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Where Does The Time Go? (1 Viewer)

Anarchy99

Anarchy99

Footballguy
I agree that I am probably the last person around here to start a sappy, emotional real life thread. And as far as I am concerned, The Cat's In The Cradle is one of the cheesiest songs ever written. But it dawned on me today that our son, who has been playing just about every sport under the son since preschool, has one more event and then his sports days are done. And it went by like that. 

Hundreds of games, thousands of practices. I remember coaching him along the way . . . hating the rain, the cold, the mud, the travel, the time commitment, the turnovers, the dropped passes, the rivalries. Over the years, I recall all the sports that ultimately fell by the wayside (baseball, soccer, track and field, basketball, skiing) and the ones that stuck through high school (lettered in football, lacrosse, golf, and wrestling). All the times I cursed the traffic, or the officiating, or the fate of a bad bounce. The ups, the downs, the high, the lows, all the articles I wrote for the local newspapers on the town and school teams..

He's going to Ohio State in their Honors Program in Engineering and has decided he doesn't want to play anything in college. He just wants to get his work done and enjoy college and doesn't want the commitment required to play a sport. (He's been recruited by colleges for wresting for a year.)

That means this weekend's New England Wrestling Championships is it. And it didn't hit me until today. If he wins even one match, he will set his high school's record for most wins by a wrestler. He wasn't even born when the record was set. Win, lose, or draw, come Sunday, the bus stops here. Last stop, whether you want it or not.

:banned: :grad: :thanks: :sadbanana: :bow:

 
It's kinda funny. I'll be coaching my daughter's tee ball this Spring. It doesn't seem like it that long ago that I was playing tee ball myself.

Sounds like your son has had a great run!

 
I feel you on this one, Anarchy. It's not sports for every kid -- but there some milestones along the way that really make you stop and take a moment.

I'll be composed at my children's HS graduations. But I make no promises for the afternoon they come back home from the last classroom day of their senior years.

 
My oldest is almost 3.5 yrs old, my youngest less than 2, and my wife is knocked up.  I don't even want to think about them graduating HS and being done with sports.  Congrats on your son's success.

 
TheWalkmen said:
My oldest is almost 3.5 yrs old, my youngest less than 2, and my wife is knocked up.  I don't even want to think about them graduating HS and being done with sports.  Congrats on your son's success.
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One day ... you're going to look up and wonder when, exactly, it was the kids stopped watching the kiddie TV shows.

 
My oldest is a sophomore. Just finished his team's terrible basketball season. They were 4-16 and I missed one game...and I hated doing so.  It ins't lost on me how quick it goes and when the final horn blows and the last out is made, I'll be able to say I was there, through it all. I'll have no regrets and I hope as he gets older, he'll appreciate that. 

 
Doug B said:
I feel you on this one, Anarchy. It's not sports for every kid -- but there some milestones along the way that really make you stop and take a moment.

I'll be composed at my children's HS graduations. But I make no promises for the afternoon they come back home from the last classroom day of their senior years.
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You can say that you will be composed at their graduations (I said the same thing), but then you see them walking across the stage and all of a sudden it gets very dusty in the room.  :cry:

 
I will never forgot when we coached a Pop Warner team and told the kids it wasn't about winning or losing, it was about learning to play the game and becoming a team. They went 0-10 that year. Two years later, the same kids went to the state championship and were 5 yards away from scoring the winning TD in a tie game with seconds to go. They called a quick hitter to a receiver on the line on the outside, but the football gods were not kind that day. A defensive lineman jumped and deflected the pass and it ended up bouncing behind the receiver and stopping on the grass. It should have been called an incompletion, but the refs missed the deflection and ruled it a backwards pass. A defender eventually scooped it up and went the distance when the refs didn't make a call on the play. The players, the coaches, the parents, and everyone there balled uncontrollably. That was the most gut wrenching way to lose I have ever seen.

 
snellman said:
You can say that you will be composed at their graduations (I said the same thing), but then you see them walking across the stage and all of a sudden it gets very dusty in the room.  :cry:
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i wont even try to pretend. I'm a huge softy when kids are involved. 

