The Religion Conundrum (how to talk with your kids) (1 Viewer)

[ProstheticRGK]

My wife is Christian. Sort of non-denominational, born again, raised going to church, but not overly zealous. She occassionally goes to church with my kids- but not very regularly. Her family, who live locally, are all pretty great people. They’re involved in different churches, so my kids get exposure to Bible Study and youth groups and kid camps.

I’m not religious, at all. But, i believe very strongly in a god/higher power/universal consciousness. I was raised Catholic, had a born again experience in my early teens and was rabidly devout, and then became an existential atheistic hedonist at about age 16. Since then, I’ve become a bit of a weird gnostic/mystic/psychonaut mixture. I have enough space to appreciate some of the mythos surrounding religious pomp and imagery, but am also leery of the mind-bending social control aspects of dogma.

With Easter coming up, my youngest son, almost 9, brought up the story of Easter. I found myself doing a lot of hemming and hawing about the story- trying to lay out a lot of the redemptive themes and rebirth analogies, with a ton of “a lot of people believe” and “some people think” caveats. 

How do you handle this? I’m not wanting to bash religion or Christianity. But, at the same time, I don’t want to give him the impression that the Easter story, or the life of Jesus is gospel truth. How do you get that across to a nine-year-old?

 

[shuke]

a ton of “a lot of people believe” and “some people think” caveats. 

I think it's okay to do this, as long as you show them that there are differing viewpoints.

Our kids are 13 and 8.  Something came up about church a few weeks ago.  I said, "your mom and I think religion is something that you guys should decide about when you're old enough".

The end.

 

[ProstheticRGK]

I think it's okay to do this, as long as you show them that there are differing viewpoints.

Our kids are 13 and 8.  Something came up about church a few weeks ago.  I said, "your mom and I think religion is something that you guys should decide about when you're old enough".

The end.

I like the simple approach. Makes me realize, as much as I feel compelled to, I can’t mindmeld 48 years of personal experience to him in a 5 minute conversation.

 

[RokNRole]

My wife is Christian. Sort of non-denominational, born again, raised going to church, but not overly zealous. She occassionally goes to church with my kids- but not very regularly. Her family, who live locally, are all pretty great people. They’re involved in different churches, so my kids get exposure to Bible Study and youth groups and kid camps.

I’m not religious, at all. But, i believe very strongly in a god/higher power/universal consciousness. I was raised Catholic, had a born again experience in my early teens and was rabidly devout, and then became an existential atheistic hedonist at about age 16. Since then, I’ve become a bit of a weird gnostic/mystic/psychonaut mixture. I have enough space to appreciate some of the mythos surrounding religious pomp and imagery, but am also leery of the mind-bending social control aspects of dogma.

With Easter coming up, my youngest son, almost 9, brought up the story of Easter. I found myself doing a lot of hemming and hawing about the story- trying to lay out a lot of the redemptive themes and rebirth analogies, with a ton of “a lot of people believe” and “some people think” caveats. 

How do you handle this? I’m not wanting to bash religion or Christianity. But, at the same time, I don’t want to give him the impression that the Easter story, or the life of Jesus is gospel truth. How do you get that across to a nine-year-old?

It sounds like you are religious.

 

[ProstheticRGK]

It sounds like you are religious.

Ok.

 

[glvsav37]

I'm confused....so you are cool with your wife/in-laws bringing your kids to church, but you're not cool with them believing the things they hear there?  

You don't want to bash religion, but want to tell your kids that their grandparents are full of BS? Why is it so bad that they believe in the Easter story or Christ? Just because you don't, but who said you are right either?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a practicing person today, but was raised Lutheran and I appreciate the exposure I got to the faith growing up. I think it kept me somewhat in line and out of trouble. And when the time came, and I was able to make decisions on my own, I chose not to continue practicing. But I don't resent my parents or anything for bringing me to church as a kid (except for the waking up early on Sunday ####). 

