When watching porn.. (1 Viewer)

[General Malaise]

Here's what I think it is:

A girl calls a plumber to her house to help extract her hand from the garbage disposal. He comes over. She's stuck. He then proceeds to rail her while she's stuck. I'm guessing with only one hand free, she moves around like a cowboy riding a bull.

Close?

Almost. You forgot the part where he turns on the garbage disposal.

Ewwwwwwwwww, horror porn. Has that ever been done? I have seen some comedy porn before and I must say, it makes an episode of HeeHaw look like Curb Your Enthusiasm by contrast.

 

[sdp1226]

One thing that the online boom has taught me is to go lefty. Right hand on the mouse, left hand on the spouse. I am now ambidickstrous.

 

[Bogart]

I have a hard time finding porn I can watch anymore with real sex in it because it all has #2 hole penetration which turns me off.

Ive gravitated to just watching girls on their cams. Its more intimate and I can also believe they are regular girls which I could actually meet one day

So if your GF or MRS asked for a little back door action would you oblige or would you reach for a toy to help her with that request. Sometimes its fun to travel the dirt road than always stay on the pavement.

I will not do anything with the ######. Call me old fashioned but I do not consider that a sex hole. That is a hole that was only meant to have things come out of it.

My girlfriend has never requested anything involving the butt, nor has any woman ive ever been involved with. She has done it with partners in the past, and she didenjoy it on occasion but for the most part didnt. She is happy I am not in to it and said that is rare these days. She is very happy that she can enjoy intimate and caring sex and says with me is the first time she has felt that a man is truly making love to her instead of just banging her.

Under no circumstances, no matter how much I love a woman, will I ever do anything sexual with the butt. I find it disgusting and a turn off. Its just not for me.

This is also me. Except the exact opposite.

 

[Dentist]

Here's what I think it is:

A girl calls a plumber to her house to help extract her hand from the garbage disposal. He comes over. She's stuck. He then proceeds to rail her while she's stuck. I'm guessing with only one hand free, she moves around like a cowboy riding a bull.

Close?

Almost. You forgot the part where he turns on the garbage disposal.

Ewwwwwwwwww, horror porn. Has that ever been done? I have seen some comedy porn before and I must say, it makes an episode of HeeHaw look like Curb Your Enthusiasm by contrast.

oh yeah... there's a big genre of mutiliation porn. It's really horrible. I couldn't keep a boner going

 

[Dentist]

One thing that the online boom has taught me is to go lefty. Right hand on the mouse, left hand on the spouse. I am now ambidickstrous.

definitely left stick

 

[mquinnjr]

Here's what I think it is:

A girl calls a plumber to her house to help extract her hand from the garbage disposal. He comes over. She's stuck. He then proceeds to rail her while she's stuck. I'm guessing with only one hand free, she moves around like a cowboy riding a bull.

Close?

Almost. You forgot the part where he turns on the garbage disposal.

Ewwwwwwwwww, horror porn. Has that ever been done? I have seen some comedy porn before and I must say, it makes an episode of HeeHaw look like Curb Your Enthusiasm by contrast.

There's a Walking Dead parody out there, it's....interesting.

 

[RUSF18]

One thing that the online boom has taught me is to go lefty. Right hand on the mouse, left hand on the spouse. I am now ambidickstrous.

definitely left stick

The Stranger.

 

[dickey moe]

The trick is trying to convince my left hand to fall asleep.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I keep meaning to click on one of the animated (cartoon) vids but never have.

 

[MC Gas Money]

The trick is trying to convince my left hand to fall asleep.

Maybe dentist will send you some topical novacaine

 

[St. Louis Bob]

It's gotten to the point where I spend twice as long trying to pick out the right video to use than I do actually watching the video. And twice as long might be severely understating it here. Kind of miss the days where you got what you got and you had to make it work.

Once again me and my brotha from anotha motha are on the same page.

 

[Zow]

It's gotten to the point where I spend twice as long trying to pick out the right video to use than I do actually watching the video. And twice as long might be severely understating it here. Kind of miss the days where you got what you got and you had to make it work.

Yep.

Ten minutes picking out the video. Two minutes watching with usually a pretty quick fast forward to end.

 

[Jeff Vader]

Also thanks for the NA tip and a special thanks to the Wheel of Fortune champs who spelled it out for me. For second there I thought Hack was into heroin addicts getting violated or something, with a plot.

 

[Premier]

A girl I was dating a while back would occasionally come over to my condo. She would get into watching her dumb HGTV and I would get bored so I would grab my phone and hide it behind the sofa where we shared a wall with our neighbors. I would slyly get up to get a drink and hit play. I would have the volume pretty low.

"And next, we being to renovate this country kitch..."

