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Suicide (2 Viewers)

I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.
This is true however when you are in such pain, you don't care about that.. Which is why you should never let the suicidal person keep themselves isolated. People tend to pull away from people who are depressing and not take what they say seriously. In majority of the cases, you need to be listening to that person. I'm dealing with this in my fam too with my uncle who gets suicidal, who is also an alcoholic so it's harder to want to be around. But I know if we don't keep him a part of the fam that he will do it. He may do it anyway but I have no doubt we are at least keeping him up enough to where he still finds something in life worth living for right now.
If someone is truly suicidal and wants to kill themselves, do you really think there is anything a person can do to stop it?
No if you wait until it's almost too late to try and reach them. Like I said, they may kill themselves eventually but at least they stand a chance if they feels at least someone really cares about them. All suicidals feel very alone and are very depressed. They are isolated even further because people get tired of it all and stop being around them. Let that person simmer that way long enough and it very well could happen. One big treatment for depression is to get that person out of his home and out of being alone so much.
Not sure if anybody noticed I was gone since the beginning of December.

It was because of this very topic. My 2nd attempt in 4 years. I was isolating myself, was overwhelmed with stress at work and never dealt with my sister's death a couple of months ago. Took a lot of Tylenol. Not a way to die. Very ugly and painful.

Ended up in the Hospital for 7 days, then in the pysch ward for another 7 days. Where, after many long talks, a great doctor diagnosed me with Bi-Polar and got me on Lithium, which has been great. Really has stabilized me.

And the last couple of weeks, I have been in a partial hospitalization group therapy (6 Hours a day Monday-Saturday). It has been pretty helpful. I am now moving to a less intensive therapy (3 hours for Mon-Thurs) starting tomorrow

I can never undo the pain I have caused my family and friends. My kids are talking to me at least, but I know they are still pissed at me. I have a lot of work to repair that relationship.

And I have a lot of sh** I need to do to fix my own life. Lot of the stuff I need to do is pretty effen scary, but I feel hope. It can work.

I have been trying to avoid my various sites because I need to work on my real life relationships and not be so much online. But for some reason I logged on here and saw the thread. So I told my story. I will disappear again for a while, but will be back for the 2014 Summer T-Shirt exchange if not sooner.

I will check PM's every other day in case somebody wants to talk about depression, Mental Illness or Suicide. I have been there and it is not worth it

And Curlynight, thanks for the link, I will check it out

Take care all
Not sure if anybody noticed I was gone since the beginning of December.

It was because of this very topic. My 2nd attempt in 4 years. I was isolating myself, was overwhelmed with stress at work and never dealt with my sister's death a couple of months ago. Took a lot of Tylenol. Not a way to die. Very ugly and painful.

Ended up in the Hospital for 7 days, then in the pysch ward for another 7 days. Where, after many long talks, a great doctor diagnosed me with Bi-Polar and got me on Lithium, which has been great. Really has stabilized me.

And the last couple of weeks, I have been in a partial hospitalization group therapy (6 Hours a day Monday-Saturday). It has been pretty helpful. I am now moving to a less intensive therapy (3 hours for Mon-Thurs) starting tomorrow

I can never undo the pain I have caused my family and friends. My kids are talking to me at least, but I know they are still pissed at me. I have a lot of work to repair that relationship.

And I have a lot of sh** I need to do to fix my own life. Lot of the stuff I need to do is pretty effen scary, but I feel hope. It can work.

I have been trying to avoid my various sites because I need to work on my real life relationships and not be so much online. But for some reason I logged on here and saw the thread. So I told my story. I will disappear again for a while, but will be back for the 2014 Summer T-Shirt exchange if not sooner.

I will check PM's every other day in case somebody wants to talk about depression, Mental Illness or Suicide. I have been there and it is not worth it

And Curlynight, thanks for the link, I will check it out

Take care all
I think you should stay. Maybe people need you here as well. It's not always about you. I would enjoy some of these conversations. Life is hard. So is mine. I think you should stay here and talk.
I appreciate the kind words. I will check in on occasion, just need to limit myself or I will get sucked back in to living on-line instead of living in the real world.

You can't get rid of me that easily :cool: (I must say I do miss the emoticons)

 
Not sure if anybody noticed I was gone since the beginning of December.

It was because of this very topic. My 2nd attempt in 4 years. I was isolating myself, was overwhelmed with stress at work and never dealt with my sister's death a couple of months ago. Took a lot of Tylenol. Not a way to die. Very ugly and painful.

Ended up in the Hospital for 7 days, then in the pysch ward for another 7 days. Where, after many long talks, a great doctor diagnosed me with Bi-Polar and got me on Lithium, which has been great. Really has stabilized me.

And the last couple of weeks, I have been in a partial hospitalization group therapy (6 Hours a day Monday-Saturday). It has been pretty helpful. I am now moving to a less intensive therapy (3 hours for Mon-Thurs) starting tomorrow

I can never undo the pain I have caused my family and friends. My kids are talking to me at least, but I know they are still pissed at me. I have a lot of work to repair that relationship.

And I have a lot of sh** I need to do to fix my own life. Lot of the stuff I need to do is pretty effen scary, but I feel hope. It can work.

I have been trying to avoid my various sites because I need to work on my real life relationships and not be so much online. But for some reason I logged on here and saw the thread. So I told my story. I will disappear again for a while, but will be back for the 2014 Summer T-Shirt exchange if not sooner.

I will check PM's every other day in case somebody wants to talk about depression, Mental Illness or Suicide. I have been there and it is not worth it

And Curlynight, thanks for the link, I will check it out

Take care all
Your account isn't accepting PMs. You're welcome. Sorry to hear your downfall. Things do get better and you do have people who care about you. It will really help those who you affected to check out NAMI as well. They have groups for those who are family/friends of the person to talk and get their questions answered. Groups are great. You link with a lot of people rather than just a therapist. It's really important that they understand it just as much as it is for you for you need that support.

Take care and best wishes to you. Feel free to PM me if you like.
Cleaned out some old ones so I have room. I will PM you in the next couple of days

 
Abraham said:
I remember a late night thread back on ol yeller that someone started who was about to do it. A bunch of us, Joe B being one, did our best to talk him out of it. We never knew if we succeeded but it seemed like we got through to him. It was one of the first threads here in the FFA that had a real impact on me and made me realize the power of a message board.
It was a user named Unknown Soldier. Shick got a hold of him on the phone and he stayed with us.
Thanks. After writing, I wasn't sure if it was JB or Shick! Glad to hear he didn't go through with it. Hopefully he never fell again.

 
Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.

Someone should live and suffer because their family will miss them?

Depressio is not always a mental disorder. In dire life circumstances it is completely normal to feel sad. Sometimes there really is no way out and it is Instinctual to end the suffering.

The depressed are not different from the "normal" people. Under the right circumstances even they will crumble. Its easy to judge when life deals you a better hand and you know nothing of the other side

 
I've had three different people in my life attempt or commit suicide.

First was my sister. She took a bunch of different pills when she was 17, but my parents found her in time and she was taken to the hospital. I never really understood why. I didn't see her life being that much different than mine. I am a few years older and wasn't living at home. But, I felt I had a good upbringing. I now have a better understanding of what teenagers go through. Having a 17 year old daughter makes me think about what she may be going through. I like to think it makes me a better father. Or a least a more attentive one.