Let it go...leave it at "some people think..." and move past it. If you dont want your kid exposed to religion, get your wife on the same page and stop bringing him.

 

[kutta]

I'm confused....so you are cool with your wife/in-laws bringing your kids to church, but you're not cool with them believing the things they hear there?  

You don't want to bash religion, but want to tell your kids that their grandparents are full of BS? Why is it so bad that they believe in the Easter story or Christ? Just because you don't, but who said you are right either?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a practicing person today, but was raised Lutheran and I appreciate the exposure I got to the faith growing up. I think it kept me somewhat in line and out of trouble. And when the time came, and I was able to make decisions on my own, I chose not to continue practicing. But I don't resent my parents or anything for bringing me to church as a kid (except for the waking up early on Sunday ####). 

Let it go...leave it at "some people think..." and move past it. If you dont want your kid exposed to religion, get your wife on the same page and stop bringing him.

I agree with this. I’m an atheist, and my kids were not raised with religion. But, my youngest went to a small religious preschool - I wasn’t aware of how religious it was at the time. She would come home and talk about things she learned about God, things I had no interest in her learning. So I tried to play it off and brush over it, but it just didn’t work. She was very confused.

If you aren’t comfortable with your kids believing what they learn in church, then they shouldn’t go. You either need to support the whole thing or stop the whole thing. The half and half is going to cause problems.

IMO

 

[wikkidpissah]

Christ was a hero. Might have been the greatest man who ever lived even if he was entirely full of #### about being related to God. The stuff he taught about love & care & ethics hasn't changed one iota from its rightness in a world where some the greatest acts & stories & jokes dont have more of a shelf life than Twinkies. The goofy crap people have come up with about him dont change that neither. Wifey can teach em why he's God, you teach em why he's great. Evvybotty on same page, hokay Joe?

 

[Joe Summer]

Instead of saying "Some people think," why not ask "What do YOU think?"?

 

[Galileo]

"Go ask your mother"

 

[ProstheticRGK]

I'm confused....so you are cool with your wife/in-laws bringing your kids to church, but you're not cool with them believing the things they hear there?  

You don't want to bash religion, but want to tell your kids that their grandparents are full of BS? Why is it so bad that they believe in the Easter story or Christ? Just because you don't, but who said you are right either?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a practicing person today, but was raised Lutheran and I appreciate the exposure I got to the faith growing up. I think it kept me somewhat in line and out of trouble. And when the time came, and I was able to make decisions on my own, I chose not to continue practicing. But I don't resent my parents or anything for bringing me to church as a kid (except for the waking up early on Sunday ####). 

Let it go...leave it at "some people think..." and move past it. If you dont want your kid exposed to religion, get your wife on the same page and stop bringing him.

Don’t be confused. My wife and her family believe. I don’t believe the dogma of the Christian church, but i’m a huge believer in the teachings of Christ. To me, Jesus was way cool. And there’s a path to “source” if you follow his teachings. Just as there’s a path if you follow Buddha or Lao Tse or the Church of the Subgenius.

my personal belief, which works for me (and me exclusively) is that the life of Jesus is a great parable and allegory, rife with really powerful themes that can serve as an object lesson to help people unlock a life of great reward and service to the greater good. I like that my kids are exposed to bible teachings and the social aspects of church. I find a lot of value from my childhood exposure to those ideas. I find it hard to communicate to a 9-year-old the subtlety of finding immense value in the teaching of the Chritianity, without giving it the imprimatur of black/white “this is truth”.

 

[kutta]

Instead of saying "Some people think," why not ask "What do YOU think?"?

Kids believe pretty much whatever their parents tell them. 

 

[Zegras11]

Kids believe pretty much whatever their parents tell them. 

abso####inglutely 

 

[Jefferson the Caregiver]

Kids believe pretty much whatever their parents tell them. 

100% true and there is no chance that a kid knows what to think on this subject at 9 years old.

I'd raise them down the path that you believe and let them think for themselves when they have some understanding of the context.

