Sports culture question (1 Viewer)

[Jayrod]

So, why do we allow people to treat sports officials like we do?

In what other profession do complete strangers with no qualifications to perform the job feel justified in yelling insults while the person is actively trying to do their job? The more I think about it the more bizarre the whole thing is. And its not even that important of a job. In the grand scheme of life, officials are like ten thousandth on the list of important jobs, just simply trying to enforce the rules of a game.

In case you can't already tell, I officiate HS football and basketball. The entire culture of HS sports is starting to really annoy me. I've been doing this for 5 years and the more I hear the more I want to grab a mike stand on top of the scorers table and just ask everyone what the heck they think they are doing. The fan comments range from mildly amusing to completely asinine. I've seen otherwise normal, level-headed adults scream at officials like they are committing crimes. All while the refs are trying to perform a task that is extremely difficult and complex.

And I don't know how to fix it. Sports seem to have taken a position of importance in our society that far outweighs its actual importance. People see the way refs are treated on TV and it filters down. They become villains when they do a poor job or simply make a bad judgement call. It is way over the top and frustrating. There is a shortage among officials at the school level in my area and, at least for basketball, it isn't about the money. I probably average about $20-$25 an hour working as a ref, but I have talked to a number of friends about reffing and they all say the same thing, "you couldn't pay me enough to do that job".

 

[zamboni]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Surprised refs can have rabbit ears, what with their heads so far up their ... wait, I like Jayrod.

 

[Jayrod]

Surprised refs can have rabbit ears, what with their heads so far up their ... wait, I like Jayrod.

And man do I have rabbit ears sometimes. I freaking hear everything out on the basketball court. Football not so much, but I can't turn it off in basketball.

 

[urbanhack]

TRUMP

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Surprised refs can have rabbit ears, what with their heads so far up their ... wait, I like Jayrod.

And man do I have rabbit ears sometimes. I freaking hear everything out on the basketball court. Football not so much, but I can't turn it off in basketball.

You are doing a job few would have the acumen and the self-control to do well. Dismiss the load and profane opinions as coming from bellicose buffoons.

Look at me, rocking the alliteration.

 

[Jayrod]

TRUMP

good point

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

 

[Bull Dozier]

So, why do we allow people to treat sports officials like we do?

In what other profession do complete strangers with no qualifications to perform the job feel justified in yelling insults while the person is actively trying to do their job? The more I think about it the more bizarre the whole thing is. And its not even that important of a job. In the grand scheme of life, officials are like ten thousandth on the list of important jobs, just simply trying to enforce the rules of a game.

In case you can't already tell, I officiate HS football and basketball. The entire culture of HS sports is starting to really annoy me. I've been doing this for 5 years and the more I hear the more I want to grab a mike stand on top of the scorers table and just ask everyone what the heck they think they are doing. The fan comments range from mildly amusing to completely asinine. I've seen otherwise normal, level-headed adults scream at officials like they are committing crimes. All while the refs are trying to perform a task that is extremely difficult and complex.

And I don't know how to fix it. Sports seem to have taken a position of importance in our society that far outweighs its actual importance. People see the way refs are treated on TV and it filters down. They become villains when they do a poor job or simply make a bad judgement call. It is way over the top and frustrating. There is a shortage among officials at the school level in my area and, at least for basketball, it isn't about the money. I probably average about $20-$25 an hour working as a ref, but I have talked to a number of friends about reffing and they all say the same thing, "you couldn't pay me enough to do that job".

I hate the way parents treat officials. I run our traveling basketball association (this was my first...and likely last year doing it). At the beginning of the season I had all the parents in the room together and made it clear everyone has a job and a role. Players play, coaches coach, referees ref, and parents cheer. That's it, I expect everyone to stick to their roles, and made it clear that parents trying to refs game make not only themselves look bad, but the entire program. It cut down some of the talk, but some people just don't get it.

You couldn't pay me enough to ref games.

When my step daughter played volleyball, I found it refreshing how little there was talk about the reffing. Coaches rarely overreacted to calls, and most of the interaction was polite questions, etc. I greatly enjoyed that dynamic. It was interesting when there would be the rare coach that would strenuously object, the parents seemed to follow suit right away and would join in.

I'd love to see high school basekball coaches get T'd up a lot more.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

My opinion would be to the contrary.

 

[Limp Ditka]

There's power in numbers

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

My opinion would be to the contrary.

You believe he specifically targeted the linesman? For what reason?

We'll never know obviously but I just can't see why he would do that.

 

[zamboni]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

My opinion would be to the contrary.