 
Anarchy99 said:
I agree that I am probably the last person around here to start a sappy, emotional real life thread. And as far as I am concerned, The Cat's In The Cradle is one of the cheesiest songs ever written. But it dawned on me today that our son, who has been playing just about every sport under the son since preschool, has one more event and then his sports days are done. And it went by like that. 

Hundreds of games, thousands of practices. I remember coaching him along the way . . . hating the rain, the cold, the mud, the travel, the time commitment, the turnovers, the dropped passes, the rivalries. Over the years, I recall all the sports that ultimately fell by the wayside (baseball, soccer, track and field, basketball, skiing) and the ones that stuck through high school (lettered in football, lacrosse, golf, and wrestling). All the times I cursed the traffic, or the officiating, or the fate of a bad bounce. The ups, the downs, the high, the lows, all the articles I wrote for the local newspapers on the town and school teams..

He's going to Ohio State in their Honors Program in Engineering and has decided he doesn't want to play anything in college. He just wants to get his work done and enjoy college and doesn't want the commitment required to play a sport. (He's been recruited by colleges for wresting for a year.)

That means this weekend's New England Wrestling Championships is it. And it didn't hit me until today. If he wins even one match, he will set his high school's record for most wins by a wrestler. He wasn't even born when the record was set. Win, lose, or draw, come Sunday, the bus stops here. Last stop, whether you want it or not.

:banned: :grad: :thanks: :sadbanana: :bow:
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A couple of thoughts:

First, Cats in the Cradle is an awesome song.

Second, this isn't the end, at least I hope not.  Sports are a lifetime's past time.  Sure, the "locker room" chapter might be closed, but he has a lifetime of recreational sports in front of him, be it with his friends, family, kids, whatever.  I'm 42 with bad knees, and I still play basketball when I can, play football in the back yard with the kids, etc.  I don't play as much as I would like, but still consider it part of my life.

I feel bad that you didn't enjoy all the hours you put into it for your child.  I coach my kids, but my coaching days with them is coming to an end.  My older son is an 8th grader.  This is my last week with him as his coach as our school basketball season is coming to an end.  He has a high school career in front of him, but it will only be with me as an observer.  I have one more year left with my 7th grader and I will savor it.

 
Bull Dozier said:
I feel bad that you didn't enjoy all the hours you put into it for your child.
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I enjoyed the experience immensely overall, but when you are actively engaged in the experience, there were times when you wonder what you got yourself into, the important meeting you missed at work, the annoying parents, etc. For example, I was the one designated with interacting with parents and having to explain to 35 kids and parents why their kid was not going to be the quarterback of the team and that their Little Johnny was unlikely to be the next Tom Brady. Or on several occasions when I had to tell kids and parents that their kid couldn't play because their child was over the weight limit and no, the scale WAS NOT broken. Or having to explain to parents that, by rule, the kid that was terrible had to play, even if he misses a block or a tackle. So yes, there were plenty of examples of having to take the bad with good.

 
Both my daughters played college volleyball so my sports watching and traveling all over the country was extended but it still ended the same.  I remember last year when my younger daughter was playing in her last game. As fate would have it she served out the last 3 points of her last game.  During that game all the memories were flooding back.  The hundreds of hours of car rides when she was younger to different states for tourneys, the great highs, the sad lows..the laughing, the #####ing and all of the friends we have met.

When the last game ended she came over to me and her mom and just said "Well..it is over"  I think we were ctually sadder than she was. After 12 years of non stop training she was ready for a break.  The last 14 years including my older daughter I was gone 3-4 weekends a month in the fall following them everywhere.  This fall I was worried about not knowing what to do with myself and then my younger daughter lands a HS teaching job. and they ask her to coach the volleyball  team..and there again I was out helping her and following the team she coaches every weekend.