 

[EYLive]

"Go ask your mother"

Since they questions are being raised by the kids, its a good idea to be on the same page as their mother. If he approves of mom's influence on them, he should be ok with her explanation about Christian doctrine.

 

[RokNRole]

Ok.

Did you respond to this in particular because it offends you?

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

You might want to check out some Unitarian literature.

 

[The Commish]

Don’t be confused. My wife and her family believe. I don’t believe the dogma of the Christian church, but i’m a huge believer in the teachings of Christ. To me, Jesus was way cool. And there’s a path to “source” if you follow his teachings. Just as there’s a path if you follow Buddha or Lao Tse or the Church of the Subgenius.

my personal belief, which works for me (and me exclusively) is that the life of Jesus is a great parable and allegory, rife with really powerful themes that can serve as an object lesson to help people unlock a life of great reward and service to the greater good. I like that my kids are exposed to bible teachings and the social aspects of church. I find a lot of value from my childhood exposure to those ideas. I find it hard to communicate to a 9-year-old the subtlety of finding immense value in the teaching of the Chritianity, without giving it the imprimatur of black/white “this is truth”.

So it SEEMS that you are good with the teachings of the Bible.  Where you draw the line is all the "stuff" we as followers attach to those teachings.  Is that a fair characterization?  If so, I get it....completely.  It's my contention that "religion" is the biggest obstacle between us and relationship with God.  Simply put, we can't get out of our own way.  If you are good with the theology and you just don't care for all the junk religious organizations dump on top, that's an easy distinction to make.  That's one of the easier conversations actually.  I've had that discussion with both my 10 year old and my 6 year old.  It opens up communication between us and I do my best to make sure they are thinking through things more than I am telling them what I believe.

 

[Jayrok]

I’m not wanting to bash religion or Christianity. But, at the same time, I don’t want to give him the impression that the Easter story, or the life of Jesus is gospel truth. How do you get that across to a nine-year-old?

Why is it important to you that a nine year old child needs to know that the Christian Easter story is not true?  

It's fine that you don't believe and don't want him to believe Jesus is real, but there are other members of your family that are very important in your son's life that do believe.  Let them take him to church, let them tell stories of how they feel about the Bible, etc.  He will grow just the same and will one day develop his own beliefs.

The way you describe your wife doesn't make it sound like she is one to try and force religious dogma down others' throats.  Sounds like a kind and loving environment for him to grow up in, and it sounds like his grandparents are great people (as you called them).  

Let them take him to church.. to youth camp and other youth activities.  There's plenty of time for him to grow up and sort those types of things out for himself.  

 

[matuski]

My kids go to christian youth summer camps, go to church with friends.. they pray at meals with one family we are close with.

9 and 11 years old.  I don't bother to worry or talk about it.

They are smart kids, they will figure out what makes them happy on their own.  If they ask, I'll answer.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

My kids go to christian youth summer camps, go to church with friends.. they pray at meals with one family we are close with.

This surprises me a little as I know you are an atheist from previous threads.

My wife is devout Catholic and I am atheist.  Its...tricky.

 

[PIK95]

If you aren’t comfortable with your kids believing what they learn in church, then they shouldn’t go. You either need to support the whole thing or stop the whole thing. The half and half is going to cause problems.

IMO

That's why my kids don't go at all.  

 

[guru_007]

Kids believe pretty much whatever their parents tell them. 

I disagree.  Especially in today's internet age where information is so readily available.  I can't speak for everyone else, but my kids pretty much believe what they want to, and so did I when I was a kid.

I'll give a personal anecdote about my upbringing (and i'll apologize in advance for any misspellings)

My parents were both devout Catholics.  Both went to Catholic schools up to and including college.  Obviously they raised our family Catholic.  However, when I was 5-7 years old, I lived in the deep south.  Most all of my friends were Baptists.  I went to quite a few of their services/Sunday schools and had some questions while there.  When I was 8-13 years old, I lived in the Northeast.  Most all of my friends were either Jewish or Catholic.  As my friends were coming up on their Bar Mitzvah's, I had a number of opportunities to attend synagogue, as well as Seder's during holidays, etc...  I learned quite a few other traditions and i had questions.  When I went to college, I fell out of any religious services for years.  I spent a lot of time reading about Buddhism and meditation.  I had a lot of questions all through my life and found my own path/journey.

