The Modern Man as told by some NY Times writer dude (1 Viewer)

[Peyton Marino]

the hell?

 

[Peyton Marino]

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

people do this?

 

[Peyton Marino]

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

 

[PIK95]

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouses phone and his kids electronic devices are charging for the night.

people do this?

I do it for the kids stuff.

 

[B Maverick]

What in the hell?

I know no men that do these things. Maybe 1 or 2 but not all of them.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesnt have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

 

[Joe T]

horrid

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Brian Lombardi is as good a writer as Joe Lombardi is an offensive coordinator.

 

[Peyton Marino]

21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

ok?

 

[Peyton Marino]

the modern man has 27 distinctive and superfluous rules for being a man, but he still rocks Kenneth Coles.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

the modern man has 27 distinctive and superfluous rules for being a man, but he still rocks Kenneth Coles.

Probably has a Spitters are Quitters t-shirt too

 

[[icon]]

4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.

The modern man doesn't apparently know how to spell

 

[[icon]]

2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

4. The modern man doesnt cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.

The modern man doesn't apparently know how to spell

I don't order too many filet, but I don't recall them having a whole lot of fatty bits on them

 

[Gator Shawn]

I bet he says "fill-it" instead of "fill-ay"

 

[Gator Shawn]

I have never wished for a comments section more in my life.

 

[[icon]]

42) The Modern Man gets punched in the face by the average man for being an pretentious #####

 

[(HULK)]

I guess I'm not modern.

Only ones that describe me are 5, 9, 11, and 15

4/27... I'm ~15% modern according to the author. Who clearly is an emo hipster douchenozzle who knows very little about being a man.

 

[Gator Shawn]

I don't know which one annoys/angers me the most.

Maybe:

15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.

 

[17seconds]

This list has no cohesion. It's like the guy is just describing himself.

This probably actually happened to him and he thought it was funny to include:

21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

...he thought he was doing a great thing by not getting angry

And what the hell does this one even mean?

7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.

He probably just isn't into Mountain Dew

Very strange, self-absorbed article

 

[Peyton Marino]

the modern man writes clickbait listicles for the new york times

 

[Warsteinner]

More like modern p*ssy.

 

[johnadams]

Main thing I got is that the modern man is as pretentious as ever. If this is the definition of the modern man, I'm going back to my cave.

 

[Christo]

This list is mismatched. It half man-half #####.

 

[Insein]

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouses phone and his kids electronic devices are charging for the night.

people do this?

Umm guilty

 

[Insein]

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesnt have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

Yea no. I don't even know her clothes size let alone buy the clothes for her. Usually I'll give it a go around holidays to remind her why I shouldn't buy her clothes.

 

[Insein]

21. The modern man doesnt scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

ok?

That's pretty specific. Can't say she's ever sneezed while eating an apple donut.

 

[Insein]

2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

Hipple-fecta

In private I guess? I don't understand this one.

 

[Christo]

21. The modern man doesnt scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

ok?

That's pretty specific. Can't say she's ever sneezed while eating an apple donut.

WTH is an apple doughnut?

 

[xulf]

How can I tell this person that he is a pos?

 

[xulf]

21. The modern man doesnt scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

ok?

That's pretty specific. Can't say she's ever sneezed while eating an apple donut.

WTH is an apple doughnut?

Seriously? One of the most amazing doughnuts ever. Either a glaze or cinnamon sugar topping. You live in the Midwest...leave the city occasionly.ETA-fatties will probably be at the farm guzzling cider and eating sweets. Your scene.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Is it like an apple fritter?

 

[xulf]

Is it like an apple fritter?

Normal round doughnut

https://www.google.com/search?q=apple+doughnuts&client=ms-android-oneplus&prmd=sniv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAkQ_AUoA2oVChMIrJeAiPafyAIViJqACh1ZKQHH&biw=360&bih=559#imgrc=mhtPgIVGLjR_6M%3A

 

[Insein]

21. The modern man doesnt scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

ok?

That's pretty specific. Can't say she's ever sneezed while eating an apple donut.

WTH is an apple doughnut?

Usually around fall. Apple Cider donuts. When done right they are amazing.

 

[Insein]

How can I tell this person that he is a pos?

Flaming bag of poo at the NY times.

 

[Peyton Marino]

Let's stay on the topic here fellas

 

[xulf]

Let's stay on the topic here fellas

The modern man knows, and loves, apple doughnuts.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Is it like an apple fritter?

Normal round doughnut https://www.google.com/search?q=apple+doughnuts&client=ms-android-oneplus&prmd=sniv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAkQ_AUoA2oVChMIrJeAiPafyAIViJqACh1ZKQHH&biw=360&bih=559#imgrc=mhtPgIVGLjR_6M%3A

Still never heard of one. Been to many cider mills and gotten donuts but never an apple donut

Is it an east coast thing?

 

[Poke_4_Life]

Guess I'm a renaissance man, cuz I'm sure not a modern man according to this guy's list.

 

[NCCommish]

Someone is feeling inadequate and doing a little compensating. That list is too specific to be anything but autobiographical.

 

[Zigg]

Tim Horton's has an apple pie donut right now. Kind of like a fritter, but with a pie filling middle, and some kind of pie crust stuff sprinkled on the outside. Fantastic donut, and I'd give my daughter a stern talking to if she sneezed any of that out.

 

[xulf]

Tim Horton's has an apple pie donut right now. Kind of like a fritter, but with a pie filling middle, and some kind of pie crust stuff sprinkled on the outside. Fantastic donut, and I'd give my daughter a stern talking to if she sneezed any of that out.

See, to me, that sounds gross. It should be a cake type doughnut.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

This was fit to print?

 

[bentley]

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouses phone and his kids electronic devices are charging for the night.

people do this?

Umm guilty

I do this with our stuff. I even replaces a regular electrical faceplate with a USB one tucked it into a shelf so that our stuff can charge without the cords showing.

Most of this list is terrible.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I got to about #6 and decided it was a waste of time.

 

[chauncey]

George Carlin's Modern Man

 

[dozer]

#28: A modern man doesn't mind wearing white socks with sandals if he's just running to 7-11 for a can of dip.

 

[trader jake]

22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.

How have we gotten this far without mentioning this gem? A newspaper? GTFO.

 

[Otis]

They really this short on news? That's cringeworthy.

 

[avoiding injuries]

This was fit to print?

We all can agree that the author is a doosh, the only question is how high up the chain does it go? Someone read this and gave it the ok.