Chance in your thoughts and prayers (1 Viewer)

beavers said:
Hey BB,

Your story has touched me personally and would like to dedicate my 2014 ride to cure cancer to Chance. Would you mind if I referenced him in my profile? See it here (I tried messaging you the link but your box is full). It's a grass roots bike ride (www.pelotonia.org) here in Columbus that raised over 19 million to cancer research in 2013 alone.
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It would be an honor. Just let me know what you need from me in terms of infomration, pictures, etc. I'm familiar with Pelatonia, and I'm pretty sure we know someone in common. Will try to clear some room in my in-box. Thank you for your dedication to fund cancer research.

 
bigbottom said:
beavers said:
Hey BB,

Your story has touched me personally and would like to dedicate my 2014 ride to cure cancer to Chance. Would you mind if I referenced him in my profile? See it here (I tried messaging you the link but your box is full). It's a grass roots bike ride (www.pelotonia.org) here in Columbus that raised over 19 million to cancer research in 2013 alone.
Click to expand...
It would be an honor. Just let me know what you need from me in terms of infomration, pictures, etc. I'm familiar with Pelatonia, and I'm pretty sure we know someone in common. Will try to clear some room in my in-box. Thank you for your dedication to fund cancer research.
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Thanks, I sent you a PM!

 
Nothing more that I can add other than saying wow. Your journey has been followed by many, and you have touched each and every one.

 
matttyl said:
Nothing more that I can add other than saying wow. Your journey has been followed by many, and you have touched each and every one.
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For a minute I forgot what thread I was in and thought this was a response in the Prostitution thread.

Hope you are hanging in BB... I think about you and Chance almost every time I'm having a quiet moment with my son.

 
That avicii song came on the radio as my wife and I drove home today. She asked me, "why do I know this song".

We both ended up crying......

Your boy lives on every day BB

 
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That's amazing that you guys continue to think about Chance from time to time. As for me, things are still really rough, but I'm hanging in there. I've never done therapy or anything, but I think I may need to. I'm having a difficult time moving on, which is to be expected I guess.

 
bigbottom said:
That's amazing that you guys continue to think about Chance from time to time. As for me, things are still really rough, but I'm hanging in there. I've never done therapy or anything, but I think I may need to. I'm having a difficult time moving on, which is to be expected I guess.
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It's normal to feel the way you do. IMO group therapy with others in the same boat as yourselves will do you good. While it may be helping you with your sharing here, it's a different feel with folks who have experienced loss like yourselves to share and build strength upon together.

God bless.

 
BB - I don't think any reasonable person would expect you to have moved on at this point. I would think it's going to take time and baby steps that you likely don't even notice until you look back at some future point and realize how far you've come.

 
CurlyNight said:
bigbottom said:
That's amazing that you guys continue to think about Chance from time to time. As for me, things are still really rough, but I'm hanging in there. I've never done therapy or anything, but I think I may need to. I'm having a difficult time moving on, which is to be expected I guess.
Click to expand...
It's normal to feel the way you do. IMO group therapy with others in the same boat as yourselves will do you good. While it may be helping you with your sharing here, it's a different feel with folks who have experienced loss like yourselves to share and build strength upon together.

God bless.
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So this. Now, I'm not saying it's the same by any stretch, but the loss of my best friend when I was 20 had a profound effect in many areas of my life. Back then there was precious little available in the way of grief support. Today you actually have options.

You, your wife and your son each have your own very personal perspectives on the loss of Chance, which makes it easy for you all to feel alone in your grief at times. It's a tough row to hoe alone. Therapy/support groups are there for you. T&P, BB...

 
CurlyNight said:
bigbottom said:
That's amazing that you guys continue to think about Chance from time to time. As for me, things are still really rough, but I'm hanging in there. I've never done therapy or anything, but I think I may need to. I'm having a difficult time moving on, which is to be expected I guess.
Click to expand...
It's normal to feel the way you do. IMO group therapy with others in the same boat as yourselves will do you good. While it may be helping you with your sharing here, it's a different feel with folks who have experienced loss like yourselves to share and build strength upon together.

God bless.
Click to expand...
Don't understimate how cathartic having a trained, objective ear listening to and reponding to your grief can be- you'll be surprised at what realizations might come to you, even non-Chance related. Group or solo- I can't recommend it enough.

Drifter said:
BB - I don't think any reasonable person would expect you to have moved on at this point. I would think it's going to take time and baby steps that you likely don't even notice until you look back at some future point and realize how far you've come.
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:goodposting:

Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of grief, per Wiki:

The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:[2]

  1. Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage. Kübler-Ross recommends that family members and health professionals not prolong denial by distorting the truth about the person's condition. In doing so, they prevent the dying person from adjusting to impending death and hinder necessary arrangements, for social supports, for bringing closure, and for making decisions about medical interventions.[3]
  2. Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, and especially those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief.
  3. Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if…"The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time…" People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?" when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it is a matter of life or death.
  4. Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"During the fourth stage, the grieving person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It is natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.
  5. Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.
 
