What's the most 'bachelor' thing you ever did? (1 Viewer)

[RudiStein]

When did this thread change from wacky bachelor antics to how I used to steal?

Often times they were one in the same.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

When did this thread change from wacky bachelor antics to how I used to steal?

Often times they were one in the same.

Did the usual go-to-Ocean-City thing that most Maryland seniors did after graduating and had 7 or 8 hardheads in one condo. All we ever had in the fridge was beer & mustard (mustard was there when we got there). Oh, and about 1500 hits of Black Beauties in the freezer amongst other illicit substances. We bought North Ocean City's liquor stores out of Lowenbrau half-way through the week. By the 3rd day, we decided we should probably eat so we went to the all-you-can-eat place (Chesapeake Seafood House or Family Fish House, one of those). It was one of those places where one guy could order the most expensive thing on the menu & get everything cheaper too. There were probably 12 of us, 10 of whom decided that they should void their bowels in the restaurant bathroom. For those that don't know, the stench of 3 days worth of beer, acid, coke, and speed ain't pleasant. Anyway, we finally got cut off after fouling up the whole place. They told us they were "out of food" (we also drank about 10 pitchers of beer with dinner & I'm sure were very quiet). and that we needed to leave. Like any group of our country's future leaders who were ready to enter the adult world, 9 snuck out without paying (seperate checks). The other three of us dummies got stuck with the whole tab. We went back a day or two later to eat & the manager wouldn't let us in.

 

[Aloof]

When did this thread change from wacky bachelor antics to how I used to steal?

I'm pretty sure it was my fault. Sorry.

OH BULL####.I tried to register Boris Fezbitt yesterday but it was denied.SAME AS DAY ONE, JOE.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Did the usual go-to-Ocean-City thing that most Maryland seniors did after graduating and had 7 or 8 hardheads in one condo. All we ever had in the fridge was beer & mustard (mustard was there when we got there). Oh, and about 1500 hits of Black Beauties in the freezer amongst other illicit substances. We bought North Ocean City's liquor stores out of Lowenbrau half-way through the week. By the 3rd day, we decided we should probably eat so we went to the all-you-can-eat place (Chesapeake Seafood House or Family Fish House, one of those). It was one of those places where one guy could order the most expensive thing on the menu & get everything cheaper too. There were probably 12 of us, 10 of whom decided that they should void their bowels in the restaurant bathroom. For those that don't know, the stench of 3 days worth of beer, acid, coke, and speed ain't pleasant. Anyway, we finally got cut off after fouling up the whole place. They told us they were "out of food" (we also drank about 10 pitchers of beer with dinner & I'm sure were very quiet). and that we needed to leave. Like any group of our country's future leaders who were ready to enter the adult world, 9 snuck out without paying (seperate checks). The other three of us dummies got stuck with the whole tab. We went back a day or two later to eat & the manager wouldn't let us in.

That wasn't very nice of him.

 

[Jutz]

I stayed up till 3am playing video games...

 

[Borris Fezbitt]

When did this thread change from wacky bachelor antics to how I used to steal?

I'm pretty sure it was my fault. Sorry.

OH BULL####.I tried to register Boris Fezbitt yesterday but it was denied.SAME AS DAY ONE, JOE.

2 R's

 

[Thorn]

When did this thread change from wacky bachelor antics to how I used to steal?

I'm pretty sure it was my fault. Sorry.

OH BULL####.I tried to register Boris Fezbitt yesterday but it was denied.SAME AS DAY ONE, JOE.

Jesus loves you, but Joe thinks you're an #######.

 

[General Malaise]

When did this thread change from wacky bachelor antics to how I used to steal?

I'm pretty sure it was my fault. Sorry.

HFS

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

When did this thread change from wacky bachelor antics to how I used to steal?

I'm pretty sure it was my fault. Sorry.

OH BULL####.I tried to register Boris Fezbitt yesterday but it was denied.SAME AS DAY ONE, JOE.

 

[Mister CIA]

I lived in an old apartment in NY that had an old, 3/4 size refrigerator/freezer. The freezer did not have any way to defrost, so my freezer would get smaller and smaller as the frost built up. Eventually every month or so, I'd have to defrost the freezer because there was no room. But I didn't want to wait hours, unplug the freezer and refrigerator, etc. So first I tried a hair dryer to defrost the freezer. That worked ok but it took forever. I finally decided on ironing the frost out of the freezer. It worked really well.

