What's the most 'bachelor' thing you ever did? (1 Viewer)

[jplvr]

-Heated garlic on the stove before having lady friends over to make the house smell like somebody had cooked

I believe this qualifies as "doing it wrong."

Used congealed bacon grease as lube for pleasuring myself

Got thrown off campus middle of sophomore year with two buddies. Moved into a ####hole off campus apartment and found a 20 lb turkey in the freezer. Date indicated it had been there over a year. Threw it in the oven on SB Sunday and when it looked done put it on a table in the middle of the room, among a hundred or so people. No plate, utensils, napkins or side dishes. In five minutes it was a skeleton. Juciest bird ever.

My chest hurts from trying to keep the laughter quiet and I can barely see becaue of the tears in my eyes. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Thanks.***Used condom? Good lord.

 

[shuke]

Got thrown off campus middle of sophomore year with two buddies. Moved into a ####hole off campus apartment and found a 20 lb turkey in the freezer. Date indicated it had been there over a year. Threw it in the oven on SB Sunday and when it looked done put it on a table in the middle of the room, among a hundred or so people. No plate, utensils, napkins or side dishes. In five minutes it was a skeleton. Juciest bird ever.

 

[chet]

went to mcdonalds with our own cheese and turned hamburgers into cheeseburgers

 

[proninja]

A whole lot of awesome in here

 

[ArcticEdge]

I've lived in my apartment for over a year and a half and I've only vacuumed once.

You own a vacuum Nancy?

 

[shuke]

went to mcdonalds with our own cheese and turned hamburgers into cheeseburgers

What?

 

[Tiger Fan]

Not exactly bachelor...but cheap and stupid:

In college, wanted to go see Pearl Jam in Birmingham (6 hour drive)...but none of us had cars that we thought would make the trip. We couldn't afford a hotel and a rental car (nobody would let us borrow their cars), so we found some shady rental car place that rented to us for cheap (under 25) and the 4 of us drove after class to the concert and back the same night. My buddy pretty much did the bob head sleep thing for the last 2 hours of the drive.

So stupid, but it was a good show and worth it

 

[saintsfan]

I can't compete with some of the foolishness in here, but

For two years, my brother and I used a matching set of popcorn cans as end tables. Mostly, it was to put beer on while watching TV

When I would run out of toilet paper, I found the phone book has the softest paper.

Once put together an artificial Xmas tree without reading the instructions, therefore, we had long branches on the top and short branches on the bottom. The most messed up tree you've ever seen. Didn't take it down for a year. Ended up putting empty beer cans and Mardi Gras beads on it when Xmas was over.

My brother and I both worked at Wendy's while in college and we once smuggled catsup cups out to use for jello shots. Once, the store closed early because of an impending hurricane, so the manager let us have leftover food. We stuffed the refrigerator with leftover potatoes, chicken, burgers, ect. Ate off of it for about a week, usually without warming it up. Just ate it cold.

I would go to nickel draft night with several rolls of nickels because I was a part time teller at a bank. I didn't steal the nickels, but I would get 5 or 6 rolls by exchanging bills. Just thought it was funny to walk into nickel draft night with 6 rolls of nickels. Never tipped. Used to walk up to chicks and say, let me buy you a beer and put a nickle on the bar. Smooooooth!!!!!

Used to deep fry Spam for a cheep dinner. Add a box of mac and cheese. Less than 5 bucks for the whole thing.

Had a lounge chair that had basically collapsed in the middle. Put a big flower sofa pillow on it and used it for 3 years.

I have also done the regualr dishwashing soap in the dishwasher. Don't do it.

 

[Shtaym Syek]

For the first 3 weeks I lived here, I didn't have furniture. No couch, no chair, no bed. I slept on an air mattress in the living room.

I had my 50" TV, though. Necessities.

 

[Nigel]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

I want to party with you.

 

[wadegarrett]

how the #### did I miss this thread!

Gold, Rudi, Gold!!