@El Floppo, I agree. Both individual and group have their own benefits. Individual for more personal stuff you may not feel comfortable with in groups. Groups are great because you are meeting like mind people, which you build strength upon each other. It's a very long process that may not have an ending for some. Many become friends in addition to the therapy gained. There are some things where group is basically a must, and this situation is definitely one imo.

 
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beavers said:
Hey BB,

Your story has touched me personally and would like to dedicate my 2014 ride to cure cancer to Chance. Would you mind if I referenced him in my profile? See it here (I tried messaging you the link but your box is full). It's a grass roots bike ride (www.pelotonia.org) here in Columbus that raised over 19 million to cancer research in 2013 alone.
Click to expand...
I have my profile up, if anybody wants to donate, please PM me for the link.

 
beavers said:
beavers said:
Hey BB,

Your story has touched me personally and would like to dedicate my 2014 ride to cure cancer to Chance. Would you mind if I referenced him in my profile? See it here (I tried messaging you the link but your box is full). It's a grass roots bike ride (www.pelotonia.org) here in Columbus that raised over 19 million to cancer research in 2013 alone.
Click to expand...
I have my profile up, if anybody wants to donate, please PM me for the link.
Click to expand...
I'm interested in a link, but lazy with messenging.

 
Notorious T.R.E. said:
beavers said:
beavers said:
Hey BB,

Your story has touched me personally and would like to dedicate my 2014 ride to cure cancer to Chance. Would you mind if I referenced him in my profile? See it here (I tried messaging you the link but your box is full). It's a grass roots bike ride (www.pelotonia.org) here in Columbus that raised over 19 million to cancer research in 2013 alone.
Click to expand...
I have my profile up, if anybody wants to donate, please PM me for the link.
Click to expand...
I'm interested in a link, but lazy with messenging.
Click to expand...
No problem, PM'd you the link...

 
beavers said:
beavers said:
Hey BB,

Your story has touched me personally and would like to dedicate my 2014 ride to cure cancer to Chance. Would you mind if I referenced him in my profile? See it here (I tried messaging you the link but your box is full). It's a grass roots bike ride (www.pelotonia.org) here in Columbus that raised over 19 million to cancer research in 2013 alone.
Click to expand...
I have my profile up, if anybody wants to donate, please PM me for the link.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for riding, and for your efforts in the fight against cancer.

 
I saw that poster in an airport last month. :cry:

I told my kids about Chance.

 
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I dedicated my 100 mile bike ride to Chance yesterday. Here's a shot honoring Chance at the last rest stop (82 miles). http://instagram.com/p/rhtwE7mJ01/?modal=true

I am creating a montage of my experience to share with my daughter (she's 3.5) so I'll send that to you bb if you're interested. Thank you for letting me honor Chance yesterday. No kid should ever have to die from cancer, and no parent should even have to bury their child. I honored others at the first 3 rest stops and saved Chance for last. The last 36 miles were a beast -- rolling hills, and high heat, humidity and every muscle in my leg cramped. With his memory, it helped push me to the end. I've raised $3700+ to end cancer over the last two years and finished yesterday's ride in 6.5 hours. The first 66 miles were finished in 3.5 hours. It took me 3 hours to finish the last 36. Thanks again, bb! And thanks to you and TRE for supporting my ride!

One goal. End cancer!

http://pelotonia.org/

 
I am in tears. We are so honored and privileged to have you ride for Chance. I am seriously at a loss for words. I love you for what you have done, and for your efforts in helping end cancer.

 
beavers said:
I dedicated my 100 mile bike ride to Chance yesterday. Here's a shot honoring Chance at the last rest stop (82 miles). http://instagram.com/p/rhtwE7mJ01/?modal=true

I am creating a montage of my experience to share with my daughter (she's 3.5) so I'll send that to you bb if you're interested. Thank you for letting me honor Chance yesterday. No kid should ever have to die from cancer, and no parent should even have to bury their child. I honored others at the first 3 rest stops and saved Chance for last. The last 36 miles were a beast -- rolling hills, and high heat, humidity and every muscle in my leg cramped. With his memory, it helped push me to the end. I've raised $3700+ to end cancer over the last two years and finished yesterday's ride in 6.5 hours. The first 66 miles were finished in 3.5 hours. It took me 3 hours to finish the last 36. Thanks again, bb! And thanks to you and TRE for supporting my ride!

One goal. End cancer!

http://pelotonia.org/
Click to expand...
I'm sometimes amazed how wonderful certain people are and how they simply make the world a better place.