The thing is now I enjoy watching the games so much better not being emotionally involved.  I can enjoy the games and sport for what it is but I really miss watching my kids compete. It seemed like such a long time when we were in the middle of it but over so fast.

 
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Time is a funny thing like that. When I was really little, my dad went about putting together a family tree for me; doing the legwork for his and my mom's sides for the families. Now with tools like Ancestry.com, I've been working lately to do the same for my son and it's truly remarkable to see how few people really are between you and other centuries too. Reading about the revolutionary war and whatnot and seeing it only being 4-6 generations back really tells you how much more collapsed time is than expectations too.

Like and unlike you, I'm on the front end of what I know will be a quick 10-12 year likely process for my son. It's a cool thought that he's reaching that age to play his first organized sports but also understanding how likely short of a window it'll be for all of us.

 
Anarchy99 said:
I enjoyed the experience immensely overall, but when you are actively engaged in the experience, there were times when you wonder what you got yourself into, the important meeting you missed at work, the annoying parents, etc. For example, I was the one designated with interacting with parents and having to explain to 35 kids and parents why their kid was not going to be the quarterback of the team and that their Little Johnny was unlikely to be the next Tom Brady. Or on several occasions when I had to tell kids and parents that their kid couldn't play because their child was over the weight limit and no, the scale WAS NOT broken. Or having to explain to parents that, by rule, the kid that was terrible had to play, even if he misses a block or a tackle. So yes, there were plenty of examples of having to take the bad with good.
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Yeah, I hear that.  I've been that person many times, and it definitely detracts from the experience.  I don't regret missing work though.

I've been looking back today at my time with my boys thanks to this thread.  I've had a pretty rough traveling season this year, but I haven't dwelled on that.  I have a lot of good memories I will cherish.

 
We stepped up to travel ball full time this year for my 10 year old.  I coach, she loves it, and I love it as that is the sport I played on and off for 30 years.

My only regret was giving up college ball to play on my own schedule.

I take advantage of all the time I can with her and just try to enjoy it. I know at best i have 7-11 years left :cry:

 
This takes me back 4 years to when we were heading up to Cooperstown for my son's 12U team's turn up there.  I'd never heard Days Go By before that trip, but it really resonated with me on the ride up, and even more so after the week was over:

Run to the light, It won't save you tonight
All our yesterdays are pictures lost in time
Never enough, Towers crumble to dust
Looking back on the moments of our lives

All your anger all your hurt Doesn't matter in the end
Those days go by And we all start again
What you had and what you lost They're all memories in the wind
Those days go by And we all start again

Stars still burn bright Seasons change overnight
As we find a way the times they come and go
Look back in love A new day rises above
With the wind it comes to carry you back home

All your anger all your hurt Doesn't matter in the end
Those days go by And we all start again
What you had and what you lost They're all memories in the wind
Those days go by And we all start again

 
One thing I find interesting is that some places the parents go to EVERYTHING (games, scrimmages, practices, clinics, etc.) to watch their kids play, and other communities parents barely go to anything.

For example, our younger son plays AAU basketball all year, and partents, grandparents, siblings, and other relatives all make the trek to tournaments (at least in our area). For big games or tournaments, there could be 50 people that go. We feel badly for the kids on some of the teams we play, as they might have 3 people watching them. Not everyone treats everything like it's the 7th game of the Word Series or the Super Bowl.

When I was a kid (70s and 80s), I played baseball and soccer and was on our town's first ever travel teams. I also was a youth and adult state bowling champion (and qualified for the Pro Bowling Tour). My mom went to a couple of my team games, my dad never watched anything, and neither one of them went to anything bowling related even one time. But that was the norm for the time and the area. Parents typically didn't go to much. They would drop you off and pick you up when you were done. That's just how it was.

Now there are soccer leagues for 2 and 3 year olds where time is called to change diapers (I kid you not) and everyone shows up and records stuff on their phones on posts it on-line before the games are even over. It's a different time and era.

