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Wildest One Night Stand (1 Viewer)

Baloney Sandwich

Baloney Sandwich

Footballguy
Most of us are married and well past our prime but think back to when you were younger, single and had some semblance of game. What have you got in terms of your wildest one night stand? 

I have two of them that stand out and it is tough to pick between them but I will go with one mid-December night back in the late 90s when I was living in the Nob Hill area of San Francisco. I was at a bar down the street from my apartment where some company was having their holiday party. I was pretty wasted and got to talking to an attractive black woman. Next thing I know we are up in my apartment on my bed making out. My hand drifts down to her thigh and I feel something weird. I get a strange look on my face and she looks at me with these sad, fearful but hopeful eyes and reveals that she has a fake leg. I assure her it is no big deal and soon enough she snaps that thing off and puts it on the ground. It was actually fairly liberating as we were able to move around and find positions you couldn't do if with a two-legged woman.

The next morning I'm awoken by the sounds of snap, snap, snap. Around the third snap it dawns on my that Peg from last night must be getting ready to leave. I play off that I'm still mostly asleep and she gets up, writes something down and gives me a kiss on the cheek. As she is leaving she tells me "My name is Fiona and I left my name and number on your desk and the F stands for Fabulous". She then did a spin around that would have been impressive even if she had two legs and walked out. I almost felt bad tossing her number away right after my front door slammed shut.

 
its all fun and games until someone loses a leg and that is why my parents never let me get a pellet gun brohans and they were right take that to the bank bromigos 

 
Same thing happened to a buddy of mine after a trip "Up North" to the cabin... Only she had two legs then... When we were up there a year or so later and saw her again, she had one leg.. My buddy looks at me and says straight faced, "I must have ####ed the leg off her"..  

 
About 12 years ago I was traveling for business and there happened to be a Little People convention in town, and many of them were staying at my hotel.

:lmao:  can't do it, sorry

 
Posed nude a few times for art classes when I was an undergrad.  The money seemed righteous at the time. Got invited back to the dorms not infrequently by students who needed to finish up their sketches.  One time while posing in the dorm (Lovejoy Hall it was called, officially, after some old dude) the girl's room mate came home.  She had a bit of a start and then asked Aleta, the art student, how she could sketch 'it" when it appeared to be moving.  Aleta said she was just about to take care of that.  The roommate, Kelly, left and Aleta did indeed take care of that.

Walking back to my dorm I stopped at the student union.  There was Kelly.  She asked if I knew Aleta was only 15.  I was shocked.  She was a college freshman living in the dorms and all physical indications were that she was every bit of 18 or so.  Kelly laughed and said we must not have done a lot of get to know you type talking, which indeed we had not.  We had a couple of beers and she suggested that perhaps we could go a round or two without the preliminary of sketching first since she was no art student.  I tried to calculate whether that would hurt my future with the 15 year old, if indeed that information was true, decided that it might be true, and cast my lot with Kelly. 

Turned out Aleta was 15.  Turned out Kelly was not looking for a steady thing, mostly looking to freak out her room mate.  I was fine with being used.  There was no repeat with Aleta as her age worried me though I was not a whole three years older than she.  There was a repeat with Kelly, but once only.  She liked being pinned to the wall or to a counter top.  She liked the dirty talk.  She liked to have me watch for a bit before getting after it. 

The RA from that dorm got in severe trouble shortly thereafter.  Seems there was some deal to allow Aleta in the dorm at her age which was suppose to include enhanced supervision.  She was an emancipated minor, but unusually young and the University had concerns about her age.  Seems the R.A. did not provide the appropriate level of supervision as the wild child was caught with male company, alcohol, and weed in her room.  The male, a guy I knew by name only was removed from the school.  Aleta was removed from the dorms to off campus housing.  We remained friends for a time.

 
Oh, yeah. Wait. There was this one. This was the best. Ginger. Listen. We started dancing, right? Slow dancing, like we're stuck to each other. Eventually it's obvious to me that she wants to do more than dance. Right? So we left the place. On the way to the car, she's already got her tongue in my ear. We get to the car. She says we can't go to her place 'cause of her roommate, right? But she says, ''Hey, that's no problem.'' She's got seats in the car that recline back. All the way back. - If you know what I'm saying. - All the way? Would I #### you? Right? She rips my shirt open. She's clawing my chest. She's biting my neck, and I'm trying to get over the stick shift... 'cause we're goin' like a freight train now. All of a sudden, she starts screaming at the top of her lungs... ''Oh, God! Oh, God! Don't stop! Make Ginger pop!''

