I lost one of my closest friends to suicide this past weekend. It has been a really difficult situation to wrap my head around. I have a good support system around me, but I've learned a lot over the past few days. I think the hardest part has been not blaming myself for not calling him last week. We usually check in on each other once a week, but I was busy. The biggest takeaway for me is going to be when I check in on friends making sure if I ask if they are okay or need to talk about anything. What movies I've seen or the NBA playoffs is important, but so is the real stuff. Hope everyone is having a good day.
Don't ever blame yourself. As someone who has attempted multiple times, I can say that I talked with friends right before and never let on. Sometimes, there's just nothing you can do or say. I don't say that to be cold or ruthless, but rather to let you know that you are not to blame.
I'd also say, on the other side and not directed to anyone, don't say things like they were/are selfish, or think of everyone you'll hurt. A lot of people do it because they feel like a burden and they do it because they think they are helping others. This was always my thinking. I'm not saying it was right, but in the eyes of the person doing it, they've most likely thought long and hard about how their loved ones would feel and they've weighed the options. I would imagine most people who take their lives don't do it on a whim. It takes a lot of time to get that low and depressed that this option even crosses their mind. In my cases, I can tell you I've weighed those thoughts. They are deep thoughts. Words cannot explain just what is going on in your mind.
Best advice I can give is stop taking stupid things so seriously. If you know friends who are obsessed with politics, make sure they realize none of it really matters. Sure, it matters a little. But the real truth is most of it doesn't. Stop watching the news or at least take a big break from it. All media (including social) is designed to make you care so much that you have to keep following it. Their whole job is to make you angry. Back in the 1920's, they coined the phrase "Sex Sells." And it was genius. But by the 2000's, they realized "Anger and Rage Sells" better.
I still struggle with it. It's something that never truly goes away. Back in the day, I made sure to reach out to jonnnycakes and just have normal conversations. You might not be able to stop somebody by talking to them right before they try because that's waiting to the last minute. Instead, just try to be there for them in their time of need early. And yes, that might be impossible and there is no magic... well, that might be a bad phrase to use. There's no one way that works for everyone.
To anyone who needs it, reach out to someone. I'm rarely on here anymore, so I might not respond, but reach out to me, a good friend, or a professional. Just talking about it can be a big help a lot of times. Stay strong.
to you all...
