Wife uses sex as a weapon (1 Viewer)

[Sconch]

at Sconch in this thread.

It just sounds like a bunch of neo pop-psychology.

 

[Zegras11]

i bought athols book and downloaded it on my wifes laptop. She saw the confirmation email. I'm running an errand and my cell rings, its my wife. She says "whats this thing you bought something about married man sex?" and i say "yeah, saw that on one of my websites i go to, thought it was interesting so i bought it" She says, "are you cheating on me"? I say "honey, its the married man sex book, not the unmarried man sex book" and she's like "oh". I can see the wheels spinning in her brain. I've only read 1/4 of it so far, its pretty insightful so far. It will be interesting to see how my wife reacts over the next several weeks. We have a very good marriage, I guess i'm lucky in that regard. But one of the things that stands out to me about the message of the book is we have to be men, and somewhere over the course of 20 years and 4 kids i think you set aside "male" things you used to enjoy and that's not necessarily a good thing.

ditto here. I was so busy building two businesses, which of course, she liked the results of, but then you both lose focus with that and the kids.

The results have been immediate and it's 100x more fun now.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

at Sconch in this thread.

It just sounds like a bunch of neo pop-psychology.

What part? Being attracted to someone isn't some magical thing that just happens. There are reasons for that. Science supports some of these things. I know it kills the fairy tale love and romance tales society is in love with but the fact of the matter is there is a lot more science involved with our hearts than we realize/care to admit. This has been by far one of the more interesting threads in a long while.

 

[Sconch]

at Sconch in this thread.

It just sounds like a bunch of neo pop-psychology.

What part? Being attracted to someone isn't some magical thing that just happens. There are reasons for that. Science supports some of these things. I know it kills the fairy tale love and romance tales society is in love with but the fact of the matter is there is a lot more science involved with our hearts than we realize/care to admit. This has been by far one of the more interesting threads in a long while.

No. Some dude that has bored out his wife like a 57 Chevy comes up with some very simplistic panacea for other married men. Bookstore shelves are full of stuff like this.

 

[JFT Ben]

No. Some dude that has bored out his wife like a 57 Chevy comes up with some very simplistic panacea for other married men. Bookstore shelves are full of stuff like this.

You're right that the approach is not exactly rocket science, but he explains the "neo pop-psychology" ( behind it which is really the foundation for everything else in the book) and in the context of a committed relationship instead of the context of Strauss/Roissy "Game". And for what it's worth, the book is pretty frank and boils things down to a basic level instead of getting into a psych project. Some of his stuff is cheesy, but more often than not is useful. Sometimes all we need is a kick in the nuts, and this is the foot. Not fancy, not complicated, and maybe you don't need it, but I know I've recommended this blog and book to other men I know who needed to know the "why" and the "how" their relationship(s) are less than awesome so they could make changes. ETA: the fact that his wife is easy doesn't discount the merit of the message, as others here have already attested to.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

at Sconch in this thread.

It just sounds like a bunch of neo pop-psychology.

What part? Being attracted to someone isn't some magical thing that just happens. There are reasons for that. Science supports some of these things. I know it kills the fairy tale love and romance tales society is in love with but the fact of the matter is there is a lot more science involved with our hearts than we realize/care to admit. This has been by far one of the more interesting threads in a long while.

No. Some dude that has bored out his wife like a 57 Chevy comes up with some very simplistic panacea for other married men. Bookstore shelves are full of stuff like this.

Okay. So you believe what he writes is true? Your main beef is the fact it's been said before?

 

[Sconch]

at Sconch in this thread.

It just sounds like a bunch of neo pop-psychology.

What part? Being attracted to someone isn't some magical thing that just happens. There are reasons for that. Science supports some of these things. I know it kills the fairy tale love and romance tales society is in love with but the fact of the matter is there is a lot more science involved with our hearts than we realize/care to admit. This has been by far one of the more interesting threads in a long while.

No. Some dude that has bored out his wife like a 57 Chevy comes up with some very simplistic panacea for other married men. Bookstore shelves are full of stuff like this.

Okay. So you believe what he writes is true? Your main beef is the fact it's been said before?

Not at all. I haven't read very much of what he's written so I can't say if it is "true" or not. But from what little I have read he's taking a very complex issue (actually multiple complex issues) and trying to break them down into a couple of neat little categories. It smacks of pseudoscience to me.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Not at all. I haven't read very much of what he's written so I can't say if it is "true" or not. But from what little I have read he's taking a very complex issue (actually multiple complex issues) and trying to break them down into a couple of neat little categories. It smacks of pseudoscience to me.

