wikkidpissah
Footballguy
yeah, i only understand that when its in cells or something, where there aint no other way. that's a pain & drowning & lingering option
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Suicide (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter johnjohn
- Start date
Smack Tripper
Footballguy
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Kate Spade was bipolar and reportedly was having financial and marital problems. So sad how bad it was for her to leave a note to her 13 year old telling her it's not her fault.
Why hanging? Imo, because it's pretty quick with little room to fail, unlike pills and a gunshot to the head.
Hope all here who are suffering find a great psych and not to be ashamed if meds need to be tried. We take meds if we need them for physical ailments, no different for psych issues. Just remember, it can take a lot of tries to find the right med(s) and the right therapist and psychiatrist for you. Someone's credentials may be great, but if you don't feel comfy with them, time to change.
Best wishes to all. Xxx
SDJohnny
Footballguy
I hear you, feel the same way.Rattle and Hum said:Man, these celebrity suicide deaths are slowly killing me. I can feel it and don't even know why (other than the depression of course).
Hoping this public post is cathartic for me somehow. Hope all in this & depression thread are well.
jamny
Footballguy
My wife and I had a really definitive type of discussion on suicide tonight. It actually started at our local café and made its way home. It was a good one. She is where I was before I read things like here. Real stories. I don't even want to get into the conversations but thank you to the ffa for helping me try to understand.
Ron Swanson
Footballguy
jamny
Footballguy
It's not about understanding. I can't. To me, life is so precious. It is such an amazing thing. I feel sad for people that don't realize that.
Man In The Box
Footballguy
My father committed suicide 6 weeks ago. There. I said it. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. It’s reality. It happened.
My feelings are all over the place. I’m angry. I’m sad. I feel guilty. I’m numb. It’s all I think about. From the time I open my eyes, til the time I sleep. It haunts me. So many questions. Not many answers. What did I do? What could I have done?
My brother died a year ago. My father couldn’t handle it. We all knew it. He was the golden boy. I think he was the only person my father ever truly loved.
This cloud hangs over all of us now. Life is awkward and uncomfortable. Like a bad dream that you can’t wake up from. We all fake it. Fake laughs and fake smiles. Nothing is real. I wait for things to get better, or just get back to normal. But I know that’s not possible. This is the new normal. It’s dark and empty.
RIP Dad. I hope you're out of pain, even though we are all still immersed in it.
If you’re in this dark place, please reach out for help. Reach out to the one person you can trust. If you have no one you can trust, call the hotline. Call a therapist. Call someone. You’ll leave hell behind if you don’t.
My feelings are all over the place. I’m angry. I’m sad. I feel guilty. I’m numb. It’s all I think about. From the time I open my eyes, til the time I sleep. It haunts me. So many questions. Not many answers. What did I do? What could I have done?
My brother died a year ago. My father couldn’t handle it. We all knew it. He was the golden boy. I think he was the only person my father ever truly loved.
This cloud hangs over all of us now. Life is awkward and uncomfortable. Like a bad dream that you can’t wake up from. We all fake it. Fake laughs and fake smiles. Nothing is real. I wait for things to get better, or just get back to normal. But I know that’s not possible. This is the new normal. It’s dark and empty.
RIP Dad. I hope you're out of pain, even though we are all still immersed in it.
If you’re in this dark place, please reach out for help. Reach out to the one person you can trust. If you have no one you can trust, call the hotline. Call a therapist. Call someone. You’ll leave hell behind if you don’t.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
We can never know what is really going on with someone. Clinically depressed people feel alone and lonely, that no one understands or cares, even when they look happy surrounded by seemingly a loving family and friends. Having a kid didn't tip the scale the other way for him or Kate Spade. And add the pressures of fame makes it harder for celebs.
We'll never know why anyone ends it unless they write a note. Even then there will be more questions.
I'm watching Anthony Bourdain parts unknown marathon. In one the convo with another chef who loves cooking turns to dying and coming back. Bourdain said why would anyone want to die when life is this good. You risk coming back much worse off. Haunting. This epi was from 2017.
People at risk can go 0 to 100 quick with the right triggers. It's called mental illness because it is an illness with no real cure. Kind of like cancer, you do your treatments, change your lifestyle, find good support systems and you stand a chance of being ok for the rest of your life. But with mental illness, it's a serious daily effort.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
?
