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What is a "Paper Bag Sandwich?" (1 Viewer)

Black

Black

Footballguy
Steve Smith of Panthers rips Mark Sanchez: 'He sucks'

It hasn't been an easy couple of months for Mark Sanchez.

The New York Jets quarterback must fight for his job after the Jets drafted rookie quarterback Geno Smith -- a position battle Sanchez seems destined to lose, with most people writing him off long before training camp gets under way.


Now add to the heat in Gotham a shot from Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith.

"He sucks," Smith reportedly said Wednesday on WFNZ. The receiver went on to add, via the Sporting News and ProFootballTalk.com, "I wouldn't let Mark Sanchez throw me a paper bag sandwich."
Click to expand...
None of this is surprising or even newsworthy....but what, in fact, is a paper bag sandwich?

 
Sandwich in a paper bag. Bagged lunch as it were. Also Steve Smith is an idiot, but correct in this case regarding level of Sanchez's poor play.

 
My guess was it was one of those sad tuna sandwiches (or PB&J) on Wonder Bread that sits unprotected in the bottom of your paperbag lunch for like 4 hours, unrefridgerated, and gets smushed and nasty.

But, why would you want someone to throw one to you?

Maybe Steve's pissed about not getting any WR help from CAR in the draft. Or maybe just hungry.

 
UPDATE: Sanchez responded Thursday. USA Today's Mike Garafolo reported the quarterback said of Smith: "I wish him and his team a healthy, successful season."
Click to expand...
Say what you will about Sanchez, but dude dated Kate Upton and has manners. Gotta count for something.

 
Black said:
UPDATE: Sanchez responded Thursday. USA Today's Mike Garafolo reported the quarterback said of Smith: "I wish him and his team a healthy, successful season."
Click to expand...
Say what you will about Sanchez, but dude dated Kate Upton and has manners. Gotta count for something.
Click to expand...
Really good response. I don't know why more players don't do this.Actually, now that I think about it I do know. Probably the same reason I have a hard time doing it. :bag:

 
Black said:
My guess was it was one of those sad tuna sandwiches (or PB&J) on Wonder Bread that sits unprotected in the bottom of your paperbag lunch for like 4 hours, unrefridgerated, and gets smushed and nasty.

But, why would you want someone to throw one to you?

Maybe Steve's pissed about not getting any WR help from CAR in the draft. Or maybe just hungry.
Click to expand...
No, no, no, there's nothing wrong with the sandwich in the bag. He simply doesn't trust Sanchez to get the sandwich to him without bouncing on the ground or someone else stealing it from him while in the air.

 
Black said:
UPDATE: Sanchez responded Thursday. USA Today's Mike Garafolo reported the quarterback said of Smith: "I wish him and his team a healthy, successful season."
Click to expand...
Say what you will about Sanchez, but dude dated Kate Upton and has manners. Gotta count for something.
Click to expand...
Yeah - if he was with Kate Upton, he probably doesn't give a #$%& what Steve Smith or a bunch of guys on a message board think about him...or his passing ability.

 
DoubleG said:
Black said:
UPDATE: Sanchez responded Thursday. USA Today's Mike Garafolo reported the quarterback said of Smith: "I wish him and his team a healthy, successful season."
Click to expand...
Say what you will about Sanchez, but dude dated Kate Upton and has manners. Gotta count for something.
Click to expand...
Yeah - if he was with Kate Upton, he probably doesn't give a #$%& what Steve Smith or a bunch of guys on a message board think about him...or his passing ability.
Click to expand...
If I was him I'd retire with my millions and supermodels and tell the football world to #### off.

 
cstu said:
Black said:
My guess was it was one of those sad tuna sandwiches (or PB&J) on Wonder Bread that sits unprotected in the bottom of your paperbag lunch for like 4 hours, unrefridgerated, and gets smushed and nasty.

But, why would you want someone to throw one to you?

Maybe Steve's pissed about not getting any WR help from CAR in the draft. Or maybe just hungry.
Click to expand...
No, no, no, there's nothing wrong with the sandwich in the bag. He simply doesn't trust Sanchez to get the sandwich to him without bouncing on the ground or someone else stealing it from him while in the air.
Click to expand...
This guy understands hunger. The sandwich must be delivered intact.

I wouldn't want a guy who does this delivering me a sandwich either-

http://www.sportsgrid.com/nfl/mark-sanchez-booger-wipe-explained/

 
Last edited by a moderator:
you guys gotta know about the ghetto sandwich shops, you get a greasy bbq sandwich and greasy fries and they always come in a paper bag, classic yummy food cmon!

