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What's the oldest "classic" thread you remember at FBG (or FFT) (1 Viewer)

I think it was Fat Guy who won the smack-off on the strength of the metaphor being the superior invention to the lock, but I can't remember too clearly anymore.

Russian Bride Draft was the zenith for me here.  Only time I ever shared my dorky activity on this message board with brick and mortar friends.  So damn funny.  I think the reason why we had the Deadly Animals Draft is because Cosjobs quit the Russian Bride Draft after everybody kept making fun of his brides.  He was drafting girls that looked like Vic Tabak and defending them against all our slings and arrows until he just couldn't take it anymore.  We had to find a replacement drafter. :lmao:  

 
Who was the guy who built the goalpost in his backyard?

I also have a vague memory of the phrase "punch him in the face in front of his wife and kids", which became a bit of a catch phrase for a few years.

 
All of the good early ones are taken, but the fictitious arab porn titles thread (that was since deleted) killed me.  The creativity was insane.

 
Da Guru said:
How did Little Melvin's peanut allergy turn into 110 pages??
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Because a semi hot woman from the internet turned up and mojo couldn't keep it in his pants, then pickles got involved. 

A lot of the classic stuff in that thread was deleted as part of the divorce proceedings. 

 
Bruce Dickinson said:
Found the box score!  It was against Miami.  Great callback.  

IIRC, the line was Steelers -7.  I remember the thread exploding after that Joey Porter TAINT.  If he doesn't take it to the house, the Steelers run the clock out and don't cover.    



 
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I remember not signing up for it because I was convinced it was an FBI ring and you all were going to be rounded up. 

 
Joe Summer said:
I also have a vague memory of the phrase "punch him in the face in front of his wife and kids", which became a bit of a catch phrase for a few years.
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I remember that as an FFToday Geek Club thing, but that was a long time ago so I may be misremembering.

 
culdeus said:
Because a semi hot woman from the internet turned up and mojo couldn't keep it in his pants, then pickles got involved. 

A lot of the classic stuff in that thread was deleted as part of the divorce proceedings. 
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My memory of that is so hazy (plus, I was using this thread as my personal diary back then and didn't care about anybody else's ####). 

Can somebody provide a cliffs notes?

 
General Malaise said:
I think it was Fat Guy who won the smack-off on the strength of the metaphor being the superior invention to the lock, but I can't remember too clearly anymore.
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No, as noted before that was Vivian Darkbloom.

The smack-off's reputation has benefitted greatly by the fact that it was purged like ten years ago.  Honestly most of it was pretty terrible.  No comparison between those threads and great FFA threads like the Jeopardy/Family Feud/Match Game run or Stoner Claus.

 
MarvinTScamper said:
I don't remember why I got here, but it was the :11: and the gay dudes at OBC that I laughed and laughed and laughed about.

I got run over in the smackdown by the lawyer nerd from Cali, had a hidden message in his chatter...well done.

Then work started to monitor message boards, and freaked out when JZilla posted something that referenced my work, as though I was offering advice.  I walked away.  For A LONG time.  Now I laugh because it's still all the same dudes here making me laugh.

Short list of all time posters:

1) Shuke

2) JoeT

3) GM

4) Pickles

5) Cabin Owner
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Interesting.  I thought I made you walk away. :lmao:

 
Zow said:
My memory of that is so hazy (plus, I was using this thread as my personal diary back then and didn't care about anybody else's ####). 

Can somebody provide a cliffs notes?
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People talk #### about peanut kids. A mom shows up. Tried to set us straight. Mojo starts I flirting with her. Mojo is married. She's divorced. 

Mojo sleeps with her a few times.  She blackmails him and calls his wife or maybe shows up at his house . Pickles gets involved in this part leading to the "I'm from the internet" line . Wife leaves him and he leaves the ffa.

Some other I girl posts nudes in middle of this. That's all I remember. 

 
Capella said:
I remember not signing up for it because I was convinced it was an FBI ring and you all were going to be rounded up. 
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That was the smart thing to do.  

