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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (1 Viewer)

RokNRole said:
My photos aren't great and don't do me any justice. Several women I've met through dating sites told me I look a lot better in person, almost shockingly better. I've actually considered hiring a photographer for help because I can't take a decent selfie to save my life. I just can't fake a convincing smile.

As for DFW women, I've seen plenty in person that look good but on the dating sites it seems like 80%+ are much too over weight or looking for a Jesus freak. Often both.
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Maybe you can find the time to take some new ones that better suit you...you know, right after you go to buy your vegetables.

 
Back in my single days and before the Craigslist killer, I used to post an ad on CL that always generated a ton of responses. The title was "White Women Need Not Apply". I forget exactly what I wrote inside but the basic gist was that I was tired of all the self-centered white women in this town and wanted to expand my horizons.

That ad was so money and allowed me to nail hot Asian, Latino, Middle Eastern and Black women.

 
Underemployed, unmotivated drug abuser who is hypercritical of the few woman foolish enough to have pity on him seeks woman with whom he can share his wild mood swings until she runs for the hills.  Must have a ###### that emits no odor and her own financial resources.

 
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Ditkaless Wonders said:
Underemployed, unmotivated drug abuser who is hypercritical of the few woman foolish enough to have pity on him seeks woman with who he can share his wild mood swings until she runs for the hills.  Must have a ###### that emits no odor and her own financial resources.
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I was going to type something verbatim, now I need to go back to the drawing board :kicksrock:

 
fantasycurse42 said:
I was going to type something verbatim, now I need to go back to the drawing board :kicksrock:
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Actually I should not have written it.  It was not done out of malice, but out of an attempt to stun him into some self-awareness leading to productive change, but will be seen by him as an attack.  I should, and actually do know better than to have put this out there.  I know by now, for a certainty, that he is not capable of listening to good direct advice, more less responding positively to the critical advice of a harsh mirror.

Good luck Rok.  Maybe this will be the turning point.

 
Who remembers Eminence's dating profile thread? He posted it and it was magical... I think he referred to himself as "the sledge hammer" IIRC.

Endless likes given if anyone can find that thread.

 
Former member of the USMNSRT (United States Men's Nude Segway Racing Team) looking for suitable mate.  Buff, well-hung death metal drummer seeks woman who can handle my lifestyle and package.  I have the body of a linebacker and the mind of a revolutionary - a cross between Che Guevara and Shay McClellin, if you will.  Looking for a woman who can measure both the length of my schvantz and measure and calculate the circumference of my biceps (heretofore, please refer to them as "The Howitzers") and compare the two thoughtfully and with requisite awe.  Ability to whack down a 6-pack a night is a must (that's a 6-pack of tall boys, 12 ounce beers are for Quakers.)  Must at least show the remnants of once being physically fit and demonstrate the ability to douche to my dizzying olfactory standards.  Megadeth, Bolt Thrower, or Pig Destroyer tattoo(s) a big, big plus.  A reliable source of high-quality cocaine will also increase your chances, but I can get that on my own if need be, so don't think that's an automatic in.  My interests include extreme metal, working 30 or fewer hours a week, tripping over my enormous penis, drawing enormous penises, hating society, posting on a message board full of jealous dorks who don't have my physical prowess or peripatetic lifestyle, shouting down the haters that can't handle my awesomeness, and less-extreme metal.  I am an accomplished cook who can prepare anything from a sublime Prosecco nage-poached sea bass to a mean can of Spaghetti-Os with sliced hot dogs.  Menus will be based largely on your skills at giving oral satisfaction. 