You believe he specifically targeted the linesman? For what reason?

We'll never know obviously but I just can't see why he would do that.

The evidence is pretty damning the way he stuck his stick out. Even if it was a player and not a linesman, the NHL certainly didn't like the stick move. No one but Wideman knows if he was truly dazed and that's why he did it. but the one thing going for him is that he's been in the league a long time and never known as that kind of player.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So, why do we allow people to treat sports officials like we do?

In what other profession do complete strangers with no qualifications to perform the job feel justified in yelling insults while the person is actively trying to do their job? The more I think about it the more bizarre the whole thing is. And its not even that important of a job. In the grand scheme of life, officials are like ten thousandth on the list of important jobs, just simply trying to enforce the rules of a game.

In case you can't already tell, I officiate HS football and basketball. The entire culture of HS sports is starting to really annoy me. I've been doing this for 5 years and the more I hear the more I want to grab a mike stand on top of the scorers table and just ask everyone what the heck they think they are doing. The fan comments range from mildly amusing to completely asinine. I've seen otherwise normal, level-headed adults scream at officials like they are committing crimes. All while the refs are trying to perform a task that is extremely difficult and complex.

And I don't know how to fix it. Sports seem to have taken a position of importance in our society that far outweighs its actual importance. People see the way refs are treated on TV and it filters down. They become villains when they do a poor job or simply make a bad judgement call. It is way over the top and frustrating. There is a shortage among officials at the school level in my area and, at least for basketball, it isn't about the money. I probably average about $20-$25 an hour working as a ref, but I have talked to a number of friends about reffing and they all say the same thing, "you couldn't pay me enough to do that job".

YOU SUCK

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

My opinion would be to the contrary.

You believe he specifically targeted the linesman? For what reason?

We'll never know obviously but I just can't see why he would do that.

Irrationally mad about a perceived non-call.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

My opinion would be to the contrary.

You believe he specifically targeted the linesman? For what reason?

We'll never know obviously but I just can't see why he would do that.

Irrationally mad about a perceived non-call.

Linesman cannot make that call.

 

[snogger]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

My opinion would be to the contrary.

. that wasn't just a "Push".. he brings his stick up and shoves it into the back of the Ref.. Claiming he thought it was a player or not doesn't dispute the fact he not only intentional did it.. But showed no remorse at all as he sat on the bench and gave the old

 

[Limp Ditka]

Where's Pick when you need him?

 

[glvsav37]

So, why do we allow people to treat sports officials like we do?

In what other profession do complete strangers with no qualifications to perform the job feel justified in yelling insults while the person is actively trying to do their job? The more I think about it the more bizarre the whole thing is. And its not even that important of a job. In the grand scheme of life, officials are like ten thousandth on the list of important jobs, just simply trying to enforce the rules of a game.

In case you can't already tell, I officiate HS football and basketball. The entire culture of HS sports is starting to really annoy me. I've been doing this for 5 years and the more I hear the more I want to grab a mike stand on top of the scorers table and just ask everyone what the heck they think they are doing. The fan comments range from mildly amusing to completely asinine. I've seen otherwise normal, level-headed adults scream at officials like they are committing crimes. All while the refs are trying to perform a task that is extremely difficult and complex.

And I don't know how to fix it. Sports seem to have taken a position of importance in our society that far outweighs its actual importance. People see the way refs are treated on TV and it filters down. They become villains when they do a poor job or simply make a bad judgement call. It is way over the top and frustrating. There is a shortage among officials at the school level in my area and, at least for basketball, it isn't about the money. I probably average about $20-$25 an hour working as a ref, but I have talked to a number of friends about reffing and they all say the same thing, "you couldn't pay me enough to do that job".

I'm a High School Ice Hockey Official and I've struggled with this on and off in the 16 years I've been doing it.

you just have to remind yourself 2 things...1. you enjoy the game and being part of it, and 2. you get paid and forget all about it.

Be consistent and focus on the game and you can't go wrong.

I've done both football (flag) and hockey and while it seems crazy, hockey is a much easier sport to ref. mainly b/c the game is usually always moving, so there is little time to dwell on a particular play or blown call. Plus, if you know you blew a call, its daily easy to find a 'make up' one rather quickly that can chill the crowd out.

In the end, you can't and won't fix it. Its up to the league to regulate. All you can do is focus on the game. In the end, you have the whistle you have the power. Coach being an ###...toss em. Parent disrupting the game...stop play until they are removed. (if the league supports the refs). I've gotten to the sage in my career where I only ref 1 league and it is mainly b/c they have league officials at every game and it is widely known that all I need to do is have the scorekeeper call the off ice official and the parent is gone. WE don't need to use it often, even though there are some ##### parents, but we have it if needed.