 
I am sort of partial to a good Schlotzsky's Deli sandwich in my barrio. Makes me feel more refined as compared to all the tacos. Regardless, I wouldn't want Sanchez serving either to me. He is no sandwich king.

 
I wouldn't let Sanchez throw me a toothless wizard.

Your move Sherlock.

huh?....................................................I can say whatever I want since I am a member of the Beautiful People's Club.

 
Biabreakable said:
cstu said:
Black said:
My guess was it was one of those sad tuna sandwiches (or PB&J) on Wonder Bread that sits unprotected in the bottom of your paperbag lunch for like 4 hours, unrefridgerated, and gets smushed and nasty.

But, why would you want someone to throw one to you?

Maybe Steve's pissed about not getting any WR help from CAR in the draft. Or maybe just hungry.
Click to expand...
No, no, no, there's nothing wrong with the sandwich in the bag. He simply doesn't trust Sanchez to get the sandwich to him without bouncing on the ground or someone else stealing it from him while in the air.
Click to expand...
This guy understands hunger. The sandwich must be delivered intact.

I wouldn't want a guy who does this delivering me a sandwich either-

http://www.sportsgrid.com/nfl/mark-sanchez-booger-wipe-explained/
Click to expand...
DO NOT click on this link. My Malwarebytes went off and even then couldn't get the page to go away.

 
Pantherz said:
Biabreakable said:
cstu said:
Black said:
My guess was it was one of those sad tuna sandwiches (or PB&J) on Wonder Bread that sits unprotected in the bottom of your paperbag lunch for like 4 hours, unrefridgerated, and gets smushed and nasty.

But, why would you want someone to throw one to you?

Maybe Steve's pissed about not getting any WR help from CAR in the draft. Or maybe just hungry.
Click to expand...
No, no, no, there's nothing wrong with the sandwich in the bag. He simply doesn't trust Sanchez to get the sandwich to him without bouncing on the ground or someone else stealing it from him while in the air.
Click to expand...
This guy understands hunger. The sandwich must be delivered intact.

I wouldn't want a guy who does this delivering me a sandwich either-

http://www.sportsgrid.com/nfl/mark-sanchez-booger-wipe-explained/
Click to expand...
DO NOT click on this link. My Malwarebytes went off and even then couldn't get the page to go away.
Click to expand...
Yup that link is a malicious attack on your computer that might require a wetnap.

 
I don't want ANYONE throwing me a sandwich. Sounds messy as all get out. Don't be rude, just calmly hand it over please. I'm hungry and I prefer my sandwiches intact.

 
Smitty has not to my knowledge not expressed an unwillingness to accept a thrown paper bags sandwich from Cam Newton so we have to assume his paper bag sandwich throwing is acceptable. Where is Schefter when you need him?

 
Times are tough. Bread is expensive. Nowadays people just pick up a paper bag from the grocery store and make a peanut butter sandwich using two cutout shapes of a slice of bread.

 
heidbrink said:
Smitty has not to my knowledge not expressed an unwillingness to accept a thrown paper bags sandwich from Cam Newton so we have to assume his paper bag sandwich throwing is acceptable. Where is Schefter when you need him?
Click to expand...
Mort would know all the inside scoop on the sandwich, or at least what was scooped on the sandwich.

 
All this hoopla and not one journalist or fan has asked the most important question in all this.

Just what kind of sandwich are we talking about here? Ham and cheese? Pb&j? Makes all the difference. Obviously.

 
cstu said:
"I wouldn't let Mark Sanchez throw me a paper bag sandwich."
Click to expand...
Hey Steve, can I get a list of QB's who you would allow to throw you your bagged lunch?
Click to expand...
That's an interesting question. On the one hand, you'd want to exclude guys like Jay Cutler, Joe Flacco, and Matt Stafford- their laser-rocket arms would likely result in irreparable harm to the contents of the bag. So you'd really want someone with a weaker arm. At the same time, you'd have to place a very high premium on accuracy (to ensure that my bagged lunch does not wind up in the hands of someone else). That's how Sanchez gets ruled out, and it'd also probably spell doom for guys like Vick, Tannehill, and Gabbert. Obviously the rookies are all out of the question, because how I could rate a rookie over a proven vet when I haven't even seen him take a single sandwich snap yet? Schaub and Rivers would have once qualified, but at this point, when delivering a bag that presumably contains baked goods, I would prefer someone a little less stale and a little more fresh. Cam Newton could probably deliver the sandwich just fine, but I wouldn't like his body language while he did it. Ben Roethlisberger could, as well, but given his penchant for improvisation, I'd probably wind up with a pasta salad, instead.