You, beavers, are one of those people.

 
beavers said:
I dedicated my 100 mile bike ride to Chance yesterday. Here's a shot honoring Chance at the last rest stop (82 miles). http://instagram.com/p/rhtwE7mJ01/?modal=true

I am creating a montage of my experience to share with my daughter (she's 3.5) so I'll send that to you bb if you're interested. Thank you for letting me honor Chance yesterday. No kid should ever have to die from cancer, and no parent should even have to bury their child. I honored others at the first 3 rest stops and saved Chance for last. The last 36 miles were a beast -- rolling hills, and high heat, humidity and every muscle in my leg cramped. With his memory, it helped push me to the end. I've raised $3700+ to end cancer over the last two years and finished yesterday's ride in 6.5 hours. The first 66 miles were finished in 3.5 hours. It took me 3 hours to finish the last 36. Thanks again, bb! And thanks to you and TRE for supporting my ride!

One goal. End cancer!

http://pelotonia.org/
Click to expand...
That's ####### awesome.

 
BB, today I made a donation to a charity you may or may not have heard of, and although they didn't have a way for me to notate it, I did it in Chance's memory.

The charity is Kidd's Kids. (kiddskids.com) No ice buckets needed for this one, folks! Such a great cause. If you're not familiar with Kidd's Kids, it's the charity formed by late radio personality Kidd Kraddick, that takes terminally ill children and their families to Disney world. They ask for donations one day each year, and this year, that day is today.

Listening to some of the stories these parents tell is heart-wrenching, but inspirational at the same time. It's also a reminder of just how trivial most of our problems are each day.

It was my honor to donate in Chance's memory this year.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
BB, today I made a donation to a charity you may or may not have heard of, and although they didn't have a way for me to notate it, I did it in Chance's memory.

The charity is Kidd's Kids. (kiddskids.com) No ice buckets needed for this one, folks! Such a great cause. If you're not familiar with Kidd's Kids, it's the charity formed by late radio personality Kidd Kraddick, that takes terminally ill children and their families to Disney world. They ask for donations one day each year, and this year, that day is today.

Listening to some of the stories these parents tell is heart-wrenching, but inspirational at the same time. It's also a reminder of just how trivial most of our problems are each day.

It was my honor to donate in Chance's memory this year.
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry I missed this when you posted it. Thank you so much for your generosity and thoughtfulness. This sounds like such a great charity. I was able to take Chance and his brother to DisneyWorld in 2010, and that trip is one of my most cherished memories.

 
Mario Kart said:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erin-santos/what-cancer-left-behind_b_5801346.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

Before I decided to fully get into teaching, I was on the path to get into Child Life. Not sure I could have ever handled it though. I mean, I can handle it but not sure if I could "handle" it. On that note, I might look into volunteering since my schedule is a little more stable than it has been the last couple of years. It is a thought.
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Boy does that article hit home.

I can't imagine any job more emotionally taxing than being a Child Life Specialist in the cancer center. But we thank God for the one who worked with our family. She is a saint.

 
One year ago today, our dear Chance became an angel. He has been with me every day since, in my thoughts and in my heart. I see him everywhere, and in everything. The pain of loss is so inextricably intertwined with the joy of remembrance. It seems unfathomable that two seemingly contradictory feelings could coexist in such a deep and fundamental manner. I miss you so much Chance, and I look forward to the day when we are reunited. Until then, I will do my best to live the life that I know you would want me to live, and I will spend every day caring for your loving mother and little brother. I love you Chance.

 
bigbottom said:
One year ago today, our dear Chance became an angel. He has been with me every day since, in my thoughts and in my heart. I see him everywhere, and in everything. The pain of loss is so inextricably intertwined with the joy of remembrance. It seems unfathomable that two seemingly contradictory feelings could coexist in such a deep and fundamental manner. I miss you so much Chance, and I look forward to the day when we are reunited. Until then, I will do my best to live the life that I know you would want me to live, and I will spend every day caring for your loving mother and little brother. I love you Chance.
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:cry: Love and Thoprawishes to you biggie.

 
bigbottom said:
One year ago today, our dear Chance became an angel. He has been with me every day since, in my thoughts and in my heart. I see him everywhere, and in everything. The pain of loss is so inextricably intertwined with the joy of remembrance. It seems unfathomable that two seemingly contradictory feelings could coexist in such a deep and fundamental manner. I miss you so much Chance, and I look forward to the day when we are reunited. Until then, I will do my best to live the life that I know you would want me to live, and I will spend every day caring for your loving mother and little brother. I love you Chance.
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Godspeed Chance

Thoprawishes Biggie

 
bigbottom said:
One year ago today, our dear Chance became an angel. He has been with me every day since, in my thoughts and in my heart. I see him everywhere, and in everything. The pain of loss is so inextricably intertwined with the joy of remembrance. It seems unfathomable that two seemingly contradictory feelings could coexist in such a deep and fundamental manner. I miss you so much Chance, and I look forward to the day when we are reunited. Until then, I will do my best to live the life that I know you would want me to live, and I will spend every day caring for your loving mother and little brother. I love you Chance.
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You're an amazing guy, BB. Thinking of you and your family today.

 
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