"The Bachelor" on ABC (3 Viewers)

[Mr. Pickles]

More boring than Ben?

More one dimensional and phony than Ben. Should be decent fodder, though.

Will be interesting for me since his parents live about 1 mile from me.

That is interesting. They've got a pretty big spread.

No kidding. Did JoeT really inherit Scupper's fortune?

His parents place isn't that nice.

That little girl's dollhouse is nicer than my house.

Looked like it had running water and everything.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

More boring than Ben?

More one dimensional and phony than Ben. Should be decent fodder, though.

Will be interesting for me since his parents live about 1 mile from me.

That is interesting. They've got a pretty big spread.

No kidding. Did JoeT really inherit Scupper's fortune?

His parents place isn't that nice.

That little girl's dollhouse is nicer than my house.

Looked like it had running water and everything.

Sean's room was kinda small.

 

[offdee]

I'm ready for starting another amazing adventure together Monday night. I really am.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Oh, is this back?

 

[Quint]

could be the first time in the history of this show that there will be no Fantasy Suite action in back-to-back seasons.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I might choose to forego this season and retain my individual dignity.

 

[YSR]

I might choose to forego this season and retain my individual dignity.

Then who is going to get my $0.14 in blog revenue?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I might choose to forego this season and retain my individual dignity.

Then who is going to get my $0.14 in blog revenue?

I think the till has about $85 in it which I can't access until I hit an even $100. As you can see, this blogging gig is dizzyingly lucrative.

 

[identikit]

Bump for the new levels of ridiculous in tonight's season premiere.

Oy.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

I turned on the TV 10 minutes ago and it is Sean! I was right... the producers better come up with some new schticks to avoid a snoozefest every single week.

 

[Quint]

Unofficial Bachelor Drinking Game** (because sometimes, it's the only way to make it through the episode)

- One drink if anyone on the show says:

awesome

amazing

incredible

the next level

soul-mate

he's the one

excited to be here

the right reasons

can i borrow him for a few minutes

- Two drinks if:

a woman cries (double if the Bachelor cries)

the Bachelor references "his Faith"

anyone passes out from intoxication

there is any making out (four if it happens on a helicopter)

anyone sings a song, reads a poem, or speaks a foreign language to impress the Bachelor

Chris Harrison says, "Please take a moment, and say your goodbye's"

Three drinks if:

anyone makes the coitus (six if it's in the hot-tub)

the Bachelor dances in public

Finish your drink if:

anyone says "I love you" before The Final Rose episode

**feel free to add ideas/suggestions

 

[Otis]

I might choose to forego this season and retain my individual dignity.

I think it may be too late. You're sort of pot committed here.

 

[Zegras11]

I might choose to forego this season and retain my individual dignity.

I think it may be too late. You're sort of pot committed here.

The would not be the same w/o your blog.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Dvr this episode but the way this game is a blowout I may watch this instead of the 2nd half

 

[General Malaise]

When you advance in years and try to keep up with these shows, the characters that come back may LOOK familiar, but remembering their details are near impossible, if you imbibe the way I imbibe. So it is with that that I tried to remember what it was I knew about "Kacie". I'll admit, it wasn't much. So I went back to the Pickles Blog to jostle the old noggin and my god...this is really good writing...

Now, I may not be a fan of how that all went down with Lindzi, but it was a five star visit compared to most of these hometowns. At least there weren't any threats of embalming or tours of the basement taxidermy shop. It could have been worse. Well, it got worse with Kacie, but we probably all knew that. Kacie is fighting her own immaturity most of the time, but her family certainly didn't do her any favors, and maybe that's a good thing. I mean, who is to say that dear ol' dad should just take one for the ABC production team and say "sure, break my kid's heart for ratings." I'm shocked more parents don't give a little push back. I think we're jumping ahead because I think it was over before it ever got that far.Now, I want to think that Kacie had nothing to do with this, but part of me isn't so sure. If you asked a random 15 year old girl what she would do to impress a boy at school, you'd probably get a response similar to what Kacie put on for Ben. I'd be interested to know if the tea party with her dollies was edited out forever or can be found on the director's cut. Video analysis has allowed us to pinpoint the exact moment that Kacie lost.Now, before I completely eviscerate Kacie, I should say that I'm actually a fan of hers. The problem is that she had an emotional flat tire somewhere in high school and never found a way to grow up. TV is probably the last place that a person should confront their psychological foibles, but in this case I think it might be a good thing. Or maybe it's going to do irreparable damage to an already brittle psyche. The difference basically boils down to a role on Bachelor Pad 3.For those of you who haven't moved around much, you may not truly appreciate the regional differences. One person's Bible Belt is another's Bourbon Belt. It's all in how you look at it, and your love of Jesus. Sonoma and Clarksville are about as similar as Keith Olbermann and Glenn Beck, but even those guys share two N's in their name. Surprisingly, not Glenn Beck.I'm sure a lot of viewers, and Kacie herself, will blame dad's skepticism and cold demeanor for her washout. Nah. The majorette was toast well before that meeting ever took place. Still, it's difficult to ignore just how squeamish Ben is during his visit. If you could construct a personal hell for a wine maker from Sonoma, it might be a dry county in Tennessee.Kacie's dad was a tough sell, and good for him. The show is a sham and has never been about finding love. It's about finding inventive ways of publicly humililating and exploiting people. Why families are so willing to allow this has been a great mystery to me, but I, for one, think Mr. Bourgeoisie (or whatever) has it right. Screw these people, and this snooty mop top drunkard from Sonoma, or Liverpool, or wherever he's from.If Ben thought Kacie's mom was going to be any easier of a nut to crack, he was disabused of that notion early. I did find it funny that she said she "watched the show a lot" and that her primary concern was co-habitation and not the myriad other ridiculous outcomes that invariably end in people losing part of their soul to the infinitely deep abyss that is this franchise. Maybe she needs to watch again. People living together isn't the source of their undoing. It's actually the only sane choice that keep them from making an even worse decision later on. Even though you know places like Clarksville exist, it's still funny to see people use "California" as a pejorative to collectively represent everything that is wrong with society. I'll give Ben credit for keeping a straight face during her rant about single-handedly preserving societal norms amid the forces of progressive evil. It's a just a bottle of wine, people. At least dad didn't wheel in a chalkboard detailing how Ben is secretly connected to San Francisco uber-liberal Nancy Pelosi, Van Jones, and ACORN. But then, Clarksville was home to Jimi Hendrix when he developed his ability to play guitar with his teeth, so it's not like they don't have blood on their hands.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