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

PUT IT IN MY ### BABY

OH YEA BANG ME WITH THAT GIANT **** BABY

and now we turn our attention to the master bedro..."

#### ME LIKE YOU MEAN IT

She would always bang on the wall and yell for them to shut up. They were probably watching the same show she was. She amazingly never caught on. She was really dumb but still.

 

[MC Gas Money]

It's gotten to the point where I spend twice as long trying to pick out the right video to use than I do actually watching the video. And twice as long might be severely understating it here. Kind of miss the days where you got what you got and you had to make it work.

Yep. Ten minutes picking out the video. Two minutes watching with usually a pretty quick fast forward to end.

I feel you.

We really need some sort of porn pandora

 

[Christo]

It's gotten to the point where I spend twice as long trying to pick out the right video to use than I do actually watching the video. And twice as long might be severely understating it here. Kind of miss the days where you got what you got and you had to make it work.

Yep. Ten minutes picking out the video. Two minutes watching with usually a pretty quick fast forward to end.

I feel you.

Is woz okay with that?

 

[mquinnjr]

As an aside have you check out any of the "chick getting her hand stuck in a drain" porn? That's a growing segment and I like it

I was telling a bunch of FBGs about this exact scene at a cornhole a couple months ago.

adding that to the "to-do" list to check on the home PC.

Wait, what?

I utilize the Notepad function on my phone. I have things listed that I need to do, such as "Send out FF league email; email XYZ person; get updated Pool ID for HOA pool; update homeowners insurance; Google for video of "chick getting hand stuck in drain pr0n."

Because, I need to see this.

No, I understand the process of jotting down reminder notes. I need to know more about this "hand stuck in the drain" porn.

SPOILER ALERT?

What more do you need to know?

Mom has her hand stuck in a drain.

Her step-son comes into "help her out" but in the process of having his crotch up against her butt while he's trying to pull her out he gets a boner and then she is mostly-consensually boned and then he has to leave for soccer practice sociology class.

I"m not going to tell you if she gets unstuck from the drain though because i don't want to ruin the ending

"Go get the baby oil, I'm ready to try anything at this point!!!"

so

A tip of the cap to you gentlemen on finding this one, GREAT plot.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

I'm gonna be late to yoga!

 

[Osaurus]

A girl I was dating a while back would occasionally come over to my condo. She would get into watching her dumb HGTV and I would get bored so I would grab my phone and hide it behind the sofa where we shared a wall with our neighbors. I would slyly get up to get a drink and hit play. I would have the volume pretty low.

"And next, we being to renovate this country kitch..."

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

PUT IT IN MY ### BABY

OH YEA BANG ME WITH THAT GIANT **** BABYand now we turn our attention to the master bedro..."

#### ME LIKE YOU MEAN IT

She would always bang on the wall and yell for them to shut up. They were probably watching the same show she was. She amazingly never caught on. She was really dumb but still.

Well played sir

 

[HughHoney]

Here's what I think it is:

A girl calls a plumber to her house to help extract her hand from the garbage disposal. He comes over. She's stuck. He then proceeds to rail her while she's stuck. I'm guessing with only one hand free, she moves around like a cowboy riding a bull.

Close?

Keep going. I'm almost there.

 

[rodg12]

It's gotten to the point where I spend twice as long trying to pick out the right video to use than I do actually watching the video. And twice as long might be severely understating it here. Kind of miss the days where you got what you got and you had to make it work.

Yep. Ten minutes picking out the video. Two minutes watching with usually a pretty quick fast forward to end.

I feel you.

We really need some sort of porn pandora

This kind of exists...

 

[Zow]

It's gotten to the point where I spend twice as long trying to pick out the right video to use than I do actually watching the video. And twice as long might be severely understating it here. Kind of miss the days where you got what you got and you had to make it work.

Yep. Ten minutes picking out the video. Two minutes watching with usually a pretty quick fast forward to end.

I feel you.

Is woz okay with that?

I'm not worried. This guy has already shared how he'd never get near the 2 hole. I'm safe.

 

[Bogart]

Levi makes such silly messes.

 

[hagmania]

not a lot of acting in beastiality

It's all about passion in those films.

 

[Da Guru]

over under on number of replies before this is :IBTL: i bet 10

Over/under may be 10 pages.

 

[Al O'Pecia]

The Stranger.

Is this when you sit on your hand until you lose feeling in it so that it then seems like a stranger's hand when you masturbate?

Because, if so, I recommend The Stranger.

 

[mquinnjr]

not a lot of acting in beastiality

It's all about passion in those films.

4 minutes in, I will definitely watch this in entirety.

These people....exist? I guess so.

ETA: Watched in entirety. Yikes....