Obviously the future HoFers- Rodgers, Brees, Brady, Manning- would all be up for sandwich delivery duties, but it seems like a gross misuse of resources. I'd rather take a look at the class of QBs who are not so obviously overqualified for the task of throwing a sandwich in a paper bag. Guys like Tony Romo and Andy Dalton would make very underrated sandwich-delivery experts, but I wouldn't want to have to eat over the grumblings of their respective fan-bases. Russell Wilson is another strong candidate, but he's very short, and as this gag proves, I don't do very well with "short". Nick Foles is an intriguing prospect, but with my luck, he'd lose his job to Dennis Dixon and my sandwich would end up as much of a mess as Philly's QB depth chart. Obviously if we were doing an all-time list of paper bag sandwich throwers, Chad Pennington would be a lock to go #1 overall, but I heard he actually tore his rotator cuff twice while I was typing this sentence. David Garrard would be another perfect choice, and his recent promotion to positional coaching intern removes any question of overqualification, but everything about the Jets' quarterback situation stinks like sweaty feet (which is probably why Rex Ryan hasn't jumped ship yet).

No, after considering all of the variables, there's really only one guy who I would want throwing me my paper bag sandwich. Only one guy combines a weak arm with 70+% accuracy. Only one guy maintains the necessary job security without seeming the teensiest, tiniest bit overqualified. Obviously the only guy in the NFL who could be trusted to deliver paper bag sandwiches on the side is... Alex Smith, QB, KC.

 
All he will be throwing is sandwiches, when he applies to Jimmy Johns next year... and as much as i hate Tebow, I feel the Jets released the better of their 2 qbs

 
Last edited by a moderator:
zilladog said:
All this hoopla and not one journalist or fan has asked the most important question in all this.Just what kind of sandwich are we talking about here? Ham and cheese? Pb&j? Makes all the difference. Obviously.
Click to expand...
Duh, he said it was a paper bag sandwich. Do you have the habit of wondering what a ham sandwich is made of? Poor kids that each mustard sandwiches make fun of the kids that have to eat paper bag sandwiches. The point here is that a slice of paper bag weighs less than your average slice of ham. And if you are too poor to afford cold cuts or even straight peanut butter in your sandwich, you probably are also too poor to afford a slice of cheese food product, pickles, or even a slathering of mayo. So how much lighter is a paper bag sandwich than a traditional sandwich? Much. So what Smith is saying is that Sanchez's arm is so weak, he can't even be trusted to throw two slices of dry-### white bread in a catchable manner to someone who quite obviously has every motivation to catch it. Because if things are so bad for you that you are wanting a paper bag sandwich, you aren't going to let anyone take your lunch away. So while it may seem that choosing to go without your paper bag sandwich by saying "no thanks" to Sanchez would be worse than having Sanchez throw it to you, the actual net difference in the two is that with Sanchez throwing it, you not only are still dealing with hunger, but also with the disappointment of lost opportunity.That's what Smitty was trying to articulate to you knuckleheads.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Adam Harstad said:
cstu said:
"I wouldn't let Mark Sanchez throw me a paper bag sandwich."
Click to expand...
Hey Steve, can I get a list of QB's who you would allow to throw you your bagged lunch?
Click to expand...
That's an interesting question. On the one hand, you'd want to exclude guys like Jay Cutler, Joe Flacco, and Matt Stafford- their laser-rocket arms would likely result in irreparable harm to the contents of the bag. So you'd really want someone with a weaker arm. At the same time, you'd have to place a very high premium on accuracy (to ensure that my bagged lunch does not wind up in the hands of someone else). That's how Sanchez gets ruled out, and it'd also probably spell doom for guys like Vick, Tannehill, and Gabbert. Obviously the rookies are all out of the question, because how I could rate a rookie over a proven vet when I haven't even seen him take a single sandwich snap yet? Schaub and Rivers would have once qualified, but at this point, when delivering a bag that presumably contains baked goods, I would prefer someone a little less stale and a little more fresh. Cam Newton could probably deliver the sandwich just fine, but I wouldn't like his body language while he did it. Ben Roethlisberger could, as well, but given his penchant for improvisation, I'd probably wind up with a pasta salad, instead.

