Was this date rape? (1 Viewer)

[johnnycakes]

I have a vision of her laughing and giggling all the way while he carried her up the stairs, her struggling to utter. "Oooohhhh, Derek, I don't think this is such a good idea right now.... Wooooh hooooh hooooh... I mean you better put me down." So Derek does put her down... On the bed and starts undressing her while she giggles away and tries to sit up, only to be layed back down and ravished. Classic case of remorse after the fact getting labeled rape.

 

[Bucky86]

I had a close friend who was raped. She never said no either. Felt like she couldn't for whatever reason. From the way she described it, no probably wouldn't have stopped anything. I think being quiet and trying to go away mentally isn't that uncommon.

Absent brute force from an unknown assailant, it can't possibly be construed as rape if the woman doesn't attempt to resist verbally or physically.

I disagree. I might not have a few years ago. But life has a way of changing beliefs.

Explain how it's possible consider it rape if the woman is conscious/alert and does not object?

You're moving the bar.

Agree.

I took this from a Rape crisis center website:

Seems like the OP's friend might have used the "freeze" response as her way of protecting herself. Seems like the "disorientation" he describes her mentioning makes a lot of sense.

I. ATTACK

[SIZE=12pt]During the attack, survivors often:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]Fight, Flight, or Freeze [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]– while everyone thinks they would fight or run away, survivors often freeze in response [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]to an attack. They do this to survive and to avoid further injury. Often victims are paralyzed by fear, and cannot [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]take any action at all for fear that they could be hurt or killed. [/SIZE]

• [SIZE=12pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]Disorientation [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]during the attack may feel like being outside of oneself, and often helps victims to dissociate [/SIZE]
  
  [SIZE=12pt]themselves from fear and pain they are experiencing. [/SIZE]
  
• [SIZE=12pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]Focus on survival [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]allows victims to get do things they might not ever have done, and things that may seem odd in [/SIZE]
  
  [SIZE=12pt]retrospect. However, the desire to survive and get away from the attacker can lead victims to do whatever is necessary to live through the attack. [/SIZE]
  

 

[Otis]

Does the guy know she felt violated? It could have been rape, but the guy had no idea.

This is my difficulty here too. If she never said no and never communicated she wasn't consenting, you could imagine this being perceived as just a "hot" moment (she even described it that way after the fact), and maybe things just got physical.

So how do you pin a guy for rape on those facts?

Not blaming her and it sounds like an awful situation, but she should have said no.

 

[Otis]

I have a vision of her laughing and giggling all the way while he carried her up the stairs, her struggling to utter. "Oooohhhh, Derek, I don't think this is such a good idea right now.... Wooooh hooooh hooooh... I mean you better put me down." So Derek does put her down... On the bed and starts undressing her while she giggles away and tries to sit up, only to be layed back down and ravished. Classic case of remorse after the fact getting labeled rape.

Not out of the realm of possibility based on the facts provided.

 

[Bucky86]

Seems to be a lot of people glossing over the fact he pinned her hands across her chest and proceeded to have intercourse with her.

 

[Otis]

Only hearing her version and actually one level further out.

She doesn't consider it rape.

She never said no and did nothing to stop him.

She didn't do anything during the swept away King Kong/Officer and Gentleman carry up the stairs.

Sorry but I don't consider this rape. Aggressive yes...but how is dude supposed to know she wasn't down?

Yeah. I'm all for protecting women above all else and erring on their side in these things, but the minute you start prosecuting men for not being able to read women's minds, we are all hosed.

 

[Otis]

Seems to be a lot of people glossing over the fact he pinned her hands across her chest and proceeded to have intercourse with her.

You stick exclusively to missionary, with limited touching?

 

[Otis]

Seems to be a lot of people glossing over the fact he pinned her hands across her chest and proceeded to have intercourse with her.

You stick exclusively to missionary, with limited touching?

 

[Bucky86]

Seems to be a lot of people glossing over the fact he pinned her hands across her chest and proceeded to have intercourse with her.

You stick exclusively to missionary, with limited touching?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Seems to be a lot of people glossing over the fact he pinned her hands across her chest and proceeded to have intercourse with her.

You stick exclusively to missionary, with limited touching?

That's where the hole in our sheet is.

 

[AAABatteries]

Seems to be a lot of people glossing over the fact he pinned her hands across her chest and proceeded to have intercourse with her.

Her arms were pinned and he pinned her arms may be similar wording but I see a difference. Maybe the dude was a little drunk and is hefty and her arms were stuck accidentally.

 

[Dippa]

She honestly didn't paint it as a forced situation, and just talked about it being one of the worst nights of her life, biggest regret...etc. I was the one that said that it sounded like date rape. She just replied with "kinda".

I've dated a couple of women who have been raped, and it messed them up bad emotionally. No offense, but I have a hard time buying that she's still in denial 5 years later and you just cracked the case. It's not generally something where she just looks back years later and says "Well, maybe I was raped". She knows, and I'd guess the reason that she didn't paint it as a forced situation is because it really wasn't.

It's not like she has any reason to protect the guy at this point.

 

[Arsenal of Doom]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

 

[whiskey7]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

 

[fatness]

She definitely wasn't into it. If you read carefully you will see that. As far as afterward. She left within 15 min. Cried all the way home, took 1 phone call and told him she didn't want to see him. He asked about the sex and she told him I think you know how I feel about it and hung up. Now here is a strange thing about it. A year goes by and she contacts him. He's leaving to go overseas in the military and she agrees to meet him in a public place. This is where the forced hug takes place. Says she stormed away and never talked to him again

That's a highly-detailed recollection of events that happened 5 years ago.

 

[cstu]

Seems to be a lot of people glossing over the fact he pinned her hands across her chest and proceeded to have intercourse with her.

Her arms were pinned and he pinned her arms may be similar wording but I see a difference. Maybe the dude was a little drunk and is hefty and her arms were stuck accidentally.

"Just because I'm fat it doesn't mean I raped you!"

 

[AAABatteries]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

My thought too.

 

[Gr00vus]

She definitely wasn't into it. If you read carefully you will see that. As far as afterward. She left within 15 min. Cried all the way home, took 1 phone call and told him she didn't want to see him. He asked about the sex and she told him I think you know how I feel about it and hung up. Now here is a strange thing about it. A year goes by and she contacts him. He's leaving to go overseas in the military and she agrees to meet him in a public place. This is where the forced hug takes place. Says she stormed away and never talked to him again

That's a highly-detailed recollection of events that happened 5 years ago.

I'd imagine getting ####ed against your will is a pretty memorable experience.

 

[Arsenal of Doom]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no, and the fact that she got turned initially turned on by being carried back has zero bearing. Victims of sexual assault often experience arousal, and that generally compounds the long-term mental and emotional damage, it doesn't make the rape okay.

 

[AAABatteries]

Seems to be a lot of people glossing over the fact he pinned her hands across her chest and proceeded to have intercourse with her.

Her arms were pinned and he pinned her arms may be similar wording but I see a difference. Maybe the dude was a little drunk and is hefty and her arms were stuck accidentally.

"Just because I'm fat it doesn't mean I raped you!"

This all could have been avoided if the guy had read Otis' weight loss thread.

 

[AAABatteries]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no

I think you have way too little information to state that with certainty.

 

[Arsenal of Doom]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no

I think you have way too little information to state that with certainty.

Q: Do you want to go back to my bedroom?

A: I don't think that's a good idea right now.

That's not ambiguous, it's non-consent. Clearly more could actually have happened or been said but we can only comment on the second-hand account we've been given.

 

[johnnycakes]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no

I think you have way too little information to state that with certainty.

Q: Do you want to go back to my bedroom?

A: I don't think that's a good idea right now.

That's not ambiguous, it's non-consent.

As an impartial bystander I'd say that's just as likely as the scenario I envisioned at the top of the page.

 

[AAABatteries]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no

I think you have way too little information to state that with certainty.

Q: Do you want to go back to my bedroom?

A: I don't think that's a good idea right now.

That's not ambiguous, it's non-consent. Clearly more could actually have happened or been said but we can only comment on the second-hand account we've been given.

So you agree with me.

 

[fatness]

She definitely wasn't into it. If you read carefully you will see that. As far as afterward. She left within 15 min. Cried all the way home, took 1 phone call and told him she didn't want to see him. He asked about the sex and she told him I think you know how I feel about it and hung up. Now here is a strange thing about it. A year goes by and she contacts him. He's leaving to go overseas in the military and she agrees to meet him in a public place. This is where the forced hug takes place. Says she stormed away and never talked to him again

That's a highly-detailed recollection of events that happened 5 years ago.

I'd imagine getting ####ed against your will is a pretty memorable experience.

I'd imagine it is also.

The details of events afterwards -- the phone call, the asking about the sex, the wait of a year, the meeting in a public place, the forced hug --- those seem highly-detailed recollections from 4-5 years ago as well. The main question I have is not "was this rape?". It's "is she relating something that actually happened?". I'm not sure how the OP would know if she was not. They only recently met.

 

[Guest]

I agree that it was rape. Also, who gets a woman naked in bed and goes straight for penetration without taking a tour of the field first? Sounds like the guy knew she wasn't all that into it and thought she might bail.

 

[Arsenal of Doom]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no

I think you have way too little information to state that with certainty.

Q: Do you want to go back to my bedroom?

A: I don't think that's a good idea right now.

That's not ambiguous, it's non-consent. Clearly more could actually have happened or been said but we can only comment on the second-hand account we've been given.

So you agree with me.

No. We were asked to comment on a second hand account on a message board not conduct a criminal investigation. As the story is written it's a rape.

 

[whiskey7]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no, and the fact that she got turned initially turned on by being carried back has zero bearing. Victims of sexual assault often experience arousal, and that generally compounds the long-term mental and emotional damage, it doesn't make the rape okay.

No, it's not. It's Friday night. There are a lot of women that will have sex tonight knowing it is not a good idea. Whether because they sense the guy doesn't really like them or they don't have protection or whatever the reason they shouldn't do it. Does not mean they are not going along with it willingly.

 

[Chaz McNulty]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no, and the fact that she got turned initially turned on by being carried back has zero bearing. Victims of sexual assault often experience arousal, and that generally compounds the long-term mental and emotional damage, it doesn't make the rape okay.

What if she says "this is probably a bad idea"?

 

[Dippa]

She definitely wasn't into it. If you read carefully you will see that. As far as afterward. She left within 15 min. Cried all the way home, took 1 phone call and told him she didn't want to see him. He asked about the sex and she told him I think you know how I feel about it and hung up. Now here is a strange thing about it. A year goes by and she contacts him. He's leaving to go overseas in the military and she agrees to meet him in a public place. This is where the forced hug takes place. Says she stormed away and never talked to him again

That's a highly-detailed recollection of events that happened 5 years ago.

I'd imagine getting ####ed against your will is a pretty memorable experience.

I'd imagine it is also.

The details of events afterwards -- the phone call, the asking about the sex, the wait of a year, the meeting in a public place, the forced hug --- those seem highly-detailed recollections from 4-5 years ago as well. The main question I have is not "was this rape?". It's "is she relating something that actually happened?". I'm not sure how the OP would know if she was not. They only recently met.

Apparently the OP thinks she must still be in denial, which only seems possible to me if she is still repressing the rape incident. If she's repressing it, she wouldn't be able to recollect every small detail. Doesn't add up.

I see that someone agreed that rape causes long-term emotional damage, but the main reason I'm skeptical is there is nothing here to suggest emotional damage other than it was "One of the worst nights of my life" and her "biggest regret". The girl I knew who was raped was pretty much incapable of any sexual contact years later. It was just too hard for her.

 

[Arsenal of Doom]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no, and the fact that she got turned initially turned on by being carried back has zero bearing. Victims of sexual assault often experience arousal, and that generally compounds the long-term mental and emotional damage, it doesn't make the rape okay.

No, it's not.It's Friday night. There are a lot of women that will have sex tonight knowing it is not a good idea. Whether because they sense the guy doesn't really like them or they don't have protection or whatever the reason they shouldn't do it. Does not mean they are not going along with it willingly.

In what's been outlined here if they had kept making out and she eventually either says "okay" or initiates going back into the bedroom you'd say there is consent. When she verbalizes "I don't think it's a good idea" and is immediately carried off, this is 100% black and white non-consent.

I'm only commenting on the scenario itself. Whether this actually happened or in the way it's been described is clearly up for speculation.

 

[Chaz McNulty]

She definitely wasn't into it. If you read carefully you will see that. As far as afterward. She left within 15 min. Cried all the way home, took 1 phone call and told him she didn't want to see him. He asked about the sex and she told him I think you know how I feel about it and hung up. Now here is a strange thing about it. A year goes by and she contacts him. He's leaving to go overseas in the military and she agrees to meet him in a public place. This is where the forced hug takes place. Says she stormed away and never talked to him again.

I was really concerned as much about the legalities of it but just the morality of it and if I had it right in my head. If ANYONE ever did such a thing to one of my daughters they'd need to be overseas to keep themselves safe.

Did she say why she contacted him.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Condom or no condom?

 

[MC Gas Money]

Condom or no condom?

Who rapes with a condom?

 

[johnnycakes]

Kinda reminds me of High Plains Drifter

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gfnFF8VVbrw

 

[Niles Standish]

I had a close friend who was raped. She never said no either. Felt like she couldn't for whatever reason. From the way she described it, no probably wouldn't have stopped anything. I think being quiet and trying to go away mentally isn't that uncommon.

Absent brute force from an unknown assailant, it can't possibly be construed as rape if the woman doesn't attempt to resist verbally or physically.

I disagree. I might not have a few years ago. But life has a way of changing beliefs.

Explain how it's possible consider it rape if the woman is conscious/alert and does not object?

You're moving the bar.

Agree.I took this from a Rape crisis center website:

Seems like the OP's friend might have used the "freeze" response as her way of protecting herself. Seems like the "disorientation" he describes her mentioning makes a lot of sense.

I. ATTACK

During the attack, survivors often: Fight, Flight, or Freeze – while everyone thinks they would fight or run away, survivors often freeze in response

to an attack. They do this to survive and to avoid further injury. Often victims are paralyzed by fear, and cannot

take any action at all for fear that they could be hurt or killed.

•  Disorientation during the attack may feel like being outside of oneself, and often helps victims to dissociate
  
  themselves from fear and pain they are experiencing.
  
• [COLOR=rgb(35.686%,32.156%,28.627%)] [/COLOR]Focus on survival allows victims to get do things they might not ever have done, and things that may seem odd in
  
  retrospect. However, the desire to survive and get away from the attacker can lead victims to do whatever is necessary to live through the attack.
  

The sad thing is she still has dissociation from it if she's hit by the wrong trigger. I've seen her in that state. She can't do anything when she's there. Although I'm not sure it was the same back then. I do know from seeing her in that state anyone would be able to tell something was wrong.

 

[cstu]

Absent brute force from an unknown assailant, it can't possibly be construed as rape if the woman doesn't attempt to resist verbally or physically.

If a woman has a look of fear on her face instead of pleasure then it's rape even if she doesn't say or do anything to resist.

 

[cstu]

Apparently the OP thinks she must still be in denial, which only seems possible to me if she is still repressing the rape incident. If she's repressing it, she wouldn't be able to recollect every small detail. Doesn't add up.

I see that someone agreed that rape causes long-term emotional damage, but the main reason I'm skeptical is there is nothing here to suggest emotional damage other than it was "One of the worst nights of my life" and her "biggest regret". The girl I knew who was raped was pretty much incapable of any sexual contact years later. It was just too hard for her.

Unless she's been raped multiple times then saying "one of" is a strange way of describing it.

 

[Otis]

Absent brute force from an unknown assailant, it can't possibly be construed as rape if the woman doesn't attempt to resist verbally or physically.

If a woman has a look of fear on her face instead of pleasure then it's rape even if she doesn't say or do anything to resist.

oh come on. Now we have to do facial mood recognition?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Absent brute force from an unknown assailant, it can't possibly be construed as rape if the woman doesn't attempt to resist verbally or physically.

If a woman has a look of fear on her face instead of pleasure then it's rape even if she doesn't say or do anything to resist.

They all have that look of fear on their face when I "release the Kraken" ifyoucatchmydrift.

 

[SIDA!]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no

I think you have way too little information to state that with certainty.

Q: Do you want to go back to my bedroom?

A: I don't think that's a good idea right now.

That's not ambiguous, it's non-consent. Clearly more could actually have happened or been said but we can only comment on the second-hand account we've been given.

Is it ambiguous when you are trying to fingerbang a girl and she squeezes her legs together or pushes your hand away while she is making out with you, too? Or is that sexual assault as well?

 

[Arsenal of Doom]

It was clearly a non-consent situation from the time she said "no" to going back to his bedroom.

She didn't say no according to the story. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. Then she got turned-on by it. Just sayin...

Saying she didn't think it was a good idea is absolutely equivalent to saying no

I think you have way too little information to state that with certainty.

Q: Do you want to go back to my bedroom?

A: I don't think that's a good idea right now.

That's not ambiguous, it's non-consent. Clearly more could actually have happened or been said but we can only comment on the second-hand account we've been given.

Is it ambiguous when you are trying to fingerbang a girl and she squeezes her legs together or pushes your hand away while she is making out with you, too? Or is that sexual assault as well?

I can't tell if you are being serious or not... but my serious answer would be that it depends on what happens next. I don't think that initial act itself constitutes assault, but it could if the guy keeps persisting and the girl never makes it clear she's okay with it.

 

[cstu]

She definitely wasn't into it. If you read carefully you will see that. As far as afterward. She left within 15 min. Cried all the way home, took 1 phone call and told him she didn't want to see him. He asked about the sex and she told him I think you know how I feel about it and hung up. Now here is a strange thing about it. A year goes by and she contacts him. He's leaving to go overseas in the military and she agrees to meet him in a public place. This is where the forced hug takes place. Says she stormed away and never talked to him again.

I was really concerned as much about the legalities of it but just the morality of it and if I had it right in my head. If ANYONE ever did such a thing to one of my daughters they'd need to be overseas to keep themselves safe.

This sounds like rape.

If what she said was true, I don't get why she called him and met him though.

 

[cstu]

Absent brute force from an unknown assailant, it can't possibly be construed as rape if the woman doesn't attempt to resist verbally or physically.

If a woman has a look of fear on her face instead of pleasure then it's rape even if she doesn't say or do anything to resist.

They all have that look of fear on their face when I "release the Kraken" ifyoucatchmydrift.

 

[Bucky86]

Absent brute force from an unknown assailant, it can't possibly be construed as rape if the woman doesn't attempt to resist verbally or physically.

If a woman has a look of fear on her face instead of pleasure then it's rape even if she doesn't say or do anything to resist.

They all have that look of fear on their face when I "release the Kraken" ifyoucatchmydrift.

 

[seahawk 17]

Sorry but I don't consider this rape. Aggressive yes...but how is dude supposed to know she wasn't down?

Pretty simple rule of thumb here: if you have to physically restrain someone to get them to have sex with you (unless they've actually asked for that) then they're not down.

True...but this doesn't sound like a whole lot of restraining. Even through this telephone game of OP telling us her story...she admits to being carried up to his room as a "turn on".

She establishes that she likes a guy to take charge. He said let's go up to my room...she says not right now. He takes a shot and carries her. She gets turned on.

That tells him she likes it when he's assertive.

If at any point she says "No"...then we could consider this rape.

This just sounds like a mess of a girl who is probably nothing but drama in every stage of her life.

She herself said she didn't consider it rape.

I was being neutral this morning, but this sums it up perfectly.

 

[Papa Georgio]

I obviously had an opinion when I started this thread but wanted to just present the story without my feelings on the topic first.

I feel pretty confident nothing about this was a turn on to her once she put her hands on his shoulders and he pinned her. Not sure why her liking him carrying her to the room is a factor. She was also turned on by the kissing on the couch. She still has every right to stop him at any point regardless of what has taken place prior. Being pushed away is the same as saying no in my book so if you feel differently then that's your opinion but you won't change mine.

I am pretty willing to accept any pov from rape to the guy is a total ### clown that knew she wasn't into it. I can't however buy into the fact that she was into it. I have spoken to her in person so I have the benefit of that while others do not.

Girl is not into drama that I can tell. Her life is not a mess and she has only told me and one other person about that night so I don't think she is looking for attention.

I find it worrisome that so many people start to question the girl so easily. I guess the amount of limited information is the problem. No doubt she used terrible judgement. However you want to talk about mixed signals is fine but pinning a girls arms because she tries to stop you then ramming it inside of her is not acceptable. Might not be legally called rape but he forced her to do something against her will. I also said I believe had he stopped and had nice pillow talk and began to work her, there is a good chance she gives consent, but that's not what he did. She said once she pinned her and rammed it in she was afraid to try and stop him. I don't feel like she is trying to make herself feel better about that night by skewing the events in her favor I actually felt like she was trying to paint him in a better way than he deserved. I think she doesn't want to admit to herself exactly what happened in my opinion.

She said she had feelings for the guy so maybe that's why she called him a year later. I am not for sure and I don't see me bringing this up unless she initiates it. That is my main issue with everything. I think it might be like why a battered woman keeps going back to her man type of thing.

I'll stick to my same argument for those somewhat defending his actions. Imagine this happened to your daughter or sister. What might change then?

 

[AAABatteries]

What are you trying to accomplish with this thread?

 

[MikeIke]

Absent brute force from an unknown assailant, it can't possibly be construed as rape if the woman doesn't attempt to resist verbally or physically.

If a woman has a look of fear on her face instead of pleasure then it's rape even if she doesn't say or do anything to resist.

They all have that look of fear on their face when I "release the Kraken" ifyoucatchmydrift.

I think you're confusing fear with amusement. Or pity...

 

[Niles Standish]

She definitely wasn't into it. If you read carefully you will see that. As far as afterward. She left within 15 min. Cried all the way home, took 1 phone call and told him she didn't want to see him. He asked about the sex and she told him I think you know how I feel about it and hung up. Now here is a strange thing about it. A year goes by and she contacts him. He's leaving to go overseas in the military and she agrees to meet him in a public place. This is where the forced hug takes place. Says she stormed away and never talked to him again.

I was really concerned as much about the legalities of it but just the morality of it and if I had it right in my head. If ANYONE ever did such a thing to one of my daughters they'd need to be overseas to keep themselves safe.

This sounds like rape.If what she said was true, I don't get why she called him and met him though.

Sometimes when something traumatic happens you want to make sense of it.

Meeting in a public place and trying to avoid physical contact mesh with that theory.