You're a smarter man than I. I tried chipping the ice out with a screwdriver. One faceful of freon later, I had to replace the whole thing.

 

[Ned]

9 pages before the moral police got here. Must be some sort of record.

 

[gmbacm]

buddy that rented the unfinished basement from us. Stolen residence blankets were his walls and the laundry sink was his bathroom.

giant stolen stop sign on top of 4 milk crates was our coffee table.

 

[General Malaise]

slept on a waterbed for over a year, but it was just the water mattress - no frame, no pedistalIt was like sleeping on an Amoeba that just kinda rolled around the room.

 

[badgerfan80]

During a party I slipped down the stairs and crashed through a rather large (4'x6') window. Me and my roomates didn't have enough $ to fix it so we taped up empty beer boxes then stacked old couch cushins to insulate the large hole in the wall. It was a rather cold Wisonsin winter that year.

 

[mon]

One spring semester in college ('78), me and two other guys rented this small studio duplex where I slept on a couch. Rent was only $75 including all utilities, so we each only paid $25/mo. It was right next to train tracks and a cemetery.

 

[snitwitch]

Hookers and blow in Vegas for my bachelor party.

I used to eat BBQ sauce, potato chip, and cheese sandwiches on a not infrequent basis.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Hookers and blow in Vegas for my bachelor party.I used to eat BBQ sauce, potato chip, and cheese sandwiches on a not infrequent basis.

That's a GREAT sandwich!

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Room mate and I were leaving a buddy's house. On the way out we smelled beef on the grill coming from a few doors down. We could see the smoke rising from a grill not too far from the road and sidewalk. I told my room mate we should swing bye, grab the meat, and drive on home for chow. Whether I was serious or not I do not remember. Being inebriated as we allways were fom one thing or another the idea seemed good to him, so good in fact that he started running for the grill. I fired up my car, a Datsun B-510 wagon and caught up to him to make the get away. He opened the grill and instead of grabbing what was there he replaced the lid, grabbed the whole thing and lugged it to my car. He opened the back, sat there laughing and holding the grill, and screamed "move it". I did. The car back filling with smoke I made for our place with him saying the meat wasn't done yet. We parked, I grabbed one side of the grill and he grabbed the other and we took the smoking grill up the interior stairway of the house we lived in to the second story which was our apartment. Naturally the grill set off the smoke alarm which we dispatched with a bat. We took the grill to our balcony, removed the steaks, six, and chowed down.

The last time I visited him he still had that grill.

When the aforementioned room mate and I moved in together we each had some furniture, but as for decorations, not so much. We hosted a nail it to the wall party. We got a few kegs and invited folks over with the proviso that they had to bring something to nail to our wall that would not rot or stink. We got road signs, desk door trays, styrofoam trays from packaging, old books, albums, a sled and a suacer, jumper cables and lots of panties. It was an eclectic look, but we left it up. Somehow it just all sort of worked. The one thing we had some concern about was the freeze dried squirrel but it did just fine. I liked the fact that someone nailed one of those "Prepare to Unload" signs you see on ski lifts to our bathroom door.

 

[parasaurolophus]

In college, my night stand was 2 empty cases of Miller Lite.

Mine was an unreturned empty keg with a piece of wood on top.

 

[phrozen]

Room mate and I were leaving a buddy's house. On the way out we smelled beef on the grill coming from a few doors down. We could see the smoke rising from a grill not too far from the road and sidewalk. I told my room mate we should swing bye, grab the meat, and drive on home for chow. Whether I was serious or not I do not remember. Being inebriated as we allways were fom one thing or another the idea seemed good to him, so good in fact that he started running for the grill. I fired up my car, a Datsun B-510 wagon and caught up to him to make the get away. He opened the grill and instead of grabbing what was there he replaced the lid, grabbed the whole thing and lugged it to my car. He opened the back, sat there laughing and holding the grill, and screamed "move it". I did. The car back filling with smoke I made for our place with him saying the meat wasn't done yet. We parked, I grabbed one side of the grill and he grabbed the other and we took the smoking grill up the interior stairway of the house we lived in to the second story which was our apartment. Naturally the grill set off the smoke alarm which we dispatched with a bat. We took the grill to our balcony, removed the steaks, six, and chowed down.The last time I visited him he still had that grill.