 
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Evilgrin 72 said:
Former member of the USMNSRT (United States Men's Nude Segway Racing Team) looking for suitable mate.  Buff, well-hung death metal drummer seeks woman who can handle my lifestyle and package.  I have the body of a linebacker and the mind of a revolutionary - a cross between Che Guevara and Shay McClellin, if you will.  Looking for a woman who can measure both the length of my schvantz and measure and calculate the circumference of my biceps (heretofore, please refer to them as "The Howitzers") and compare the two thoughtfully and with requisite awe.  Ability to whack down a 6-pack a night is a must (that's a 6-pack of tall boys, 12 ounce beers are for Quakers.)  Must at least show the remnants of once being physically fit and demonstrate the ability to douche to my dizzying olfactory standards.  Megadeth, Bolt Thrower, or Pig Destroyer tattoo(s) a big, big plus.  A reliable source of high-quality cocaine will also increase your chances, but I can get that on my own if need be, so don't think that's an automatic in.  My interests include extreme metal, working 30 or fewer hours a week, tripping over my enormous penis, drawing enormous penises, hating society, posting on a message board full of jealous dorks who don't have my physical prowess or peripatetic lifestyle, shouting down the haters that can't handle my awesomeness, and less-extreme metal.  I am an accomplished cook who can prepare anything from a sublime Prosecco nage-poached sea bass to a mean can of Spaghetti-Os with sliced hot dogs.  Menus will be based largely on your skills at giving oral satisfaction. 
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:lmao:

Damn, I wish I had come up with that.

 
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CurlyNight said:
If you do this, make sure the 2 you get are bonded. It can be a nightmare if you try to put 2 together who don't know each other.. You also want the same sex so you don't have to worry about babies, or make sure they are spayed/neutered. I think it's a good idea for people who work to have a pair that like each other. They can keep each other company, play with each other..

Pets are great for people suffering MI. They give unconditional love. That's why there is support dogs not just for vets but for those suffering MI.
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But he's talking about getting cats/kittens.  We're not talking dogs here.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Former member of the USMNSRT (United States Men's Nude Segway Racing Team) looking for suitable mate.  Buff, well-hung death metal drummer seeks woman who can handle my lifestyle and package.  I have the body of a linebacker and the mind of a revolutionary - a cross between Che Guevara and Shay McClellin, if you will.  Looking for a woman who can measure both the length of my schvantz and measure and calculate the circumference of my biceps (heretofore, please refer to them as "The Howitzers") and compare the two thoughtfully and with requisite awe.  Ability to whack down a 6-pack a night is a must (that's a 6-pack of tall boys, 12 ounce beers are for Quakers.)  Must at least show the remnants of once being physically fit and demonstrate the ability to douche to my dizzying olfactory standards.  Megadeth, Bolt Thrower, or Pig Destroyer tattoo(s) a big, big plus.  A reliable source of high-quality cocaine will also increase your chances, but I can get that on my own if need be, so don't think that's an automatic in.  My interests include extreme metal, working 30 or fewer hours a week, tripping over my enormous penis, drawing enormous penises, hating society, posting on a message board full of jealous dorks who don't have my physical prowess or peripatetic lifestyle, shouting down the haters that can't handle my awesomeness, and less-extreme metal.  I am an accomplished cook who can prepare anything from a sublime Prosecco nage-poached sea bass to a mean can of Spaghetti-Os with sliced hot dogs.  Menus will be based largely on your skills at giving oral satisfaction. 
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I want to leave some mystery

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

If you want some actual help with it, let me know, but it sounds like you've got some nibbles already.  Any promising leads?
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A couple. One that isn't too chunky with a cute face and lives in my town. Another with a weird but not ugly face that looks like she has a nice body but her profile talks about Jesus a lot so that may be an issue.