My deepest sympathies. Prayers to you and yours for strength. No one is to blame. May he rip. Xxx
jamny
Footballguy
Chaos Commish
Footballguy
That was something to read, brother. I'm sorry. Time does slowly heal even though the kind of scars you'll all have will always be there. They're alright. I'm very hesitant to post in this or the depression thread, but I'm glad you understand your dad was in pain and at least it's gone. Maybe that knowledge can work to reduce some of yours.
wikkidpissah
Footballguy
If i may be so bold, a fella from the same century as Jesus said something almost as important & worthy as the Christ ever did and we've spent two millenia largely ignoring it. Epictetus, Roman slave turned senator, said (paraphrased): "We have little to no control over what happens in life, what happens to us. We do, however, have utter & absolute control over how we feel about what happens in life, what happens to us."
Stop taking life personally. I know NO one with ultimate control over the conduct of their life, yet we ALL think we have or can have it. It doesn't have to matter where life comes from, the blessed instruments of an all-powerful God or chemicals floating around subterranean jets who decide to go organic, dood, and organize themselves into cells, fish, lizards, pigs, monkeys, us. No being has EVER had the chance to be wikkidfirkkinpissah on this particular day and no one ever will. Believe in the blessing of that.
If you can't believe in God, believe in beauty, believe in truth, believe in love (not passion, btw - there's a dif). There is for us each a beauty, truth or love only we can serve. Serve it. Don't master it, you stupid #### - that's not what it's there for. SERVE it - in your humility you'll find a mastery you can not know any other way.
STOP obsessing over strangers, no matter how much they impress you on your personal idiot boxes. Reach out to neighbors instead (even rubbing up against em on busses can be nice, if you dont get caught). Waste not your energy establishing your individuality, but spend it finding commonality with others. Forget control, appearance, extravagance, find beauty, truth, love. And don't bother me again. nufced
Stop taking life personally. I know NO one with ultimate control over the conduct of their life, yet we ALL think we have or can have it. It doesn't have to matter where life comes from, the blessed instruments of an all-powerful God or chemicals floating around subterranean jets who decide to go organic, dood, and organize themselves into cells, fish, lizards, pigs, monkeys, us. No being has EVER had the chance to be wikkidfirkkinpissah on this particular day and no one ever will. Believe in the blessing of that.
If you can't believe in God, believe in beauty, believe in truth, believe in love (not passion, btw - there's a dif). There is for us each a beauty, truth or love only we can serve. Serve it. Don't master it, you stupid #### - that's not what it's there for. SERVE it - in your humility you'll find a mastery you can not know any other way.
STOP obsessing over strangers, no matter how much they impress you on your personal idiot boxes. Reach out to neighbors instead (even rubbing up against em on busses can be nice, if you dont get caught). Waste not your energy establishing your individuality, but spend it finding commonality with others. Forget control, appearance, extravagance, find beauty, truth, love. And don't bother me again. nufced
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jvdesigns2002
Footballguy
Damn. My deepest condolences, thoughts and prayers to you and your entire family. The strength it must have taken to post that (including your train of thoughts and emotions) is beyond courageous. Regardless of what some think of this forum- there is lots of love and support here. If you ever need to tap into some of that--- you have all of us here and ready to listen.
Man In The Box
Footballguy
Thank you all for the kind words. ?
kutta
Footballguy
My dad killed himself when I was 15. All I can say is that things do get better. Remember the feelings you have now and when things are tough in your life, remember how many people rely on you and care about you.
The hardest feeling to overcome is the guilt, but it’s also the one that should be the easiest in a sense. There’s really nothing you could have done. He was a man with his own thoughts and demons, and you have yours and we all have ours. Just use this to try to drive you to be a better husband, father, brother, and friend.
I promise you, it will get better.
![[scooter]](/data/avatars/m/22/22287.jpg?1659477690){kind=avatar}
[scooter]
Footballguy
Man In The Box
Footballguy
belljr
Footballguy
My niece "allegedly" tried a couple weeks ago. So did her sister a while back.
I don't know if its hereditary or not, I don't know if they have an actual biological issue or not.
I DO feel that upbringing definitely has played a role in their actions, in my opinion.
I don't know if its hereditary or not, I don't know if they have an actual biological issue or not.
I DO feel that upbringing definitely has played a role in their actions, in my opinion.
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Joe Summer
Footballguy
Man In The Box -- very sorry for your losses. I'd like to say "it gets better", but I can't promise that it will. Hang in there.
Here's something I've been worried about. I wonder if the overflowing praise and hero worship we give to the people who've died can be troublesome when they've left people behind. Especially a child.