That's some inspired writing. I hope whoever runs that blog will watch the show again.

 

[jwp]

Lots of brown sugar, an amputee and annoying Kacie (B.)--or I guess just Kacie this time around. The producers have outdone themselves this season!

I'm still kind of in shock he let the singing blond from Nashville go...I thought she was hotttttt....

 

[PIK95]

Were there any Cranston girls?

 

[Beerguzzler]

An amputee... I'm disappointed she didn't have a hook prosthetic ?

 

[identikit]

An amputee... I'm disappointed she didn't have a hook prosthetic ?

I'm not sure she's technically an amputee.

 

[Zegras11]

Except for the two chicks taking headers, that was brutal.I'm beginning to wonder if they pay someone to get hammered on every first show. It's getting old.

 

[(HULK)]

Lots of brown sugar, an amputee and annoying Kacie (B.)--or I guess just Kacie this time around. The producers have outdone themselves this season! I'm still kind of in shock he let the singing blond from Nashville go...I thought she was hotttttt....

Singing cruise ship girl had 2 different color eyes. How come the show focused on the one armed bandit so much and failed to bring this eye color disability to the forefront.Sean is clearly racist against different colored eyes.ETA: She also looked like oumpa loopa orange on my TV.

 

[(HULK)]

I think Kacie B and Sean are probably a good match.

 

[(HULK)]

The girl who failed at back handspring's face looks like it was distorted by a circus mirror. Top too small, bottom way to large.

 

[(HULK)]

Pickles you must blog. You must. This season will be ripe with moments that you can deride much more effectively than I.

 

[scrumptrulescent]

There are actually men who watch this show?

 

[(HULK)]

There are actually men who watch this show?

26 reasonsably attractive women, often in swimsuits. I have to watch *some* shows my wife does, this one is on my list because of the eye candy and the trainwrecks.Bottom line, its either this or Real Housewives of Wherever. Bachelor wins by a mile as I can't stand 5 middle aged women bickering at each other for an hour.

 

[Quint]

a few thoughts:

- it's good to know that Sean has kept the deep neck V T-shirt in style

- Sean-E: it's never a good idea to gloss yourself in the 3rd person

- Who taught Sean how to use a knife? the tip of his index finger was in more trouble than that strawberry

- Question: did Sean and Arie actually kiss during the first two takes, only to have the producer ask them to tone it down? did they play tummysticks after that scene was over?

- for the record: the gal with one arm uses a knife better than Sean.

- Tierra del Culo is pretty hot, though that rogue eyebrow is something to keep tabs on

- 50 Shames of Buzzed: “I want Sean to rip my clothes off and spank me.” right. enjoy your masturbation.

- SF Casting Consultant looks just as comfortable in the driveway of the Bachelor mansion, or walking through the streets of the Tenderloin in her off-the-rack Kohls dress.

- we know Selma has Hispanic heritage because her Limo Exit music included flamenco guitar

- A minimum requirement for the Bachelor should be shoes...I could practically smell the patchouli oil coming off the Yoga Instructor

- Sean is the kind of guy who would carry around a rape whistle.

- Kacie B needs to mix in a cheeseburger with her sense of entitlement

- with 30 minutes left in the episode, i had the odds of White Wedding Mess puking on Sean at 5:1 and her chances of getting a rose at Notre Dame:BCS Victory. i'm bad at handicapping.

 

[EYLive]

Kacie B's back? I love(d) her. Might have to tune in.

 

[Kit Fisto]

Were there any Cranston girls?

There was one.Cranston represent! I went to East. Grew up off Pontiac...