Reffing is a great gig...I want my kids to do it when they get older. But you are right, we are really struggling to fill young ref spots b/c they don't want the abuse.

2 stories: We have a ref who worked pretty high level games. He takes no #### and will sit a kid without hesitation the kid starts to pipe up. However he is fair with his calls, always in the right spot and always has control of the game. I was with him one game and we stepped on the ice and we heard the team captain say "Oh #### guys, the 'Priest' is doing our game tonight. Every keep your mouths shut."

the other, very similar to your frustration: I had a father riding me all game, no real reason, pretty good game but he was relentless. After the game i saw him in the lobby and i went up to him.

Me: "Excuse me sir, may I ask where you work?"

Him: "Um, why?"

Me: "So tomorrow I can go stand behind your desk and scream profanities at you all day long!"

him:

then just walked away. completely unprofessional and stupid, but it was just an in the moment thing.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

My opinion would be to the contrary.

. that wasn't just a "Push".. he brings his stick up and shoves it into the back of the Ref.. Claiming he thought it was a player or not doesn't dispute the fact he not only intentional did it.. But showed no remorse at all as he sat on the bench and gave the old

He went and apologized to him.

You see that "push" a few times a game when players are going to the bench and an opponent gets in their way.

It was clearly intentional. No doubt. But there is a massive difference between doing that to another player and doing it to an official.

 

[Limp Ditka]

So, why do we allow people to treat sports officials like we do?

In what other profession do complete strangers with no qualifications to perform the job feel justified in yelling insults while the person is actively trying to do their job? The more I think about it the more bizarre the whole thing is. And its not even that important of a job. In the grand scheme of life, officials are like ten thousandth on the list of important jobs, just simply trying to enforce the rules of a game.

In case you can't already tell, I officiate HS football and basketball. The entire culture of HS sports is starting to really annoy me. I've been doing this for 5 years and the more I hear the more I want to grab a mike stand on top of the scorers table and just ask everyone what the heck they think they are doing. The fan comments range from mildly amusing to completely asinine. I've seen otherwise normal, level-headed adults scream at officials like they are committing crimes. All while the refs are trying to perform a task that is extremely difficult and complex.

And I don't know how to fix it. Sports seem to have taken a position of importance in our society that far outweighs its actual importance. People see the way refs are treated on TV and it filters down. They become villains when they do a poor job or simply make a bad judgement call. It is way over the top and frustrating. There is a shortage among officials at the school level in my area and, at least for basketball, it isn't about the money. I probably average about $20-$25 an hour working as a ref, but I have talked to a number of friends about reffing and they all say the same thing, "you couldn't pay me enough to do that job".

I'm a High School Ice Hockey Official and I've struggled with this on and off in the 16 years I've been doing it.

you just have to remind yourself 2 things...1. you enjoy the game and being part of it, and 2. you get paid and forget all about it.

Be consistent and focus on the game and you can't go wrong.

I've done both football (flag) and hockey and while it seems crazy, hockey is a much easier sport to ref. mainly b/c the game is usually always moving, so there is little time to dwell on a particular play or blown call. Plus, if you know you blew a call, its daily easy to find a 'make up' one rather quickly that can chill the crowd out.

In the end, you can't and won't fix it. Its up to the league to regulate. All you can do is focus on the game. In the end, you have the whistle you have the power. Coach being an ###...toss em. Parent disrupting the game...stop play until they are removed. (if the league supports the refs). I've gotten to the sage in my career where I only ref 1 league and it is mainly b/c they have league officials at every game and it is widely known that all I need to do is have the scorekeeper call the off ice official and the parent is gone. WE don't need to use it often, even though there are some ##### parents, but we have it if needed.

Reffing is a great gig...I want my kids to do it when they get older. But you are right, we are really struggling to fill young ref spots b/c they don't want the abuse.

2 stories: We have a ref who worked pretty high level games. He takes no #### and will sit a kid without hesitation the kid starts to pipe up. However he is fair with his calls, always in the right spot and always has control of the game. I was with him one game and we stepped on the ice and we heard the team captain say "Oh #### guys, the 'Priest' is doing our game tonight. Every keep your mouths shut."

the other, very similar to your frustration: I had a father riding me all game, no real reason, pretty good game but he was relentless. After the game i saw him in the lobby and i went up to him.

Me: "Excuse me sir, may I ask where you work?"

Him: "Um, why?"

