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Ministry of Pain

Ministry of Pain

Footballguy
Ham's Lonesome Dove title will be the 1st on my list. I have no idea what that thread is about except the TV show from long ago, and since I never watched the show or series I have no interest in opening that thread.

I've been meaning to put this up for quite some time. This is a thread about other threads that you do not or will not open. This is not about threads you opened and didn't like. You have to honestly say you did not go in them or have no plans on entering them.

 
Ranking women or "who's hottest" polls/threads. 25+ years ago I might have been game...but now (pushing 40), it just seems incredibly sad.

 
I say anything to do with video games, on-line gaming or werewolf. I've kind of grown past video games, on-line gaming outside of WIS baseball doesn't appeal to me and that werewolf stuff I just don't understand. And to be honest, don't want to understand.

 
any draft thread started by Timscrotchet. drafts used to be fun and entertaining, like the russian bride draft or the deadly animal draft. somehow, I don't think that's what's going in those things.

 
Doctor Detroit said:
datonn said:
Ranking women or "who's hottest" polls/threads. 25+ years ago I might have been game...but now (pushing 40), it just seems incredibly sad.
Click to expand...
Looking at hot women is "sad?" Really?When I think that, I'll be dead.
Click to expand...
I don't know a heterosexual man alive who doesn't enjoy looking at beautiful women! That part isn't sad. It's ranking them that is sad...as if "hotness" is some sort of quantifiable set of external measurements. Where people think they can determine how attractive someone is when all you've got to go on is a few .jpgs. "Hotness" to me has more to do with women walking that fine line between confidence and cockiness. Confident in themselves and comfortable in their own skin, without being "cocky" about it and thinking they are all that and a bag of chips. Someone you guys might rate a "6" might be the hottest women alive to me because she's cute and possesses a great self-image, self-confidence, a great sense of humor, et al. Someone you guys might rate a "10" might be as smart as a box of rocks, throw up in the bathroom after meals, and need a man telling her she looks pretty to feel good about herself. But if you can get that from looking at a magazine/website or watching a TV show, concert or movie, you must have 3-4 extra helpings of psychic ability that I seem to be lacking.
 
datonn said:
Doctor Detroit said:
datonn said:
Ranking women or "who's hottest" polls/threads. 25+ years ago I might have been game...but now (pushing 40), it just seems incredibly sad.
Click to expand...
Looking at hot women is "sad?" Really?When I think that, I'll be dead.
Click to expand...
I don't know a heterosexual man alive who doesn't enjoy looking at beautiful women! That part isn't sad. It's ranking them that is sad...as if "hotness" is some sort of quantifiable set of external measurements. Where people think they can determine how attractive someone is when all you've got to go on is a few .jpgs. "Hotness" to me has more to do with women walking that fine line between confidence and cockiness. Confident in themselves and comfortable in their own skin, without being "cocky" about it and thinking they are all that and a bag of chips. Someone you guys might rate a "6" might be the hottest women alive to me because she's cute and possesses a great self-image, self-confidence, a great sense of humor, et al. Someone you guys might rate a "10" might be as smart as a box of rocks, throw up in the bathroom after meals, and need a man telling her she looks pretty to feel good about herself. But if you can get that from looking at a magazine/website or watching a TV show, concert or movie, you must have 3-4 extra helpings of psychic ability that I seem to be lacking.
Click to expand...
:bag:
 