 

[Stinkin Ref]

he let some hot chicks go and I think had to keep "some" just so the show wouldn't catch any flack.....and from the looks of it....the drunk wedding dress chick looks like she hangs on for awhile.....

 

[Kit Fisto]

Political Advisor from D.C. is my early favorite. Attractive, smart, not bat-##### crazy.Does she remind anyone else of Amy Smart? Looks-wise that is...

 

[Limp Ditka]

There are actually men who watch this show?

[*]Fantasy Football Board

[*]Predominantly frequented by males

[*]Thread on the show

[*]Thread has almost 3,000 posts in it.

Way to put two and two together here, guy.

 

[jwp]

he let some hot chicks go and I think had to keep "some" just so the show wouldn't catch any flack.....and from the looks of it....the drunk wedding dress chick looks like she hangs on for awhile.....

I totally agree. I think it puts them in a bad spot when they do the amputee thing or the dude with brain damage (from the bachelorette). If they let them go the first night it looks bad on them, so they end up keeping them for awhile when in reality they know they didn't want to.

 

[Zegras11]

he let some hot chicks go and I think had to keep "some" just so the show wouldn't catch any flack.....

and from the looks of it....the drunk wedding dress chick looks like she hangs on for awhile.....

I totally agree. I think it puts them in a bad spot when they do the amputee thing or the dude with brain damage (from the bachelorette). If they let them go the first night it looks bad on them, so they end up keeping them for awhile when in reality they know they didn't want to.

She was depressing.

 

[(HULK)]

I would do the one armed girl. Why not?Honestly, she's probably way more down to earth than most women, having to adapt herself to a world built for 2 handers since birth.

 

[Stinkin Ref]

he let some hot chicks go and I think had to keep "some" just so the show wouldn't catch any flack.....and from the looks of it....the drunk wedding dress chick looks like she hangs on for awhile.....

I totally agree. I think it puts them in a bad spot when they do the amputee thing or the dude with brain damage (from the bachelorette). If they let them go the first night it looks bad on them, so they end up keeping them for awhile when in reality they know they didn't want to.

I wasn't even really referring to her....I think she is pretty cool and attractive

 

[butcher boy]

Instead of people with disabilities, they should put a disgusting fat chick on. Imagine if the limo pulled up and the mom from Honey Boo Boo waddled out? Must see TV right there.

 

[McGarnicle]

There are actually men who watch this show?

26 reasonsably attractive women, often in swimsuits. I have to watch *some* shows my wife does, this one is on my list because of the eye candy and the trainwrecks.Bottom line, its either this or Real Housewives of Wherever. Bachelor wins by a mile as I can't stand 5 middle aged women bickering at each other for an hour.

The show is so bad it's good, plus hot women. The wife and I have a lot of fun making fun of it, and they always have one or two unstable people and crazy surprises.

 

[rail]

"Don't get mad, Mom."

 

[Gr00vus]

Joined in late and for a while I thought Stephen Pearcy had a new career, then the wife had to tell me this contestant is actually a "model."

 

[G5781]

Sean is annoying, the guy has a perfect answer for everything. Dude is full of it. He looks a little intimidated by the Brittany Spears looking chick (Tara?) but she has no chance. I have a thing for the political campaign girl. Not the most beautiful but looks like a good time.Desiree is the favorite

 

[identikit]

Sean is annoying, the guy has a perfect answer for everything. Dude is full of it.

He looks a little intimidated by the Brittany Spears looking chick (Tara?) but she has no chance.

I have a thing for the political campaign girl. Not the most beautiful but looks like a good time.

Desiree is the favorite

They all are. Every season.

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

The one-armed girl in general, and the story about being kicked off the amusement ride as a child following her 35-story drop with Sean, was the most contrived thing to ever run on TV.

The show is indistinguishable from the parody.

 

[Brony]

I wish I could wager on the possibility that next week's teaser insinuating that someone shoved Tierra down the stairs is nothing but a simple accident and no foul play. And yet, I'll still watch, because of the high likelihood that an insecure girl will cry because she didn't get a ####ing rose on a group date.

 

[rail]

O/U on the amount of times that One-Arm mentions she only has one-arm? She did it like 4 times on the single date.

 

[butcher boy]

I'm sorry but that dangling stump is a bit unnerving to watch. Can't she wear a prosthetic? Titanium alloy like they use on the space shuttle?

 

[offdee]

I'm sorry but that dangling stump is a bit unnerving to watch. Can't she wear a prosthetic? Titanium alloy like they use on the space shuttle?

Or a hook at least.

 

[Ray Karpis]

I'm sorry but that dangling stump is a bit unnerving to watch. Can't she wear a prosthetic? Titanium alloy like they use on the space shuttle?

Or a hook at least.

"So I went ahead and addressed the elephant in the room."

And I was already thinking the stump kinda looked like an elephant trunk.

 

[jwp]

Thumbs down to Sean for stringing stump along so he doesn't look like a bad guy. She has no chance. I would not have fallen for the prank because I immediately recognized the supposed artist from Scare Tactics. What's up with the weird acting girl who won't talk when she's around the others?