Second was my brother in law. He killed himself about 5 years after we got married. He was 23 and got into an argument with his girlfriend. In a moment of anger he ended his life right in front of her. Not sure if he would have done it given time to think, but nobody in the family would admit that he was suicidal. They feel better thinking it was just an accident. He left behind a young daughter, and a lot of broken hearts.

Third was my wife's friend. They went to high school together and she was a bridesmaid at our wedding. I didn't know her that well and only saw her a couple of times a year. She married young and got divorced within a couple of yeas. But she remarried and had two kids. My wife had commented how much happier she seemed with her new husband. A couple of months later she gathered pictures of her kids (sound familiar), some pillows, and climbed into the back of the car that was in the garage. Her death hit my wife pretty hard. Having kids herself, she couldn't understand how a mother could do this to her children.

 
To those that consider it I have a story to share -

about 8 years ago I started experiencing panic attacks out of the blue. The first one I had, i thought I was dying of a heart attack. Well that was the precursor to a several month fight which drug me through hell and back. The anxiety led to mind racing which led to insomnia - but not normal insomnia, we are talking days on end insomnia. Every night, could not sleep - would lay down and never sleep. No appetitie and pounds were falling off. Went ot a doc and they coul dfind nothing wrong so they started experimenting with various slepeing agents...still nothing worked. Then they figured I must be bipolar so they put me on Lithium - still no effect. By this time it was literally no sleep and your mind starts playing tricks on you - wouldn't it be easy just to end the suffering by swerving into a median on the way to work? After a couple of thes types of thoughts I checked myself into the ER. They shot me up with Valium - telling my wife don't worry be gave him enough to knock out a rhino. They kept me for observation for a few hours and released me back home - but instead of sleeping for days I was wide awake again within 3 hours of arriving home. Then it seemed to even get worse because now not only was I not sleeping but I was panicking about not being able to sleep and I knew the body needed to sleep but mine wouldn't. So one Monday morning I packed a blanket and a pillow in the back of my car and grabbed all of the meds they had tried on me. I got a couple bottles of water to wash it all down and then drove to a secluded forest area twenty miles or so from town. I then proceeded to take every pill I had and waited to drift off into a sleep I would never wake up from.

Work called my wife asking where I was about noon that day - she called the police a little later and they came over to the house. Whne they got there they told her they wanted to check the garge but they didn't want her there. They thought I might have killed myself in the garage. People from work began searching for me in the local area, but I was nowhere to be found.

About 5 pm I come to my wake up from a stupor and realize what terrible choice I made. I am groggy but feeling no pain. I drive home to a panicked household. What followed was a brief n patinet stay in a psych ward where they realized I wasn't "crazy' and after severla days realized I had a condition called cyclothymia. It is a condition where cyclically you enter a manic state withoout the depressive state. Through the correct medication it was eventually manageable and now all these years later I am healthy and know the warning signs and how to control the condition.

Why do I tell this story? I am a good guy with a beautiful family a great job and a lot to live for. But, in the depths of my illness I thought ending it all was my only way out. Had I been successful I would have missed out on my oldest daughter graduating for high school and college, getitng her first job, getting engaged....I woul dhave misse dout on my oldest son graduating from high and going off to college. I would not have been there when by now 16 year old went throuhg a rough patch of anxiety disorder where I was able to help him through it with my experiences. I would have missed my 3rd son playing baseball and all of his accomplishments. I would have missed my youngest son growing into the fine young man he has become. I would have left my wife alone to raise our kids without a dad. And I would have missed out on the lives of all the other people thta come to find out I had touched in some way.

The point? Suicide is never the answer. It creates more problems than any it might "solve". Talk to someone. Get help. Don't think you are alone or what you are going through is some burden that no one else could bear. Find someone to help you bear it. Things get better.

Peace out.
Wow.. glad you are still with us GB.. :thumbup:

 
Abraham said:
I remember a late night thread back on ol yeller that someone started who was about to do it. A bunch of us, Joe B being one, did our best to talk him out of it. We never knew if we succeeded but it seemed like we got through to him. It was one of the first threads here in the FFA that had a real impact on me and made me realize the power of a message board.
It was a user named Unknown Soldier. Shick got a hold of him on the phone and he stayed with us.
:thumbup:

 
i've considered it due to financial problems.

being broke and alone ... sucks.
Brings back bad memories of when I was 19.. :(

I had gotten fired from my job( my own fault as I choose drinking/partying over working).. After a month and a half and no new job I started sleeping on the floor of the bedroom at my friends house( lost my apartment of course), my car was a POS and needed a lot of work, and had no girlfriend..

Seemed no matter what I did I couldn't dig myself out of the hole I had dug myself into.

So I started thinking about ending it, and even had the idea "drawn" up in my head of taking my POS car to the top of the nearest ski resort, head down hill and drive over the side..

Then, out of the blue, a girl who I had been friends with for 3 years, just friends never went further, called me. We hadn't talked to each other for over 3 months so it was pretty eerie that she'd call me when things were the darkest...

She was the only person in the world at the time I could talk to and not worry about being judged. So I spilled my guts out to her telling her how "dark" I had become and how timely her phone call was. We talked for about 3 hours and by the time I got off the phone I had a new plan.

I called my sister in Wisconsin and explained my situation. She told me that her and her boyfriend could put me up and help me find a job. So I packed up what little things I had and moved in. Within a month I had 2 jobs, then met my wife, started college and the rest, as they say, is history..

To this day I look back at that period of my life realize how close I became to leaving the world and realize how much talking to someone made all the difference in the world.

 
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Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.
If the person goes into the woods and never returns, then it's not too selfish. However, many forms of suicide require someone removing a dead body. Check out this gruesome story about a first hand account of a guy who scooped up one of these selfish a-holes.

