Soooo, this was what I did this past Saturday (1 Viewer)

[Deranged Hermit]

I share coaching duties with another guy for my son's Fall Ball team. Generally I'm not there on Saturdays due to work, but I was 'lucky' enough to there this past weekend to see this.

First, a little back story: We have a kid on our team that I've coached a few times over the years. Very poor family, but very nice kid. We would cover whatever fees he couldn't, give him unused equipment, whatever. I ran into him at WaWa a few months ago and asked if he was going to play Fall Ball this year and he said he would like to, but had to work (kid is only 14, so I thought it was to help out at home). I told him that I would cover the $50 and he could play when he could.

He was able to make most of the practices, but probably half the games. No biggie, this is mostly an instructional league so we could easily cover the days he couldn't be there. Well, this past Saturday was a day he couldn't be there.

We were in the second inning when a girl in full-on white trash mode storms on the field and starts yelling for 'Joe'. Myself and the other coach come out and tells her he's not here but, even if he were here, this isn't the time or place to do this. She accuses us on lying. I say, 'look in the dugout, do you see him'? She than starts on a rant on how he owes her money for 'their baby' and 'she ain't leaving without it'. Almost on cue, white-trash mom comes out with the baby (who's wearing baby Jordans, but that's none of my business). Apparently Joe, who just turned 14, is a not-so-proud papa.

I tell the ladies that they need to leave NOW and they are not welcome back. They go on a rant about how this is a public park, they don't have to leave, etc and the girl plops her fat ### on the pitcher's mound. I repeat that they are to leave now or I'm calling the police to have them removed. One on the dads from the other team chimed in and said 'that won't be necessary, I'm a city cop and flashes his badge' (all the while I'm thinking, 'where the hell were you ten minutes ago'). He pulls them to the side and takes their info and promises he will pass whatever info off to 'Joe'. They leave, game goes on.

I call 'Joe' right after the game and relay what happened. He comes clean and tells me the situation. He's working to pay for the baby, but they are always asking for more $$$ and he doesn't know what to do. I told him to only pay for whatever the court tells him to and not a penny more, but I'm not sure what other advice to give. He's a 14 year old kid who made a big mistake, but he doesn't deserve to be taken advantage of. He doesn't have money for a lawyer and his parents don't have a pot to piss in, so they can't help either.

So, tl:dr version: 14 year old knocks up a crazy girl, is getting extorted and I feel bad because I don't know what advice to give him. Anyone have any thoughts on how I can help besides making the crazy chick 'disappear' (that's way too pot committed for me).

 

[fantasycurse42]

How old is the girl? If he knocked her up and she is a certain amount of years older than him (or over 18), wouldn't that make her a criminal?

Just curious what state this takes place in?

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Sleep with...nevermind, Joe's got that covered

 

[Deranged Hermit]

It's Delaware.

Not sure how old she is, but my guess is that she's roughly the same age. My son said he's seen her at school functions in the past but she moved to a different school last year. Guess I know why now.

 

[skol asylum]

Tell Eminence to stop spending so much time on a message board, youtube, and gambling and to pick up some extra shifts at Walgreens.

 

[cstu]

He's a 14 year old kid who made a big mistake

I dislike baseball as much as anybody but it's not that big of a deal.

 

[shady inc]

i can't read the whole post without getting distracted by seeing peter's tongue flickering out of the corner of my eye

 

[Cjw_55106]

extorted? How much money do you think Lil Joe is pulling in? Every cent he makes at this point should be for the kid.

 

[NutterButter]

I feel like I'm just missing out on life where I live. 14 year olds with kids and pitbulls killing left and right and I'm missing it all.

 

[Deranged Hermit]

extorted? How much money do you think Lil Joe is pulling in? Every cent he makes at this point should be for the kid.

It is. They want more. According to 'Joe's' parents, his check is pretty much signed and turned over to the girl every other Friday.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Shovelly Joe

 

[McGarnicle]

Just like me at 14. Baby mama was a 10 though, not fat.

 

[Deranged Hermit]

I feel like I'm just missing out on life where I live. 14 year olds with kids and pitbulls killing left and right and I'm missing it all.

At least it was a good teaching moment for my son. '#####es be crazy' is a good lesson to learn so early in life.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Just like me at 14. Baby mama was 10 though, not fat.

WTF

 

[IvanKaramazov]

I feel like I'm just missing out on life where I live. 14 year olds with kids and pitbulls killing left and right and I'm missing it all.

At least it was a good teaching moment for my son. '#####es be crazy' is a good lesson to learn so early in life.

