"The Bachelor" on ABC (3 Viewers)

[Mr. Pickles]

God, Ames is awkward.

This gonna be great.

 

[Da Guru]

And I can't listen to Emily for longer than 12 seconds. If Wonderbread could talk, it would sound exactly like Emily. She'd be great....in silent porn.

I wanted to like that segment. I really did. Unfortunately, little Ricki has more backbone.

She didn't say what the "red flags" were. Was he boning hot locals while she and Ricki were packing for their move? Cuz that's a pretty big red flag.

Brad is 39 and owns nightclubs in Austin..there is no doubt he has been involved in some freaky after hours sex. Emily is probably way too inhibited for Brad.

Maybe but there is a ton of talk around Charlotte that her personna is just an act. Dale Jr says hey.

JR made a pit stop at Emilys?

 

[pantherclub]

And I can't listen to Emily for longer than 12 seconds. If Wonderbread could talk, it would sound exactly like Emily. She'd be great....in silent porn.

I wanted to like that segment. I really did. Unfortunately, little Ricki has more backbone.

She didn't say what the "red flags" were. Was he boning hot locals while she and Ricki were packing for their move? Cuz that's a pretty big red flag.

Brad is 39 and owns nightclubs in Austin..there is no doubt he has been involved in some freaky after hours sex. Emily is probably way too inhibited for Brad.

Maybe but there is a ton of talk around Charlotte that her personna is just an act. Dale Jr says hey.

JR made a pit stop at Emilys?

Emily has "changed the tires" of quite of few folks I believe. I think she actually dated JR for a bit but my friend that works in Nascar Marketing told me she wasnt that hard of a lay. Her dead ex was hitting everything that was moving before he died which made her whole shtick really funny.

 

[koby925]

God, Ames is awkward.

This gonna be great.

Ames is a solid 96 on the Unintentional Comedy Scale

 

[General Malaise]

I actually tuned into this last night from 9:45 on. Which makes about 18 minutes that I've watched of this season. Emily is Melba-toast. Good night, how could someone actually love that? I mean, lust? Sure. But love? She has the personality of instant mashed potatoes.

Then I caught the "hilarious" "blooper" of that annoying girl and a Cheesecake Factory waiter dragging a huge half-deflated balloon through Chinatown somewhere. They just HAPPENED to decide to sit on a bench and set the balloon in an exact spot so that a trained stray dog could run by and...what?...OMG it's peeing on our love balloon...OMG that's SO FUNNY. Here, let go of my sweaty, awkward hand so I can slap my knee and giggle about this completely random and unplanned event. And then the dog ran back to its trainer for kibble.

If Pickles had a show on ABC at 10:00 in which he read his blog for 7 minutes, it would win an Emmy in juxtaposition with this catastrophe.

 

[General Malaise]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

Let's look at the "talent" pool:Constantine: Oh hell no. +800

Ryan: Clearly gay. +250

Ben F.: Too boring. +300

Lucas: Who? +650

Ames: Kitschy enough to pull this off. Gets my vote. +140

Blake: Dental shtick is played. +800

Bentley: ABC is too gutless to pull the trigger. +500

Mickey: Labeled a quitter. +1100

Brad Womack: Still available. +1200

ADDING:

NONE OF THE ABOVE -200

William +950

As a complete long shot, I'd like to add William (I think it is), the wanna-be comic, cell phone kiosk keeper who absolutely bombed during the roast of Ashley, giving us some of the most uncomfortable television since Michael Scott kissed Oscar in The Office.

$10 Max bets...come one, come all...

 

[General Malaise]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

Ryan is too weird, so much so he's impossible to relate to. Even they have to realize what a terrible choice that would be. My money would be on Ames. I think after Brad turning out to be a bit of a ####, they go with the nice guy. I'm guessing he has some money too, which is a nice bonus.

This makes a lot of sense. They could also have fun dressing him in weird outfits all the time.

Where does he even find those clothes? My wife turned to me and asked me "Why don't you wear red pants"?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Ryan: Clearly gay. +250

GM, dude..

 

[General Malaise]

Ryan: Clearly gay. +250

GM, dude..

I think ABC could latch onto this one...Owns a solar company, desperate to find love, can almost pull off the Womack/Kurt Warner stubble, idealist, dreamer...possible homosexual, which gets people talking. You know how ABC likes people to talk.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I will boycott Bachelor 16: In The Sunshine Of Your Love

 

[honky kong]

Brad Womack: Still available.