 
Far awayAcross the fieldThe tolling of the iron bellCalls the faithful to their kneesTo hear the softly spoken magic spell

 
My parents and grandparents went to all my games 70/80s but not practices unless my dad was coaching

 
belljr said:
My parents and grandparents went to all my games 70/80s but not practices unless my dad was coaching
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I remember the first practice when I coached my kids' machine pitch baseball team (2nd & 3rd grade).  The bleachers were full of parents watching.  At first I was nervous, thinking these parents didn't trust me.  But shortly thereafter, I was thinking "if you're going to sit there for an hour and a half, you could at least get off your behind and run a station for me."

Parents watching practice is mystifying to me.  I can see watching the first one to make sure the coach has things under control, but going to every single one is a bad sign for that kid.

 
Enjoy your new found time and have fun. 

I don't know you but you are probably a lot more than just a good dad. Don't let that be all your life is about and not have a purpose/passion besides it.

 
Bull Dozier said:
I remember the first practice when I coached my kids' machine pitch baseball team (2nd & 3rd grade).  The bleachers were full of parents watching.  At first I was nervous, thinking these parents didn't trust me.  But shortly thereafter, I was thinking "if you're going to sit there for an hour and a half, you could at least get off your behind and run a station for me."

Parents watching practice is mystifying to me.  I can see watching the first one to make sure the coach has things under control, but going to every single one is a bad sign for that kid.
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LOL - yeah.  When I coached rec,  we had parents sitting there but many would offer to help.

Now up a level it's more defined.  We have our 4 coaches and some parents hang out and some leave and come back.  I understand 2nd and 3rd grade hanging around as they are still young but after that, there is no need assuming the coach has everyones contact info :)

i hangout for all my daughters field hockey games.  I like to get an idea what she is learning to try and help her later

 
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My eldest just turned 11 and I'm like, "WTH just happened to the time?"  I know I am going to cry like a little baby when she graduates, gets married, etc.  Same goes for the 7 y.o. daughter.  Jury's out on the 4 y.o. boy.

 
Great thread.  Congrats on everything.  Sounds like you did a great job as a Dad.   :thumbup:

I'm looking forward to the days when my son is doing all these things with his kid.  I think that's when life really does become sweet.

 
Anarchy99 said:
I agree that I am probably the last person around here to start a sappy, emotional real life thread. And as far as I am concerned, The Cat's In The Cradle is one of the cheesiest songs ever written. But it dawned on me today that our son, who has been playing just about every sport under the son since preschool, has one more event and then his sports days are done. And it went by like that. 

Hundreds of games, thousands of practices. I remember coaching him along the way . . . hating the rain, the cold, the mud, the travel, the time commitment, the turnovers, the dropped passes, the rivalries. Over the years, I recall all the sports that ultimately fell by the wayside (baseball, soccer, track and field, basketball, skiing) and the ones that stuck through high school (lettered in football, lacrosse, golf, and wrestling). All the times I cursed the traffic, or the officiating, or the fate of a bad bounce. The ups, the downs, the high, the lows, all the articles I wrote for the local newspapers on the town and school teams..

He's going to Ohio State in their Honors Program in Engineering and has decided he doesn't want to play anything in college. He just wants to get his work done and enjoy college and doesn't want the commitment required to play a sport. (He's been recruited by colleges for wresting for a year.)

That means this weekend's New England Wrestling Championships is it. And it didn't hit me until today. If he wins even one match, he will set his high school's record for most wins by a wrestler. He wasn't even born when the record was set. Win, lose, or draw, come Sunday, the bus stops here. Last stop, whether you want it or not.

:banned: :grad: :thanks: :sadbanana: :bow:
Click to expand...
This gave me serious chills.  Congrats on raising what sounds like one hell of a boy!

I'm just scratching the surface with this; my boys are 9 & 7 and are very passionate about soccer.  I've been coaching their last couple of rec teams and I both fear and look forward to the day we move on to travel teams and I can no longer coach.  It's been far beyond what I thought it was going to be.  I absolutely love it.

Is there really anything better than watching your kids be passionate and excel at a sport?

 
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