St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I'll give you $20 for this screen name.
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.
Vasectomy in the AM... (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter firecrackerfreakshow
- Start date
wraith5
Footballguy
Didn't read the whole thread, so I came in here to vent.
A friend of mine (6'5", 220+, solid muscle, my wife likes to flirt with him), had a vasectomy a few weeks ago on a Thursday. He coaches high school football, and was on the sideline for their game the next evening. He totally ruined my plan of milking the thing for an entire weekend on the couch in front of the TV, unless I'm willing to totally emasculate myself in comparison.
dancingbones
Footballguy
I'd recommend giving yourself a break for a week (or even more). It was quite uncomfortable the first time the Mrs. & I took the post surgery equipment for a test drive. In particular, one of her favored positions had our bodies bumping each other in a way that was quite painful for me until everything healed up completely. The mental bummer of "what have I gone & done" had me wish I'd just given it a little more time.You're married, it's not like a week or two with no sex is a revolutionary idea. Give yourself some time to heal up.
Also, I had no problem driving myself home (actually to the grocery store to get some frozen peas). Take the day off work tomorrow, give yourself the weekend to kick back on the couch with some football games and some vicodin, and relax.
wraith5
Footballguy
My boys are 18 months part - now 3 and 4 - and I would have had more if we had more time (wife turned 40 and said we're done). When they aren't hitting each other (and actually sometimes during) they are becoming good friends. Definitely challenging but nowhere near "suicide watch."
wraith5
Footballguy
Nevermind the secks - how long until you can get back on the bike?!?
culdeus
Footballguy
I've asked around. Some say can get on a trainer in as little as a week, and outside in 2. That seems to be the consensus. It varies though. I'm not really getting ready for anything right now so it's fairly good timing.
:X and 
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
I think I've found my schtick. I seem to get this response everytime I post about my wife.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
And it only took what, 8, 9, years.I think I've found my schtick. I seem to get this response everytime I post about my wife.Didn't read the whole thread, so I came in here to vent.
A friend of mine (6'5", 220+, solid muscle, my wife likes to flirt with him), had a vasectomy a few weeks ago on a Thursday. He coaches high school football, and was on the sideline for their game the next evening. He totally ruined my plan of milking the thing for an entire weekend on the couch in front of the TV, unless I'm willing to totally emasculate myself in comparison.
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
And it only took what, 8, 9, years.I think I've found my schtick. I seem to get this response everytime I post about my wife.Didn't read the whole thread, so I came in here to vent.
A friend of mine (6'5", 220+, solid muscle, my wife likes to flirt with him), had a vasectomy a few weeks ago on a Thursday. He coaches high school football, and was on the sideline for their game the next evening. He totally ruined my plan of milking the thing for an entire weekend on the couch in front of the TV, unless I'm willing to totally emasculate myself in comparison.
Morton Muffley
Footballguy
Had mine done 2 weeks ago...definitely recommend taking the weekend on the couch.
My brother had his procedure done a year before me and he said he felt fine the next day, coached his kids football game and then was in sever pain for a week. Scared the hell out of me and a mutual friend of ours who played football with my brother in high school. he told me "dude, I played football with him for four years. He was the toughest SOB I've ever seen. If this surgery did this to him then we are screwed. Our only hope is that he did this to himself by being too much of a tough guy the day after the surgery."
Well, having consigned myself to the couch for two days I can attest that discretion really is the better part of valor. Remain on the couch!!! I don't care how good you feel. How don't care how much grief your wife/friends/kids give you...STAY ON THE COUCH! You won't regret the two days on the couch, but you may regret it if you don't. And to anyone whose wife isn't cool with two days on the couch, I'd suggest you get a new wife. Seriously, sympathy/empathy are the cornerstones of a good relationship. If she can't do that for a few days then you are with the wrong person.
Now, to the fun stuff. After the procedure the doctor and I have the following exchange:
Doctor: Try to stay off your feet for at least 24 hours...48 would be even better
Me: OK, that's the plan
Doctor: Good. When you can walk without pain, then you can exercise. When you can exercise without pain, then you have secks.
Me: Doc, I couldn't exercise without pain BEFORE I got here.
[Doctor smiles; Nurse chuckles; I'm feeling relieved that the procedure is over, a little punchy]
Doctor: OK, well then use your best judgment on the secks
Me: Doc, forget about the secks...I've been married for twelve years...the more important question is 'when can I start masturbating again?'