12.17.08, GEOFF G., TAMPA, I AM THE BOATER WHO PICKED ALFREDO GRANIOLA, AGE 42 OUT OF THE WATER. I KNOW HIS NAME BECAUSE I HAD TO WAIT 3 HOURS TO TALK TO EVERY LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY IN SOUTHWEST FLORIDA. AND THE SHERIFF TOLD ME . AT FIRST I WANTED TO KNOW WHY HE WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT . IF HE HAD A FAMILY. BY THE WAY HE WAS DRIVING HIS GIRLFRIENDS CAR. I HOPE I DONT HURT ANYONES FEELINGS . BUT I HONESTLY NEVER THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE. I SAW THE LAST 100 FOOT OF HIS HEAD FIRST DIVE . AND IT DIDNT LOOK THAT BAD.I KEPT WAITING FOR HIM TO SURFACE . AFTER ABOUT 30 SECONDS . I REALIZED HE WASNT COMING UP. I TRIED TO PULL MY ANCHOR BUT IT WAS STUCK. I ALMOST SANK MY BOAT TRYING TO HELP THIS GUY. BUT IT IS NOW OBVIOUS HE DIDNT WANT HELP. HE SOUNDED LIKE A BIRD. IT WASNT A SCREAM OF "IVE DONE IT". IT WAS MORE LIKE WHAT THE #### HAVE I DONE. SO AFTER ABOUT 30 MORE SECONDS I TOLD CODY TO CUT THE LINE. HE HIT THE WATER ABOUT 20 YARDS FROM MY BOAT . IRONICLY I HAD 1 SHRIMP LEFT AND WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE. AS WE GOT TO WHERE HE WENT IN MY BUDDYS LIKE THERE HE IS. ABOUT 10 FEET BEHIND THE BOAT . I SLAMMED IT INTO REVERSE. STALLED THE ENGINE . AND THE LADY AT THE TOP OF THE BRIDGE WAS SCREMING DOWN AT US . LIKE I WAS AN IDIOT . I WANTED TO TELL HER TO JUMP IN IF SHE WANTED TO HELP. WHEN WE GOT TO HIM IT WAS ABOUT 3 MINUTES TOTAL . HE WAS FACE DOWN. IT TOOK ALL THREE OF US TO GET HIM IN THE BOAT. HE FELT LIKE HE WEIGHED 300LBS . BUT HE WAS ABOUT 180. HE HAD A PERFECT BLACK CIRCLE ON TOP OF HIS HEAD . AGAIN IT DIDNT LOOK THAT BAD. WHEN WE GOT HIM ABOARD HE KINDA MOVED A LITTLE BIT. SO I THOUGHT I COULD SAVE HIM . HE HAD FOAM COMING OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND NOSE . BUT I ATTEMPTED CPR ANYWAY . IT WAS ABSOLUTLEY THE NASTIEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE . IF YOU HAVE NEVER TRIED TO PERFORM CPR ON SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY NEEDS IT. ILL TRY AND EXPLAIN . WHEN I BLEW IN HIS MOUTH HIS CHEEKS BLEW OUT THEN HIS CHEST BLEW UP EASIER THAN YOU COULD IMAGINE. AGAIN I KEPT THINKING HE WAS GONNA BE OK, MY BUDDY WAS ON THE PHONE WITH 911 WHILE I WAS TRYING TO REVIVE HIM. BY THE WAY HE THREWUP IN MY MOUTH IN BETWEEN BREATHS. IT WAS ALL I COULD DO TO KEEP GOING . THEY WANTED US TO GO TO ONIELS. BUT THERES A LITTLE PIECE OF SHORE RIGHT BEFORE THE FISHING PIER SO I RAN MY BOAT AGROUND . WE CARRIED HIM UP TO THE SHORE SO THE PARAMEDICS COULD WORK ON HIM. THEY PERFORMED CPR FOR ABOUT 2 MINUTES. SHOCKED HIM. THEN INJECTED HIM WITH SOME KINDA EFENEROL OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT .THEY PRONOUNCED HIM DEAD . COVERED HIM WITH A YELLOW SHEET AND THAT WAS THAT. WE HAD TO WAIT ABOUT 3 HOURS WAITING FOR A HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY DETECTIVE. WICH WAS RIDICULOUS. I DO NOT KNOW WHY GOD PICKED ME TO GO THRU THIS BUT HE DID. I WILL NEVER FORGET IT.I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU GET OUT OF THIS WEBSITE, BUT TO EACH HIS OWN. IF YOU EVER HAD THIS HAPPEN TO YOU . I BELIEVE YOU WOULD LOOK AT IT DIFFERENTLY. I AM A PRETTY TOUGH GUY AND IT IS REALLY BOTHERING ME . WHAT IF I HAD CUT MY ANCHOR SOONER. WHAT IF MY MOTOR HAD NOT OF DIED WITHIN 10 FEET OF HIM. HOWEVER I DO TAKE SOLACE IN KNOWING HE DIDNT DROWN. THAT BLACK CIRCLE (at this point, our news input form was full. geoff returned the next day and continues) ON TOP OF HIS HEAD. AFTER THEY REMOVED THE PLASTIC SHEET , TO TAKE HIS BODY AWAY. WAS ACCTUALLY A RUT IN THE TOP OF HIS HEAD . WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM CHEST COMPRESSIONS I COULD FEEL THE BOTTOM 2 OR THE RIBS MOVING SO I HAD TO GO HIGHER UP. NOT ONLY DID HE TAKE HIS LIFE THAT DAY . HE IMPACTED MINE FOREVER . THANK GOD THE ONLY TIME I HAVENT TAKEN MY 4 YR OLD SON WITH ME FISHING WAS THAT TRAGIC DAY. I DONT KNOW HOW I WOULD EXPLAIN IT. OR IF I EVEN WOULD . MABE LIKE THE FISH WE CATCH. HE JUST GOT DEAD.IN HINDSIGHT I COMMEND YOUR WEBSITE. IT HAS REALLY OPENED MY EYES TO THIS SORT OF THING. IN A VERY MACABE WAY IT IS INTERESTING. SAD BUT INTERESTING . THE POLICE TOLD ME THE NEXT FEW WEEKS WOULD BE WORSE. I HAVE LOOKED UP EVERYTHING SKYWAY RELATED ON THE INTERNET AND THIS SIGHT IS ABSOLUTLEY THE BEST. THANX FOR LETTING ME VENT . P.S. IF YOU ARE GOING FISHING AT THE SKYWAY IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. DONT STAY OUTTA THE CHANNEL CAUSE THE COASTGAURD TELLS YOU TO. YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!
Some more info on water impact,

Suicide by bridge is gruesome, and death is almost certain. People have survived the fall, but not many. You might survive if you hit the water feet first and come in at a slight angle.The impact is tremendous. The body goes from roughly 75 to 80 mph to nearly zero in a nanosecond. The physics of inertia being what they are, internal organs tend to keep going. The force of impact causes them to tear loose. Autopsy reports typically indicate that the jumpers have lacerated aortas, livers, spleens and hearts. Ribs are often broken, and the impact shoves them into the heart or lungs. Jumpers have broken sternums, clavicles, pelvises and necks. Skull fractures are common.

Which means you die one of two ways, or a combination of both. One, you hit the water and the impact kills you. Sometimes the jumper is knocked unconscious. Other times, the jumper survives for a time. The person can be seen flailing about in the water, trying to stay afloat, only to succumb to the extensive internal bleeding. Death can take seconds or minutes. Two, you drown. You hit the water going fast, and your body plunges in deep. Conscious or otherwise, you breathe in saltwater and asphyxiate. You can usually tell which bridge jumpers drowned. Frothy mucus bubbles from the nose.

"Some people seem to think that jumping off the bridge is a light, airy way to end your life, like going to join the angels," said Marin County Coroner Ken Holmes, talking in the reception area of the coroner's office in San Rafael. "I'd like to dispel that myth. When you jump off the bridge, you hit the water hard. It's not a pretty death."

"Multiple blunt-force trauma." In other words, you die the same way as someone hit by a car.
to potential jumpers:we feel suicidal people need to know you bring pain and shame to yourself, your friends, and your family. it's not a free pass to end your misery. it's simply a way to transfer your hurt and sorrow to those that know and love you.

according to the st. petersburg times: "anyone who jumps from a point close to the center of the bridge, hits the water in about 3.5 seconds at about 75 mph. the impact usually breaks bones and ruptures organs. some live for minutes before they drown".

from a 05.09.99 article: Corporal Gary Schluter of the Florida State Highway Patrol - who has "seen the number of suicides, and attempts, climb steadily over the last few years" at the Sunshine Skyway Bridge, as well as persuaded multiple would-be suicides at that site to live - advises: "People look at that water and think it's very serene, an easy way to die." But "it's more like hitting concrete." As he and other troopers explained to The New York Times reporter Rick Bragg, "Jumpers tend to die ugly. [...] The fall, less than four seconds, ends in a bone-snapping, organ-rupturing trauma, but some jumpers do not lose consciousness, and drown in agony." Schluter elaborated: "We retrieve the bodies. They are distorted, mangled."

know this: chances are very good that you won't die immediately when you hit the water. it will hurt like all hell. your broken body will struggle to stay afloat. intense pain for who knows how long before you finally succumb to a horrid drowning death. maybe you will survive after all, now with life long debilitating injuries and additional mental anguish.
 
