Wife asked me to pick up a pregnancy test... (1 Viewer)

[captain_amazing]

it sounds like you failed her test. expect less sexy time going forward.

I went into the marriage with this expectation - both of them, in fact.

 

[bostonfred]

it sounds like you failed her test. expect less sexy time going forward.

I went into the marriage with this expectation - both of them, in fact.

me too, assuming you mean expecting to fail her tests. Just keep setting that bar lower until you meet resistance, then do something heroic, and set it lower and lower.

 

[Fennis]

Congrats on the wife not being pregnant!

 

[trogg78]

My wife asks me to get them by the box. She will take one every couple of days just because she gets so excited to be pregnant. I saved one as gift for later.

 

[Mario Kart]

Why is captain_amazing taking his wife's pregnancy test?

 

[Papa Georgio]

Start hiding sperm

I have 4 kids, 1 was planned, 3 of them the moms were on pill

So either I have a great lawsuit, my various wives were lying to me or I have super sperm

 

[captain_amazing]

it sounds like you failed her test. expect less sexy time going forward.

at treating "Honey, pick me up a pregnancy test." the same as "Honey, pick me up some milk." I don't know what the test was, but you likely failed.

I think it's like buying her tampons. She expects you to know the ones she likes. "Can you pick me up a pregnancy test?"

"Yeah, what brand do you use? Need a case?"

This was the exact thought going through my head at the grocery store. I was dumbfounded at the selection, but grabbed the cheapest since they all advertised as being 99% accurate. Now with time to reflect, perhaps that wasn't the thing to cheap out on...

 

[glock]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

 

[captain_amazing]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

 

[jon_mx]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

Would be funny to read her post in the purse forum on this telling your reaction and laughing at you.

 

[msommer]

Start hiding sperm

I have 4 kids, 1 was planned, 3 of them the moms were on pill

So either I have a great lawsuit, my various wives were lying to me or I have super sperm

Bolded the answer for you.

You should have not hidden the sausage, but the money instead.

 

[captain_amazing]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

Would be funny to read her post in the purse forum on this telling your reaction and laughing at you.

I'm sure she was, as she's absolutely dying to have kids and knows that I'm terrified (right now, I do want kids, but in a few years).

 

[rockaction]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

Would be funny to read her post in the purse forum on this telling your reaction and laughing at you.

I'm sure she was, as she's absolutely dying to have kids and knows that I'm terrified (right now, I do want kids, but in a few years).

Thought this might be it. I would not store your condoms anywhere she has access to.

 

[Gr00vus]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

Would be funny to read her post in the purse forum on this telling your reaction and laughing at you.

I'm sure she was, as she's absolutely dying to have kids and knows that I'm terrified (right now, I do want kids, but in a few years).

Thought this might be it. I would not store your condoms anywhere she has access to.

Just keep your cell phone in your underpants all the time - problem solved.

On a side note, I think the probability of anything good following the statement "Don't freak out, but" is like .001267.

 

[captain_amazing]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

Would be funny to read her post in the purse forum on this telling your reaction and laughing at you.

I'm sure she was, as she's absolutely dying to have kids and knows that I'm terrified (right now, I do want kids, but in a few years).

Thought this might be it. I would not store your condoms anywhere she has access to.

We joke about the whole poking holes in them, but I think that's how this having-a-kid-thing is going to go down.

 

[captain_amazing]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

Would be funny to read her post in the purse forum on this telling your reaction and laughing at you.

I'm sure she was, as she's absolutely dying to have kids and knows that I'm terrified (right now, I do want kids, but in a few years).

Thought this might be it. I would not store your condoms anywhere she has access to.

Just keep your cell phone in your underpants all the time - problem solved.On a side note, I think the probability of anything good following the statement "Don't freak out, but" is like .001267.

That's why I did go nuts. She normally would've not have said something like that in passing u less there was a real chance. I do have an issue, though. I'm absolutely terrified at having kids right now. I imagine myself having kids and really want to be a dad. But I had issues with getting a cat (I lose a lite bit of freedom with having to feed him and changing his litter box and having someone watch him when we're away), so you can see how those thoughts would multiply with the thought of having a kid.

 

[rockaction]

Wow. Truth in jest and all that. Be careful. Have an ex-girlfriend who said some weirdly cryptic baby happy things to me in high school. We broke up when I went away to college, and sure enough, she got knocked up. Guy accused her of poking holes in her diaphragm. He was a scumbag, so nobody believed him except for me.

 

[Tom Servo]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

Would be funny to read her post in the purse forum on this telling your reaction and laughing at you.

I'm sure she was, as she's absolutely dying to have kids and knows that I'm terrified (right now, I do want kids, but in a few years).

Thought this might be it. I would not store your condoms anywhere she has access to.

We joke about the whole poking holes in them, but I think that's how this having-a-kid-thing is going to go down.

 

[Papa Georgio]

Start hiding sperm

I have 4 kids, 1 was planned, 3 of them the moms were on pill

So either I have a great lawsuit, my various wives were lying to me or I have super sperm

Bolded the answer for you.

You should have not hidden the sausage, but the money instead.

Yes I already knew the correct answer but me having super sperm is a better story.

 

[Van Dyman]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

yYou very well could be right. She was driving us to her step fathers for his birthday and mentioned it to me in passing. We had to stop at the store anyway and it was assumed I'd get out, so she said "Don't freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." I proceeded to freak out (in my own head).

Would be funny to read her post in the purse forum on this telling your reaction and laughing at you.

I'm sure she was, as she's absolutely dying to have kids and knows that I'm terrified (right now, I do want kids, but in a few years).

Thought this might be it. I would not store your condoms anywhere she has access to.

We joke about the whole poking holes in them, but I think that's how this having-a-kid-thing is going to go down.

Yikes.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Lol at the guys saying condoms and marriage is failure.

Ill be damned if I have a third kid. Im done. I don't want anymore. Wife was in the pill for a long time. Plenty of evidence its not great for health and she believes contributed to her sister getting cancer. Im not arguing with her. Sure, I can get snipped and will, but haven't yet

Condom >>>>> a third kid I don't want

I hope the third kid you are destined to have now doesn't see this.

listen, if it happened, I would hate this kid as much as I hate the two now.

 

[sbonomo]

Why didn't she just pick up a test on her own? Because she wanted to read your reactions.

I was thinking this as well...passive aggressive?