When I met my wife and we started talking about family, we had a talk and I mentioned that I felt that religion had once again become an important part of my life as it helped me cope with some of my fears/anxieties and that I wanted to bring up my kids in the Catholic faith as I re-entered it.  She was agreeable.  My eldest was not baptized, so we waited until she reached the age of consent and let her decide on her own.  We went through the Cathecumen process together and she was baptized at 13.  

At my dinner table, we pray as a family before meals.  I did not do this growing up, ever.  My wife's family did and they were Mormon.  I enjoy it.  My parents are C&E'ers now as far as attending mass.  I go just about every Sunday.  I enjoy it.  People change.  I've told my children they can believe what they want to believe and follow their own path. I just wanted to give them a peek into one faith and one's teachings.  I don't feel there is anything negative conveyed and the underlying message to me seems to try to live a good life and do unto others as they would do unto you.  If they change their faiths and raise their children otherwise, so be it.  

I guess my long winded message is that there should be no religion conundrum.  Speak to your children about your beliefs and why you do so.  If they want to learn about something else, they can easily do so.  You don't need to bash religion if you are not religious at all.  I don't bash anyone outside my faith, my political belief's, etc... I simply listen to what they have to say and form my own opinions.  That is what I want my children to do too.  They ask me plenty of questions that I cannot answer about anything from religion to calculus.  I try to explore the answers to their questions together, and every day I learn something new (for instance just a few months ago, i learned that Jesus had sisters and brothers, I had no clue).

 

[matuski]

This surprises me a little as I know you are an atheist from previous threads.

My wife is devout Catholic and I am atheist.  Its...tricky.

I don't believe in lots of things, it doesn't bother me that other people do.  Only when they feel it necessary to persuade me that their beliefs are the right ones or real.  

Otherwise.. believe in your invisible gods, step over cracks, carry a rabbit's foot, knock on wood.  If it makes you happy, cool. 

I would get in the way if I felt any of these activities or groups were making a conspicuous effort to "convert" or claim my kids.  But so far so good.  They are exposed to and taught a religion.  Maybe they have some innocent belief in it like Santa and the Easter Bunny.    I have two neighbors across the street that are from India, I think it is great that my kids get to eat meals with them and experience that culture as well.  

 

[culdeus]

Every easter I get questions about why my kids never got baptized.  Problem is my wife is a closeted atheist and I'm not. 

You would think people would just catch on.  My sister had her baby baptized just to get people off her ### and she hasnt been to church since. 

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Sounds like most of you are in alignment with your spouse which is huge in the approach to the kids.  My wife is devout Catholic insists I don't tell the kids that I don't believe.  Ugh.. I don't know.

 

[matuski]

Sounds like most of you are in alignment with your spouse which is huge in the approach to the kids.  My wife is devout Catholic insists I don't tell the kids that I don't believe.  Ugh.. I don't know.

Does she insist on making them believe?  If she is hardcore that might be weird.  My wife is "Christian", but she is pretty laid back about it.

I don't feel like I am making any concessions letting my kids be around it, taught it, live it.  I did growing up.  I don't feel threatened by it.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Every easter I get questions about why my kids never got baptized.  Problem is my wife is a closeted atheist and I'm not. 

You would think people would just catch on.  My sister had her baby baptized just to get people off her ### and she hasnt been to church since. 

Who asks you this? 

They suck, whoever they are. 

 

[Galileo]

Sounds like most of you are in alignment with your spouse which is huge in the approach to the kids.  My wife is devout Catholic insists I don't tell the kids that I don't believe.  Ugh.. I don't know.