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Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.

Someone should live and suffer because their family will miss them?

Depressio is not always a mental disorder. In dire life circumstances it is completely normal to feel sad. Sometimes there really is no way out and it is Instinctual to end the suffering.

The depressed are not different from the "normal" people. Under the right circumstances even they will crumble. Its easy to judge when life deals you a better hand and you know nothing of the other side
This is the great debate. If the person is alone and no one has shown any care for them then I can see it not being selfish. I'm having this convo with my bro now who had a friend of 22 years kill himself back in Oct. He'd battled major depression for years and was also an alcoholic. Dual diagnosis of the worst kind. His mom had died of cancer a year before. He was very close to his mom and lived with her. He was in and out of treatment and psych wards. Bro and one other friend were the only ones left in his life that he pushed away, but bro always caring told the neighbors if they saw anything odd to call him and the authorities. He visited his friend but the door would only open every couple of months. After a month of mail piling up excessively and no sign of the guy, cops were called and his body was found. He od'd on the 1 year anniversary of his mom's death.

In this case, I can see it not being selfish. Yes bro and his friend are very sad and wonder how else they could have helped. The odd thing to this is it turns out the night before he od'd, he called my bro and the other friend to report how well he was doing, he's at peace, etc. Bro and his friend (who is a psychiatrist) could not tell that this was really a goodbye call.

Bro was named the executor of the estate and it has been very painful in dealing with his friend of 22 years belongings. At least the friend is at peace now. He was 56 and the most alone person I've known.

 
In response to Quez

Thats someones job to remove bodies. They werent forced in to their profession

BTW does anyone know how tp quote a post on mobile? I cant figure it out

 
Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.

Someone should live and suffer because their family will miss them?

Depressio is not always a mental disorder. In dire life circumstances it is completely normal to feel sad. Sometimes there really is no way out and it is Instinctual to end the suffering.

The depressed are not different from the "normal" people. Under the right circumstances even they will crumble. Its easy to judge when life deals you a better hand and you know nothing of the other side
This is the great debate. If the person is alone and no one has shown any care for them then I can see it not being selfish. I'm having this convo with my bro now who had a friend of 22 years kill himself back in Oct. He'd battled major depression for years and was also an alcoholic. Dual diagnosis of the worst kind. His mom had died of cancer a year before. He was very close to his mom and lived with her. He was in and out of treatment and psych wards. Bro and one other friend were the only ones left in his life that he pushed away, but bro always caring told the neighbors if they saw anything odd to call him and the authorities. He visited his friend but the door would only open every couple of months. After a month of mail piling up excessively and no sign of the guy, cops were called and his body was found. He od'd on the 1 year anniversary of his mom's death.In this case, I can see it not being selfish. Yes bro and his friend are very sad and wonder how else they could have helped. The odd thing to this is it turns out the night before he od'd, he called my bro and the other friend to report how well he was doing, he's at peace, etc. Bro and his friend (who is a psychiatrist) could not tell that this was really a goodbye call.

Bro was named the executor of the estate and it has been very painful in dealing with his friend of 22 years belongings. At least the friend is at peace now. He was 56 and the most alone person I've known.
I went through similiar with my family. They never helped me and did nothing but blame me for not being able to pull myself out. Didnt speak to either of my parents for over 8 years til recentlyI meant similiar in regards to the first part about having nobody.....not the rest

 
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The mother of my sister's step-son killed herself this year. It's unbelievable the mess it leave behind. I don't think people realize that no matter how bad it is for you, those you love are going to live with your problems AND the pain of losing you. She absolutely devistated this kid, and he didn't need any help in that department. So if you are thinking about doing this, just go talk to someone, because the world is not better off without you.

 
Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.

Someone should live and suffer because their family will miss them?

Depressio is not always a mental disorder. In dire life circumstances it is completely normal to feel sad. Sometimes there really is no way out and it is Instinctual to end the suffering.

The depressed are not different from the "normal" people. Under the right circumstances even they will crumble. Its easy to judge when life deals you a better hand and you know nothing of the other side
This is the great debate. If the person is alone and no one has shown any care for them then I can see it not being selfish. I'm having this convo with my bro now who had a friend of 22 years kill himself back in Oct. He'd battled major depression for years and was also an alcoholic. Dual diagnosis of the worst kind. His mom had died of cancer a year before. He was very close to his mom and lived with her. He was in and out of treatment and psych wards. Bro and one other friend were the only ones left in his life that he pushed away, but bro always caring told the neighbors if they saw anything odd to call him and the authorities. He visited his friend but the door would only open every couple of months. After a month of mail piling up excessively and no sign of the guy, cops were called and his body was found. He od'd on the 1 year anniversary of his mom's death.In this case, I can see it not being selfish. Yes bro and his friend are very sad and wonder how else they could have helped. The odd thing to this is it turns out the night before he od'd, he called my bro and the other friend to report how well he was doing, he's at peace, etc. Bro and his friend (who is a psychiatrist) could not tell that this was really a goodbye call.

Bro was named the executor of the estate and it has been very painful in dealing with his friend of 22 years belongings. At least the friend is at peace now. He was 56 and the most alone person I've known.
I went through similiar with my family. They never helped me and did nothing but blame me for not being able to pull myself out. Didnt speak to either of my parents for over 8 years til recently
Sadly that is the case. Family and friends who don't really know just chalk it off to pull yourself out of it. They think it's the same thing everyone goes through every day. They don't understand is what it boils down to, which is important for those suffering and have supportive family to get them educated. I mentioned the NAMI organization above which also has groups for friends/family involved. If that is not happening then you need to find a group yourself of like people for support, and forget about relying on your family for support. Just participate in the family functions but let go of trying to convince them. If they don't want to get it, it's not worth the pains to keep :wall: with them. I'm glad you are back to speaking terms. By cutting them off you were isolating yourself even further, further fueling your fire. Good to keep everyone that adds any quality to your life, and that goes for everyone, not just those suffering.

 
i've considered it due to financial problems.

being broke and alone ... sucks.
Brings back bad memories of when I was 19.. :(

I had gotten fired from my job( my own fault as I choose drinking/partying over working).. After a month and a half and no new job I started sleeping on the floor of the bedroom at my friends house( lost my apartment of course), my car was a POS and needed a lot of work, and had no girlfriend..

Seemed no matter what I did I couldn't dig myself out of the hole I had dug myself into.

So I started thinking about ending it, and even had the idea "drawn" up in my head of taking my POS car to the top of the nearest ski resort, head down hill and drive over the side..

Then, out of the blue, a girl who I had been friends with for 3 years, just friends never went further, called me. We hadn't talked to each other for over 3 months so it was pretty eerie that she'd call me when things were the darkest...

She was the only person in the world at the time I could talk to and not worry about being judged. So I spilled my guts out to her telling her how "dark" I had become and how timely her phone call was. We talked for about 3 hours and by the time I got off the phone I had a new plan.