 

[chet]

went to mcdonalds with our own cheese and turned hamburgers into cheeseburgers

What?

Hamburgers were on sale for $0.29 each, and $0.20 more for a cheeseburger seemed like a lot so we brought our own cheese.

 

[wadegarrett]

I sold grilled cheeses to tour with the Grateful Dead. Personal record was 180 after a concert. I would shout "a buck a piece or two for three dollars!" You'd be amazed how many times I actually sold the two for $3.

I may have bought from you...ever sell at Richfield Coliseum?

In a small 1 bedroom apartment, 8 guys playing full-contact street hockey.

during the winter we used to play wiffleball in a 2 bedroom apartmentcouldn't afford to put up blinds or curtains so I took black cloth I found in the apartment dumpster and nailed it over my windowshad a roommate who didn't want to waste water by flushing the toilet so he used to throw the TP in garbage can...he lasted less than a week

 

[RudiStein]

Once put together an artificial Xmas tree without reading the instructions, therefore, we had long branches on the top and short branches on the bottom. The most messed up tree you've ever seen. Didn't take it down for a year. Ended up putting empty beer cans and Mardi Gras beads on it when Xmas was over.



I have also done the regualr dishwashing soap in the dishwasher. Don't do it.

And the dish soap thing in the dishwasher can be done but you can only use a few drops. You can also use it in the washing machine in a pinch as well (jeans and t-shirts and just a few drops as well).

 

[shuke]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

 

[george]

Lived in a house with no AC. Bedroom was only about 6x10. Drove 2 nails in opposite walls and hung a box fan up horizontally as a ceiling fan using kite string.

Mac/Cheese with Tuna was a staple.

Also, 3lb box of spaghetti cooked could last many days for food.

 

[wadegarrett]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

Know a guy with a huge melon that went to BC. One of them wasn't named Steve was he?

 

[Disco Stu]

Used to deep fry Spam for a cheep dinner. Add a box of mac and cheese. Less than 5 bucks for the whole thing.

Is that cheap? I feel like most of my meals today cost less than $5.

 

[texasheat]

Someone explain to me why you'd ever do dishes in the bathtub?

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

Someone explain to me why you'd ever do dishes in the bathtub?

the dishes are piled up so high in your sink and all over the counters that it renders the kitchen faucet unusable.

 

[RudiStein]

Someone explain to me why you'd ever do dishes in the bathtub?

That was something Tony Robbins used to say all the time. I guess it was an example of how he was a bachelor/loser before he became rich by telling people he was a loser before.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

tape measure down?

 

[Babu Bhatt2]

After running out of clean plates I took the hubcap off of my roommates car and used it as a plate. (It was his turn to do the dishes.)

 

[E-Z Glider]

One drunken night my buddy and I stole a USA Today vending machine on the way home from a bar. Not really sure why. About a week later I was picking him up for $0.25 draft night and found him in the basement with a sledgehammer trying to bust the coin box open for beer money. Must've taken us 3-4 hours to bust the damn thing open. About a month later the cops showed up because of a party and spotted the busted up newspaper machine in the corner. They made us carry it out (along with a bunch of stolen road signs) and put it in their trunk.

 

[General Malaise]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

I want to party with you.

+1

 

[CletiusMaximus]

Someone explain to me why you'd ever do dishes in the bathtub?

the dishes are piled up so high in your sink and all over the counters that it renders the kitchen faucet unusable.

Sophomore year, two of my roommates worked at a large hotel in Madison, so they brought home stolen plates, forks, knives once a week or so. We never washed any dishes all year long - it got pretty nasty in the kitchen but was an impressive sight as the stacks got higher and higher. At the end of the year, we dumped it all in a large dumpster outside a bar behind our house.

 

[shuke]

Speaking of dishes, we had a very small unusable back yard as our house backed up to like 3 other house. One time we had gone so long without doing the dishes that some of them looked too difficult to clean. We ended up throwing about a dozen plates and bowl into our backyard since the back door was right next to the sink.