I am in your situation.  My wife does not want me talking to the kids about religion.  I do anyway, but I do not force or initiate the conversation.  I only share my views when I am asked a question, and I always encourage my kids to learn as much as they can and make their own decisions.  My wife, the catholic, would prefer I lie to them...rather ironic.  

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I am in your situation.  My wife does not want me talking to the kids about religion.  I do anyway, but I do not force or initiate the conversation.  I only share my views when I am asked a question, and I always encourage my kids to learn as much as they can and make their own decisions.  My wife, the catholic, would prefer I lie to them...rather ironic.  

Yep.  Peace bro.

 

[Galileo]

Does she insist on making them believe?  If she is hardcore that might be weird.  My wife is "Christian", but she is pretty laid back about it.

I don't feel like I am making any concessions letting my kids be around it, taught it, live it.  I did growing up.  I don't feel threatened by it.

This is what I figure.  I was raised Catholic as well and figured I managed to come out the other side OK.  I assume my kids will figure out what works for them as they mature.  My 15 yr old already as drifted away from the church.  He doesn't believe any of it.  It ends up being a bit of a source of friction with my wife since she still forces him to go to church every week.

 

[matuski]

At some point, knowing my kids, there will be a practical conversation where my thoughts on the topic become clear.

I will consider my logical approach to it as one of the many ways they see people approach it.  I won't argue it or press it, I will simply state it.  I won't stop them from learning how most people go about it.

There is no system of beliefs or "culture" related to not believing in gods, nothing to "teach", so it will really just be a simple conversation... whenever it happens.

 

[kutta]

I disagree.  Especially in today's internet age where information is so readily available.  I can't speak for everyone else, but my kids pretty much believe what they want to, and so did I when I was a kid.

I'll give a personal anecdote about my upbringing (and i'll apologize in advance for any misspellings)

My parents were both devout Catholics.  Both went to Catholic schools up to and including college.  Obviously they raised our family Catholic.  However, when I was 5-7 years old, I lived in the deep south.  Most all of my friends were Baptists.  I went to quite a few of their services/Sunday schools and had some questions while there.  When I was 8-13 years old, I lived in the Northeast.  Most all of my friends were either Jewish or Catholic.  As my friends were coming up on their Bar Mitzvah's, I had a number of opportunities to attend synagogue, as well as Seder's during holidays, etc...  I learned quite a few other traditions and i had questions.  When I went to college, I fell out of any religious services for years.  I spent a lot of time reading about Buddhism and meditation.  I had a lot of questions all through my life and found my own path/journey.

When I met my wife and we started talking about family, we had a talk and I mentioned that I felt that religion had once again become an important part of my life as it helped me cope with some of my fears/anxieties and that I wanted to bring up my kids in the Catholic faith as I re-entered it.  She was agreeable.  My eldest was not baptized, so we waited until she reached the age of consent and let her decide on her own.  We went through the Cathecumen process together and she was baptized at 13.  

At my dinner table, we pray as a family before meals.  I did not do this growing up, ever.  My wife's family did and they were Mormon.  I enjoy it.  My parents are C&E'ers now as far as attending mass.  I go just about every Sunday.  I enjoy it.  People change.  I've told my children they can believe what they want to believe and follow their own path. I just wanted to give them a peek into one faith and one's teachings.  I don't feel there is anything negative conveyed and the underlying message to me seems to try to live a good life and do unto others as they would do unto you.  If they change their faiths and raise their children otherwise, so be it.  

I guess my long winded message is that there should be no religion conundrum.  Speak to your children about your beliefs and why you do so.  If they want to learn about something else, they can easily do so.  You don't need to bash religion if you are not religious at all.  I don't bash anyone outside my faith, my political belief's, etc... I simply listen to what they have to say and form my own opinions.  That is what I want my children to do too.  They ask me plenty of questions that I cannot answer about anything from religion to calculus.  I try to explore the answers to their questions together, and every day I learn something new (for instance just a few months ago, i learned that Jesus had sisters and brothers, I had no clue).