Me: "So tomorrow I can go stand behind your desk and scream profanities at you all day long!"

him:

then just walked away. completely unprofessional and stupid, but it was just an in the moment thing.

I'm going to go with refs thinking that two wrongs somehow make a right being a big part of the problem.

 

[roadkill1292]

I blame that execrable instant replay development.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So, why do we allow people to treat sports officials like we do?

In what other profession do complete strangers with no qualifications to perform the job feel justified in yelling insults while the person is actively trying to do their job? The more I think about it the more bizarre the whole thing is. And its not even that important of a job. In the grand scheme of life, officials are like ten thousandth on the list of important jobs, just simply trying to enforce the rules of a game.

In case you can't already tell, I officiate HS football and basketball. The entire culture of HS sports is starting to really annoy me. I've been doing this for 5 years and the more I hear the more I want to grab a mike stand on top of the scorers table and just ask everyone what the heck they think they are doing. The fan comments range from mildly amusing to completely asinine. I've seen otherwise normal, level-headed adults scream at officials like they are committing crimes. All while the refs are trying to perform a task that is extremely difficult and complex.

And I don't know how to fix it. Sports seem to have taken a position of importance in our society that far outweighs its actual importance. People see the way refs are treated on TV and it filters down. They become villains when they do a poor job or simply make a bad judgement call. It is way over the top and frustrating. There is a shortage among officials at the school level in my area and, at least for basketball, it isn't about the money. I probably average about $20-$25 an hour working as a ref, but I have talked to a number of friends about reffing and they all say the same thing, "you couldn't pay me enough to do that job".

I'm a High School Ice Hockey Official

YOU'RE MISSING A GREAT GAME, MR. MAGOO

 

[Parrothead]

In HS the students used to chant "Ref beats his wife!"

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

I don't think it's unique to sports culture. When people are frustrated, they always think they know better than people with experience. I've never run a DMV, but around my 45th minute in line, I'm always sure I know exactly how it could be better managed. Most people aren't transportation experts, but everyone has an opinion when the roads are in crappy shape after a snowstorm.

Parents are jerks to officials because parents care too much about an ultimately meaningless game. They're also jerks to coaches for the same reason.

 

[Limp Ditka]

I don't think it's unique to sports culture. When people are frustrated, they always think they know better than people with experience. I've never run a DMV, but around my 45th minute in line, I'm always sure I know exactly how it could be better managed. Most people aren't transportation experts, but everyone has an opinion when the roads are in crappy shape after a snowstorm.

Parents are jerks to officials because parents care too much about an ultimately meaningless game. They're also jerks to coaches for the same reason.

While I mentioned that there's power in numbers, because that's what enables the behavior, It's all about the meatheads fans / parents being powerless and not knowing how to handle that.

 

[The General]

LINK

 

[Cjw_55106]

Curious is this was triggered by the Calgary Flames' Dennis Wideman crosschecking a linesman the other day. Sure has brought official abuse to a new level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhnY1knUEW4

I'm sure there is lots of talk about this in the hockey thread but that wasn't "intentional" IMO. He was dazed and thought he was pushing an opponent out of the way to get to the bench. In no way did he think "hey, there's a linesman, I'm going to crush him for no reason!".

My opinion would be to the contrary.

. that wasn't just a "Push".. he brings his stick up and shoves it into the back of the Ref.. Claiming he thought it was a player or not doesn't dispute the fact he not only intentional did it.. But showed no remorse at all as he sat on the bench and gave the old

He went and apologized to him.

You see that "push" a few times a game when players are going to the bench and an opponent gets in their way.

It was clearly intentional. No doubt. But there is a massive difference between doing that to another player and doing it to an official.

Therein lies the problem. He didn't claim he thought it was another player. He claimed his head was down (it wasn't) and he didn't see him until it was too late. If you buy that, good for you. I don't for a second and have zero issues if he sits out the remainder of the season.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I see your point Jayrod, but if you think other workers don't get abused, you are kidding yourself. Why do you think so many people hate working in retail? Sometimes these poor people get abused when they didn't even miss an obvious call!

 

[The General]

Poor sucker working the call center for Comcast gets called much worse and he didn't even screw up an obvious traveling call.

 

[RUSF18]

I see your point Jayrod, but if you think other workers don't get abused, you are kidding yourself. Why do you think so many people hate working in retail? Sometimes these poor people get abused when they didn't even miss an obvious call!

Yeah I was going to respond to the "in what other profession..." question with "pretty much every one of them".

I bet Dentist can tell us stories of patients who think they know more about their own dental care than he does.