 

[saintsfan]

Used to deep fry Spam for a cheep dinner. Add a box of mac and cheese. Less than 5 bucks for the whole thing.

Is that cheap? I feel like most of my meals today cost less than $5.

I don't know. In my adult life, the cheapest thing I can think to make is Red Beans and Rice and it costs at least $3 just for the sausage.Spam and Mac Cheese is not Ramen Noodle cheap, but it's pretty cheap none the less.

 

[saintsfan]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

tape measure down?

They could have used a tape measure, but it's not nearly as funny, IMO. That's why I would have done it, anyway.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

tape measure down?

Not sure I want to party with you, however.

 

[Jaysus]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

tape measure down?

Not sure I want to party with you, however.

 

[joffer]

But did you have the random orange traffic cone in the corner for 'decoration'?

Never had the traffic cone, but I did have a christmas lawn ornament (a reindeer made of christmas lights) indoors for decoration. Hooked it up to a light switch to turn it on and off.Also used as decoration:- expired licence plates- random computer parts- framed photograph of someone else's dogs- various WWE action figures- different colored beer cans stacked in such a manner as to spell out my address

Are you by chance employed by Applebee's as their decorator?

 

[Tiger Fan]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

tape measure down?

They could have used a tape measure, but it's not nearly as funny, IMO. That's why I would have done it, anyway.

sarcasm down?

 

[Tiger Fan]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

tape measure down?

Not sure I want to party with you, however.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

tape measure down?

They could have used a tape measure, but it's not nearly as funny, IMO. That's why I would have done it, anyway.

sarcasm down?

Okay, we can party.

 

[jplvr]

Tape measure doesn't tell the whole story. Water displacement was $$$$$$$.

 

[rabidfireweasel]

Used epoxy to join a barn door handle/pull to a1 gallon fishbowl for my "party mug". I auctioned it off when I stopped drinking.

Lived in an uninsulated furnished beach rental during the winter months. It had a wood stove. For months, we used people's fences, stolen pallets from home depot, and our neighbors fire wood. Then he got a big dog to guard his wood. During a bad cold spell when we were extra broke, we started burning furniture/house parts in the stove- dressers, chairs, moulding, closet rods- anything flammable.

Fashioned a tremendous ice smoking contraption out of a empty pop corn container and 8' of PVC. It was known to one and all as "Orville".

TO increase the power of Orville, we had a "Smoking room".

The smoking room was this semi-hazardous space between the first and second floors of the apartment that used to house a dumbwaiter. We would fire up Orvive and go up and down between floors.

During a bad run of online poker, I took a bad beat and threw a giant pepper shaker stolen from a restaurant patio across the room. It busted through the drywall and got stuck.

That became it's permanent home.

On the poker table, wrote the name in sharpie of the dude's who sat in each spot. Then wrote demeaning things about them on the table.

Regularly held - penis-yata parties - with oodles of ladies. Giant pinata shaped like a penis filled with glitter, condoms and lube. I wasn't sure how it would fly the first time out- but hotties were very excited to drink and be merry, mash the pinata, dive to floor for condoms/lube, apply lube and glitter to selves, and seek out a partner for the condoms.

For the 5+ years that I lived there, I always had glitter stuck somewhere on my body when I left my home.

 

[NeverEnough]

I've lived in my apartment for over a year and a half and I've only vacuumed once.

 

[Harry Manback]

I've lived in my apartment for over a year and a half and I've only vacuumed once.

Yeah this is crazy, kids are notoriously messy.

 

[ArcticEdge]

Second semester of my brief stint in college. I had spent most my meager savings on new hockey gear and tires for my crappy old Topaz. Week or so later I got fired from my night job as a bus boy for putting a piece of prime rib in a to-go container (for myself) that this lady barely touched.