I called my sister in Wisconsin and explained my situation. She told me that her and her boyfriend could put me up and help me find a job. So I packed up what little things I had and moved in. Within a month I had 2 jobs, then met my wife, started college and the rest, as they say, is history..

To this day I look back at that period of my life realize how close I became to leaving the world and realize how much talking to someone made all the difference in the world.
Did you stay in touch with "Out Of The Blue?"

 
The mother of my sister's step-son killed herself this year. It's unbelievable the mess it leave behind. I don't think people realize that no matter how bad it is for you, those you love are going to live with your problems AND the pain of losing you. She absolutely devistated this kid, and he didn't need any help in that department. So if you are thinking about doing this, just go talk to someone, because the world is not better off without you.
What about when talking and pills dont help for years? What about when you have nobody? What about problems you are born with that you cannot fix and you just dont belong on earth?

At some point shouldnt people be allowed to at least die without having to feel guilty about it on top of all the other pain?

Seems to me the ones guilting the downtrodden are the more selfish ones

 
Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.

Someone should live and suffer because their family will miss them?

Depressio is not always a mental disorder. In dire life circumstances it is completely normal to feel sad. Sometimes there really is no way out and it is Instinctual to end the suffering.

The depressed are not different from the "normal" people. Under the right circumstances even they will crumble. Its easy to judge when life deals you a better hand and you know nothing of the other side
i vehemently disagree with this.

 
Not sure if anybody noticed I was gone since the beginning of December.

It was because of this very topic. My 2nd attempt in 4 years. I was isolating myself, was overwhelmed with stress at work and never dealt with my sister's death a couple of months ago. Took a lot of Tylenol. Not a way to die. Very ugly and painful.

Ended up in the Hospital for 7 days, then in the pysch ward for another 7 days. Where, after many long talks, a great doctor diagnosed me with Bi-Polar and got me on Lithium, which has been great. Really has stabilized me.

And the last couple of weeks, I have been in a partial hospitalization group therapy (6 Hours a day Monday-Saturday). It has been pretty helpful. I am now moving to a less intensive therapy (3 hours for Mon-Thurs) starting tomorrow

I can never undo the pain I have caused my family and friends. My kids are talking to me at least, but I know they are still pissed at me. I have a lot of work to repair that relationship.

And I have a lot of sh** I need to do to fix my own life. Lot of the stuff I need to do is pretty effen scary, but I feel hope. It can work.

I have been trying to avoid my various sites because I need to work on my real life relationships and not be so much online. But for some reason I logged on here and saw the thread. So I told my story. I will disappear again for a while, but will be back for the 2014 Summer T-Shirt exchange if not sooner.

I will check PM's every other day in case somebody wants to talk about depression, Mental Illness or Suicide. I have been there and it is not worth it

And Curlynight, thanks for the link, I will check it out

Take care all
sorry to hear man. Glad to hear it's getting better. FWIW you have always been one of my favorite posters here, so you can add that to list of reasons to live...

Thanks for sharing.

 
The mother of my sister's step-son killed herself this year. It's unbelievable the mess it leave behind. I don't think people realize that no matter how bad it is for you, those you love are going to live with your problems AND the pain of losing you. She absolutely devistated this kid, and he didn't need any help in that department. So if you are thinking about doing this, just go talk to someone, because the world is not better off without you.
What about when talking and pills dont help for years? What about when you have nobody? What about problems you are born with that you cannot fix and you just dont belong on earth?

At some point shouldnt people be allowed to at least die without having to feel guilty about it on top of all the other pain?

Seems to me the ones guilting the downtrodden are the more selfish ones
Fine, it get your point. I still think it's crap, but I get it. Can you stop playing devil's advocate in a "don't kill yourself" thread? Maybe go kick a puppy or something?

 
Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.

Someone should live and suffer because their family will miss them?

Depressio is not always a mental disorder. In dire life circumstances it is completely normal to feel sad. Sometimes there really is no way out and it is Instinctual to end the suffering.

The depressed are not different from the "normal" people. Under the right circumstances even they will crumble. Its easy to judge when life deals you a better hand and you know nothing of the other side
This is the great debate. If the person is alone and no one has shown any care for them then I can see it not being selfish. I'm having this convo with my bro now who had a friend of 22 years kill himself back in Oct. He'd battled major depression for years and was also an alcoholic. Dual diagnosis of the worst kind. His mom had died of cancer a year before. He was very close to his mom and lived with her. He was in and out of treatment and psych wards. Bro and one other friend were the only ones left in his life that he pushed away, but bro always caring told the neighbors if they saw anything odd to call him and the authorities. He visited his friend but the door would only open every couple of months. After a month of mail piling up excessively and no sign of the guy, cops were called and his body was found. He od'd on the 1 year anniversary of his mom's death.In this case, I can see it not being selfish. Yes bro and his friend are very sad and wonder how else they could have helped. The odd thing to this is it turns out the night before he od'd, he called my bro and the other friend to report how well he was doing, he's at peace, etc. Bro and his friend (who is a psychiatrist) could not tell that this was really a goodbye call.

Bro was named the executor of the estate and it has been very painful in dealing with his friend of 22 years belongings. At least the friend is at peace now. He was 56 and the most alone person I've known.
I went through similiar with my family. They never helped me and did nothing but blame me for not being able to pull myself out. Didnt speak to either of my parents for over 8 years til recently
Sadly that is the case. Family and friends who don't really know just chalk it off to pull yourself out of it. They think it's the same thing everyone goes through every day. They don't understand is what it boils down to, which is important for those suffering and have supportive family to get them educated. I mentioned the NAMI organization above which also has groups for friends/family involved. If that is not happening then you need to find a group yourself of like people for support, and forget about relying on your family for support. Just participate in the family functions but let go of trying to convince them. If they don't want to get it, it's not worth the pains to keep :wall: with them. I'm glad you are back to speaking terms. By cutting them off you were isolating yourself even further, further fueling your fire. Good to keep everyone that adds any quality to your life, and that goes for everyone, not just those suffering.
I tried to find support outside my family in the past but I just had to accept that there was no way me and others could relate toIm lucky now for 2 reasons. I met a woman whos problems are in many ways worse than mine and it feels good to be her rock and I found a band that is stable after a dozen years of failed projects

Now I have a sense of purpose and im currently training for my CDL and ive been on an even keel for about 6 months

I had to cut my parents off because they treat me terribly

 
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The mother of my sister's step-son killed herself this year. It's unbelievable the mess it leave behind. I don't think people realize that no matter how bad it is for you, those you love are going to live with your problems AND the pain of losing you. She absolutely devistated this kid, and he didn't need any help in that department. So if you are thinking about doing this, just go talk to someone, because the world is not better off without you.
What about when talking and pills dont help for years? What about when you have nobody? What about problems you are born with that you cannot fix and you just dont belong on earth?

At some point shouldnt people be allowed to at least die without having to feel guilty about it on top of all the other pain?

Seems to me the ones guilting the downtrodden are the more selfish ones
You can have somebody (s). Joining a group with people who are in the same boat as yourself, you make friends. You can search in your local area for a group that fits your needs if you don't want to go to an organization. No one has to be alone.

 
The mother of my sister's step-son killed herself this year. It's unbelievable the mess it leave behind. I don't think people realize that no matter how bad it is for you, those you love are going to live with your problems AND the pain of losing you. She absolutely devistated this kid, and he didn't need any help in that department. So if you are thinking about doing this, just go talk to someone, because the world is not better off without you.
What about when talking and pills dont help for years? What about when you have nobody? What about problems you are born with that you cannot fix and you just dont belong on earth?At some point shouldnt people be allowed to at least die without having to feel guilty about it on top of all the other pain?