I don't understand how you can call it pseudoscience when you admittedly haven't read much. I've read a bit of the book after fellow fbg's piqued my interest. It's quite interesting (though as was pointed out nothing revolutionary).Think of it this way - he's taking very complex theories and actual studies and puts it in very simple terms. Some is certainly just opinion. But there is plenty of science to these things as well. Scientists have studied all kinds of crap. Including attraction. Just because he 'dumbs it down' doesn't mean the source from which it comes is nonsense.

 

[tommyboy]

his book is more common sense than psuedo science. maybe you should read it first

 

[Sconch]

Not at all. I haven't read very much of what he's written so I can't say if it is "true" or not. But from what little I have read he's taking a very complex issue (actually multiple complex issues) and trying to break them down into a couple of neat little categories. It smacks of pseudoscience to me.

I don't understand how you can call it pseudoscience when you admittedly haven't read much. I've read a bit of the book after fellow fbg's piqued my interest. It's quite interesting (though as was pointed out nothing revolutionary).Think of it this way - he's taking very complex theories and actual studies and puts it in very simple terms. Some is certainly just opinion. But there is plenty of science to these things as well. Scientists have studied all kinds of crap. Including attraction. Just because he 'dumbs it down' doesn't mean the source from which it comes is nonsense.

More power to you guys then.

 

[Athol Kay]

Not at all. I haven't read very much of what he's written so I can't say if it is "true" or not. But from what little I have read he's taking a very complex issue (actually multiple complex issues) and trying to break them down into a couple of neat little categories. It smacks of pseudoscience to me.

You missed the part where most of the guys that read the book in this thread start getting laid like tile. Apart from that I agree, it's of little academic value.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Not at all. I haven't read very much of what he's written so I can't say if it is "true" or not. But from what little I have read he's taking a very complex issue (actually multiple complex issues) and trying to break them down into a couple of neat little categories. It smacks of pseudoscience to me.

You missed the part where most of the guys that read the book in this thread start getting laid like tile. Apart from that I agree, it's of little academic value.

So for those of us already getting laid like tile, there's really nothing for us? Just curious if I need to save my money.

 

[tommyboy]

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

 

[Thorn]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

 

[tommyboy]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

sconch is a chick, obviously.

probably Bogarts wife now that i think about it

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Maybe I'm a natural alpha, but I never understood "The Game" thread, as I never had a problem getting laid past the age of 17. Same holds during marriage. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a man (I do believe that many women attempt to feminize their husband during marriage), not a big fan of the "neg" advocated by The Game disciples. You should be able to get laid without demeaning a chick.

 

[Bogart]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

sconch is a chick, obviously.

probably Bogarts wife now that i think about it

That would make so much sense.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

sconch is a chick, obviously.

probably Bogarts wife now that i think about it

That would make so much sense.

The Jeopardy winnings would be nice, though.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Maybe I'm a natural alpha, but I never understood "The Game" thread, as I never had a problem getting laid past the age of 17. Same holds during marriage. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a man (I do believe that many women attempt to feminize their husband during marriage), not a big fan of the "neg" advocated by The Game disciples. You should be able to get laid without demeaning a chick.

I admittedly followed very little of "The Game" thread but how do you not understand it? You clearly have a style that works. But think of getting laid as a subject. Some people are better at math than others. Some people are gifted with languages. Some folk are more socially connected. If you're not naturally blessed in a subject you need to educate yourself if you're going to improve. Until Harvard offers a beetches 101 course people will have to rely on books.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Maybe I'm a natural alpha, but I never understood "The Game" thread, as I never had a problem getting laid past the age of 17. Same holds during marriage. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a man (I do believe that many women attempt to feminize their husband during marriage), not a big fan of the "neg" advocated by The Game disciples. You should be able to get laid without demeaning a chick.

I admittedly followed very little of "The Game" thread but how do you not understand it? You clearly have a style that works. But think of getting laid as a subject. Some people are better at math than others. Some people are gifted with languages. Some folk are more socially connected. If you're not naturally blessed in a subject you need to educate yourself if you're going to improve. Until Harvard offers a #####hes 101 course people will have to rely on books.

I "get" the basic concept. Dude isn't getting laid, dude wants to get laid, dude reads a book to try to get laid. Admittedly, since it was rather useless for me, I never ventured in there much, but I've always had an issue with the "neg".

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Gotcha. Yes, that isn't my style either. To summarize and paraphrase dozens of quotes, "Little people insult others." It's unbecoming of a person. It works though.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Gotcha. Yes, that isn't my style either. To summarize and paraphrase dozens of quotes, "Little people insult others." It's unbecoming of a person. It works though.

Right. And I'm all for people attempting to get their rocks off. But ethically, on the 'ways to get laid' scale it falls somewhere between roofies and lying and saying that you love her. And again, if this is your 'game' then I would suggest that you actually have none. You may get your wick wet, but you're an #######.

 

[Sconch]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Well your "I haven't read it but will go ahead and give my opinion of it" shtick is already taken by tim.