I'm getting reports that Brad says the 7-Eleven at Guadalupe and 26th in Austin is "by far one of the most amazing 7-Elevens" he's ever been to.

 

[honky kong]

Ryan: Clearly gay. +250

GM, dude..

I think ABC could latch onto this one...Owns a solar company, desperate to find love, can almost pull off the Womack/Kurt Warner stubble, idealist, dreamer...possible homosexual, which gets people talking. You know how ABC likes people to talk.

Him getting caught fellating a dead guy couldn't damage his chances more than that display he put on when he got canned.

 

[EYLive]

Tankless friggin water heaters. Makes me want to cram my orange freezepop into his gay pee-hole.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Reality Steve is touting that "two months ago" he thought Ryan would be the next bachelor.

I don't think he has any particular insight, but he might want to bring that Gaydar into the shop.

 

[EYLive]

Does Ames have a family or does he live in the tower by himself?

 

[krista4]

Brad Womack: Still available.

I'm getting reports that Brad says the 7-Eleven at Guadalupe and 26th in Austin is "by far one of the most amazing 7-Elevens" he's ever been to.

He means that. He really does.

Ryan: Clearly gay. +250

GM, dude..

I think ABC could latch onto this one...Owns a solar company, desperate to find love, can almost pull off the Womack/Kurt Warner stubble, idealist, dreamer...possible homosexual, which gets people talking. You know how ABC likes people to talk.

Him getting caught fellating a dead guy couldn't damage his chances more than that display he put on when he got canned.

 

[Da Guru]

Ames sister looks like a hammer head shark.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

I think I'm going to be sad when Ames gets the boot. So awkward.

 

[honky kong]

Jesus. Had there been that many Greeks at Thermopylae, the Persians never woulda made it through.

 

[Otis]

Drinking game is GO.

Wife and I drink whenever we hear:

- amazing

- journey

- "the next level"

 

[Otis]

The comments in the last page have me

Have to stop -- we're watching on DVR and are a little behind. NO SPOILERZ PLZ KTHX

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Ames sister looks like a hammer head shark.

So wrong.:deletesthislinefromtheblog:

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Jesus. Had there been that many Greeks at Thermopylae, the Persians never woulda made it through.

HOLY ####.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Ames sister looks like a hammer head shark.

So wrong.:deletesthislinefromtheblog:

That almost made me want to check out the episode. Is Ames the guy who looks like this?

 

[Otis]

Ames sister looks like a hammer head shark.

So wrong.:deletesthislinefromtheblog:

this line had me crying

 

[honky kong]

I think I'm going to be sad when Ames gets the boot. So awkward.

Maybe someday this world will be a place where earnest, young, mongoloid portfolio managers can thrive.

 

[Otis]

Jesus. Had there been that many Greeks at Thermopylae, the Persians never woulda made it through.

HOLY ####.

This one too.

 

[Otis]

Has anyone commented yet that Ames is gay? He's got to be the gayest guy I've ever seen on this show outside of Ryan.

He'd make a GREAT best girlfriend for Ashley. But there's zero spark there, and I agree he's clearly getting booted here.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Drinking game is GO.Wife and I drink whenever we hear:- amazing- journey- "the next level"

Throw in "super" as an adverb if you want to get your wife tipsy.

 

[Otis]

Drinking game is GO.Wife and I drink whenever we hear:- amazing- journey- "the next level"

Throw in "super" as an adverb if you want to get your wife tipsy.

We're both already there. "Amazing journey" is a sweet double word score.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Has anyone commented yet that Ames is gay? He's got to be the gayest guy I've ever seen on this show outside of Ryan.He'd make a GREAT best girlfriend for Ashley. But there's zero spark there, and I agree he's clearly getting booted here.

I'm impressed that he traveled around the world on Expedia bargain deals. It's not easy to come up with new excuses for the boss and take cooking lessons in Thailand on a day's notice.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Drinking game is GO.Wife and I drink whenever we hear:- amazing- journey- "the next level"

Throw in "super" as an adverb if you want to get your wife tipsy.

We're both already there. "Amazing journey" is a sweet double word score.

Drink every time Ashley widens her eyes.

 

[identikit]

The Ames family visit had a definite multiple-screen drive-in vibe for me.

 

[Da Guru]

Ames sister looks like a hammer head shark.