Seems to me the ones guilting the downtrodden are the more selfish ones
Fine, it get your point. I still think it's crap, but I get it. Can you stop playing devil's advocate in a "don't kill yourself" thread? Maybe go kick a puppy or something?
No.....I adore animals

The only thing im advocating is that everyone has a right to choose their own fate. Its nobodies place to judge however unsavory it seems to them

 
Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.

Someone should live and suffer because their family will miss them?

Depressio is not always a mental disorder. In dire life circumstances it is completely normal to feel sad. Sometimes there really is no way out and it is Instinctual to end the suffering.

The depressed are not different from the "normal" people. Under the right circumstances even they will crumble. Its easy to judge when life deals you a better hand and you know nothing of the other side
This is the great debate. If the person is alone and no one has shown any care for them then I can see it not being selfish. I'm having this convo with my bro now who had a friend of 22 years kill himself back in Oct. He'd battled major depression for years and was also an alcoholic. Dual diagnosis of the worst kind. His mom had died of cancer a year before. He was very close to his mom and lived with her. He was in and out of treatment and psych wards. Bro and one other friend were the only ones left in his life that he pushed away, but bro always caring told the neighbors if they saw anything odd to call him and the authorities. He visited his friend but the door would only open every couple of months. After a month of mail piling up excessively and no sign of the guy, cops were called and his body was found. He od'd on the 1 year anniversary of his mom's death.In this case, I can see it not being selfish. Yes bro and his friend are very sad and wonder how else they could have helped. The odd thing to this is it turns out the night before he od'd, he called my bro and the other friend to report how well he was doing, he's at peace, etc. Bro and his friend (who is a psychiatrist) could not tell that this was really a goodbye call.

Bro was named the executor of the estate and it has been very painful in dealing with his friend of 22 years belongings. At least the friend is at peace now. He was 56 and the most alone person I've known.
I went through similiar with my family. They never helped me and did nothing but blame me for not being able to pull myself out. Didnt speak to either of my parents for over 8 years til recently
Sadly that is the case. Family and friends who don't really know just chalk it off to pull yourself out of it. They think it's the same thing everyone goes through every day. They don't understand is what it boils down to, which is important for those suffering and have supportive family to get them educated. I mentioned the NAMI organization above which also has groups for friends/family involved. If that is not happening then you need to find a group yourself of like people for support, and forget about relying on your family for support. Just participate in the family functions but let go of trying to convince them. If they don't want to get it, it's not worth the pains to keep :wall: with them. I'm glad you are back to speaking terms. By cutting them off you were isolating yourself even further, further fueling your fire. Good to keep everyone that adds any quality to your life, and that goes for everyone, not just those suffering.
I tried to find support outside my family in the past but I just had to accept that there was no way me and others could relate toIm lucky now for 2 reasons. I met a woman whos problems are in many ways worse than mine and it feels good to be her rock and I found a band that is stable after a dozen years of failed projects

Now I have a sense of purpose and im currently training for my CDL and ive been on an even keel for about 6 months

I had to cut my parents off because they treat me terribly
You posted this while I was posting my comment.. :D Glad to hear things have turned around for you. Keep the faith no matter what comes next, things to get better as you have seen.

 
i've considered it due to financial problems.

being broke and alone ... sucks.
Brings back bad memories of when I was 19.. :(

I had gotten fired from my job( my own fault as I choose drinking/partying over working).. After a month and a half and no new job I started sleeping on the floor of the bedroom at my friends house( lost my apartment of course), my car was a POS and needed a lot of work, and had no girlfriend..

Seemed no matter what I did I couldn't dig myself out of the hole I had dug myself into.

So I started thinking about ending it, and even had the idea "drawn" up in my head of taking my POS car to the top of the nearest ski resort, head down hill and drive over the side..

Then, out of the blue, a girl who I had been friends with for 3 years, just friends never went further, called me. We hadn't talked to each other for over 3 months so it was pretty eerie that she'd call me when things were the darkest...

She was the only person in the world at the time I could talk to and not worry about being judged. So I spilled my guts out to her telling her how "dark" I had become and how timely her phone call was. We talked for about 3 hours and by the time I got off the phone I had a new plan.

I called my sister in Wisconsin and explained my situation. She told me that her and her boyfriend could put me up and help me find a job. So I packed up what little things I had and moved in. Within a month I had 2 jobs, then met my wife, started college and the rest, as they say, is history..

To this day I look back at that period of my life realize how close I became to leaving the world and realize how much talking to someone made all the difference in the world.
Did you stay in touch with "Out Of The Blue?"
For a few years we stayed in touch.. In 1992 or so, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma and I haven't talked to her since 1993..

My wife( whom I married in 1991) never understood the relationship I had with the "other woman" in that it was never sexually, and was purely a friend who happened to be a girl.

My wife is the person I know I can trust and confide in now, but the other girl will always be a friend that I will never forget. :thumbup:

 
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The mother of my sister's step-son killed herself this year. It's unbelievable the mess it leave behind. I don't think people realize that no matter how bad it is for you, those you love are going to live with your problems AND the pain of losing you. She absolutely devistated this kid, and he didn't need any help in that department. So if you are thinking about doing this, just go talk to someone, because the world is not better off without you.
What about when talking and pills dont help for years? What about when you have nobody? What about problems you are born with that you cannot fix and you just dont belong on earth?At some point shouldnt people be allowed to at least die without having to feel guilty about it on top of all the other pain?

Seems to me the ones guilting the downtrodden are the more selfish ones
Fine, it get your point. I still think it's crap, but I get it. Can you stop playing devil's advocate in a "don't kill yourself" thread? Maybe go kick a puppy or something?
No.....I adore animals

The only thing im advocating is that everyone has a right to choose their own fate. Its nobodies place to judge however unsavory it seems to them
As someone living on the earth with that person and who may have to clean up after them, yes, I certainly can judge them.

 
Suicide is not selfish unless you have children who are dependent on you for survival.

Someone should live and suffer because their family will miss them?

Depressio is not always a mental disorder. In dire life circumstances it is completely normal to feel sad. Sometimes there really is no way out and it is Instinctual to end the suffering.

The depressed are not different from the "normal" people. Under the right circumstances even they will crumble. Its easy to judge when life deals you a better hand and you know nothing of the other side
This is the great debate. If the person is alone and no one has shown any care for them then I can see it not being selfish. I'm having this convo with my bro now who had a friend of 22 years kill himself back in Oct. He'd battled major depression for years and was also an alcoholic. Dual diagnosis of the worst kind. His mom had died of cancer a year before. He was very close to his mom and lived with her. He was in and out of treatment and psych wards. Bro and one other friend were the only ones left in his life that he pushed away, but bro always caring told the neighbors if they saw anything odd to call him and the authorities. He visited his friend but the door would only open every couple of months. After a month of mail piling up excessively and no sign of the guy, cops were called and his body was found. He od'd on the 1 year anniversary of his mom's death.In this case, I can see it not being selfish. Yes bro and his friend are very sad and wonder how else they could have helped. The odd thing to this is it turns out the night before he od'd, he called my bro and the other friend to report how well he was doing, he's at peace, etc. Bro and his friend (who is a psychiatrist) could not tell that this was really a goodbye call.