 

[Sconch]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Well your "I haven't read it but will go ahead and give my opinion of it" shtick is already taken by tim.

Got to Amazon.com. Search in books "men" "self help" "marriage" "sex" etc etc. Tell me how many results you get. What makes this guy's ideas better than the rest?

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Well your "I haven't read it but will go ahead and give my opinion of it" shtick is already taken by tim.

Got to Amazon.com. Search in books "men" "self help" "marriage" "sex" etc etc. Tell me how many results you get. What makes this guy's ideas better than the rest?

PEOPLE ARE GETTING LAID LIKE TILE.

 

[Sconch]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Well your "I haven't read it but will go ahead and give my opinion of it" shtick is already taken by tim.

Got to Amazon.com. Search in books "men" "self help" "marriage" "sex" etc etc. Tell me how many results you get. What makes this guy's ideas better than the rest?

PEOPLE ARE GETTING LAID LIKE TILE.

I sit corrected.

 

[Thorn]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Well your "I haven't read it but will go ahead and give my opinion of it" shtick is already taken by tim.

Got to Amazon.com. Search in books "men" "self help" "marriage" "sex" etc etc. Tell me how many results you get. What makes this guy's ideas better than the rest?

The question isn't whether they're better. The question is do they work, or maybe more specifically do they work for you. Guys are reporting back that they work. That's good enough for me.I also actually read some of the example chapters on the site. They made sense.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Well your "I haven't read it but will go ahead and give my opinion of it" shtick is already taken by tim.

Got to Amazon.com. Search in books "men" "self help" "marriage" "sex" etc etc. Tell me how many results you get. What makes this guy's ideas better than the rest?

Sweet Jesus talk about your straw men. Who in here is stating it is revolutionary? A few people have said it's NOT anything new. But it's the kick in the pants they needed.First I asked if you agreed with what he wrote but just had a problem with it not being new. Then you said you hadn't actually read it but it sounded like nonsense. Now you're back to arguing it's not anything revolutionary. It honestly sounds like you've made your mind up before coming into this thread and are not willing to be swayed no matter what. In that case rock on.

 

[Sconch]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Well your "I haven't read it but will go ahead and give my opinion of it" shtick is already taken by tim.

Got to Amazon.com. Search in books "men" "self help" "marriage" "sex" etc etc. Tell me how many results you get. What makes this guy's ideas better than the rest?

Sweet Jesus talk about your straw men. Who in here is stating it is revolutionary? A few people have said it's NOT anything new. But it's the kick in the pants they needed.

Yeah we're done here. Pretty sure either missed my point or I haven't been clear enough.

 

[BigJim®]

I mean...you had no idea there was such thing as alpha and beta. Either that or you're doing some fishing in a thread that doesn't need it.

He was the same way in the thread about The Game. For whatever reason his panties get bunched when guys try to take an active role in getting laid. I don't get it.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Well your "I haven't read it but will go ahead and give my opinion of it" shtick is already taken by tim.

Got to Amazon.com. Search in books "men" "self help" "marriage" "sex" etc etc. Tell me how many results you get. What makes this guy's ideas better than the rest?

I'm actually more interested in searching "How to disengage a message board troll" books at this point. Your contribution to this interesting thread is low, and surprisingly sinking.

 

[tommyboy]

 

[Dexter Manley]

Maybe I'm a natural alpha, but I never understood "The Game" thread, as I never had a problem getting laid past the age of 17. Same holds during marriage. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a man (I do believe that many women attempt to feminize their husband during marriage), not a big fan of the "neg" advocated by The Game disciples. You should be able to get laid without demeaning a chick.

I admittedly followed very little of "The Game" thread but how do you not understand it? You clearly have a style that works. But think of getting laid as a subject. Some people are better at math than others. Some people are gifted with languages. Some folk are more socially connected. If you're not naturally blessed in a subject you need to educate yourself if you're going to improve. Until Harvard offers a #####hes 101 course people will have to rely on books.

I "get" the basic concept. Dude isn't getting laid, dude wants to get laid, dude reads a book to try to get laid. Admittedly, since it was rather useless for me, I never ventured in there much, but I've always had an issue with the "neg".

I'm not a neg fan by any means, but I think it's probably the most misunderstood concept in the book. IIRC, you're only supposed to use negs on 9's/10's or girls who think and act like they're 9's/10's. IRL, the former group is less than 1% of the female population. And remember it isn't supposed to be mean-spririted. It's simply a back-handed compliment or ball busting said in a playful manner. If your comment to a girl is actually demeaning, then it's not a neg.I've personally (like every other FBG I assume) have had girls neg me, and since reading the book I recognize when it's happening immediately, and I've got no issues with any girl doing it.Personally, I think it's completely ethical (although not my style), when done appropriately (i.e. not actually demeaning).

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Yeah we're done here.