Yep. Similar experience here. One of my son's not-too-bright friends managed to get his girlfriend knocked up (they're both 16). My son is starting to get excited about college etc., so I made a special point to impress upon him the importance of not making stupid, life-altering mistakes. Sucks that it happened to one of his buddies, but at least that makes this visual and tangible and not just some remote hypothetical.

 

[McGarnicle]

Just like me at 14. Baby mama was 10 though, not fat.

WTF

******* Thought I made that typo for a second.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

 

[Cjw_55106]

extorted? How much money do you think Lil Joe is pulling in? Every cent he makes at this point should be for the kid.

It is. They want more. According to 'Joe's' parents, his check is pretty much signed and turned over to the girl every other Friday.

I'll bow out I guess. I just cant see how Joe is a victim here. He makes what he makes. They cant "want" with all their hearts. It doesnt change anything.

 

[avoiding injuries]

I am having trouble feeling sorry for Joe. Instructional fall ball may need to be put on hold for the time being.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Can we be honest here?

I feel bad saying it, but this baby has zero chance at amounting to anything. Joe sounds doomed too - might just be best to accept it, move along and maybe provide guidance to those who still have a chance.

 

[Deranged Hermit]

I feel like I'm just missing out on life where I live. 14 year olds with kids and pitbulls killing left and right and I'm missing it all.

At least it was a good teaching moment for my son. '#####es be crazy' is a good lesson to learn so early in life.

Yep. Similar experience here. One of my son's not-too-bright friends managed to get his girlfriend knocked up (they're both 16). My son is starting to get excited about college etc., so I made a special point to impress upon him the importance of not making stupid, life-altering mistakes. Sucks that it happened to one of his buddies, but at least that makes this visual and tangible and not just some remote hypothetical.

It's a good time too for my son to learn this lesson. He started 'hanging out with' a team mate's sister recently. Great girl, I've known the family since I coached her in t-ball. I take them to the mall, the movies, dinner, places that they aren't alone. Still though, I can't watch them all the time so it's nice to have the recent debacle fresh in his mind.

 

[Zow]

Refer him to your area's version of community legal services/legal aid.

 

[Brony]

As long as the mom didn't complain about the umps - those parents are the worst.

 

[Fat Nick]

extorted? How much money do you think Lil Joe is pulling in? Every cent he makes at this point should be for the kid.

It is. They want more. According to 'Joe's' parents, his check is pretty much signed and turned over to the girl every other Friday.

Almost on cue, white-trash mom comes out with the baby (who's wearing baby Jordans, but that's none of my business).

...Gee....I wonder why they need the money so badly? I bet baby momma has a newer iPhone than I do too.

 

[NCCommish]

I would hope that instead of praying for abstinence the parents here are teaching junior to wrap it up and teaching their daughters that if they decide to be active that a condom has to be used. And maybe even make sure they are available.

I was sexually active at a very young age. But I had already been schooled on how to prevent babies. No little NCCs running around as a result.

 

[Fat Nick]

extorted? How much money do you think Lil Joe is pulling in? Every cent he makes at this point should be for the kid.

It is. They want more. According to 'Joe's' parents, his check is pretty much signed and turned over to the girl every other Friday.

I'll bow out I guess. I just cant see how Joe is a victim here. He makes what he makes. They cant "want" with all their hearts. It doesnt change anything.

I agree - You can't have a baby with a guy with little/no income and suddenly expect him to pay you thousands of dollars. You chose that "tree" to shake knowing it didn't have much cash. If she wanted money, she should've gotten knocked up by a kid who was on his way to the majors...

 

[Chadstroma]

14. My goodness. What were the things I was worried about at 14? Having a few extra bucks to get the new Avengers or X-Men comic or debating which rookie card was worth more- Jose Canseco or Mark McGwire.... geesh.

 

[Fat Nick]

I would hope that instead of praying for abstinence the parents here are teaching junior to wrap it up and teaching their daughters that if they decide to be active that a condom has to be used. And maybe even make sure they are available.

I was sexually active at a very young age. But I had already been schooled on how to prevent babies. No little NCCs running around as a result.

Ditto. My Dad put the fear of god in me, and made it very clear that if I had a kid, my life would essentially be over. I think the issue is when the kid who's getting that lecture isn't smart enough to really grasp the implications.

 

[lombardi]

I don't know man, I think maybe you need to adjust your perspective a little bit.

Your story is all "poor Joe" and the the girl is crazy, white trash, baby-momma. Joes was man enough to get a girl pregnant, now it's time to be man enough to take care of his responsibilities. It really is a sad situation and honestly I think it's terribly sad for both of them but it seems like you've already taken sides. Perhaps this young single mother who has to sit up all night with a baby, take care of it when it's sick, change all the diapers, buys all the food an clothes has a bit more hardship than Joe who has to pull a couple of Waffle house shifts to slide her some money when he can. Maybe he shouldnt' have time to play ball.