Bro was named the executor of the estate and it has been very painful in dealing with his friend of 22 years belongings. At least the friend is at peace now. He was 56 and the most alone person I've known.
I went through similiar with my family. They never helped me and did nothing but blame me for not being able to pull myself out. Didnt speak to either of my parents for over 8 years til recently
Sadly that is the case. Family and friends who don't really know just chalk it off to pull yourself out of it. They think it's the same thing everyone goes through every day. They don't understand is what it boils down to, which is important for those suffering and have supportive family to get them educated. I mentioned the NAMI organization above which also has groups for friends/family involved. If that is not happening then you need to find a group yourself of like people for support, and forget about relying on your family for support. Just participate in the family functions but let go of trying to convince them. If they don't want to get it, it's not worth the pains to keep :wall: with them. I'm glad you are back to speaking terms. By cutting them off you were isolating yourself even further, further fueling your fire. Good to keep everyone that adds any quality to your life, and that goes for everyone, not just those suffering.
I tried to find support outside my family in the past but I just had to accept that there was no way me and others could relate toIm lucky now for 2 reasons. I met a woman whos problems are in many ways worse than mine and it feels good to be her rock and I found a band that is stable after a dozen years of failed projects

Now I have a sense of purpose and im currently training for my CDL and ive been on an even keel for about 6 months

I had to cut my parents off because they treat me terribly
You posted this while I was posting my comment.. :D Glad to hear things have turned around for you. Keep the faith no matter what comes next, things to get better as you have seen.
Ty. Things finally do feel that way now after 15 years

 
The mother of my sister's step-son killed herself this year. It's unbelievable the mess it leave behind. I don't think people realize that no matter how bad it is for you, those you love are going to live with your problems AND the pain of losing you. She absolutely devistated this kid, and he didn't need any help in that department. So if you are thinking about doing this, just go talk to someone, because the world is not better off without you.
What about when talking and pills dont help for years? What about when you have nobody? What about problems you are born with that you cannot fix and you just dont belong on earth?At some point shouldnt people be allowed to at least die without having to feel guilty about it on top of all the other pain?

Seems to me the ones guilting the downtrodden are the more selfish ones
Fine, it get your point. I still think it's crap, but I get it. Can you stop playing devil's advocate in a "don't kill yourself" thread? Maybe go kick a puppy or something?
No.....I adore animalsThe only thing im advocating is that everyone has a right to choose their own fate. Its nobodies place to judge however unsavory it seems to them
As someone living on the earth with that person and who may have to clean up after them, yes, I certainly can judge them.
Why would you have to clean up anything? They have coroners who do that whp chose their proffesion

I still dont understand the puppy kicking comment

You think people who kill themselves are selfish.....what if they lived and collected disability? Would you then complain that your tax money supports them?

 
I live on disability.

If I kill myself im selfish

If I live im a leech in most peoples eyes

Damned if I do and damned if I dont. A lot of people think others should live according to their terms

 
You can make yourself feel useful and worthy by sharing what you've learned from your downfall as badmojo has done for example. It's good therapy, especially if you are alone. There are many places online if you don't want to go out and meet people, where you can offer what you learned to possibly help someone. Feeling like you are important and therefore worthy is key to getting yourself back up.

 
You can make yourself feel useful and worthy by sharing what you've learned from your downfall as badmojo has done for example. It's good therapy, especially if you are alone. There are many places online if you don't want to go out and meet people, where you can offer what you learned to possibly help someone. Feeling like you are important and therefore worthy is key to getting yourself back up.
Are you speaking to me?
 
In response to Quez

Thats someones job to remove bodies. They werent forced in to their profession

BTW does anyone know how tp quote a post on mobile? I cant figure it out
Not if your the fisherman that is closest to the body. You end up having a life changing event that you will probably have nightmares about for the rest of your life. All because some selfish ##### couldn't deal with life.

 
The mother of my sister's step-son killed herself this year. It's unbelievable the mess it leave behind. I don't think people realize that no matter how bad it is for you, those you love are going to live with your problems AND the pain of losing you. She absolutely devistated this kid, and he didn't need any help in that department. So if you are thinking about doing this, just go talk to someone, because the world is not better off without you.
What about when talking and pills dont help for years? What about when you have nobody? What about problems you are born with that you cannot fix and you just dont belong on earth?At some point shouldnt people be allowed to at least die without having to feel guilty about it on top of all the other pain?

Seems to me the ones guilting the downtrodden are the more selfish ones
Fine, it get your point. I still think it's crap, but I get it. Can you stop playing devil's advocate in a "don't kill yourself" thread? Maybe go kick a puppy or something?
No.....I adore animalsThe only thing im advocating is that everyone has a right to choose their own fate. Its nobodies place to judge however unsavory it seems to them
As someone living on the earth with that person and who may have to clean up after them, yes, I certainly can judge them.
Why would you have to clean up anything? They have coroners who do that whp chose their proffesion

I still dont understand the puppy kicking comment

You think people who kill themselves are selfish.....what if they lived and collected disability? Would you then complain that your tax money supports them?
Coroners don't clean up jack. They remove the body, that's it. It's either the family or friend doing cleanup. Or you can pay many thousands to a cleanup company who specializes in this stuff.

 
i've considered it due to financial problems.

being broke and alone ... sucks.
Brings back bad memories of when I was 19.. :(

I had gotten fired from my job( my own fault as I choose drinking/partying over working).. After a month and a half and no new job I started sleeping on the floor of the bedroom at my friends house( lost my apartment of course), my car was a POS and needed a lot of work, and had no girlfriend..

Seemed no matter what I did I couldn't dig myself out of the hole I had dug myself into.

So I started thinking about ending it, and even had the idea "drawn" up in my head of taking my POS car to the top of the nearest ski resort, head down hill and drive over the side..

Then, out of the blue, a girl who I had been friends with for 3 years, just friends never went further, called me. We hadn't talked to each other for over 3 months so it was pretty eerie that she'd call me when things were the darkest...

She was the only person in the world at the time I could talk to and not worry about being judged. So I spilled my guts out to her telling her how "dark" I had become and how timely her phone call was. We talked for about 3 hours and by the time I got off the phone I had a new plan.

I called my sister in Wisconsin and explained my situation. She told me that her and her boyfriend could put me up and help me find a job. So I packed up what little things I had and moved in. Within a month I had 2 jobs, then met my wife, started college and the rest, as they say, is history..

To this day I look back at that period of my life realize how close I became to leaving the world and realize how much talking to someone made all the difference in the world.
Did you stay in touch with "Out Of The Blue?"
For a few years we stayed in touch.. In 1992 or so, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma and I haven't talked to her since 1993..

My wife( whom I married in 1991) never understood the relationship I had with the "other woman" in that it was never sexually, and was purely a friend who happened to be a girl.

My wife is the person I know I can trust and confide in now, but the other girl will always be a friend that I will never forget. :thumbup:
Sweet. My wife is indeed my bestest friend as well.

 
You can make yourself feel useful and worthy by sharing what you've learned from your downfall as badmojo has done for example. It's good therapy, especially if you are alone. There are many places online if you don't want to go out and meet people, where you can offer what you learned to possibly help someone. Feeling like you are important and therefore worthy is key to getting yourself back up.
Are you speaking to me?
To anyone who needs ideas on what to do when feeling so alone and unworthy.