 

[Genedoc]

As good Southern boys, we liked beer and had a never ending supply of top quality venison. One very cold winter evening, we were at a house party with 15-20 folks, and the ratio of attractive ladies to camouflage clad Southern Gentlemen was about 1:5. We started getting hungry, so we raided the freezer for meat. There were two beautiful venison back straps and a bunch of venison burgers. For those of you who don't know, back strap is a prime cut, the filet mignon. Venison burgers are decent, but they're burgers. There was enough food for everyone to have two or three small slices of back strap and a burger. Me and a buddy volunteered to sit out in the freezing cold and man the grill, and we went outside and lit the fire.

As the fire got going and we started cooking, plenty of hilarious ribbing ensued for the two guys who volunteered to cook. Wives, ladies, the help, maid, garcon. Every time someone came out for a beverage, a little more ribbing followed. No worries, I'm a big boy and I take as well as I give. About 10-15 minutes into the cooking, my accomplice mentions that we may want to test the back strap and make sure it's not getting too done. He pulls out his bowie knife and slices off a couple of generous hunks for us, and it's not quite ready, but close. And it's spectacularly delicious. We put all of the burgers on the grill, and about 5 minutes later, we "check the back strap" again, this time cutting giant slabs for ourselves - a good 1/4 of what remaining. It's perfect. We remove it from the grill and continue cooking the burgers. 5-10 more minutes pass and the burgers are getting ready. You know, that back strap has been sitting there a while. May need to check it to make sure it's not getting cold. We cut another two slabs for ourselves. We've easily eaten 60% of the back strap at this point. The natives are starting to get a little restless, but they're not paying any attention. "Dinner about ready ladies?. We reply "Yup, 5-10 more minutes. Start getting the buns ready for the burgers. Right before he take everything off the grill and head in, we cut another couple of chunks for ourselves. We're not even really hungry at this point, but it's hilarious to us that we're feasting on the backstrap while these suckers are going to be left to fight over the 15 burgers. Just to keep from being really rude, we did save about 6 oz. of the backstrap for everyone else to sample, just so they'd know how good it was.

 

[got_nugs]

- Woodstock '99. We were all 20 at the time, but wanted to get booze in. After much trial and error, we found gallon jugs of water where we could pop the top off without breaking the safety seal. Poured the water out of 2 jugs and filled it with cheap vodka (tall plastic bottles with red/black label - can't remember the name for the life of me). Went thru security checks and they slid the jugs right down the table without a glance. GB warm vodka and country time lemonade mix.

Dude, I was 22 at Woodstock, did the exact same thing. Did you ever meet "dead guy"? Some idiot kept running full speed at the port o crappers until they fell over....spilling into the tents of unexpecting sleeping concert goers. I doubt he made it out of the show.We used to play Edward 40 hands, where you duct tape 40's on your hands and can't remove them until empty. My college going brother at FSU now plays Edward Leche hands. Sick.Once we held a 5 kegger at the house...and at the time I knew a Pizza Hut delivery driver. Someone(couldn't imagine who...) called in an order for 500 chicken wings to a fake address, and after they could not be delivered, I invited the managers of the store to my party and they brought the wings. Karma came back when we had 500 bones throughout the house, bathroom toilets, sinks, yard, etc.We always held the lighter contest, where you stole as many lighters during the course of a night. Since we went out almost every night...before long I had thousands of lighters. Some really cool ones too. Then someone stole them from me.My buddy used to get hammered and steal from random house parties, one night he stole a quarter pound of bud and a bunch of jewelry, which he completely forgot about until the next day. Needless to say I forgot the next month or so. It was tough to go out with that guy, not knowing if you were fighting your way out of each party or not.

 

[headcrack]

we had a "beer closet", in which we would toss any and all empty bottles and cans. we put a few old towels on the floor of the closet in case of drips. we would fill the closet to the point where you could only open the door wide enough to squeeze in the next bottle/can, otherwise you might be killed by an avalanche. when it got to the point that we couldn't squeeze anything else in, we would load everything in my buddy's truck and take it down to the recycling center. we would use the $50 or so recycling money to promptly buy more beer.the closet filled up about every 4-6 weeks. and when we moved out, we left the towels behind.

My best friend and I used to do something similar, except instead of a closet it was the trunk of my car ('75 Malibu Classic). We'd drive around pounding beers and just never got motivated or broke enough to return the empties. It's amazing how many we had crammed in that trunk. Then one night we're cruising around drinking beers and I get a flat tire. While we're on the side of the road with hundreds of empties stacked up on the curb, a cop sees us and pulls over behind us. Luckily for me, it was early in the evening and I passed the breathalyzer. Still ...it was kind of an unpleasant situation.