Obviously the future HoFers- Rodgers, Brees, Brady, Manning- would all be up for sandwich delivery duties, but it seems like a gross misuse of resources. I'd rather take a look at the class of QBs who are not so obviously overqualified for the task of throwing a sandwich in a paper bag. Guys like Tony Romo and Andy Dalton would make very underrated sandwich-delivery experts, but I wouldn't want to have to eat over the grumblings of their respective fan-bases. Russell Wilson is another strong candidate, but he's very short, and as this gag proves, I don't do very well with "short". Nick Foles is an intriguing prospect, but with my luck, he'd lose his job to Dennis Dixon and my sandwich would end up as much of a mess as Philly's QB depth chart. Obviously if we were doing an all-time list of paper bag sandwich throwers, Chad Pennington would be a lock to go #1 overall, but I heard he actually tore his rotator cuff twice while I was typing this sentence. David Garrard would be another perfect choice, and his recent promotion to positional coaching intern removes any question of overqualification, but everything about the Jets' quarterback situation stinks like sweaty feet (which is probably why Rex Ryan hasn't jumped ship yet).

No, after considering all of the variables, there's really only one guy who I would want throwing me my paper bag sandwich. Only one guy combines a weak arm with 70+% accuracy. Only one guy maintains the necessary job security without seeming the teensiest, tiniest bit overqualified. Obviously the only guy in the NFL who could be trusted to deliver paper bag sandwiches on the side is... Alex Smith, QB, KC.
Click to expand...
I'm into the whole brevity thing so I was just going to say Alex Smith.

 
cstu said:
Adam Harstad said:
cstu said:
"I wouldn't let Mark Sanchez throw me a paper bag sandwich."
Click to expand...
Hey Steve, can I get a list of QB's who you would allow to throw you your bagged lunch?
Click to expand...
That's an interesting question. On the one hand, you'd want to exclude guys like Jay Cutler, Joe Flacco, and Matt Stafford- their laser-rocket arms would likely result in irreparable harm to the contents of the bag. So you'd really want someone with a weaker arm. At the same time, you'd have to place a very high premium on accuracy (to ensure that my bagged lunch does not wind up in the hands of someone else). That's how Sanchez gets ruled out, and it'd also probably spell doom for guys like Vick, Tannehill, and Gabbert. Obviously the rookies are all out of the question, because how I could rate a rookie over a proven vet when I haven't even seen him take a single sandwich snap yet? Schaub and Rivers would have once qualified, but at this point, when delivering a bag that presumably contains baked goods, I would prefer someone a little less stale and a little more fresh. Cam Newton could probably deliver the sandwich just fine, but I wouldn't like his body language while he did it. Ben Roethlisberger could, as well, but given his penchant for improvisation, I'd probably wind up with a pasta salad, instead.

Obviously the future HoFers- Rodgers, Brees, Brady, Manning- would all be up for sandwich delivery duties, but it seems like a gross misuse of resources. I'd rather take a look at the class of QBs who are not so obviously overqualified for the task of throwing a sandwich in a paper bag. Guys like Tony Romo and Andy Dalton would make very underrated sandwich-delivery experts, but I wouldn't want to have to eat over the grumblings of their respective fan-bases. Russell Wilson is another strong candidate, but he's very short, and as this gag proves, I don't do very well with "short". Nick Foles is an intriguing prospect, but with my luck, he'd lose his job to Dennis Dixon and my sandwich would end up as much of a mess as Philly's QB depth chart. Obviously if we were doing an all-time list of paper bag sandwich throwers, Chad Pennington would be a lock to go #1 overall, but I heard he actually tore his rotator cuff twice while I was typing this sentence. David Garrard would be another perfect choice, and his recent promotion to positional coaching intern removes any question of overqualification, but everything about the Jets' quarterback situation stinks like sweaty feet (which is probably why Rex Ryan hasn't jumped ship yet).

No, after considering all of the variables, there's really only one guy who I would want throwing me my paper bag sandwich. Only one guy combines a weak arm with 70+% accuracy. Only one guy maintains the necessary job security without seeming the teensiest, tiniest bit overqualified. Obviously the only guy in the NFL who could be trusted to deliver paper bag sandwiches on the side is... Alex Smith, QB, KC.
Click to expand...
I'm into the whole brevity thing so I was just going to say Alex Smith.
Click to expand...
Not if Steve Smith runs a route over 10 yards.

 
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