I obviously had an opinion when I started this thread but wanted to just present the story without my feelings on the topic first.
I feel pretty confident nothing about this was a turn on to her once she put her hands on his shoulders and he pinned her. Not sure why her liking him carrying her to the room is a factor. She was also turned on by the kissing on the couch. She still has every right to stop him at any point regardless of what has taken place prior. Being pushed away is the same as saying no in my book so if you feel differently then that's your opinion but you won't change mine.
I am pretty willing to accept any pov from rape to the guy is a total ### clown that knew she wasn't into it. I can't however buy into the fact that she was into it. I have spoken to her in person so I have the benefit of that while others do not.
Girl is not into drama that I can tell. Her life is not a mess and she has only told me and one other person about that night so I don't think she is looking for attention.
I find it worrisome that so many people start to question the girl so easily. I guess the amount of limited information is the problem. No doubt she used terrible judgement. However you want to talk about mixed signals is fine but pinning a girls arms because she tries to stop you then ramming it inside of her is not acceptable. Might not be legally called rape but he forced her to do something against her will. I also said I believe had he stopped and had nice pillow talk and began to work her, there is a good chance she gives consent, but that's not what he did. She said once she pinned her and rammed it in she was afraid to try and stop him. I don't feel like she is trying to make herself feel better about that night by skewing the events in her favor I actually felt like she was trying to paint him in a better way than he deserved. I think she doesn't want to admit to herself exactly what happened in my opinion.
She said she had feelings for the guy so maybe that's why she called him a year later. I am not for sure and I don't see me bringing this up unless she initiates it. That is my main issue with everything. I think it might be like why a battered woman keeps going back to her man type of thing.
I'll stick to my same argument for those somewhat defending his actions. Imagine this happened to your daughter or sister. What might change then?
I think the bolded is where most have an issue calling this rape, though those folks (myself included) are in the minority.
I do not think that she wanted it or that she invited it. Hell, I think she could have willingly consented and then changed her mind halfway through and said stop and dude should jump off the bed immediately.
And I personally think this guy was far too aggressive and I am willing to believe that she did "freeze" during the act and was afraid to protest.
Where the grey area exists for me is what was going on the in the head of the dude. I can't say from the OP whether he thought he was being a romantic, take-charge guy or whether he was trying to quickly and forcefully close the deal. Had she said no at any point during or after being carried up to her room, then this would be a slam-dunk case of date rape. By not doing so, she might not have hit this dude over the head with the fact that he was crossing a line.
So all I am saying is I allow for the possibility that this dude was just missing signals that seem clear in this thread. That possibility is enough for me not to call him a rapist based on the info we have. It does not in any way lessen the impact of this event on her or put her at blame for anything. But calling someone a rapist is a very serious charge and should exclude the possibility that the person in question was just a #######. And saying no, I don't want this would have excluded that possibility.