 

[Tom Servo]

I don't think it's unique to sports culture. When people are frustrated, they always think they know better than people with experience. I've never run a DMV, but around my 45th minute in line, I'm always sure I know exactly how it could be better managed. Most people aren't transportation experts, but everyone has an opinion when the roads are in crappy shape after a snowstorm.

Parents are jerks to officials because parents care too much about an ultimately meaningless game. They're also jerks to coaches for the same reason.

When my boys played soccer, I made a point to thank the refs (usually teenage soccer players) for helping out. The league parents were pretty cool, so there never was an issue. A bit of kindness goes a long way.

 

[pandora]

Thank you Jayrod for doing something that everyone THINKS they can do but does not have the guts to do it.

Thank you for being a referee.

 

[Gally]

I went to an umpire clinic last year as part of being on the board for little league. The overwhelming sentiment I saw was that the umpires "needed to take control" and not be "shown up" on the field. The whole atmosphere was an us against them mentality. I tried to make comments regarding this attitude and was very surprised that the response was filled with negativity.

I think much of the problem in youth sports regarding officials is the preconceived notion and confrontational attitude that happens when questioning calls. The tenseness starts with the attitude up front. If everyone on the field (umpires & coaches) understand they are there for the same reason (teaching the game to kids) then they can work together without being confrontational or nasty.

Being courteous and nice goes a long way to diffuse bad situations. Coaches also need to take control of their parents and put them in their place with respect to confronting officials. Most of the time the parents only make the situation worse.

 

[Steve Tasker]

I don't think it's unique to sports culture. When people are frustrated, they always think they know better than people with experience. I've never run a DMV, but around my 45th minute in line, I'm always sure I know exactly how it could be better managed. Most people aren't transportation experts, but everyone has an opinion when the roads are in crappy shape after a snowstorm.

Parents are jerks to officials because parents care too much about an ultimately meaningless game. They're also jerks to coaches for the same reason.

When my boys played soccer, I made a point to thank the refs (usually teenage soccer players) for helping out. The league parents were pretty cool, so there never was an issue. A bit of kindness goes a long way.

I reffed U12 soccer for a handful of years when I was ~14-16 years old. Nothing crazy, but I was making $15/game, usually would do back-to-back games and make $30 for 2.5 hours of work on a Saturday morning, not a bad gig. Probably 3/4 of the coaches and parents in the league were like you. Very polite, respectful, maybe ask a question or two but nothing out of the ordinary. The others were absolutely brutal. I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm some expert ref, I was just a lifelong player from the town who had taken a 5-hour ref clinic and was trying to make a little spending money. I'm sure I missed plenty of calls (we didn't have linesmen but were expected to call offsides correctly....good luck with that).

We were not allowed to give players red cards as this was supposed to be a casual local house league. There was a coach in the league who had a notorious temper, I had coached a game of his earlier in the year and he spent much of the game yelling obscenities at me and the other coach. During my second game with his team, the opposing team had a player score a hat trick. ####### coach's son comes onto the field as a sub, and within 30 seconds damn near breaks the hat trick kid's leg with a brutal not-even-remotely-close slide tackle. Thankfully the kid isn't hurt. I go to the player, powerless to give him a red card, and tell him to take a timeout. Coach is screaming at me and is on the field. I demand that he sub out the player for at least a few minutes to cool down. A player on this team enters the discussion and tells me that coach told his son to hurt the player. I tossed his son then and there and the opposing coach had to help me get control of the game. ####### coach continued to berate me all game, along with some of his team parents. After the game ended, I tried to get the #### out of there ASAP, and this ####### followed me to my car and called me every name in the book. And I just took it, because I was in shock. What can I say?

I called the league that night and told them I was done at the end of the season. I did the last few games and immediately after the season ended, the league banned ####### coach from ever coaching in the town again. They called me and begged me to come back and I declined. I have absolutely no desire to ever ref again. I give refs a lot of credit and always make sure to thank them postgame and address them as "sir" on the field. It's a thankless job, and you'd have to pay me an unbelievable amount of money to even ref HS sports.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I don't think it's unique to sports culture. When people are frustrated, they always think they know better than people with experience. I've never run a DMV, but around my 45th minute in line, I'm always sure I know exactly how it could be better managed. Most people aren't transportation experts, but everyone has an opinion when the roads are in crappy shape after a snowstorm.

Parents are jerks to officials because parents care too much about an ultimately meaningless game. They're also jerks to coaches for the same reason.