datonn said:
Doctor Detroit said:
datonn said:
Ranking women or "who's hottest" polls/threads. 25+ years ago I might have been game...but now (pushing 40), it just seems incredibly sad.
Click to expand...
Looking at hot women is "sad?" Really?When I think that, I'll be dead.
Click to expand...
I don't know a heterosexual man alive who doesn't enjoy looking at beautiful women! That part isn't sad. It's ranking them that is sad...as if "hotness" is some sort of quantifiable set of external measurements. Where people think they can determine how attractive someone is when all you've got to go on is a few .jpgs. "Hotness" to me has more to do with women walking that fine line between confidence and cockiness. Confident in themselves and comfortable in their own skin, without being "cocky" about it and thinking they are all that and a bag of chips. Someone you guys might rate a "6" might be the hottest women alive to me because she's cute and possesses a great self-image, self-confidence, a great sense of humor, et al. Someone you guys might rate a "10" might be as smart as a box of rocks, throw up in the bathroom after meals, and need a man telling her she looks pretty to feel good about herself. But if you can get that from looking at a magazine/website or watching a TV show, concert or movie, you must have 3-4 extra helpings of psychic ability that I seem to be lacking.
Click to expand...
I don't think it is so much about confidence and cockiness. I think true beauty is really about how likely she is to have sex with me.
 
datonn said:
I don't know a heterosexual man alive who doesn't enjoy looking at beautiful women! That part isn't sad. It's ranking them that is sad...as if "hotness" is some sort of quantifiable set of external measurements. Where people think they can determine how attractive someone is when all you've got to go on is a few .jpgs.

"Hotness" to me has more to do with women walking that fine line between confidence and cockiness. Confident in themselves and comfortable in their own skin, without being "cocky" about it and thinking they are all that and a bag of chips. Someone you guys might rate a "6" might be the hottest women alive to me because she's cute and possesses a great self-image, self-confidence, a great sense of humor, et al. Someone you guys might rate a "10" might be as smart as a box of rocks, throw up in the bathroom after meals, and need a man telling her she looks pretty to feel good about herself.

But if you can get that from looking at a magazine/website or watching a TV show, concert or movie, you must have 3-4 extra helpings of psychic ability that I seem to be lacking.
Click to expand...
:unsure: I knew a couple of girls who upped their rating a couple of points just by having those bolded elements. (IMO, think of Olivia Munn as an example)
 
Werewolf, which is people talking endlessly about nothing and seemingly never coming to a conclusion, and reality show threads, which are people talking about dumb, untalented people bickering about inconsequential stuff.

 
Any thread with over 1,000 replies. Probably everything, pertinent or not, has been stated. 999 maybe, but not 1,000 or more.

 
Any thread that has to do with weightlifting or the best way to lose weight. Everyone's got their own way to do it and, unless you're hardcore, others won't follow your system.

1. Drink a ton of water-I drink 4 gallons of water a day. I always make sure to tape a water bottle to my face so I can sip on it in between the gallons.

2. Eat 32 small meals a day. I eat some oatmeal at 7:12 then follow it up with a handful of almonds and 2 tablespoons of yogurt at 8:19. For lunch I nibble the crust of the bread, eat an apple and some yogurt with a handful of almonds. At 2:36 I eat a handful of almonds, fill a bathtub with water then drink it followed by a chaser of a handful of almonds. At 4:37 I eat my pre-supper which consists of half an apple, some figs and a handful of almonds. For supper I keep it light with some white chicken, half an avocado and a handful of almonds. During sleep time I have a system where I leave a handful of almonds on my pillow so I can grab one with my tongue each 27 minutes until I awake.

3. DON'T EAT UNTIL AFTER YOU WORKOUT otherwise your working out will have no affect at all. If you jog before working out your workout will have gone to waste and you actually become obese. You must make sure you don't eat from 7:13pm the following evening then jog at 5:12 on an empty stomach.

4. You need to jump from the treadmill do some lat pulldowns, run around the gym as fast as you can for 25 minutes, do 2 sets of tris, 3 sets of lumbar push-ins and 5 sets of omni-squats. If you don't do this routine it doesn't matter how many handfuls of almonds you eat. You will wither into a weak human or become obese.