I worry about folks that are in the same situation as @Man In The Box who sadly can relate in a way that's much different than we can. I don't have an answer on how to handle it. But I fear it's something we as society aren't being sensitive to or careful enough with.
I asked @Man In The Box privately if that was something we could talk about here and he said he was good talking it. His voice is obviously most powerful here but I'd like input from everyone.
I worry about folks that are in the same situation as @Man In The Box who sadly can relate in a way that's much different than we can. I don't have an answer on how to handle it. But I fear it's something we as society aren't being sensitive to or careful enough with.
I asked @Man In The Box privately if that was something we could talk about here and he said he was good talking it. His voice is obviously most powerful here but I'd like input from everyone.
Of course...which is where the selfishness opinion comes from. When someone commits suicide, it leaves friends, family/spouses, etc with a range of emotions from guilt to anger to sadness. In the case of spouses, I think quite a few suicides are done in a "I'll show you" mentality. Look at the Kate Spade suicide and the note she left her kid. Yes, she was depressed and had some sort of mental illness but a big part of her suicide was out of spite against her husband who was about to divorce her. Not cool.
And regarding the "overflowing praise and hero worship", that's a common issue in society today. People feel like they really know these celebrities who past but the truth is they don't. They are just sad the talent is now gone.
Imo.
brettdj
Footballguy
I am in the same situation. My father did it at the end of March. My son(10) has had some of the worst of it. I get upset with him every time I hear about another one.
Jayrod
Footballguy
Popped in here...well....cause it has been a rough month and this topic has been often on my mind.
Enjoyed wikkid's message above (as usual).
Been hit with another round of depression over work and general life stress. Apparently this is where my mind goes now. Had to get back on the SSRI's 3 weeks ago. Have fleeting thoughts of "it sure would be easier if I didn't have to do any of this anymore," don't buckle my seatbelt, obsessed with reports on Spade and Bourdain, etc. Not making plans, not writing notes, but lingering thoughts that just won't disappear.
I'm one of those "everything looks great on the outside," types right now. My work stress isn't anything out of the ordinary. My home life stress is really pretty minor. I think just the combo of the two coupled leading to an inability to keep up with workouts and eating right as well my past depression made it really easy for me to slip back into a dark state.
I am fighting it (and winning), but there are still those dumb, lingering thoughts.
My advice is don't give up. Feed your mind with positive thoughts. Reach out to people you trust and ask for help. If you don't know anyone, call a hotline. People do care. At least reach out here.
Enjoyed wikkid's message above (as usual).
Been hit with another round of depression over work and general life stress. Apparently this is where my mind goes now. Had to get back on the SSRI's 3 weeks ago. Have fleeting thoughts of "it sure would be easier if I didn't have to do any of this anymore," don't buckle my seatbelt, obsessed with reports on Spade and Bourdain, etc. Not making plans, not writing notes, but lingering thoughts that just won't disappear.
I'm one of those "everything looks great on the outside," types right now. My work stress isn't anything out of the ordinary. My home life stress is really pretty minor. I think just the combo of the two coupled leading to an inability to keep up with workouts and eating right as well my past depression made it really easy for me to slip back into a dark state.
I am fighting it (and winning), but there are still those dumb, lingering thoughts.
My advice is don't give up. Feed your mind with positive thoughts. Reach out to people you trust and ask for help. If you don't know anyone, call a hotline. People do care. At least reach out here.
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
Joe, people that have survived suicide attempts talk about the enormous, devastating drive they felt to end their lives. They could not control their thoughts, and the urge to end it all was overpowering. I know we feel for the children of suicidal victims. But this isn't a choice. It's not selfishness.
With all due respect, not all suicides are the same....just like all murders are not the same. Some are simply rash, irresponsible decisions that are, unfortunately, irreversible. Think about a guy that just finds out his wife cheated on him. Or a person who just gambled away $100k in one night. Some people just make dumb decisions by committing suicide and it isn't always due to some long bout of depression.
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
I agree with this. Just another perspective, though: while human beings can sometimes act impulsively and without a lot of thought, I think the survival mechanism overrides that kind of impulse most of the time. It's one thing to gamble away your life savings. Death is far more final.
Rattle and Hum
Footballguy
I think it's deeper for us average folks that have severe depression and more specifically suicidal thoughts. The mind is already telling them they are worthless, can't cope, can't grow, are a burden, stink at life, am unworthy, what's the point, etc. It's all lies but they believe it as that's what the disease does.