Too lazy to see if @IvanKaramazov's exact words survived the purge.  It was along the lines of, "If you can't trust an Internet-only offshore business in an unregulated industry who only sends and receives money through third parties, who can you trust?"

There were also some good stories explaining the Mansion promotion to wives/girlfriends unfamiliar with how sports betting worked. Got even better with people who put down $500ish on Miami +7 at another book to guarantee profit on the promotion.  

"So you bet $1000 and you either win $1000 or they let you keep it?"

"Well, $1100 to win $1000 because of the vigorish, but yeah."

"Viga-what?"

"it's like a commission the book keeps to handle the bet."

"Ok, so you need $1100 for this?  What if they don't pay?

"Actually, I need $1650.  $1100 to put on Pittsburgh at this one sportsbook, then $550 to win $500 on Miami at another sportsbook so I can win either way.  It's called a hedge."

(erases dots from planning calendar)

 
culdeus said:
People talk #### about peanut kids. A mom shows up. Tried to set us straight. Mojo starts I flirting with her. Mojo is married. She's divorced. 

Mojo sleeps with her a few times.  She blackmails him and calls his wife or maybe shows up at his house . Pickles gets involved in this part leading to the "I'm from the internet" line . Wife leaves him and he leaves the ffa.

Some other I girl posts nudes in middle of this. That's all I remember. 
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Wasn't Imp also somehow involved?

 
fatguyinalittlecoat said:
Not really a classic, but the first thread that got me hooked here was one where somebody (maybe @Maurile Tremblay) mentioned an obscure book called "Strange But True Sports Stories" and it turned out that like a dozen of us were obsessed with that book when we were kids and knew it pretty much cover to cover. 
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I can't remember for sure if I participated in that thread, but I had that book memorized when I was a kid and vaguely remember the thread. I read that damn thing every night before bed for a while.  I remember being surprised later in life that not everyone knows the story of Eddie Gaedel.

 
Andrew74 said:
The one thread that got me hooked here on a daily basis was poor Man In The Yellow Hat's camping trip. 
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The one where his gal was, arguably, dillying around with Steve from the bowling alley?  That led to possibly the single best post of all time, something along the lines of (with large font):

You:     / / / / / / / / / /

Steve: XXXXXXXXXX

 
The ones that come to mind are:

1.  Man in the Yellow Hat's camping trip thread where Steve supposedly violated his wife in the bathroom stall. 

2.  Corey the Bartender

3.  Aristocrat's fishing expedition about having sex with one of his neighbors and talking about her cat.  I even think he had pics of stuff with pennies in order to prove what was going on.  That was a thread I was hitting F5 on throughout the day for updates.  

 
tri-man 47 said:
The one where his gal was, arguably, dillying around with Steve from the bowling alley?  That led to possibly the single best post of all time, something along the lines of (with large font):

You:     / / / / / / / / / /

Steve: XXXXXXXXXX
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Yeah booze.  Steve and his woman in the bathroom. Then she's pregnant. 

 
TobiasFunke said:
I can't remember for sure if I participated in that thread, but I had that book memorized when I was a kid and vaguely remember the thread. I read that damn thing every night before bed for a while.  I remember being surprised later in life that not everyone knows the story of Eddie Gaedel.
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Isn't that Bill Veeck's guy from the St. Louis Browns in WWII or something? 

Swear I'm doing this off the top of my head. Why wasn't I in that thread? Why did I find out about all this stuff too late? 

 
One not mentioned yet that I got a bunch of laughs from was the guy whose wife was "cheating" on him through his World of Warcraft guild online teammate.  All was good when his wife promised him an epic mount or something like that.

 
fatguyinalittlecoat said:
No, as noted before that was Vivian Darkbloom.

The smack-off's reputation has benefitted greatly by the fact that it was purged like ten years ago.  Honestly most of it was pretty terrible.  No comparison between those threads and great FFA threads like the Jeopardy/Family Feud/Match Game run or Stoner Claus.
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I never lost in the SmackOff but ended up disqualified for some bull#### reason. Agree that it was generally awful.

 
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