5. Give yourself a cheat day. Once every 3 months I allow myself a slice of pizza.

 
Cunk said:
Any thread that has to do with weightlifting or the best way to lose weight. Everyone's got their own way to do it and, unless you're hardcore, others won't follow your system. 1. Drink a ton of water-I drink 4 gallons of water a day. I always make sure to tape a water bottle to my face so I can sip on it in between the gallons.2. Eat 32 small meals a day. I eat some oatmeal at 7:12 then follow it up with a handful of almonds and 2 tablespoons of yogurt at 8:19. For lunch I nibble the crust of the bread, eat an apple and some yogurt with a handful of almonds. At 2:36 I eat a handful of almonds, fill a bathtub with water then drink it followed by a chaser of a handful of almonds. At 4:37 I eat my pre-supper which consists of half an apple, some figs and a handful of almonds. For supper I keep it light with some white chicken, half an avocado and a handful of almonds. During sleep time I have a system where I leave a handful of almonds on my pillow so I can grab one with my tongue each 27 minutes until I awake.3. DON'T EAT UNTIL AFTER YOU WORKOUT otherwise your working out will have no affect at all. If you jog before working out your workout will have gone to waste and you actually become obese. You must make sure you don't eat from 7:13pm the following evening then jog at 5:12 on an empty stomach. 4. You need to jump from the treadmill do some lat pulldowns, run around the gym as fast as you can for 25 minutes, do 2 sets of tris, 3 sets of lumbar push-ins and 5 sets of omni-squats. If you don't do this routine it doesn't matter how many handfuls of almonds you eat. You will wither into a weak human or become obese.5. Give yourself a cheat day. Once every 3 months I allow myself a slice of pizza.
Click to expand...
:goodposting:
 
Never opened a werewolf thread.

Have no idea what is going on in that 10K race thread but it is always growing and it's too large to delve into at this point.

Usually if a thread gets too big before I have opened it and the subject isn't pertinent to me, I won't bother.

 
Ministry of Pain said:
Ham's Lonesome Dove title will be the 1st on my list. I have no idea what that thread is about except the TV show from long ago, and since I never watched the show or series I have no interest in opening that thread. I've been meaning to put this up for quite some time. This is a thread about other threads that you do not or will not open. This is not about threads you opened and didn't like. You have to honestly say you did not go in them or have no plans on entering them.
Click to expand...
It's about one of the great American novels and one of the most critically acclaimed miniseries ever made. It doesn't surprise me that you have no interest.
 
Bob Lee Swagger said:
Cunk said:
Any thread that has to do with weightlifting or the best way to lose weight. Everyone's got their own way to do it and, unless you're hardcore, others won't follow your system. 1. Drink a ton of water-I drink 4 gallons of water a day. I always make sure to tape a water bottle to my face so I can sip on it in between the gallons.2. Eat 32 small meals a day. I eat some oatmeal at 7:12 then follow it up with a handful of almonds and 2 tablespoons of yogurt at 8:19. For lunch I nibble the crust of the bread, eat an apple and some yogurt with a handful of almonds. At 2:36 I eat a handful of almonds, fill a bathtub with water then drink it followed by a chaser of a handful of almonds. At 4:37 I eat my pre-supper which consists of half an apple, some figs and a handful of almonds. For supper I keep it light with some white chicken, half an avocado and a handful of almonds. During sleep time I have a system where I leave a handful of almonds on my pillow so I can grab one with my tongue each 27 minutes until I awake.3. DON'T EAT UNTIL AFTER YOU WORKOUT otherwise your working out will have no affect at all. If you jog before working out your workout will have gone to waste and you actually become obese. You must make sure you don't eat from 7:13pm the following evening then jog at 5:12 on an empty stomach. 4. You need to jump from the treadmill do some lat pulldowns, run around the gym as fast as you can for 25 minutes, do 2 sets of tris, 3 sets of lumbar push-ins and 5 sets of omni-squats. If you don't do this routine it doesn't matter how many handfuls of almonds you eat. You will wither into a weak human or become obese.5. Give yourself a cheat day. Once every 3 months I allow myself a slice of pizza.
Click to expand...
:shrug:
Click to expand...
:angry: :rant:
 
bentley said:
Ministry of Pain said:
Ham's Lonesome Dove title will be the 1st on my list. I have no idea what that thread is about except the TV show from long ago, and since I never watched the show or series I have no interest in opening that thread. I've been meaning to put this up for quite some time. This is a thread about other threads that you do not or will not open. This is not about threads you opened and didn't like. You have to honestly say you did not go in them or have no plans on entering them.
Click to expand...
It's about one of the great American novels and one of the most critically acclaimed miniseries ever made. It doesn't surprise me that you have no interest.
Click to expand...
:shrug:
 