Along comes a multi-millionaire singer/actor with looks, youth, young family, success, and tons of promise who commits suicide. This can very well become a trigger for the average Joe or Judy with suicidal thoughts. I believe it's because they see these folks with seemingly everything to live for committing suicide and think, "wow, if they have all of that and can't cope, how the heck can I make it? I give less to this world then that (star) and actually suck the life out of everything around me. Maybe I should just complete the inevitable."
Just my opinion as well and would love to here how others afflicted view this topic.
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
I read a good quote on this subject:
"Thinking about how we mourn artists we've never met. We don't cry because we knew them, we cry because they helped us know ourselves."
ElusiveJ
wikkidpissah
Footballguy
Good point.
Funny thing is that we usually have a clearer picture of what we want than who we even are. Therefore, when we try&try&try and so often fall short, it's pretty galling to see someone living the dream who doesn't appreciate it or squanders their chances. But when what we dream isn't even enough to keep a public person going, it challenges the inner faith & judgement upon which our dreams are based. And the winds of our personal weather start to gather and whip and howl until we are afraid of our own insides. Trust me - we are bigger than our personal weather. It is NOT who you are and will blow past. Hold on to something and let it howl on by. It always will.
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
prosopis
Arizona Chupacabra
I get it, literally. I dont think I have anything else to say that would help other then I really like your stuff. You affected me positively in the past. You dont know who I am or where I live but you did that and thats cool.
Thanks
prosopis
Arizona Chupacabra
I liked reading the words personal weather again!!!!!!
I have been suicidal in the past and pretty much a wreck. Today I am not. I am not sure how long I have felt good and more importantly realized its ok to feel good. I had lots of help to get to this point and lots of help to not just turn the lights out permanently. Today I made a point today of telling a friend how they very likely saved my life and how special that is and how very thankful I am for that.
I extend the same feelings to wikkidpissah. He has never met me. I dont really know why he reached out to me and did what he did. I will say those actions and help he gave me was critical to how I am now. I have some really cool kids who may go on to do great things. What if I did something horrible. What would that have done to them? Its quite possibly it is not just me that was saved but many more by wikkids actions.
Thank you wikkid.
wikkidpissah
Footballguy
It continues to be a pleasure & honor to know you, prosopissah, and teach a person who works in two help professions and is a father to boot how stay in front of his life, even that nasty ol' personal weather. Your special brand of goodness has taught me right back and i'm glad we found a way to keep it going on..prosopis said:
This is not an invitation for the others i've worked with to come out of the woodwork, but i'm glad it's out there that, if improvising ain't getting it done, there's a way to organize one's processes that keeps impulses from running the show. It's not easy, but it's simple & there for the asking to those FFAppers in trouble and those who don't wanna be.
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
Many restaurants are hosting charity benefits to raise money for suicide prevention in wake of Bourdain's death.
That's pretty cool.
That's pretty cool.
Judge Smails
Footballguy
Thought this was an interesting read today - gave me some perspective.
http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-schroeder-suicide-prevention-20180612-story.html
http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-schroeder-suicide-prevention-20180612-story.html
That's awesome. Thank you @prosopis for sharing and being strong and thank you @wikkidpissah for giving a damn.prosopis said:
On the note of personal weather, I came across this tool when reading more about the topic. https://get.theweatherreport.org/
It's a quick and easy way to let people know how you're doing and how they can help and give them guidance. Might be something we could do here if you guys wanted.
Might be worth it's own thread for keeping it organized.
It's a quick and easy way to let people know how you're doing and how they can help and give them guidance. Might be something we could do here if you guys wanted.
Might be worth it's own thread for keeping it organized.
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belljr
Footballguy
By Catherine Thorbecke
More than one-third of American adults may be using prescription medications that can potentially cause depression or increase the risk of suicide, according to a study published Tuesday in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
Some hormonal birth control pills, heart and blood pressure medications, proton-pump inhibitors, antacids and painkillers were among the more than 200 commonly used prescription drugs that researchers said have depression or suicide listed as a potential side effect.
The researchers, from the University of Illinois at Chicago, looked at how more than 26,000 people from 2005 to 2014 used medications.
Because of how widely used some of these medications are, doctors and health care providers may be unaware of any increased risk of depression or suicide, even though they are known side effects, the researchers said.
Approximately 15 percent of adults who used three or more of these medications at the same time said they experienced depression while taking the drugs, while only 5 percent said they experienced depression among those not using any of the drugs.
For those using one of the medications, 7 percent said they experienced depression, and for those taking two drugs simultaneously, 9 percent experienced depression.