Probably too many people in both their lives calling the other one crazy when what they really need is some kind of reconciliation (as parents, not as a couple) considering they're now connected for the rest of their lives through this poor child. Someone needs to step in and tell them they've both made a mistake but now for the good of their kid they're going to have to make nice and find a way to work as a team to care for this kid for the next two decades.

 

[Chadstroma]

I would hope that instead of praying for abstinence the parents here are teaching junior to wrap it up and teaching their daughters that if they decide to be active that a condom has to be used. And maybe even make sure they are available.

I was sexually active at a very young age. But I had already been schooled on how to prevent babies. No little NCCs running around as a result.

Ditto. My Dad put the fear of god in me, and made it very clear that if I had a kid, my life would essentially be over. I think the issue is when the kid who's getting that lecture isn't smart enough to really grasp the implications.

Around that age my grandfather came to a baseball game of mine. Not unusual but not overly common either. Then it was decided for me that he would take me home. It was all just a little unusual so I sort of sensed something was up but had no clue.

My pappa (what I called my grandfather) said that we were going to make a stop at the store. Walks in and asks some lady where the spermicide was. (No clue what that was- I thought it was some sort of medicine he needed) after he was done flirting with the lady we walk down an aisle and he hands me a box of condoms. Then hands me money and tells me that I have to pay for them. But there really was no saying no to my pappa so I bit the bullet and went to the counter. The person was mercifully nice, quick and put it in a bag for me without laughing....well, at least until I was gone. I am sure my face was worth a giggle or two.

We go to some park and he had 'the talk' with me. Told me to always have one and don't worry about buying more.

Went to school and showed off my condom in my wallet.

 

[McGarnicle]

Can we be honest here?

I feel bad saying it, but this baby has zero chance at amounting to anything. Joe sounds doomed too - might just be best to accept it, move along and maybe provide guidance to those who still have a chance.

Yes, no one from a disadvantaged background has ever gone anywhere but prison or the unemployment line.

 

[McGarnicle]

14. My goodness. What were the things I was worried about at 14? Having a few extra bucks to get the new Avengers or X-Men comic or debating which rookie card was worth more- Jose Canseco or Mark McGwire.... geesh.

Be grateful.

 

[Deranged Hermit]

I don't know man, I think maybe you need to adjust your perspective a little bit.

Your story is all "poor Joe" and the the girl is crazy, white trash, baby-momma. Joes was man enough to get a girl pregnant, now it's time to be man enough to take care of his responsibilities. It really is a sad situation and honestly I think it's terribly sad for both of them but it seems like you've already taken sides. Perhaps this young single mother who has to sit up all night with a baby, take care of it when it's sick, change all the diapers, buys all the food an clothes has a bit more hardship than Joe who has to pull a couple of Waffle house shifts to slide her some money when he can. Maybe he shouldnt' have time to play ball.

Probably too many people in both their lives calling the other one crazy when what they really need is some kind of reconciliation (as parents, not as a couple) considering they're now connected for the rest of their lives through this poor child. Someone needs to step in and tell them they've both made a mistake but now for the good of their kid they're going to have to make nice and find a way to work as a team to care for this kid for the next two decades.

I dunno, walking on to a baseball field while a game is going on, screaming at the top of your lungs for a person is obviously not there (dugouts are open and he's the only black kid on the team) and plopping down on the pitcher's mound seems pretty crazy.

But, yes, I do not have her side of the story so perhaps I did side with the story I heard the most of.

 

[McGarnicle]

I would hope that instead of praying for abstinence the parents here are teaching junior to wrap it up and teaching their daughters that if they decide to be active that a condom has to be used. And maybe even make sure they are available.

I was sexually active at a very young age. But I had already been schooled on how to prevent babies. No little NCCs running around as a result.

You were pretty advanced if you were as young as 14 and had enough of a grasp on consequences of actions to bother with condoms. Most kids that age have that invincibility thing, and assume nothing bad will happen.

 

[Zow]

Can we be honest here?

I feel bad saying it, but this baby has zero chance at amounting to anything. Joe sounds doomed too - might just be best to accept it, move along and maybe provide guidance to those who still have a chance.

Honestly, this is a pretty myopic and douchey take on the situation.

 

[Zow]

I don't know man, I think maybe you need to adjust your perspective a little bit.