 

[HughHoney]

No storyline needed but the chick needs to be an amateur, just starting out, or not oversell her enjoyment. Can't stand the fake hair, nails, boobs. The caked on make up and the fake moaning, no thanks.

The guy walking around the Czech streets have been interesting. It's real to me dammit.

 

[Ilov80s]

Guys, sometimes they get stuck under the bed, it's not just the sink drain.

 

[jamny]

Shoutout for Cinnabelle on cam4. And dagnastay or whatever her name is.

 

[bicycle_seat_sniffer]

Lol ive seen the bathtub drain stuck porn, good stuff

Sounds like one of u is trying to hard and not like,the butt, sheesh

 

[MindCrime]

Can we get a "point to the drain" smiley? That way we can remember the genius of this thread long after it's gone.

Bravo

 

[AcerFC]

I would like to once get into the club where 50 girls want nothing more than to please you while all thier best friends clap and cheer

 

[Raider Nation]

I would like to once get into the club where 50 girls want nothing more than to please you while all thier best friends clap and cheer

You need to have smooth feet.... like a dancing bear.

 

[Abraham]

Pandora for porn would make tons of money.

 

[mquinnjr]

I would like to once get into the club where 50 girls want nothing more than to please you while all thier best friends clap and cheer

You need to have smooth feet.... like a dancing bear.

 

[TenTimes]

anyone mention camshows? thats where its at now

 

[bweiser]

i'm probably one of the few who doesn't like the really big fake breasts. i'll take small, natural ones every day.

also, kinda like hentai porn.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

i'm probably one of the few who doesn't like the really big fake breasts. i'll take small, natural ones every day.

also, kinda like hentai porn.

Not a bolt on fan either

 

[rikishiboy]

The trick is trying to convince my left hand to fall asleep.

Just as I read this my left hand fell asleep.....

 

[Tiger Fan]

I would like to once get into the club where 50 girls want nothing more than to please you while all thier best friends clap and cheer

My kids were watching something on netflix and I hear them singing "Bingo, the Dancing Bear....."

All I could do was chuckle

 

[MC Gas Money]

i'm probably one of the few who doesn't like the really big fake breasts. i'll take small, natural ones every day.

also, kinda like hentai porn.

Im with you on the boobs

Not the hentai

 

[MC Gas Money]

anyone mention camshows? thats where its at now

I was raving about them yesterday

 

[sbonomo]

over under on number of replies before this is :IBTL: i bet 10

I am truly amazed!Page 2 sucker

 

[MC Gas Money]

Since I started watching cam shows ive really learned to appreciate a good striptease. Most of the time I just like to watch them strip without any toying.

My generation really missed out on the art of a good burlesque show.

 

[Dentist]

anyone mention camshows? thats where its at now

I've experimented with this genre and maybe i'm checking out the wrong stuff but it just doesn't do it for me.

is there more to them than just single girls typing on the computer and doing stuff to themselves?

 

[TenTimes]

for me there's just something about it being live, and i like amatuers

 

[MC Gas Money]

anyone mention camshows? thats where its at now

I've experimented with this genre and maybe i'm checking out the wrong stuff but it just doesn't do it for me.

is there more to them than just single girls typing on the computer and doing stuff to themselves?

Sometimes its 2 or more.

It does take a while to find good ones.

Pro Tip- when you watch imagine you are a soldier in Iraq and skyping with your girl. Dont think about Jody holding the camera.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Here's what I think it is:

A girl calls a plumber to her house to help extract her hand from the garbage disposal. He comes over. She's stuck. He then proceeds to rail her while she's stuck. I'm guessing with only one hand free, she moves around like a cowboy riding a bull.

Close?

Almost. You forgot the part where he turns on the garbage disposal.

That's sick.

My favorite related video would be when a young Belladonna was waiting for the plumber but kept using the plunger on the drain anyways. Euro plumber drives into her area, dog barks at plumber, plumber barks back at dog. Euro plumber finally arrives and takes care of her plumbing problem. Too much plot, but I found it funny.

 

[General Malaise]

A girl I was dating a while back would occasionally come over to my condo. She would get into watching her dumb HGTV and I would get bored so I would grab my phone and hide it behind the sofa where we shared a wall with our neighbors. I would slyly get up to get a drink and hit play. I would have the volume pretty low.

"And next, we being to renovate this country kitch..."

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

PUT IT IN MY ### BABY

OH YEA BANG ME WITH THAT GIANT **** BABY

and now we turn our attention to the master bedro..."

#### ME LIKE YOU MEAN IT

She would always bang on the wall and yell for them to shut up. They were probably watching the same show she was. She amazingly never caught on. She was really dumb but still.

This is genius.