 
I live on disability.

If I kill myself im selfish

If I live im a leech in most peoples eyes

Damned if I do and damned if I dont. A lot of people think others should live according to their terms
I'll judge you either way. However, we can work this out. Please don't do anything rash.

 
I saw this documentary on Vice about a suicide forest in Japan. People go there hang themselves, or just get lost and die. Some people leave a string behind to find their way out in case they change their mind. 50-100 people a year never return from this forest at the foot of Mt. Fuji.

 
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In response to Quez

Thats someones job to remove bodies. They werent forced in to their profession

BTW does anyone know how tp quote a post on mobile? I cant figure it out
Not if your the fisherman that is closest to the body. You end up having a life changing event that you will probably have nightmares about for the rest of your life. All because some selfish ##### couldn't deal with life.
That is absolutely ridiculous. Now people have to worry about their remains? How much more guilt must be piled on these peoples shoulders?

People have to clean up those who die of natural causes too. Hpw about some fat unhealthy slob.....is he selfish for eating cheeseburgers his entire life and someone has to see his bloated corpse when he has a heart attack?

There are many many people engaging in passive suicide

 
I live on disability.

If I kill myself im selfish

If I live im a leech in most peoples eyes

Damned if I do and damned if I dont. A lot of people think others should live according to their terms
I'll judge you either way. However, we can work this out. Please don't do anything rash.
If thats the kind of person you are I see no reason to continue this discussion. You are self absorbed and completely devoid of empathy

 
i've considered it due to financial problems.

being broke and alone ... sucks.
Brings back bad memories of when I was 19.. :(

I had gotten fired from my job( my own fault as I choose drinking/partying over working).. After a month and a half and no new job I started sleeping on the floor of the bedroom at my friends house( lost my apartment of course), my car was a POS and needed a lot of work, and had no girlfriend..

Seemed no matter what I did I couldn't dig myself out of the hole I had dug myself into.

So I started thinking about ending it, and even had the idea "drawn" up in my head of taking my POS car to the top of the nearest ski resort, head down hill and drive over the side..

Then, out of the blue, a girl who I had been friends with for 3 years, just friends never went further, called me. We hadn't talked to each other for over 3 months so it was pretty eerie that she'd call me when things were the darkest...

She was the only person in the world at the time I could talk to and not worry about being judged. So I spilled my guts out to her telling her how "dark" I had become and how timely her phone call was. We talked for about 3 hours and by the time I got off the phone I had a new plan.

I called my sister in Wisconsin and explained my situation. She told me that her and her boyfriend could put me up and help me find a job. So I packed up what little things I had and moved in. Within a month I had 2 jobs, then met my wife, started college and the rest, as they say, is history..

To this day I look back at that period of my life realize how close I became to leaving the world and realize how much talking to someone made all the difference in the world.
Did you stay in touch with "Out Of The Blue?"
For a few years we stayed in touch.. In 1992 or so, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma and I haven't talked to her since 1993..

My wife( whom I married in 1991) never understood the relationship I had with the "other woman" in that it was never sexually, and was purely a friend who happened to be a girl.

My wife is the person I know I can trust and confide in now, but the other girl will always be a friend that I will never forget. :thumbup:
Sweet. My wife is indeed my bestest friend as well.
:hifive: it is "cliche" but without my wife I wouldn't be where I am today.

Before I met her I was jumping form job to job and had no purpose in life other then to have money to drink and live off of.

I met her about 3 months after "the talk" and at that time I hadn't finished High School and had no ambition to do so..

She gave me a little push to go to the local college and see about getting my GED/Post High school diploma.

While there talking to the counselor he asked what my interests were.. When I mentioned computers he stated that they had a Computer/electronic Degree course that I could enroll in and get both an Associate's degree as well as my High School Diploma at the same time.

Was pretty cool to graduate College and High School on the same day :bowtie:

 
I live on disability.

If I kill myself im selfish

If I live im a leech in most peoples eyes

Damned if I do and damned if I dont. A lot of people think others should live according to their terms
I'll judge you either way. However, we can work this out. Please don't do anything rash.
If thats the kind of person you are I see no reason to continue this discussion. You are self absorbed and completely devoid of empathy
:goodposting:

Apes is like that. I firmly believe he's a Goggins alias.

 
In response to Quez

Thats someones job to remove bodies. They werent forced in to their profession

BTW does anyone know how tp quote a post on mobile? I cant figure it out
Not if your the fisherman that is closest to the body. You end up having a life changing event that you will probably have nightmares about for the rest of your life. All because some selfish ##### couldn't deal with life.
That is absolutely ridiculous. Now people have to worry about their remains? How much more guilt must be piled on these peoples shoulders?
All I am saying is that if you are going to kill yourself then disappear into a forest and never return like they do in Japan. Don't park your car at the top of one of the biggest bridges in the country, causing hours of traffic delay, and make someone scoop up your body.

 
In response to Quez

Thats someones job to remove bodies. They werent forced in to their profession

BTW does anyone know how tp quote a post on mobile? I cant figure it out
Not if your the fisherman that is closest to the body. You end up having a life changing event that you will probably have nightmares about for the rest of your life. All because some selfish ##### couldn't deal with life.
That is absolutely ridiculous. Now people have to worry about their remains? How much more guilt must be piled on these peoples shoulders?
All I am saying is that if you are going to kill yourself then disappear into a forest and never return like they do in Japan. Don't park your car at the top of one of the biggest bridges in the country, causing hours of traffic delay, and make someone scoop up your body.
I promise if that day comes ill jump in a volcano or something

 
I live on disability.

If I kill myself im selfish

If I live im a leech in most peoples eyes

Damned if I do and damned if I dont. A lot of people think others should live according to their terms
I'll judge you either way. However, we can work this out. Please don't do anything rash.
If thats the kind of person you are I see no reason to continue this discussion. You are self absorbed and completely devoid of empathy
:goodposting:

Apes is like that. I firmly believe he's a Goggins alias.
no he's not!

 
In response to Quez

Thats someones job to remove bodies. They werent forced in to their profession

BTW does anyone know how tp quote a post on mobile? I cant figure it out
Not if your the fisherman that is closest to the body. You end up having a life changing event that you will probably have nightmares about for the rest of your life. All because some selfish ##### couldn't deal with life.
That is absolutely ridiculous. Now people have to worry about their remains? How much more guilt must be piled on these peoples shoulders?
All I am saying is that if you are going to kill yourself then disappear into a forest and never return like they do in Japan. Don't park your car at the top of one of the biggest bridges in the country, causing hours of traffic delay, and make someone scoop up your body.
Wouldn't you think hikers would come across the body/remains at some point in the forest?? This is getting ridiculous. The person hurting so bad that is about to take his life to end the pain is going to think about his remains??? He may beforehand but in that moment I think it's safe to say he's not thinking about anything but the unbearable pain he is in and is going to end it now. Thousands of bodies are dealt with every day: murders, homocides, natural causes, etc which are found by innocent people every day. It's sad all around, death, no matter what the cause. If we can help one person at all to rethink their worth that alone should make you feel like an important person in this life of ours. We all are important and contribute something, however small or insignificant it may look to be. Let's focus on that rather than the bodies left behind and who will find them. We will all face having to identify a body or with a death of someone we know up close unfortunately. That's part of our life cycle which none of it we can control.

 

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