Your story is all "poor Joe" and the the girl is crazy, white trash, baby-momma. Joes was man enough to get a girl pregnant, now it's time to be man enough to take care of his responsibilities. It really is a sad situation and honestly I think it's terribly sad for both of them but it seems like you've already taken sides. Perhaps this young single mother who has to sit up all night with a baby, take care of it when it's sick, change all the diapers, buys all the food an clothes has a bit more hardship than Joe who has to pull a couple of Waffle house shifts to slide her some money when he can. Maybe he shouldnt' have time to play ball.

Probably too many people in both their lives calling the other one crazy when what they really need is some kind of reconciliation (as parents, not as a couple) considering they're now connected for the rest of their lives through this poor child. Someone needs to step in and tell them they've both made a mistake but now for the good of their kid they're going to have to make nice and find a way to work as a team to care for this kid for the next two decades.

I dunno, walking on to a baseball field while a game is going on, screaming at the top of your lungs for a person is obviously not there (dugouts are open and he's the only black kid on the team) and plopping down on the pitcher's mound seems pretty crazy.

But, yes, I do not have her side of the story so perhaps I did side with the story I heard the most of.

As always, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. 14 year old kid is, undoubtedly, overwhelmed and not doing his part. He's probably trying to avoid them because he's overwhelmed and just wants to bury his head in the sand. 14 year old mother, and her mother, are angry and overreacting about it. They're staying up at night with the baby and thinking he should pay with cash and, possibly, flesh. They have completely unrealistic expectations in that they're probably demanding way more money than he can make and they are probably holding the baby as ransom - no pay, no visitation.

Again, this kid needs to get some actual legal assistance. Try referring him to legal aid or something.

 

[urbanhack]

good for you for trying to help him out.

 

[NCCommish]

I would hope that instead of praying for abstinence the parents here are teaching junior to wrap it up and teaching their daughters that if they decide to be active that a condom has to be used. And maybe even make sure they are available.

I was sexually active at a very young age. But I had already been schooled on how to prevent babies. No little NCCs running around as a result.

You were pretty advanced if you were as young as 14 and had enough of a grasp on consequences of actions to bother with condoms. Most kids that age have that invincibility thing, and assume nothing bad will happen.

I was younger than 14 when I first had intercourse. I was always a fairly mature kid though.

 

[Van Dyman]

Too late now but, out of curiosity, can a 14-year old girl get an abortion in Delaware, or anywhere? Would it require parent's approval? I can't help but think how vastly different this story would have ended for two children who made a common mistake.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Hey, Joe. where you goin' with that gun in your hand?

 

[Deranged Hermit]

Too late now but, out of curiosity, can a 14-year old girl get an abortion in Delaware, or anywhere? Would it require parent's approval? I can't help but think how vastly different this story would have ended for two children who made a common mistake.

I'm 99% sure that you can get an abortion without parental approval in DE. I know that my son's school has a health clinic that kids can go to without fear of their parents knowing. He had to sign a paper saying it was ok for the school to share medical info with us if he ever used it so that tells me the privacy laws still apply to even a minor.

 

[[icon]]

extorted? How much money do you think Lil Joe is pulling in? Every cent he makes at this point should be for the kid.

Not if WTG (white trash girl) is spending it on Baby Jordans... hell no it shouldn't be.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Hey, Joe. where you goin' with that gun in your hand?

Bet he wishes he'd have kept his gun in his hand.

 

[James Daulton]

So he was most assuredly 13 when he got her pregnant. I was lucky to get to hold a chick's hand when I was 13.

 

[Peyton Marino]

has he considered asking for a paternity test?

 

[Deranged Hermit]

has he considered asking for a paternity test?

Yeah, his parents demanded it as soon as the kid was born. It's his for sure.

 

[Peyton Marino]

has he considered asking for a paternity test?

Yeah, his parents demanded it as soon as the kid was born. It's his for sure.

damn. he got got.

 

[Quez]

This is the most exciting baseball game I have ever heard of.

 

[Cjw_55106]

Too late now but, out of curiosity, can a 14-year old girl get an abortion in Delaware, or anywhere? Would it require parent's approval? I can't help but think how vastly different this story would have ended for two children who made a common mistake.

Im sure kids can still be given up for adoption.

 

[avoiding injuries]

Too late now but, out of curiosity, can a 14-year old girl get an abortion in Delaware, or anywhere? Would it require parent's approval? I can't help but think how vastly different this story would have ended for two children who made a common mistake.

Im sure kids can still be given up for adoption.

I'm very much pro choice, but now that the baby has been born and is alive, it feels uncomfortable talking about eliminating its life to make the lives of the parents more convenient.