 

[snitwitch]

Hookers and blow in Vegas for my bachelor party.I used to eat BBQ sauce, potato chip, and cheese sandwiches on a not infrequent basis.

That's a GREAT sandwich!

Yes, it is.

 

[Ned]

- Woodstock '99. We were all 20 at the time, but wanted to get booze in. After much trial and error, we found gallon jugs of water where we could pop the top off without breaking the safety seal. Poured the water out of 2 jugs and filled it with cheap vodka (tall plastic bottles with red/black label - can't remember the name for the life of me). Went thru security checks and they slid the jugs right down the table without a glance. GB warm vodka and country time lemonade mix.

Dude, I was 22 at Woodstock, did the exact same thing. Did you ever meet "dead guy"? Some idiot kept running full speed at the port o crappers until they fell over....spilling into the tents of unexpecting sleeping concert goers. I doubt he made it out of the show.

We didn't see the guy knocking over the pots. We did know that the mud everyone was playing in was overflow from the pots. :X I was pretty ripped all weekend and there's no way I'd go near that ####. I still have some pics of me laying in the piles of bottles they had at the back of each stage though.

 

[SlaX]

I walked into a holiday inn once and told them i was out of towels. they gave me 4. went home and my lack of towels problem was solved.

I did this once. It wasn't a Holiday Inn, but I can't remember what hotel it was.

 

[regularguy]

- different colored beer cans stacked in such a manner as to spell out my address

My roommates and I had a similar arrangement of beer cans in our dorm room that spelled out BUD in Budweiser cans inside a bunch of Busch Light and Natural Light cans.

 

[Eviloutsider]

Nothing too crazy but we did live in a ghetto. We learned, a month after we moved in, that there was a murder in our complex a week before we got there. A couple months later we got a 3:30 am ring from a hooker on the run. She asked to use the phone, called a dude, and said the job was done. A car came, no more than 2 minutes later, screaming through, picked her up and sped off into the morning.

The next morning we were awakened by cop cars, plural, going to and fro looking and searching. We never found out what she did.

 

[Major]

This was pretty bachelory, though it happened when we were all in our late 30s, most of us married with kids. Me and a dozen or so other guys were on a golf trip in San diego a few years ago. I was in the first foursome to finish playing one day and we went into the clubhouse bar. I've posted this story before, it was the same day we hired Hooters girls for caddies, were all blitzed by this point. Anyway, there was a small outing going on in a sectioned off area of the room, with a buffet. Me and another guy walked up to the buffet and each assembled a chicken fajita. guy next to us: "Are you with the group?"me: "yes" - not a lie, I was with a group.him: "The Deloitte group?"my friend: "No, the BC group."him: "This is a private party."me: "Oh. Can we keep the fajitas?"him: "I guess so."Then we walked around the corner and sat at a table away from the outing group. The next foursome of our friends rolls in after finishing golf, ask where we got the food, and we point them to the buffet saying "they don't mind". The four of them meandered up, made plates, and walked back and joined us. Me and my friend see three Deloitte guys are following, and scurry away towards the bar, but within earshot....guy one: "What do you guys think you're doing?"friend one: "We didn't realize it was a private party." guy two: "Are you idiots?"friend two: "I didn't think so, but maybe."guy one: "I'm paying for this, it's $25 a plate."friend two: "Fine, here." - takes a waded up $100 out of his pocket and sticks it in the guy's chest, then heads back to the buffet and picks up a platter that contains 20 - 25 giant chocolate chip cookies.waiter: "Hey, put that down, you can't take that."friend two: "Sorry, you're right." Puts platter down, pulls shirt out of pants and makes a pouch to carry the stacks of cookies, then turn and walks out.guy two, giving chase: "Get back here, those are our cookies!"friend two: "We paid for them - have them bake some more." Then we got in our shuttle van and left, munching cookies.

:money:

 

[Shooter McGavin]

Hookers and blow in Vegas for my bachelor party.I used to eat BBQ sauce, potato chip, and cheese sandwiches on a not infrequent basis.

That's a GREAT sandwich!

I agree -- hookers and blow make a GREAT sandwich.

 

[Pick]

Was never a bachelor thankfully.

 

[Aloof]

Was never a bachelor thankfully.

Single women agree.

 

[Ned]

Was never a bachelor thankfully.