So your parents were Catholic, you were raised Catholic, and after some thinking and a spiritual journey, you are Catholic.

I’m not sure what you are disagreeing with

 

[matuski]

Kids believe pretty much whatever their parents tell them. 

I don't.  Drives my mom and her family nuts.

eta - I should say I did, then I didn't, and I don't.

 

[guru_007]

So your parents were Catholic, you were raised Catholic, and after some thinking and a spiritual journey, you are Catholic.

I’m not sure what you are disagreeing with

I went through a journey to where I am now.  My wife was raised Mormon, went through a lot more religious services/school than I ever did, and now no longer is part of that faith.  I think that kids will listen to what you tell them, but maybe not hear.  They will believe what they want to believe.  Everyone is different.  I certainly think that parents can influence their children.  I think people that are not religious feel that religion is brain washing people/children.  Sorry if that's a broad sweeping accusation, but it's akin to saying that children are only going to believe what their parents believe.  Its just a part of the story.

 

[Galileo]

Kids believe pretty much whatever their parents tell them. 

I don't.  Drives my mom and her family nuts.

eta - I should say I did, then I didn't, and I don't.

I think you are proving kutta's point.  Of course kids believe their parents.  This is their default starting position. They continue to believe their parents until they have reason, and the thinking capacity, not to.  

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I think you guys are understating the impact of childhood indoctrination.  Some grow out of religion yes.  But the statistics say that many/most do not.  Obviously this depends can depend on how thorough or hardcore the indoctrination is.

 

[matuski]

I think you are proving kutta's point.  Of course kids believe their parents.  This is their default starting position. They continue to believe their parents until they have reason, and the thinking capacity, not to.  

Sure.  Perhaps I misunderstood.

 

[matuski]

I think you guys are understating the impact of childhood indoctrination.  Some grow out of religion yes.  But the statistics say that many/most do not.  Obviously this depends can depend on how thorough or hardcore the indoctrination is.

It is the most sinister part of religion imo.  I guess I have found ways to make it about more than that... my kids are focused on the fun, their friends. 

When they come home from these things, this is what I reinforce.. who did you see/talk to?  Did you have fun?  What games did you play?  Want to invite your friends over to play this weekend?  

I will not say a word as long as jesus = santa.  If my 9 year old starts picketing abortion clinics.. FFA matuski will come out. 

 

[parasaurolophus]

Pretty sure religion should be one of the first things you discuss before having kids.

I could easily see glossing over this. Plenty of couples aren't religious at all. Go years without going to church, maybe not even easter or xmas. All of a sudden living in a suburb and having kids makes plenty of people religious. Like it is insurance or something. 

 

[culdeus]

Who asks you this? 

They suck, whoever they are. 

Couple of distant relatives.  It changes.  The entire concept is just so foreign to some people in this part of the world. I honestly think people think that even if the parents are a couple of heathens that they are covered by the golden shower up to like age 18 or so.

 

[shader]

My wife is Christian. Sort of non-denominational, born again, raised going to church, but not overly zealous. She occassionally goes to church with my kids- but not very regularly. Her family, who live locally, are all pretty great people. They’re involved in different churches, so my kids get exposure to Bible Study and youth groups and kid camps.

I’m not religious, at all. But, i believe very strongly in a god/higher power/universal consciousness. I was raised Catholic, had a born again experience in my early teens and was rabidly devout, and then became an existential atheistic hedonist at about age 16. Since then, I’ve become a bit of a weird gnostic/mystic/psychonaut mixture. I have enough space to appreciate some of the mythos surrounding religious pomp and imagery, but am also leery of the mind-bending social control aspects of dogma.

With Easter coming up, my youngest son, almost 9, brought up the story of Easter. I found myself doing a lot of hemming and hawing about the story- trying to lay out a lot of the redemptive themes and rebirth analogies, with a ton of “a lot of people believe” and “some people think” caveats. 

