Suicide Prevention (1 Viewer)

[rockaction]

I should point out the reason I mentioned political talk specifically is because right now thousands and thousands of people are cutting off friends and family because they don't share the same political beliefs. Stop that. Family and friends are important. You need to learn how to live with people who have wildly different views. And anyone who tells you different is not working for your best interests.

Thanks, Sheik. Thanks for the reminder and for popping in. Good to see you.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I lost one of my closest friends to suicide this past weekend. It has been a really difficult situation to wrap my head around. I have a good support system around me, but I've learned a lot over the past few days. I think the hardest part has been not blaming myself for not calling him last week. We usually check in on each other once a week, but I was busy. The biggest takeaway for me is going to be when I check in on friends making sure if I ask if they are okay or need to talk about anything. What movies I've seen or the NBA playoffs is important, but so is the real stuff. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Don't ever blame yourself. As someone who has attempted multiple times, I can say that I talked with friends right before and never let on. Sometimes, there's just nothing you can do or say. I don't say that to be cold or ruthless, but rather to let you know that you are not to blame.

I'd also say, on the other side and not directed to anyone, don't say things like they were/are selfish, or think of everyone you'll hurt. A lot of people do it because they feel like a burden and they do it because they think they are helping others. This was always my thinking. I'm not saying it was right, but in the eyes of the person doing it, they've most likely thought long and hard about how their loved ones would feel and they've weighed the options. I would imagine most people who take their lives don't do it on a whim. It takes a lot of time to get that low and depressed that this option even crosses their mind. In my cases, I can tell you I've weighed those thoughts. They are deep thoughts. Words cannot explain just what is going on in your mind.

Best advice I can give is stop taking stupid things so seriously. If you know friends who are obsessed with politics, make sure they realize none of it really matters. Sure, it matters a little. But the real truth is most of it doesn't. Stop watching the news or at least take a big break from it. All media (including social) is designed to make you care so much that you have to keep following it. Their whole job is to make you angry. Back in the 1920's, they coined the phrase "Sex Sells." And it was genius. But by the 2000's, they realized "Anger and Rage Sells" better.

I still struggle with it. It's something that never truly goes away. Back in the day, I made sure to reach out to jonnnycakes and just have normal conversations. You might not be able to stop somebody by talking to them right before they try because that's waiting to the last minute. Instead, just try to be there for them in their time of need early. And yes, that might be impossible and there is no magic... well, that might be a bad phrase to use. There's no one way that works for everyone.

To anyone who needs it, reach out to someone. I'm rarely on here anymore, so I might not respond, but reach out to me, a good friend, or a professional. Just talking about it can be a big help a lot of times. Stay strong.

Good words. Thanks for sharing, and hope to see you around more.

 

[nirad3]

I lost one of my closest friends to suicide this past weekend. It has been a really difficult situation to wrap my head around. I have a good support system around me, but I've learned a lot over the past few days. I think the hardest part has been not blaming myself for not calling him last week. We usually check in on each other once a week, but I was busy. The biggest takeaway for me is going to be when I check in on friends making sure if I ask if they are okay or need to talk about anything. What movies I've seen or the NBA playoffs is important, but so is the real stuff. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Don't ever blame yourself. As someone who has attempted multiple times, I can say that I talked with friends right before and never let on. Sometimes, there's just nothing you can do or say. I don't say that to be cold or ruthless, but rather to let you know that you are not to blame.

I'd also say, on the other side and not directed to anyone, don't say things like they were/are selfish, or think of everyone you'll hurt. A lot of people do it because they feel like a burden and they do it because they think they are helping others. This was always my thinking. I'm not saying it was right, but in the eyes of the person doing it, they've most likely thought long and hard about how their loved ones would feel and they've weighed the options. I would imagine most people who take their lives don't do it on a whim. It takes a lot of time to get that low and depressed that this option even crosses their mind. In my cases, I can tell you I've weighed those thoughts. They are deep thoughts. Words cannot explain just what is going on in your mind.

Best advice I can give is stop taking stupid things so seriously. If you know friends who are obsessed with politics, make sure they realize none of it really matters. Sure, it matters a little. But the real truth is most of it doesn't. Stop watching the news or at least take a big break from it. All media (including social) is designed to make you care so much that you have to keep following it. Their whole job is to make you angry. Back in the 1920's, they coined the phrase "Sex Sells." And it was genius. But by the 2000's, they realized "Anger and Rage Sells" better.