Thank goodness. I'm sure it's just everybody else who is missing your point. We're all the common denominator. Now, back to bogart trying to save his trainwreck of a marriage. I'm pulling for you even if you are a Rangers fan.

 

[Lutherman2112]

Not at all. I haven't read very much of what he's written so I can't say if it is "true" or not. But from what little I have read he's taking a very complex issue (actually multiple complex issues) and trying to break them down into a couple of neat little categories. It smacks of pseudoscience to me.

You missed the part where most of the guys that read the book in this thread start getting laid like tile. Apart from that I agree, it's of little academic value.

This is what helped me: your book offered me practical advice. I've read a few academic books before we entered counseling, like The Decline of Males (written by a cultural anthropologist) and The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex And Other Bedroom Battles (written by a clinical psychologist that is also a sex therapist). Both books clearly stated that my lack of satisfying sex life in my marriage was something common to relationships in the past two decades. Great! My situation is not that different from others! Neither author suggested how I go about making my situation any better (the second book linked above is written with couples in mind, but my wife never opened the book).tommyboy nailed the description just a few posts ago.

 

[Athol Kay]

This is what helped me: your book offered me practical advice. I've read a few academic books before we entered counseling, like The Decline of Males (written by a cultural anthropologist) and The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex And Other Bedroom Battles (written by a clinical psychologist that is also a sex therapist). Both books clearly stated that my lack of satisfying sex life in my marriage was something common to relationships in the past two decades. Great! My situation is not that different from others! Neither author suggested how I go about making my situation any better (the second book linked above is written with couples in mind, but my wife never opened the book).

If the book was a book about coaching football...Part 1

Alpha stuff = explaining basic offense

Beta stuff = explaining basic defense

Part 2

I cover basic conditioning, training drills and explain each postion on the team.

Part 3

Teach an easy but functional play book you can use right out of the gate.

Part 4

Talk about how to coach a team without turning it into a fiasco by doing something stupid.

Except it's not a book about coaching football, but about getting laid and having a functional, productive marriage. Doesn't work for everyone like a magic bullet, but seems to do the trick for most. You'll spend more on gas driving to marriage counseling than the book costs.

 

[Clifford]

All this alpha/beta crap is getting pretty tiresome. Were not wolves.

I'm sure the books are great and all...let's just turn down the crazy a bit

 

[Chaka]

All this alpha/beta crap is getting pretty tiresome. Were not wolves. I'm sure the books are great and all...let's just turn down the crazy a bit

We're much closer to wolves than most of prefer to think.

 

[Frostillicus]

at Sconch in this thread.

It just sounds like a bunch of neo pop-psychology.

So's your face.

 

[Dr. Gobbler]

I was going to write a book about this subject but everything you need to know can be explained in one sentence. 'Once a month, smack your wife in the face with it.'

 

[tommyboy]

so yesterday wife sees the book receipt. today she puts on a bit more makeup and wears a lower cut shirt then asks me out on a date saturday and tells me tomorrow night is sex night... hell i haven't read half the book yet, and haven't consciously implemented anything at all. but i'm sure athol doesn't know #### about the subject.

 

[Texas Football]

so yesterday wife sees the book receipt. today she puts on a bit more makeup and wears a lower cut shirt then asks me out on a date saturday and tells me tomorrow night is sex night... hell i haven't read half the book yet, and haven't consciously implemented anything at all. but i'm sure athol doesn't know #### about the subject.

This seems creepy. :beacontonoteboocksquads:

 

[Idiot Boxer]

so yesterday wife sees the book receipt. today she puts on a bit more makeup and wears a lower cut shirt then asks me out on a date saturday and tells me tomorrow night is sex night... hell i haven't read half the book yet, and haven't consciously implemented anything at all. but i'm sure athol doesn't know #### about the subject.

This is hardly an argument for the efficacy of the advice in the book.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I hate it when IB makes me look up the definitions to words.

 

[culdeus]

This alpha/beta crap has to stop. It's getting Hucksian.

 

[Third]

"What are you doing...trying to show me you can get someone better?"

A direct quote from my wife last night. And then later . . .

. . . laid like tile.TM

 

[bmetz]

"What are you doing...trying to show me you can get someone better?"

A direct quote from my wife last night. And then later . . .

. . . laid like tile.TM

 

[Dr. Awesome]

This alpha/beta crap has to stop. It's getting Hucksian.

How so?

 

[[icon]]

Not at all. I haven't read very much of what he's written so I can't say if it is "true" or not. But from what little I have read he's taking a very complex issue (actually multiple complex issues) and trying to break them down into a couple of neat little categories. It smacks of pseudoscience to me.

You missed the part where most of the guys that read the book in this thread start getting laid like tile. Apart from that I agree, it's of little academic value.

Wait. The author of this book showed up here?! AWESOME. :Augmentlauren: