What are the dangers of a 45 yo woman getting pregnant? (1 Viewer)

[belljr]

Serious answer:

Make sure you only lube naturally

 

[RokNRole]

It's more work. But special needs children are often an amazing experience for their parents and their siblings as well. Funny how that works.

I don't think I would find it fulfilling.

i would want my child to have a better life than me. Not be some vegetable

 

[Tom Servo]

well, ok then.... atta boy. let er' rip!

Grip it and rip it?

 

[El Floppo]

dude... honestly here- if she's game and you're game, don't #### around (figuratively). give yourself a couple of months free-range and then see a doc pronto- she's too old to #### around with ####### around. if it's baby you want, don't waste any time getting to a fertility dr. an expensive, not covered by insurance, fertility dr.

eta: I think that reads wrong- I'm advising you see a fertility doctor asap, not the opposite.

 

[Foosball God]

As a 54 year old father of an 8 year old, I would suggest becoming a community leader. Or volunteering. Perhaps a hobby? Maybe you could start serving in your local church?

My daughter's Asian mom was 43 when she had her first child. So far so good health wise. There seems to be a lot of unsettled questions about this issue. Here is one article.

My little girl is the joy of my life. The best 20 minutes of any weekday is picking her up and walking home. She has taught me so much about being gentle and sensitive. I love being her dad.

I would advise no one to have children when you are older than 40. Do it when you are young, energetic and will have time to recover a bit financially after they're out. I'm a super ambitious, motivated and energetic guy. I am not looking forward to her starting to date and go off to college when I'm in my 60s.

(ASIDE - I also have an 18 y.o. son who is a college freshman. IME boys are easy to raise. Girls will kill you. It's the sweetest death ever, but they're hard. So much more complicated.)

Do you and your "ex" have  a solid foundation to form a lifelong partnership. I don't know any specifics here other than your thumbnail view, but she's your ex for a reason.

You know Asian women are never happy, right? I mean never. I've had three serious relationships as an adult, all lovely Asian gals. YMMV

It's 18 in some states, 21 in others. My son's child support ended six weeks ago. My daughter's will continue for another 13 years.

Having a child in the first year of marriage puts a lot of undue strain on the marriage. I'm not an expert and don't have personal experience, but that seems like consensus opinion across the board. But let's just focus on her health, none of that other stuff matters.

Go for it!

(you've already made up your mind, doesn't matter what I say)

For the record she is adorable.

 

[tommyboy]

My "ex" from NY and I are considering staying together.

Her age has always been an issue since we met because I desire a family one day.

We love eachother very much and have a great relationship.  Neither of us is keen to try to meet someone new when we have something special together so we are discussing the idea of having a child and her moving to Texas.

What are the dangers of her having a child at 45? Are the concerns I'm reading about valid or overblown?

Has anyone had experience with this? How did things go? Any complications?

shes in excellent health and looks fantastic for her age.  She's also Asian if that matters.

TIA

Egg quality drops off exponentially past age 40. Risks are plentiful. Good luck

 

[BobbyLayne]

I don't think I would find it fulfilling.

i would want my child to have a better life than me. Not be some vegetable

That's an interesting perspective. Probably not all that different from how many parents think before they had special needs kids. Children have a crazy good effect on you. 

Regardless, you will learn much about yourself through having a child. Not all of it will be pleasant, but it will take you places you never thought possible. It'll make you a better man than you ever dreamed of being on your own. The personal growth that comes with the challenges of parenting is amazing.

Good luck to both of you.

 

[RUSF18]

I don't think I would find it fulfilling.

i would want my child to have a better life than me. Not be some vegetable

Good looks here. You have that parenting gene locked and loaded. 

 

[ProstheticRGK]

I don't think I would find it fulfilling.

i would want my child to have a better life than me. Not be some vegetable

You're a peach.

 

[Vanilla Guerrilla]

I don't think I would find it fulfilling.

i would want my child to have a better life than me. Not be some vegetable

With a 180 IQ, isn't any kid going to seem slow to you?  Even if he's only 130, you still may never be able to relate.

 

[RokNRole]

With a 180 IQ, isn't any kid going to seem slow to you?  Even if he's only 130, you still may never be able to relate.

I would be happy with 130

i wouldn't want them to be just as smart as me because that will just be a miserable life for them

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

I don't want any kid that isn't from my loins

p.S. Pretty sure my credit score would prevent me from adopting a child anyway

I don't think he is saying that the gynecologist or physician will be the father - just consult them to make sure your ex is fit for breeding.

 

[Tom Servo]

I would be happy with 130

i wouldn't want them to be just as smart as me because that will just be a miserable life for them

If you truly want to be a dad and not just a sperm donor, you're going to have to disabuse yourself of this notion right freaking now.

 

[belljr]

Has she will get fat been mentioned yet

 

[RokNRole]

If you truly want to be a dad and not just a sperm donor, you're going to have to disabuse yourself of this notion right freaking now.

Why would I want my kids to be just average?

the point is to pass on my good qualities and enjoy watching them grow

 

[Vanilla Guerrilla]

Has she will get fat been mentioned yet

I told an Asian girl I work with that I can't guess ages.  They all look either like they are 14 or 80+ to me.  Wondering if there is a day where they wake up and they just change to an old lady.  Maybe it's when they turn 46 and have a kid.

 

[Tom Servo]

Why would I want my kids to be just average?

the point is to pass on my good qualities and enjoy watching them grow

Look, I get that. As someone who went to college to be an engineer (and the first in my family in a LONG time), I know what you're saying. However, my boys are merely average in intelligence. My oldest looks like me, has many of my quirks and sense of humor, but he's on the autism spectrum (high functioning) and many things school-wise are difficult for him. Yet, he is kind (for the most part) and has some artistic talent from my wife. My younger son takes after my wife looks wise, is industrious, and has a heart a parent would die for. He also is average in intelligence, though higher than his brother. As much as I want them to go to college like I did, the odds are pretty good that they'll be working a trade or something.

Dreams for your kids are one thing, but once your sperm and her egg hook up, the die is cast. You have no control of which bullet hits the target, much less the target that gets presented to you to aim at. Once you see your child in the flesh, your mindset begins to change. Once you begin to see the trajectory of your child's life, you either have to adjust or it will come out and harm either you, them, or both.

 

[RokNRole]

Look, I get that. As someone who went to college to be an engineer (and the first in my family in a LONG time), I know what you're saying. However, my boys are merely average in intelligence. My oldest looks like me, has many of my quirks and sense of humor, but he's on the autism spectrum (high functioning) and many things school-wise are difficult for him. Yet, he is kind (for the most part) and has some artistic talent from my wife. My younger son takes after my wife looks wise, is industrious, and has a heart a parent would die for. He also is average in intelligence, though higher than his brother. As much as I want them to go to college like I did, the odds are pretty good that they'll be working a trade or something.

Dreams for your kids are one thing, but once your sperm and her egg hook up, the die is cast. You have no control of which bullet hits the target, much less the target that gets presented to you to aim at. Once you see your child in the flesh, your mindset begins to change. Once you begin to see the trajectory of your child's life, you either have to adjust or it will come out and harm either you, them, or both.

It's hard for me to imagine my feelings until it happens

 

[RokNRole]

I told an Asian girl I work with that I can't guess ages.  They all look either like they are 14 or 80+ to me.  Wondering if there is a day where they wake up and they just change to an old lady.  Maybe it's when they turn 46 and have a kid.

I hope not

 

[Tom Servo]

It's hard for me to imagine my feelings until it happens

Dude, I understand. I was 37 and my wife 31 when our older son was born. The second one came 14 months later.  We'd been married about 6 years when he came.

Your wife to be will be almost 15 years older than mine when she has her first. Older women having babies is more common than it used to be, but the medical issues are still there.

 

[El Floppo]

the main thing I've learned as a parent... expectations kill. 

second thing- I used to think it was mostly nurture and a little bit nature... but these little people pop out with their own distinct personalities. you try to shoehorn all of your expectations onto them into being somebody else and it's going to get ugly fast. 

 

[Van Dyman]

Nobody is getting any pics

You already posted her pic in a previous thread.

 

[RokNRole]

You already posted her pic in a previous thread.

Do you stay up all night thinking of these?

 

[RokNRole]

the main thing I've learned as a parent... expectations kill. 

second thing- I used to think it was mostly nurture and a little bit nature... but these little people pop out with their own distinct personalities. you try to shoehorn all of your expectations onto them into being somebody else and it's going to get ugly fast. 

I'm not intending to shoehorn anything I just want them to have some talents and be smart so they can't be replaced by a robot right away

 

[MaxThreshold]

I'm really afraid of having a mentally handicapped child

You're right, you're a bit suspect - you better let me handle this one.  I guarantee they will be the cream of the crop with no issues.  

 

[EYLive]

I told an Asian girl I work with that I can't guess ages.  They all look either like they are 14 or 80+ to me.  Wondering if there is a day where they wake up and they just change to an old lady.  Maybe it's when they turn 46 and have a kid.

You're not wrong.

 

[Henry Ford]

Pregnant women get angry.  A 45-year-old woman tends to throw a better punch than a younger woman.

 

[EYLive]

Why would I want my kids to be just average?

the point is to pass on my good qualities and enjoy watching them grow

Wasn't your dumbas freaking about about getting "raided" and evicted for smoking weed in your apartment less than a month ago?
Now you're considering reproducing? Why do stupid people insist on multiplying? 

 

[El Floppo]

I'm not intending imo shoehorn anything I just want them to have some talents and be smart so they can't be replaced by a robot right away

We're all the robots.

Doesnt sound like youre going to understand what Im saying until you have kids. Hopefully.

 

[MaxThreshold]

I'm not intending to shoehorn anything I just want them to have some talents and be smart so they can't be replaced by a robot right away

We call them "hosts".

 

[RokNRole]

Wasn't your dumbas freaking about about getting "raided" and evicted for smoking weed in your apartment less than a month ago?
Now you're considering reproducing? Why do stupid people insist on multiplying? 

I'm still in my place

there is room for kids