Ketamine shows promise for fast-acting help with depression, suicidal thoughts: Study
"The takeaway message of this study is that polypharmacy [being on more than one drug at once] can lead to depressive symptoms and that patients and health care providers need to be aware of the risk of depression that comes with all kinds of common prescription drugs -- many of which are also available over the counter," Dima Qato, the study's lead author and an assistant professor of pharmacy systems, outcomes and policy at the University of Illinois Chicago College of Pharmacy, said in a statement.
"Many may be surprised to learn that their medications, despite having nothing to do with mood or anxiety or any other condition normally associated with depression, can increase their risk of experiencing depressive symptoms, and may lead to a depression diagnosis," she added.
With the national suicide rate increasing, Qato said, "We need to think innovatively about depression as a public health issue, and this study provides evidence that patterns of medication use should be considered in strategies that seek to eliminate, reduce or minimize the impact of depression in our daily lives."
The study is cross-sectional, meaning it doesn't conclude that the medications used cause depression, but only that there is an association between the two.
More than one-third of American adults may be using prescription medications that can potentially cause depression or increase the risk of suicide, according to a study published Tuesday in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
Some hormonal birth control pills, heart and blood pressure medications, proton-pump inhibitors, antacids and painkillers were among the more than 200 commonly used prescription drugs that researchers said have depression or suicide listed as a potential side effect.
The researchers, from the University of Illinois at Chicago, looked at how more than 26,000 people from 2005 to 2014 used medications.
Because of how widely used some of these medications are, doctors and health care providers may be unaware of any increased risk of depression or suicide, even though they are known side effects, the researchers said.
Approximately 15 percent of adults who used three or more of these medications at the same time said they experienced depression while taking the drugs, while only 5 percent said they experienced depression among those not using any of the drugs.
For those using one of the medications, 7 percent said they experienced depression, and for those taking two drugs simultaneously, 9 percent experienced depression.
Ketamine shows promise for fast-acting help with depression, suicidal thoughts: Study
"The takeaway message of this study is that polypharmacy [being on more than one drug at once] can lead to depressive symptoms and that patients and health care providers need to be aware of the risk of depression that comes with all kinds of common prescription drugs -- many of which are also available over the counter," Dima Qato, the study's lead author and an assistant professor of pharmacy systems, outcomes and policy at the University of Illinois Chicago College of Pharmacy, said in a statement.
"Many may be surprised to learn that their medications, despite having nothing to do with mood or anxiety or any other condition normally associated with depression, can increase their risk of experiencing depressive symptoms, and may lead to a depression diagnosis," she added.
With the national suicide rate increasing, Qato said, "We need to think innovatively about depression as a public health issue, and this study provides evidence that patterns of medication use should be considered in strategies that seek to eliminate, reduce or minimize the impact of depression in our daily lives."
The study is cross-sectional, meaning it doesn't conclude that the medications used cause depression, but only that there is an association between the two.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Even antidepressants and such meds can cause suicidal thoughts. Shows we are all different in how our body reacts to meds. One med I'm taking for cancer stuff has a small chance of causing cancer elsewhere. Go figure.
Rattle and Hum
Footballguy
I believe the price of ketamine to providers is less than $20 but each IV treatment costs an average of $500-$800 to receive. Like most newer medical treatments in US, the costs are high and insurance probably won't cover. At ten treatments within the first three months that's a pretty big nut to "try" something like this. Would appreciate hearing anyone's experience with it, though.belljr said:
Concept Coop
Footballguy
"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."Walking Boot said:
Max Power
Footballguy
I posted here a couple times when I was drinking and down on my luck. I worked a night shift that I'm sure contributes to the problem. I got overweight and started walking after dinner with the dogs. That was all it took to get me out of my funk. The exersice was good. Just running into random people helped. I dropped a few pounds and got to know some people in the neighborhood. I'm on a day shift now and have a normal schedule. People at work have commented on how happier I seem.
To those struggling... just take a small step today. Get outside your comfort zone if you have to. Your comfort zone could be contributing to the problem. I'm in no means above my problems, but I have seen that I'm the first step to making life better. No one else is going to do it for you.
God bless.
To those struggling... just take a small step today. Get outside your comfort zone if you have to. Your comfort zone could be contributing to the problem. I'm in no means above my problems, but I have seen that I'm the first step to making life better. No one else is going to do it for you.
God bless.
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
...and just because David Foster Wallace is awesome:
“What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?” And he’ll look stunned and say, “How did you know?” He doesn’t realize something’s always wrong, with everybody.