When my boys played soccer, I made a point to thank the refs (usually teenage soccer players) for helping out. The league parents were pretty cool, so there never was an issue. A bit of kindness goes a long way.

I reffed U12 soccer for a handful of years when I was ~14-16 years old. Nothing crazy, but I was making $15/game, usually would do back-to-back games and make $30 for 2.5 hours of work on a Saturday morning, not a bad gig. Probably 3/4 of the coaches and parents in the league were like you. Very polite, respectful, maybe ask a question or two but nothing out of the ordinary. The others were absolutely brutal. I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm some expert ref, I was just a lifelong player from the town who had taken a 5-hour ref clinic and was trying to make a little spending money. I'm sure I missed plenty of calls (we didn't have linesmen but were expected to call offsides correctly....good luck with that).

We were not allowed to give players red cards as this was supposed to be a casual local house league. There was a coach in the league who had a notorious temper, I had coached a game of his earlier in the year and spent much of the game yelling obscenities at me and the other coach. During my second game with his team, the opposing team had a player score a hat trick. ####### coach's son comes onto the field as a sub, and within 30 seconds damn near breaks the hat trick kid's leg with a brutal not-even-remotely-close slide tackle. Thankfully the kid isn't hurt. I go to the player, powerless to give him a red card, and tell him to take a timeout. Coach is screaming at me and is on the field. I demand that he sub out the player for at least a few minutes to cool down. A player on this team enters the discussion and tells me that coach told his son to hurt the player. I tossed his son then and there and the opposing coach had to help me get control of the game. ####### coach continued to berate me all game, along with some of his team parents. After the game ended, I tried to get the #### out of there ASAP, and this ####### followed me to my car and called me every name in the book. And I just took it, because I was in shock. What can I say?

I called the league that night and told them I was done at the end of the season. I did the last few games and immediately after the season ended, the league banned ####### coach from ever coaching in the town again. They called me and begged me to come back and I declined. I have absolutely no desire to ever ref again. I give refs a lot of credit and always make sure to thank them postgame and address them as "sir" on the field. It's a thankless job, and you'd have to pay me an unbelievable amount of money to even ref HS sports.

GO BACK TO FOOTLOCKER!

 

[Cjw_55106]

Obviously this guy is a jackass and would act that way even off the field.

I went to an umpire clinic last year as part of being on the board for little league. The overwhelming sentiment I saw was that the umpires "needed to take control" and not be "shown up" on the field. The whole atmosphere was an us against them mentality. I tried to make comments regarding this attitude and was very surprised that the response was filled with negativity.

I think much of the problem in youth sports regarding officials is the preconceived notion and confrontational attitude that happens when questioning calls. The tenseness starts with the attitude up front. If everyone on the field (umpires & coaches) understand they are there for the same reason (teaching the game to kids) then they can work together without being confrontational or nasty.

Being courteous and nice goes a long way to diffuse bad situations. Coaches also need to take control of their parents and put them in their place with respect to confronting officials. Most of the time the parents only make the situation worse.

I've seen this many times before. Tons of officials come in with an attitude.

I eventually got to pretty friendly terms with this official, but I remember it was about 25 minutes before our basketball game was to start (8th grade). We started warming up and I noticed the game clock had about 15 minutes on it. As usual, a couple of kids were running the clock. I didn't think anything of it. I walked over and set the clock for 23 minutes and started it back up. The ref comes over and tells me to never touch HIS clock again. I apologized and told him I didn't realize he had set the clock, and he just stared me down. What an ego this guy had!

 

[SWC]

Thank you Jayrod for doing something that everyone THINKS they can do but does not have the guts to do it.

Thank you for being a referee.

holy crap bromigo i could not be more with you there are people in this country who work hard every day brohan and not for fame or fortune do they strive cause the fruits of there labor are worth more than there pay and it is time a few of them were recognized hello pittsburg steel mill worker let me thank you for your time you work a forty hour week for a livin just to send it on down the line hello kansas wheat mill farmer let me thank you for your time you worka forty hour week for a livin just to send it on down the line hello americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa let me thaaaaaank you for youuuuuurrr timeeeeeeee cut to america the beautiful and then take that to the bank fello bromericans

 

[jhib]

Surprised refs can have rabbit ears, what with their heads so far up their ... wait, I like Jayrod.

Well, they say blindness often results in the heightening of your other senses.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Obviously this guy is a jackass and would act that way even off the field.

I went to an umpire clinic last year as part of being on the board for little league. The overwhelming sentiment I saw was that the umpires "needed to take control" and not be "shown up" on the field. The whole atmosphere was an us against them mentality. I tried to make comments regarding this attitude and was very surprised that the response was filled with negativity.