Cunk said:
Any thread that has to do with weightlifting or the best way to lose weight. Everyone's got their own way to do it and, unless you're hardcore, others won't follow your system. 1. Drink a ton of water-I drink 4 gallons of water a day. I always make sure to tape a water bottle to my face so I can sip on it in between the gallons.2. Eat 32 small meals a day. I eat some oatmeal at 7:12 then follow it up with a handful of almonds and 2 tablespoons of yogurt at 8:19. For lunch I nibble the crust of the bread, eat an apple and some yogurt with a handful of almonds. At 2:36 I eat a handful of almonds, fill a bathtub with water then drink it followed by a chaser of a handful of almonds. At 4:37 I eat my pre-supper which consists of half an apple, some figs and a handful of almonds. For supper I keep it light with some white chicken, half an avocado and a handful of almonds. During sleep time I have a system where I leave a handful of almonds on my pillow so I can grab one with my tongue each 27 minutes until I awake.3. DON'T EAT UNTIL AFTER YOU WORKOUT otherwise your working out will have no affect at all. If you jog before working out your workout will have gone to waste and you actually become obese. You must make sure you don't eat from 7:13pm the following evening then jog at 5:12 on an empty stomach. 4. You need to jump from the treadmill do some lat pulldowns, run around the gym as fast as you can for 25 minutes, do 2 sets of tris, 3 sets of lumbar push-ins and 5 sets of omni-squats. If you don't do this routine it doesn't matter how many handfuls of almonds you eat. You will wither into a weak human or become obese.5. Give yourself a cheat day. Once every 3 months I allow myself a slice of pizza.
Click to expand...
This is Broscience 101, brah.
 
HughHoney said:
Threads about nothing.Threads that are inside jokes with a bunch of unfunny people in it laughing at each other.
Click to expand...
How would you know if you've never opened it?This reminds me of when SenatorBlutarsky71 tried to tell everyone over at KATZ that he didn't read the Updates and Downdates thread. The next day PapaSurf caught him quoting directly from it on his Facebook.
 
Ministry of Pain said:
Bob Lee Swagger said:
Cunk said:
Any thread that has to do with weightlifting or the best way to lose weight. Everyone's got their own way to do it and, unless you're hardcore, others won't follow your system. 1. Drink a ton of water-I drink 4 gallons of water a day. I always make sure to tape a water bottle to my face so I can sip on it in between the gallons.2. Eat 32 small meals a day. I eat some oatmeal at 7:12 then follow it up with a handful of almonds and 2 tablespoons of yogurt at 8:19. For lunch I nibble the crust of the bread, eat an apple and some yogurt with a handful of almonds. At 2:36 I eat a handful of almonds, fill a bathtub with water then drink it followed by a chaser of a handful of almonds. At 4:37 I eat my pre-supper which consists of half an apple, some figs and a handful of almonds. For supper I keep it light with some white chicken, half an avocado and a handful of almonds. During sleep time I have a system where I leave a handful of almonds on my pillow so I can grab one with my tongue each 27 minutes until I awake.3. DON'T EAT UNTIL AFTER YOU WORKOUT otherwise your working out will have no affect at all. If you jog before working out your workout will have gone to waste and you actually become obese. You must make sure you don't eat from 7:13pm the following evening then jog at 5:12 on an empty stomach. 4. You need to jump from the treadmill do some lat pulldowns, run around the gym as fast as you can for 25 minutes, do 2 sets of tris, 3 sets of lumbar push-ins and 5 sets of omni-squats. If you don't do this routine it doesn't matter how many handfuls of almonds you eat. You will wither into a weak human or become obese.5. Give yourself a cheat day. Once every 3 months I allow myself a slice of pizza.
Click to expand...
:lmao:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:Hardest Ive laughed in a while. 5 stars.
 