I still struggle with it. It's something that never truly goes away. Back in the day, I made sure to reach out to jonnnycakes and just have normal conversations. You might not be able to stop somebody by talking to them right before they try because that's waiting to the last minute. Instead, just try to be there for them in their time of need early. And yes, that might be impossible and there is no magic... well, that might be a bad phrase to use. There's no one way that works for everyone.

To anyone who needs it, reach out to someone. I'm rarely on here anymore, so I might not respond, but reach out to me, a good friend, or a professional. Just talking about it can be a big help a lot of times. Stay strong.

Good words. Thanks for sharing, and hope to see you around more.

What Joe said. to you all...

 

[Max Power]

I received word this morning that a friend and co-worker committed suicide last night. He was active duty military who was about to separate from the military with only a couple weeks left. It's really sad for everyone as he leaves behind 5 kids with a 6th on the way. He sought mental health treatment about a year ago and did 60 days in-patient treatment. Once he came back to the command, things were never the same. He smiled and appeared happy. We talked in the halls in passing. I'd ask how he was doing and always got the "Good, you?" reply. I wish I had pulled him to the side to ask more directly. We were friendly at work and facebook friends outside of work, but we didn't hang out.

There is some anger in the air today. Once he came back from his mental health treatment he was removed from his primary duties dealing with classified intelligence and put into the logistics area where he was assigned low level work. Others were upset for him because asking for help isn't supposed to come with loss of trust, but this time it did. This pushes people away from asking for help in the future. People were mad, but he kept smiling though it.

His resume came across my desk from a contracting company about a month ago for the contract I do the hiring on. It's standard procedure for me to forward resumes to the teams the new hires will eventually work for to make sure the teams have no objections. Well the team did and we ended up not letting him interview. I was upset when they first said no to his resume because I know he has the skills to work here. He's done this exact job (well) in the past. The team and unit leaders let me know that this individual was having a lot more problems than I knew about (domestic violence claims) and they thought it best that he moved on. I didn't put up much of a fight for him and maybe wish I would have.

The contracting company informed him he wouldn't be screened to work here and yet he still had to show up daily to do mundane tasks. I talked to him a couple times after but never about the hiring action. He didn't appear to be too upset over it.

Now that the news is out, more stories are coming out and it just feels like we didn't do enough to take care of him. An investigation is being launched into what happened. I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel like I did a decent job checking on him, but looking back it now feels like once I got an answer I was ok with, I moved along with a surface level response.

We're coming up on the holiday season which is the hardest time of year for a lot of people. This event served as a terrible reminder that nothing can be done after the fact. I think it's human nature to wish you had done more, but this can also serve as a reminder to ask the tough question, show support and just let others know you care about them.

 

[MTskibum]

My fishing buddies 28 year old son earlier this year :-(
He was devastated.

 

[Joe Bryant]

My fishing buddies 28 year old son earlier this year :-(
He was devastated.

I'm sorry, GB. Unimaginable.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I received word this morning that a friend and co-worker committed suicide last night. He was active duty military who was about to separate from the military with only a couple weeks left. It's really sad for everyone as he leaves behind 5 kids with a 6th on the way. He sought mental health treatment about a year ago and did 60 days in-patient treatment. Once he came back to the command, things were never the same. He smiled and appeared happy. We talked in the halls in passing. I'd ask how he was doing and always got the "Good, you?" reply. I wish I had pulled him to the side to ask more directly. We were friendly at work and facebook friends outside of work, but we didn't hang out.

There is some anger in the air today. Once he came back from his mental health treatment he was removed from his primary duties dealing with classified intelligence and put into the logistics area where he was assigned low level work. Others were upset for him because asking for help isn't supposed to come with loss of trust, but this time it did. This pushes people away from asking for help in the future. People were mad, but he kept smiling though it.

His resume came across my desk from a contracting company about a month ago for the contract I do the hiring on. It's standard procedure for me to forward resumes to the teams the new hires will eventually work for to make sure the teams have no objections. Well the team did and we ended up not letting him interview. I was upset when they first said no to his resume because I know he has the skills to work here. He's done this exact job (well) in the past. The team and unit leaders let me know that this individual was having a lot more problems than I knew about (domestic violence claims) and they thought it best that he moved on. I didn't put up much of a fight for him and maybe wish I would have.