So wrong.:deletesthislinefromtheblog:

That almost made me want to check out the episode. Is Ames the guy who looks like this?

Yes..you will never be able to attack Ames or his sister from the side.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Why so glum, chum?

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Why so glum, chum?

There's something about Ames that makes me feel sorry for him. Yeah, I know he grew up on some bizarre affluent farm in Pennsylvania and probably went to Oxford or something, but I want him to find love!

 

[honky kong]

Perhaps that explains why the Tzortzises are slinging deep dish instead of falafel in Atlanta?

THAT is Constantine's last name? Definite strike there. It sounds like a skin disease. Plus, it's a lot to ask of someone to spend time learning to spell their new last name as an adult.

Ames' mother (I'll call her mother -- she seems like the type that would insist upon it)...

Nailed it.

Ben's sister Julia is also cuter than Ashley, even with the patented Stepford Wife chaste look she's working. In fact, she's a lot cuter than Ashley.

And again.

There were a few "does not compute" moments from Amesbot, but overall he got through the night without rebooting.

You're really stretching those legs as we come out of the final turn.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

I think there's some weird incestuous thing going on with Ben and his sister.

 

[honky kong]

I think there's some weird incestuous thing going on with Ben and his sister.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

I think there's some weird incestuous thing going on with Ben and his sister.

"Weird" was probably an unnecessary modifier there.

 

[EYLive]

Jesus. Had there been that many Greeks at Thermopylae, the Persians never woulda made it through.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I think there's some weird incestuous thing going on with Ben and his sister.

Oh this was noticed, I just left it out. She was the one that signed him up, and then there was the comment from Ben about how "Julia and I looked to your marriage as a model" or somesuch. Just a weird way to word things. Julia is barely drinking age, yet she looks 35.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

I think there's some weird incestuous thing going on with Ben and his sister.

Oh this was noticed, I just left it out. She was the one that signed him up, and then there was the comment from Ben about how "Julia and I looked to your marriage as a model" or somesuch. Just a weird way to word things. Julia is barely drinking age, yet she looks 35.

She reminded me of the coroner from last season.

 

[pantherclub]

I think there's some weird incestuous thing going on with Ben and his sister.

Oh this was noticed, I just left it out. She was the one that signed him up, and then there was the comment from Ben about how "Julia and I looked to your marriage as a model" or somesuch. Just a weird way to word things. Julia is barely drinking age, yet she looks 35.

She reminded me of the coroner from last season.

That was Shawntel (?). I still think to this day she is the best girl ever to come through this show. She was hot, had an honest job making some good money and seemed really down to earth. I think Brad was a lunatic for not choosing her. I think he was freaked out by her profession.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I think there's some weird incestuous thing going on with Ben and his sister.

Oh this was noticed, I just left it out. She was the one that signed him up, and then there was the comment from Ben about how "Julia and I looked to your marriage as a model" or somesuch. Just a weird way to word things. Julia is barely drinking age, yet she looks 35.

She reminded me of the coroner from last season.

Definitely. A lot of resemblance there.

 

[jomar]

haven't really paid too much attention to this season but happened to catch some of last nights show since the Tigers were off.

I assumed Ames was gay after I saw him running. is he?

couldn't really figure that guy out. he seemed a little...........slow.......yet seemed pretty intelligent at the same time. is their something 'special' about him or is he just really awkward? didn't want to read though pages for the answer to this.

to tell the truth, I felt bad for the guy at the end, seeing him there looking around him to see if there was another contestant still there and maybe he wasn't going home. hope it works out for the guy in the end. seems like a nice guy but just really, really awkward.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

haven't really paid too much attention to this season but happened to catch some of last nights show since the Tigers were off. I assumed Ames was gay after I saw him running. is he?couldn't really figure that guy out. he seemed a little...........slow.......yet seemed pretty intelligent at the same time. is their something 'special' about him or is he just really awkward? didn't want to read though pages for the answer to this. to tell the truth, I felt bad for the guy at the end, seeing him there looking around him to see if there was another contestant still there and maybe he wasn't going home. hope it works out for the guy in the end. seems like a nice guy but just really, really awkward.

Ames is highly intelligent and successful, just not terribly adept with human interactions. I assume they'll fix that in the next upgrade. I want an animated gif made of him looking around at that moment.

 

[Dentist]

Pickles - will you still be blogging for bach pad 2: return of dentist?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Pickles - will you still be blogging for bach pad 2: return of dentist?

Planning on it, yes.