That Little Voice said:
Ministry of Pain said:
Bob Lee Swagger said:
Cunk said:
Any thread that has to do with weightlifting or the best way to lose weight. Everyone's got their own way to do it and, unless you're hardcore, others won't follow your system. 1. Drink a ton of water-I drink 4 gallons of water a day. I always make sure to tape a water bottle to my face so I can sip on it in between the gallons.2. Eat 32 small meals a day. I eat some oatmeal at 7:12 then follow it up with a handful of almonds and 2 tablespoons of yogurt at 8:19. For lunch I nibble the crust of the bread, eat an apple and some yogurt with a handful of almonds. At 2:36 I eat a handful of almonds, fill a bathtub with water then drink it followed by a chaser of a handful of almonds. At 4:37 I eat my pre-supper which consists of half an apple, some figs and a handful of almonds. For supper I keep it light with some white chicken, half an avocado and a handful of almonds. During sleep time I have a system where I leave a handful of almonds on my pillow so I can grab one with my tongue each 27 minutes until I awake.3. DON'T EAT UNTIL AFTER YOU WORKOUT otherwise your working out will have no affect at all. If you jog before working out your workout will have gone to waste and you actually become obese. You must make sure you don't eat from 7:13pm the following evening then jog at 5:12 on an empty stomach. 4. You need to jump from the treadmill do some lat pulldowns, run around the gym as fast as you can for 25 minutes, do 2 sets of tris, 3 sets of lumbar push-ins and 5 sets of omni-squats. If you don't do this routine it doesn't matter how many handfuls of almonds you eat. You will wither into a weak human or become obese.5. Give yourself a cheat day. Once every 3 months I allow myself a slice of pizza.
Click to expand...
:thumbup:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:Hardest Ive laughed in a while. 5 stars.
Click to expand...
I rarely lol when on the internets until this one
 
The autobiographical threads started by certain prolific posters. Really, it's pretty much the same stuff that happens to everybody.

 
Scrooloose said:
That Little Voice said:
Ministry of Pain said:
Bob Lee Swagger said:
Cunk said:
Any thread that has to do with weightlifting or the best way to lose weight. Everyone's got their own way to do it and, unless you're hardcore, others won't follow your system. 1. Drink a ton of water-I drink 4 gallons of water a day. I always make sure to tape a water bottle to my face so I can sip on it in between the gallons.2. Eat 32 small meals a day. I eat some oatmeal at 7:12 then follow it up with a handful of almonds and 2 tablespoons of yogurt at 8:19. For lunch I nibble the crust of the bread, eat an apple and some yogurt with a handful of almonds. At 2:36 I eat a handful of almonds, fill a bathtub with water then drink it followed by a chaser of a handful of almonds. At 4:37 I eat my pre-supper which consists of half an apple, some figs and a handful of almonds. For supper I keep it light with some white chicken, half an avocado and a handful of almonds. During sleep time I have a system where I leave a handful of almonds on my pillow so I can grab one with my tongue each 27 minutes until I awake.3. DON'T EAT UNTIL AFTER YOU WORKOUT otherwise your working out will have no affect at all. If you jog before working out your workout will have gone to waste and you actually become obese. You must make sure you don't eat from 7:13pm the following evening then jog at 5:12 on an empty stomach. 4. You need to jump from the treadmill do some lat pulldowns, run around the gym as fast as you can for 25 minutes, do 2 sets of tris, 3 sets of lumbar push-ins and 5 sets of omni-squats. If you don't do this routine it doesn't matter how many handfuls of almonds you eat. You will wither into a weak human or become obese.5. Give yourself a cheat day. Once every 3 months I allow myself a slice of pizza.
Click to expand...
:bag:
Click to expand...
:thumbup: :lmao:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:Hardest Ive laughed in a while. 5 stars.
Click to expand...
I rarely lol when on the internets until this one
Click to expand...
:lmao:That's one of the best parodies I've read in a while. Every single one of those threads goes exactly like that.
 
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