I think much of the problem in youth sports regarding officials is the preconceived notion and confrontational attitude that happens when questioning calls. The tenseness starts with the attitude up front. If everyone on the field (umpires & coaches) understand they are there for the same reason (teaching the game to kids) then they can work together without being confrontational or nasty.

Being courteous and nice goes a long way to diffuse bad situations. Coaches also need to take control of their parents and put them in their place with respect to confronting officials. Most of the time the parents only make the situation worse.

I've seen this many times before. Tons of officials come in with an attitude.

I eventually got to pretty friendly terms with this official, but I remember it was about 25 minutes before our basketball game was to start (8th grade). We started warming up and I noticed the game clock had about 15 minutes on it. As usual, a couple of kids were running the clock. I didn't think anything of it. I walked over and set the clock for 23 minutes and started it back up. The ref comes over and tells me to never touch HIS clock again. I apologized and told him I didn't realize he had set the clock, and he just stared me down. What an ego this guy had!

GET OFF YOUR KNEES...YOU'RE BLOWING THE GAME

 

[jhib]

My own refereeing experience consists entirely of the time my buddy asked me to ref his kid's 4th grade basketball game because they realized they were going to be ref-less at the last minute. I told him I'd never played organized basketball in my life and had very little clue, but he assured me that it wasn't a big deal - that I'd just have to make easy calls like out of bounds calls and if someone gets mugged. I'm sure I did a horrible job, and was lucky not to get abused by a parent, but my plan was just to tell anyone that complained that they could do it instead if they wanted. I did get a bad look from one guy, but I just shrugged, made a motion like I was offering him my whistle, and he smiled and left me alone the rest of the way.

Put me in the "no freaking way I do that job" club.

I have much respect for anyone that does.

If there were only a way you could make every observer have to put in 10 minutes of the job themselves before complaining, I think there'd be a lot less complaining.

 

[Gally]

I went to an umpire clinic last year as part of being on the board for little league. The overwhelming sentiment I saw was that the umpires "needed to take control" and not be "shown up" on the field. The whole atmosphere was an us against them mentality. I tried to make comments regarding this attitude and was very surprised that the response was filled with negativity.

I think much of the problem in youth sports regarding officials is the preconceived notion and confrontational attitude that happens when questioning calls. The tenseness starts with the attitude up front. If everyone on the field (umpires & coaches) understand they are there for the same reason (teaching the game to kids) then they can work together without being confrontational or nasty.

Being courteous and nice goes a long way to diffuse bad situations. Coaches also need to take control of their parents and put them in their place with respect to confronting officials. Most of the time the parents only make the situation worse.

I've seen this many times before. Tons of officials come in with an attitude.

I was very surprised that the whole atmosphere was confrontational where they were expecting issues. From my experience as a manager in baseball when you have the pre-game meeting you can tell when there will be issues and when things will go smooth. The umps with good natured easy attitudes usually had a solid game with very little issue from the crowd or coaches. The umps with a "not gonna put up with crap" attitude usually went to the offensive and things would get heated. Laid back attitudes with "we are just here to learn and teach" had very little issue or confrontation.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My own refereeing experience consists entirely of the time my buddy asked me to ref his kid's 4th grade basketball game because they realized they were going to be ref-less at the last minute. I told him I'd never played organized basketball in my life and had very little clue, but he assured me that it wasn't a big deal - that I'd just have to make easy calls like out of bounds calls and if someone gets mugged. I'm sure I did a horrible job, and was lucky not to get abused by a parent, but my plan was just to tell anyone that complained that they could do it instead if they wanted. I did get a bad look from one guy, but I just shrugged, made a motion like I was offering him my whistle, and he smiled and left me alone the rest of the way.

Put me in the "no freaking way I do that job" club.

I have much respect for anyone that does.

If there were only a way you could make every observer have to put in 10 minutes of the job themselves before complaining, I think there'd be a lot less complaining.

IS YOUR WIFE OK WITH YOU SCREWING US ALL NIGHT LONG?

 

[Jayrod]

My own refereeing experience consists entirely of the time my buddy asked me to ref his kid's 4th grade basketball game because they realized they were going to be ref-less at the last minute. I told him I'd never played organized basketball in my life and had very little clue, but he assured me that it wasn't a big deal - that I'd just have to make easy calls like out of bounds calls and if someone gets mugged. I'm sure I did a horrible job, and was lucky not to get abused by a parent, but my plan was just to tell anyone that complained that they could do it instead if they wanted. I did get a bad look from one guy, but I just shrugged, made a motion like I was offering him my whistle, and he smiled and left me alone the rest of the way.