The contracting company informed him he wouldn't be screened to work here and yet he still had to show up daily to do mundane tasks. I talked to him a couple times after but never about the hiring action. He didn't appear to be too upset over it.

Now that the news is out, more stories are coming out and it just feels like we didn't do enough to take care of him. An investigation is being launched into what happened. I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel like I did a decent job checking on him, but looking back it now feels like once I got an answer I was ok with, I moved along with a surface level response.

We're coming up on the holiday season which is the hardest time of year for a lot of people. This event served as a terrible reminder that nothing can be done after the fact. I think it's human nature to wish you had done more, but this can also serve as a reminder to ask the tough question, show support and just let others know you care about them.

I'm sorry, GB. Show yourself some grace there. None of us are able to give everything to everyone. But it's good to talk about it and try to do what we can, like you did. Show yourself grace there.

 

[FarFromHome]

I received word this morning that a friend and co-worker committed suicide last night. He was active duty military who was about to separate from the military with only a couple weeks left. It's really sad for everyone as he leaves behind 5 kids with a 6th on the way. He sought mental health treatment about a year ago and did 60 days in-patient treatment. Once he came back to the command, things were never the same. He smiled and appeared happy. We talked in the halls in passing. I'd ask how he was doing and always got the "Good, you?" reply. I wish I had pulled him to the side to ask more directly. We were friendly at work and facebook friends outside of work, but we didn't hang out.

There is some anger in the air today. Once he came back from his mental health treatment he was removed from his primary duties dealing with classified intelligence and put into the logistics area where he was assigned low level work. Others were upset for him because asking for help isn't supposed to come with loss of trust, but this time it did. This pushes people away from asking for help in the future. People were mad, but he kept smiling though it.

His resume came across my desk from a contracting company about a month ago for the contract I do the hiring on. It's standard procedure for me to forward resumes to the teams the new hires will eventually work for to make sure the teams have no objections. Well the team did and we ended up not letting him interview. I was upset when they first said no to his resume because I know he has the skills to work here. He's done this exact job (well) in the past. The team and unit leaders let me know that this individual was having a lot more problems than I knew about (domestic violence claims) and they thought it best that he moved on. I didn't put up much of a fight for him and maybe wish I would have.

The contracting company informed him he wouldn't be screened to work here and yet he still had to show up daily to do mundane tasks. I talked to him a couple times after but never about the hiring action. He didn't appear to be too upset over it.

Now that the news is out, more stories are coming out and it just feels like we didn't do enough to take care of him. An investigation is being launched into what happened. I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel like I did a decent job checking on him, but looking back it now feels like once I got an answer I was ok with, I moved along with a surface level response.

We're coming up on the holiday season which is the hardest time of year for a lot of people. This event served as a terrible reminder that nothing can be done after the fact. I think it's human nature to wish you had done more, but this can also serve as a reminder to ask the tough question, show support and just let others know you care about them.

Just a sad read for me. As someone who has struggled with PTSD, I wonder if that was a factor? Contrary to what most people think, a lot of active duty vets don't actually go to combat scenarios. It's such a dark thing to deal with. I've NEVER been suicidal. It's hard to describe what my bad days look like. Best way to describe is that on some mornings my mental light switch doesn't turn on. Just stays dark on those days. Support is everything. Sounds like your coworker got what the military had to offer for mental health services so that's good. To change his job upon return seems like an unwarranted trigger he never should have had to deal with. Smh. The weight of his large family, anxiety of getting out and the feeling of no hope in sight ended this young man's life. Just so sad to read.

 

[Deepster]

For many, posting about it on an anonymous message board is easier than talking to trusted people in your everyday life.

Agreed. For all the reasons I dislike the anonymous part of the boards, this is a big reason why it's a plus.

Interestingly enough, I found over time, I was using boards and that anonymity to vent and take out my issues on others. For me, it was a free, convenient, anonymous way to have a bad day, jump online and be a sarcastic troll, taking out my stuff on someone else to let the pressure release.

I really try to not do that anymore. A) It doesn't really address the root cause of why I was in a bad moon and B) when I see other people doing it now, I instantly think they are having a bad day and don't really mean it.