And another I'm starting to think is trying to catfish me or is just dumb as a rock.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Former member of the USMNSRT (United States Men's Nude Segway Racing Team) looking for suitable mate.  Buff, well-hung death metal drummer seeks woman who can handle my lifestyle and package.  I have the body of a linebacker and the mind of a revolutionary - a cross between Che Guevara and Shay McClellin, if you will.  Looking for a woman who can measure both the length of my schvantz and measure and calculate the circumference of my biceps (heretofore, please refer to them as "The Howitzers") and compare the two thoughtfully and with requisite awe.  Ability to whack down a 6-pack a night is a must (that's a 6-pack of tall boys, 12 ounce beers are for Quakers.)  Must at least show the remnants of once being physically fit and demonstrate the ability to douche to my dizzying olfactory standards.  Megadeth, Bolt Thrower, or Pig Destroyer tattoo(s) a big, big plus.  A reliable source of high-quality cocaine will also increase your chances, but I can get that on my own if need be, so don't think that's an automatic in.  My interests include extreme metal, working 30 or fewer hours a week, tripping over my enormous penis, drawing enormous penises, hating society, posting on a message board full of jealous dorks who don't have my physical prowess or peripatetic lifestyle, shouting down the haters that can't handle my awesomeness, and less-extreme metal.  I am an accomplished cook who can prepare anything from a sublime Prosecco nage-poached sea bass to a mean can of Spaghetti-Os with sliced hot dogs.  Menus will be based largely on your skills at giving oral satisfaction. 
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Pure genius!!!!

 
RokNRole said:
A couple. One that isn't too chunky with a cute face and lives in my town. Another with a weird but not ugly face that looks like she has a nice body but her profile talks about Jesus a lot so that may be an issue.

And another I'm starting to think is trying to catfish me or is just dumb as a rock.
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Go with #1.  Anyone who mentions Jesus even once in her profile is a nightmare waiting to happen.  Dumb as a rock isn't going to fly with you either if you're actually looking for a relationship rather than just a booty call.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Go with #1.  Anyone who mentions Jesus even once in her profile is a nightmare waiting to happen.  Dumb as a rock isn't going to fly with you either if you're actually looking for a relationship rather than just a booty call.
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She didn't mention Jesus actually. Just god and the Bible but she appears to be a  rocker chick which is weird.

ill play it by ear

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Former member of the USMNSRT (United States Men's Nude Segway Racing Team) looking for suitable mate.  Buff, well-hung death metal drummer seeks woman who can handle my lifestyle and package.  I have the body of a linebacker and the mind of a revolutionary - a cross between Che Guevara and Shay McClellin, if you will.  Looking for a woman who can measure both the length of my schvantz and measure and calculate the circumference of my biceps (heretofore, please refer to them as "The Howitzers") and compare the two thoughtfully and with requisite awe.  Ability to whack down a 6-pack a night is a must (that's a 6-pack of tall boys, 12 ounce beers are for Quakers.)  Must at least show the remnants of once being physically fit and demonstrate the ability to douche to my dizzying olfactory standards.  Megadeth, Bolt Thrower, or Pig Destroyer tattoo(s) a big, big plus.  A reliable source of high-quality cocaine will also increase your chances, but I can get that on my own if need be, so don't think that's an automatic in.  My interests include extreme metal, working 30 or fewer hours a week, tripping over my enormous penis, drawing enormous penises, hating society, posting on a message board full of jealous dorks who don't have my physical prowess or peripatetic lifestyle, shouting down the haters that can't handle my awesomeness, and less-extreme metal.  I am an accomplished cook who can prepare anything from a sublime Prosecco nage-poached sea bass to a mean can of Spaghetti-Os with sliced hot dogs.  Menus will be based largely on your skills at giving oral satisfaction. 
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He's built like a Strong Safety! I really thought you had been listening and that you cared!

 
Who is going to call her? I'll PM the number she left.

Someone has to. My wife gave me the veto as I had to explain what I was doing since I was giggling like a schoolgirl.

 
fantasycurse42 said:
Who is going to call her? I'll PM the number she left.

Someone has to. My wife gave me the veto as I had to explain what I was doing since I was giggling like a schoolgirl.
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No way am I trying to explain that to my wife...one of you single guys needs to step up here.  Do it Rok!  What do you have to lose?

 
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