Single women agree.

 

[TenTimes]

Great thread. Probably already mentioned but

Ran out of 'dishwasher' detergent. Decided to put a little dish washing liquid instead. Cleanest my kitchen floor has ever been.

Also, bottles of beer left in the freezer overnight explode.

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

We always held the lighter contest, where you stole as many lighters during the course of a night. Since we went out almost every night...before long I had thousands of lighters. Some really cool ones too. Then someone stole them from me.

I never stopped playing this.

 

[Shooter McGavin]

Great thread. Probably already mentioned but Ran out of 'dishwasher' detergent. Decided to put a little dish washing liquid instead. Cleanest my kitchen floor has ever been.Also, bottles of beer left in the freezer overnight explode.

My roommate in college learned this, as well. I was asleep and woke up to a commotion coming from the living room/kitchen area, and went to check it out, and found two of my other roommates standing in about waist-high foam. I think he used about as much dish soap as you would dishwasher detergent.

 

[bakes]

-Stole TP from gas station bathrooms-Slept on a mattress on the floor-Had the cliche cable spool and milk crates for furniture

Stole the TP out of dormsStole milk crates from behind a dairy Found a C&D landfill and loaded a truck up with old 2x4s. Loaded them into the basement via the windows. Used that wood for our fireplace.Upholstered the cable spool with plaid Herculon and used it as a chair.Used four speakers to support the bed.All of our college furniture (including a vibrating recliner that sparked and smelled like burning fur when we plugged it in) came from the side of a furniture store or the side of the road.We somehow purloined a chrome plated skillet from a pile of junk that later growled at us. Had a 42" long chunk of bowling alley as a table.*Found a bowling ball on the side of the road. Bowled with it.Got some movie theater seats and bolted them together for use as furniture.**these occurred after I was married.

 

[bakes]

Anyone have a beanbag chair with duct tape on it? Bonus if the beanbag was spot-welded to the carpet thanks to a big wad of pizza cheese?

Not me, but a friend of ours - called him Batmobile Mike because he'd always light his farts.

 

[bakes]

First college dump I lived in (the C&D fireplace one with the curbside furniture and homeless guy's skillet), we moved in and smelled gas. So we turned it off behind the stove, aired the place for a half hour, then turned it on again while my dad held a lit match to the gas lead. Found the leak. Rather than replace the lead we kept the inadvertent pilot light going for 3 days until the landlord replaced it.

 

[bakes]

Reminds me of one drunken yet quiet night at home with my roommates We scoured every magazine in the apartment for ads that had 1-800 numbers at the bottom. Not phone sex but stuff like "for more information on the Toyota Camary call for a free brochure" (this was pre-internet).For the next 5-6 weeks our mailbox was filled with literature from everything from car companies to adult diapers. And they were all addressed to people like Hugh G. Rection and Greg Brady.

To this day, I still occasionally get stuff from the AARP and the Scooter Store, and other associated old people-related things (I'm 33) because of my ####### roommates who signed me up for infomation on "The Rascal"

Got a call from an aluminum siding company in college, feigned interest, then gave them the dimensions of the dorm. "Yes, 30 feet by 200 feet... about 120 windows... two doors..."

 

[Pick]

Was never a bachelor thankfully.

Single women agree.

Indeed.

 

[RudiStein]

Bump for the hell of it.

 

[phrozen]

Great bump this thread made me laugh many times. Looking forward to reading them over. I still think about the story of the guy eating Mac and cheese with a staple remover

 

[Otis]

Had to wear tie/dress pants to work. My iron disappeared. Warmed a frying pan on the stove and ironed my clothes with it.

No way.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Sadly, my giant sandwich was about the most bachelor thing I've done in a while. Unless you count going to the strip club with Mrs. SLB.

 

[bostonfred]

"I was about to sit down to a nice pot of ramen, and enjoy it with a ruler. My roommate wanted some, so I dumped half of it on a piece of paper, and snapped the ruler in half so he would have a utensil as well.I've also eaten Easy Mac with a staple remover by cocking my head back and letting the noodles fall into my mouth."

Ruler!

This is the one I always think of from this thread.

 

[RudiStein]

Had to wear tie/dress pants to work. My iron disappeared. Warmed a frying pan on the stove and ironed my clothes with it.

No way.

Still awesome.

 

[commisholio]

Somehow missed this the first time around.

 

[Masked Vigilante]

GOAT thread right here folks.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Great thread.