How do you handle this? I’m not wanting to bash religion or Christianity. But, at the same time, I don’t want to give him the impression that the Easter story, or the life of Jesus is gospel truth. How do you get that across to a nine-year-old?

There's nothing wrong with teaching kids what you believe.  It's the job of a parent.  Also, I wouldn't worry about giving your kid the impression that the life of Jesus is gospel truth.  I don't think he's going to ever get that impression from talking to you, based on what you've posted.

BUT...he will encounter others who do believe in Jesus and those are moments where he will make his own mind up.

 

[culdeus]

I could easily see glossing over this. Plenty of couples aren't religious at all. Go years without going to church, maybe not even easter or xmas. All of a sudden living in a suburb and having kids makes plenty of people religious. Like it is insurance or something. 

No, It's childcare.  Can just zone out for 2 or so hours on a Sunday morning and outsource parenting for a bit while feeling morally superior.  It also helps build social networks and job networks in some sales based careers.  I certainly get why it appeals to a broad section of people.  

 

[Jayrok]

Couple of distant relatives.  It changes.  The entire concept is just so foreign to some people in this part of the world. I honestly think people think that even if the parents are a couple of heathens that they are covered by the golden shower up to like age 18 or so.

Well, golden showers aren't what they're cracked up to be, let me tell you.  

 

[culdeus]

Pretty sure religion should be one of the first things you discuss before having kids.

Why kids?  

 

[shader]

I think you guys are understating the impact of childhood indoctrination.  Some grow out of religion yes.  But the statistics say that many/most do not.  Obviously this depends can depend on how thorough or hardcore the indoctrination is.

Indoctrination is a word that people use to apply towards religion, but the reality is that it applies to many important aspects of life.  If a parent raises a kid with the expectation that the most important thing in life is getting good grades, an elite college education and a very high-paying job, chances are that kid is going to grow up with those goals.

But your basic premise is correct, which is why we have areas of the globe in which entire populations have very similar beliefs/culture.  Religion, culture, the way of life...it quite often gets passed from generation to generation.

And of course this makes sense.  If you believe something very strongly, it makes sense to share that belief with your children.  It would be very odd to not do so.

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

I'm confused....so you are cool with your wife/in-laws bringing your kids to church, but you're not cool with them believing the things they hear there?  

You don't want to bash religion, but want to tell your kids that their grandparents are full of BS? Why is it so bad that they believe in the Easter story or Christ? Just because you don't, but who said you are right either?
 




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I don't think the position is hard to understand.  He thinks they should also hear the other side.  I'm sure my kids will be exposed to the Easter story.  And they'll know that I don't believe in it.  I don't think that has to be a particularly tough or tricky conversation.  "Your Grammy believes in this.  I don't.   Eventually, you'll believe in what makes sense to you."

 

[EYLive]

Pretty sure religion should be one of the first things you discuss before having kids.

Or get married for that matter. Common core values is important for relationships. 

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Why is it important to you that a nine year old child needs to know that the Christian Easter story is not true?  




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Why is it important to others that he believes it?  I can think of a lot of reasons why I might not want my kid exposed to a story about a man being tortured to death.  

 

[culdeus]

Well, and also dating/marriage.

But I think raising a kid with or without religion requires much more agreement between parents. 

That depends on what "without" means in context.  I mean even today what we consider to be "without" is a sliding scale.  

Compared to how I was brought up some people that consider themselves devout have participation levels in active religious services well below what I would consider "with".  

Only 33% of the US say they participate monthly.  This is half of what it was only 30 years ago.  If it wasn't for immigrants it would be even worse.

You can argue all you want about what is "normal" but at the end of the day the normal is to NOT raise kids in church.   I'm not super vocal about it.  If someone asks pointed questions about church I just say we just "do stuff at home along those lines".  

I would fully expect the widespread abandonment of baseline protestant religion in my lifetime.  I think all that will be left are the hardcore fundamental stuff.