Couldnt make rent in the apartment I was in and didnt want to move home. Had two buddies who lived in the dorms, one of which was rarely there as he stayed at his girlfriends apartment a lot. I put my futon and crappy tv in the trunk of my car, my hockey gear in the back seat (now had to get to games an hour early to dry out my frozen gear with the wall blow dryers) and all my clothes in a gym bag and moved into the dorms. I picked up a new part time job of driving these three Alaska native cousins, who were from Shishmaref Island (look it up), to the movies three nights a week for 20 bucks a night. I met them playing ping pong in the common room, they had fat stipends from the state, and this being their first time in "the big city" were too afraid to use taxis. It was a sweet gig.

My buddies had given me the code for the side door of the dorms and I would hide in the bathroom or their closet when the RA (dorm monitor) made his rounds to kick out guests at 9pm. This RA was a real ball buster, he reninds me of Kent from Real Genius. He was a #####. He had it out for me too, as I was a repeat offender of being in the dorms too late the semester before (mainly for sega hockey tournaments).

After a few weeks of hiding when he made his rounds, I decided there had to be a better way. My buddy who lived with his girlfriend most the time was half Hawaiian and had long black hair. I bought a wig for 5 bucks that matched his hair as close as I could come. I would lay with my back to the door under the covers with this wig on, like I was reading or sleeping. "Kent" would just do a quick peek in and leave. Somehow this worked every time.

The last night of the semester, Kent is still doing rounds (what an ###) and comes in our room. He is about to leave, and I get up, turn to him with this wig on (he looks at me with this astonished face), and I walk past him, pat him on the shoulder, and say:

"Hey Kent, excuse me, gotta take a whiz.."

 

[ArcticEdge]

Other than freaking out Kent, the best part of the semester was watching the three cousins hold their noses in the back of my car as it stunk so bad from my hockey gear.

 

[General Malaise]

Had a clog in the shower. Instead of doing anything about it we just put a chair in there and stood on it.

 

[RudiStein]

That reminds me of the time that me and my two roommates decided to actually clean the entire apartment. One guy got the kitchen, the other the living room, I got the bathroom.

It wasn't that bad until I got to the shower doors. It was a typical shower-tub combo with sliding doors. The track they ran on was filled with this jelly like goop. Like a combo of soap residue, mildew, and yeti snot.

I had to figure out a way to scoop it all out. I took a tea spoon and then used a bowling ball (didn't have a hammer) to 'fold' the spoon until it was narrow enough to use to scoop out the track. I almost puked.

 

[joffer]

Had a clog in the shower. Instead of doing anything about it we just put a chair in there and stood on it.

my favorite of the thread

 

[Native]

Raise your hand if you've swept carpet because you couldn't afford a vacuum?

<--- This guy.

Married with three kids and still do this!

 

[General Malaise]

That reminds me of the time that me and my two roommates decided to actually clean the entire apartment. One guy got the kitchen, the other the living room, I got the bathroom.

It wasn't that bad until I got to the shower doors. It was a typical shower-tub combo with sliding doors. The track they ran on was filled with this jelly like goop. Like a combo of soap residue, mildew, and yeti snot.

I had to figure out a way to scoop it all out. I took a tea spoon and then used a bowling ball (didn't have a hammer) to 'fold' the spoon until it was narrow enough to use to scoop out the track. I almost puked.

I used a small brass sun-dial my weird aunt got me for xmas one year as a hammer for ages.

 

[Righetti]

in college, piss-poor I would go to 7-11 and buy a $0.99 hot-dog and then proceed to fill the box it came in to the rim with the cheesewizz. Had so much of it one day i ran behind the 7-11 to drop a deuce and used the cheese covered box to wipe up..

Resourceful!

i disgust myself

 

[Das Boot]

Not sure how bachelorish this was, but anyway: One of my roomates in college had an enormous head. Nobody else at BC had a head nearly as large, until junior year someone spotted some doofus freshman with a noggin that he claimed rivaled it. We tracked the kid down and staged a "head-off" at a party where they each stuck their head in a bucket of water to see who displaced the most liquid. Tons of dough wagered on each side, the freshman won.

Here's a late entry in the huge noggin contest:http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/11/...dex.html?hpt=C1

 

[gmbacm]