[Nurse immediately turns and leaves the room as she tries to maintain a sense of professionalism and is having troubling containing her laughter. I SOO could have had her!]
My brother had his procedure done a year before me and he said he felt fine the next day, coached his kids football game and then was in sever pain for a week. Scared the hell out of me and a mutual friend of ours who played football with my brother in high school. he told me "dude, I played football with him for four years. He was the toughest SOB I've ever seen. If this surgery did this to him then we are screwed. Our only hope is that he did this to himself by being too much of a tough guy the day after the surgery."
Well, having consigned myself to the couch for two days I can attest that discretion really is the better part of valor. Remain on the couch!!! I don't care how good you feel. How don't care how much grief your wife/friends/kids give you...STAY ON THE COUCH! You won't regret the two days on the couch, but you may regret it if you don't. And to anyone whose wife isn't cool with two days on the couch, I'd suggest you get a new wife. Seriously, sympathy/empathy are the cornerstones of a good relationship. If she can't do that for a few days then you are with the wrong person.
Now, to the fun stuff. After the procedure the doctor and I have the following exchange:
Doctor: Try to stay off your feet for at least 24 hours...48 would be even better
Me: OK, that's the plan
Doctor: Good. When you can walk without pain, then you can exercise. When you can exercise without pain, then you have secks.
Me: Doc, I couldn't exercise without pain BEFORE I got here.
[Doctor smiles; Nurse chuckles; I'm feeling relieved that the procedure is over, a little punchy]
Doctor: OK, well then use your best judgment on the secks
Me: Doc, forget about the secks...I've been married for twelve years...the more important question is 'when can I start masturbating again?'
[Nurse immediately turns and leaves the room as she tries to maintain a sense of professionalism and is having troubling containing her laughter. I SOO could have had her!]
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Better yet just make the wife get her tubes tied instead. Doesn't make sense for a man to get clipped.
wraith5
Footballguy
Now, to the fun stuff. After the procedure the doctor and I have the following exchange
On a serious note, the first, um, discharge I had contained some blood. Scared the hell out of me and I barely contained the urge to dial 911 and just called the docs office instead. Was told by the (female) nurse that it's fairly common and nothing to worry about. It was the only time it happened but I'm pretty sure I'm still emotionally scarred.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
why on god's green earth would any married man subject themselves to this?
=Smackdown=
Footballguy
Morton Muffley said:Now, to the fun stuff. After the procedure the doctor and I have the following exchange
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
-Don't want more kids.-Condoms suck.-Wife taking the pill forever isn't realistic.-Surgical options for women are move invasive.You have a better permanent, 100% effective alternative?
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Have your wife get her tubes tied. And the "wife taking the pill forever isn't realistic" is bull####.
wraith5
Footballguy
Dear Lord let it go, man.
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
Did you miss the part about how a woman getting her tubes tied is a more invasive procedure?Edited to add, as far as the pill, I'd rather not take the pill everyday for the rest of my life. Why would I ask the wife to do the same? Even if there was a pill for men, I'd rather have a weekend of discomfort than to have to worry about that.
Last edited by a moderator:
Bob Wiley
Footballguy
Seriously?
Are you serious? Are you even married?Yeah, after my wife delivered two beautiful daughters for me, I'm going to step up and tell her to have a serious surgery for my benefit.Unreal.
Even that is serious. It's a whole different group of doctors that are required.
culdeus
Footballguy
really? had no idea. Well, that's the only way I've heard of it being done recently. it is amazing how long peas stay frozen.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Think some of you are confusing getting your tubes tied with a hysterectomy.
pigskinliquors
Dr. Parrothead
I preferred corn. Glad to hear all's well!
Incorrect. I was there when my wife asked about getting her tubes tied.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Easiest method
There are new hormonal methods such as the Patch or the Contraceptive Ring that are as effective as the pill and you don’t have to think about them every day. Intrauterine Devices (IUDs) are also good choices, particularly for women in long-term relationships. IUDs provide contraception for up to five years at a time and may offer side-benefits such as lighter periods.
There are new hormonal methods such as the Patch or the Contraceptive Ring that are as effective as the pill and you don’t have to think about them every day. Intrauterine Devices (IUDs) are also good choices, particularly for women in long-term relationships. IUDs provide contraception for up to five years at a time and may offer side-benefits such as lighter periods.