Put me in the "no freaking way I do that job" club.

I have much respect for anyone that does.

If there were only a way you could make every observer have to put in 10 minutes of the job themselves before complaining, I think there'd be a lot less complaining.

IS YOUR WIFE OK WITH YOU SCREWING US ALL NIGHT LONG?

I'd probably just crack up at this one.

 

[Jayrod]

I went to an umpire clinic last year as part of being on the board for little league. The overwhelming sentiment I saw was that the umpires "needed to take control" and not be "shown up" on the field. The whole atmosphere was an us against them mentality. I tried to make comments regarding this attitude and was very surprised that the response was filled with negativity.

I think much of the problem in youth sports regarding officials is the preconceived notion and confrontational attitude that happens when questioning calls. The tenseness starts with the attitude up front. If everyone on the field (umpires & coaches) understand they are there for the same reason (teaching the game to kids) then they can work together without being confrontational or nasty.

Being courteous and nice goes a long way to diffuse bad situations. Coaches also need to take control of their parents and put them in their place with respect to confronting officials. Most of the time the parents only make the situation worse.

I've seen this many times before. Tons of officials come in with an attitude.

I was very surprised that the whole atmosphere was confrontational where they were expecting issues. From my experience as a manager in baseball when you have the pre-game meeting you can tell when there will be issues and when things will go smooth. The umps with good natured easy attitudes usually had a solid game with very little issue from the crown or coaches. The umps with a "not gonna put up with crap" attitude usually went to the offensive and things would get heated. Laid back attitudes with we are just here to learn and teach had very little issue or confrontation.

I'm sure some of that is out there.

The two associations I'm a part of are very good. They give us pretty good training and the culture is very professional and geared towards respect for the coaches, players and the game.

I usually make jokes all during the pregame and try to lighten up everything beforehand. The only times I've really had issues is late in games. I probably only average one tough situation a year and it tends to be because of a coach that will complain all game long. Fans always seem to feed off of the coach. Sometimes those coaches end up settling down once the outcome is obvious, but the fans will rarely calm down once they get riled up. But if the game is real close or they are getting blown out, sometimes that coach will actually get worse and that's when things get serious and I have to call a technical and by that point, its a full blown hostile environment.

 

[Thorpe]

Some parents are so delusional in their minds your bad reffing is the only thing preventing their kids from getting a multi-million dollar career as a pro athlete.

 

[cheese]

Coaches get on officials because it works. You get the next call if you can do it within reason. You'll never convince me otherwise.

Parents, I'm less sure. I think they like to show off that they know rules.

 

[Jayrod]

Coaches get on officials because it works. You get the next call if you can do it within reason. You'll never convince me otherwise.

Parents, I'm less sure. I think they like to show off that they know rules.

Oh it can definitely help coaches if they do it properly. Refs usually know when they've made a mistake and a coach pointing it out properly will get them to work harder not to screw that same team again. Lazy refs will give a makeup call. ##### refs will punish the coach for pointing it out. I've been accused of both, but I've never honestly tried to give a team a makeup call or punish a team. Sometimes a play will allow for a call to settle down things. Sometimes a play will allow for things to escalate. I do my best to call what is in front of me, but there are times when we get together and say, "lets not miss any fouls on this end".

The three biggest things that coaches complain about that will get a response are illegal screens, 3-seconds in the lane and off ball fouls on the defense. Those are things that are easiest to miss by an official. On ball fouls and travelling are rarely missed because you should always have eyes on the ballcarrier.

 

[Cjw_55106]

Coaches get on officials because it works. You get the next call if you can do it within reason. You'll never convince me otherwise.

Parents, I'm less sure. I think they like to show off that they know rules.

The three biggest things that coaches complain about that will get a response are illegal screens, 3-seconds in the lane and off ball fouls on the defense. Those are things that are easiest to miss by an official. On ball fouls and travelling are rarely missed because you should always have eyes on the ballcarrier.

I felt bad, but the only time I went too far as a parent was when I looked right at a ref and told him he was terrible. The guy wasn't calling anything and in this case, the ball handler was slapped in the face. Even if you didn't see it, you could easily hear it.

His partner came over to me during a timeout and told me he was new. Then ref younger kids IMO. You shouldn't start with high school.

 

[roadkill1292]

I was a terrible ref-baiter in my yoot. Terrible in both ways -- mean and unfunny. I've been really sorry about that for over 40 years.