IGKYA!!!
Footballguy
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
Wife has one right now. I can tell you first hand this is not universal. Her is longer than pre-IUD, which of course sucks.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Vasectomy is not 100% effective
=Smackdown=
Footballguy
That's why it's crucial to get tested 6-8 weeks after the procedure is done.You got kids? I'm guessing no.Experience your wife giving birth to a few kids first and then get back to us.Vasectomy is not 100% effective
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Good thing you don't play blackjack or you would have just lost your bet.two kids and experienced both birthsThat's why it's crucial to get tested 6-8 weeks after the procedure is done.You got kids? I'm guessing no.Experience your wife giving birth to a few kids first and then get back to us.Vasectomy is not 100% effective
Last edited by a moderator:
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
So what is it then? Selfish? Insensitive? Spurned?
glumpy
breeze
The deed is done. First morning report: Excellent!! I think I got lucky; even woke with wood.
Got prepared yesterday morning--was all worried about it so pulled all stops. Made sure to take care of business in the morning so there was no extra pressure on during the operation; smoked and had a couple brews first, and then the doc had set me up with valium an hour before so I'd be relaxed going in. Got into the office to find that he was going to use me as a training class for an intern--so there were three in there, including the nurse, playing with the boys. I think that might have been the best thing--Doc was teaching all the way through, giving directions, explaining what was about, taking his time layer by layer (like "peeling an onion"). Zero pain and minimal pressure.
Zero swelling this morning! I really didn't even follow all rules--had the beer handy and definitely took advantage of that; had the peas, corn, and two instafreeze packs they gave me at the hospital and only used them for a couple hours--taking them off when my daughter got home from school. Took two advil twice, and then once this morning--he had recommended four, three times/day, but I don't do well with that much medicine so I think I'm not so conditioned to it, and less generally works well by me. Not much drainage--well within expectations, and seems to have stopped.
The girls are wanting to go the State Fair this morning, and I've been pushing against that--but I think now I'll try it. Daughter's got a friend who wants to join so she'll have someone else to do rides with, and I can sit back and relax while my wife does the running. Should be good times.
Got prepared yesterday morning--was all worried about it so pulled all stops. Made sure to take care of business in the morning so there was no extra pressure on during the operation; smoked and had a couple brews first, and then the doc had set me up with valium an hour before so I'd be relaxed going in. Got into the office to find that he was going to use me as a training class for an intern--so there were three in there, including the nurse, playing with the boys. I think that might have been the best thing--Doc was teaching all the way through, giving directions, explaining what was about, taking his time layer by layer (like "peeling an onion"). Zero pain and minimal pressure.
Zero swelling this morning!
I really didn't even follow all rules--had the beer handy and definitely took advantage of that; had the peas, corn, and two instafreeze packs they gave me at the hospital and only used them for a couple hours--taking them off when my daughter got home from school. Took two advil twice, and then once this morning--he had recommended four, three times/day, but I don't do well with that much medicine so I think I'm not so conditioned to it, and less generally works well by me. Not much drainage--well within expectations, and seems to have stopped.The girls are wanting to go the State Fair this morning, and I've been pushing against that--but I think now I'll try it. Daughter's got a friend who wants to join so she'll have someone else to do rides with, and I can sit back and relax while my wife does the running. Should be good times.
dancingbones
Footballguy
Good to hear it is going well.The deed is done. First morning report: Excellent!! I think I got lucky; even woke with wood.
Got prepared yesterday morning--was all worried about it so pulled all stops. Made sure to take care of business in the morning so there was no extra pressure on during the operation; smoked and had a couple brews first, and then the doc had set me up with valium an hour before so I'd be relaxed going in. Got into the office to find that he was going to use me as a training class for an intern--so there were three in there, including the nurse, playing with the boys. I think that might have been the best thing--Doc was teaching all the way through, giving directions, explaining what was about, taking his time layer by layer (like "peeling an onion"). Zero pain and minimal pressure.
Zero swelling this morning!
The girls are wanting to go the State Fair this morning, and I've been pushing against that--but I think now I'll try it. Daughter's got a friend who wants to join so she'll have someone else to do rides with, and I can sit back and relax while my wife does the running. Should be good times.
I sure wouldn't go walk around a State Fair, but that's just me.
glumpy
breeze
I wouldn't have either--and certainly wouldn't recommend it--if it wasn't for the overall situation. We actually held off until Sunday, as both my wife and I ended up having to go into work Saturday (mine was a quick review and rescue; hers was full shift). That worked out pretty well; by the end of the Fair day there was a little swelling--but minimal enough where two ibuprofins set things back in order. Really feeling fortunate right now! :knockonwood:Good to hear it is going well.The deed is done. First morning report: Excellent!! I think I got lucky; even woke with wood.
Got prepared yesterday morning--was all worried about it so pulled all stops. Made sure to take care of business in the morning so there was no extra pressure on during the operation; smoked and had a couple brews first, and then the doc had set me up with valium an hour before so I'd be relaxed going in. Got into the office to find that he was going to use me as a training class for an intern--so there were three in there, including the nurse, playing with the boys. I think that might have been the best thing--Doc was teaching all the way through, giving directions, explaining what was about, taking his time layer by layer (like "peeling an onion"). Zero pain and minimal pressure.
Zero swelling this morning!
The girls are wanting to go the State Fair this morning, and I've been pushing against that--but I think now I'll try it. Daughter's got a friend who wants to join so she'll have someone else to do rides with, and I can sit back and relax while my wife does the running. Should be good times.I sure wouldn't go walk around a State Fair, but that's just me.
=Smackdown=
Footballguy
Good to hear everything worked out.Looks like I'm on deck - my appointment is set for Friday November 20th.I wouldn't have either--and certainly wouldn't recommend it--if it wasn't for the overall situation. We actually held off until Sunday, as both my wife and I ended up having to go into work Saturday (mine was a quick review and rescue; hers was full shift). That worked out pretty well; by the end of the Fair day there was a little swelling--but minimal enough where two ibuprofins set things back in order. Really feeling fortunate right now! :knockonwood:Good to hear it is going well.The deed is done. First morning report: Excellent!! I think I got lucky; even woke with wood.
Got prepared yesterday morning--was all worried about it so pulled all stops. Made sure to take care of business in the morning so there was no extra pressure on during the operation; smoked and had a couple brews first, and then the doc had set me up with valium an hour before so I'd be relaxed going in. Got into the office to find that he was going to use me as a training class for an intern--so there were three in there, including the nurse, playing with the boys. I think that might have been the best thing--Doc was teaching all the way through, giving directions, explaining what was about, taking his time layer by layer (like "peeling an onion"). Zero pain and minimal pressure.
Zero swelling this morning!
The girls are wanting to go the State Fair this morning, and I've been pushing against that--but I think now I'll try it. Daughter's got a friend who wants to join so she'll have someone else to do rides with, and I can sit back and relax while my wife does the running. Should be good times.I sure wouldn't go walk around a State Fair, but that's just me.
rick6668
Footballguy
Had mine today, I'll be on the couch all weekend.
Socrates11
Footballguy
I'm getting "the procedure" in a week. Can I drive myself home, or will I need the wife to do it?
=Smackdown=
Footballguy
I'm having my done a week from today too.I'm getting knocked out for it - and it was advised I don't drive home.Socrates11 said:
crnerblitz
Footballguy
Had it done Thursday. Told the Doc I have a very low threshold for pain and Bigo he gave me the happy pills. My boys are still somewhat tender but that might be due to their larger than normal size. Anyway I'm on the couch all weekend with some slight soreness down there. My sack seems to itch more than normal and I have been trying not to do too much scratching down there because well I don't think its a good idea. Oops time for my happy pill
culdeus
Footballguy
oh for ####s sake.
Socrates11
Footballguy
Leaving for the procedure in 10 mins. I wonder if this is how they feel on death row...
:(
:(
=Smackdown=
Footballguy
It is done - had the procedure done this morning.
Why anyone would want to be awake for this I'll never understand.
I got knocked out - I woke up and asked when they were going to start and someone responded it's done already.
Got a frozen bag of peas against the giblets and enough Vicoden to bring me into Sunday night.
No pain yet - wil report back.
Why anyone would want to be awake for this I'll never understand.
I got knocked out - I woke up and asked when they were going to start and someone responded it's done already.
Got a frozen bag of peas against the giblets and enough Vicoden to bring me into Sunday night.
No pain yet - wil report back.
Similar threads