 
Psych class.  Prof was making some point about human sexuality.  He wanted to know how many names males had for their genitalia and the same for females and theirs.  We wrote down what we could think of on slips and submitted them.  Males had way more names for theirs than did the females. Males also had more names for female genitalia than did the females. Regardless.  As he was putting the combined lists on the board he put up "Breakfast" on the female list. I said out loud I would like to meet her.  After class a nice looking spinner came up to me and asked me whether I had had breakfast that day.  I had not.  We had breakfast lunch and dinner that day.  Actually I think we had brunch as well, and some nice hors d'oeurves too.  She was a bit of a hors.

 
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Baloney Sandwich said:
Most of us are married and well past our prime but think back to when you were younger, single and had some semblance of game. What have you got in terms of your wildest one night stand? 

I have two of them that stand out and it is tough to pick between them but I will go with one mid-December night back in the late 90s when I was living in the Nob Hill area of San Francisco. I was at a bar down the street from my apartment where some company was having their holiday party. I was pretty wasted and got to talking to an attractive black woman. Next thing I know we are up in my apartment on my bed making out. My hand drifts down to her thigh and I feel something weird. I get a strange look on my face and she looks at me with these sad, fearful but hopeful eyes and reveals that she has a fake leg. I assure her it is no big deal and soon enough she snaps that thing off and puts it on the ground. It was actually fairly liberating as we were able to move around and find positions you couldn't do if with a two-legged woman.
Click to expand...
Didn't know they made a movie about your life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHFp8s_R1LU

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Psych class.  Prof was making some point about human sexuality.  he wanted to know how many names males had for their genitalia and the same for females.  We wrote down what we could think of on slips and submitted them.  males had way more names for theirs than did the females. Regardless.  as he was putting the combined lists on the board he put up "Breakfast" on the female list. I said out loud I would like to meet her.  after class a nice looking spinner came up to me and asked me whether I had had breakfast that day.  I had not.  we had breakfast lunch and dinner that day.
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She had friends who named theirs "Lunch" and "Dinner"?  Nice!

 
I will share one more story, also from San Francisco but this was early 2001. I was working for a large IT consulting firm and we had hit on hard times as the IT consulting market had come to a crashing halt. There had already been one set of layoffs and we knew several more large cuts were coming, there was only a handful of us in the office that day and we all went to lunch. It was myself, a staffing manager, a finance manager, a consultant and our 22 year old admin/receptionist. We all had a few drinks at lunch and laughed about our upcoming doom within the company. We get back to the office and I had a cube at one end of the office while there others were all the way on the other end. I liked being away from everyone so that I could crank music all day while I worked. As I'm back at my desk the 22 year old admin walks over and sits on my desk. She looks at me and says "Well, I'm not going to make the first move" so I stand up and we start making out. Next thing I know I'm in my chair and she is blowing me. I start getting freaked out that someone might come over and catch us so we go into the server room and shut the door. It is noisy and hot in there but we get down to business. I remember heading home shortly thereafter and pulling several large bong hits pondering how it would be seeing her the next day in the office. It definitely wasn't a great move having a one night (or day in this case) stand with someone you work with but thankfully she was laid off a few weeks later.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
I will share one more story, also from San Francisco but this was early 2001. I was working for a large IT consulting firm and we had hit on hard times as the IT consulting market had come to a crashing halt. There had already been one set of layoffs and we knew several more large cuts were coming, there was only a handful of us in the office that day and we all went to lunch. It was myself, a staffing manager, a finance manager, a consultant and our 22 year old admin/receptionist. We all had a few drinks at lunch and laughed about our upcoming doom within the company. We get back to the office and I had a cube at one end of the office while there others were all the way on the other end. I liked being away from everyone so that I could crank music all day while I worked. As I'm back at my desk the 22 year old admin walks over and sits on my desk. She looks at me and says "Well, I'm not going to make the first move" so I stand up and we start making out. Next thing I know I'm in my chair and she is blowing me. I start getting freaked out that someone might come over and catch us so we go into the server room and shut the door. It is noisy and hot in there but we get down to business. I remember heading home shortly thereafter and pulling several large bong hits pondering how it would be seeing her the next day in the office. It definitely wasn't a great move having a one night (or day in this case) stand with someone you work with but thankfully she was laid off a few weeks later.
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What a horny little slut. 

 
About 10 years ago.   Was visiting a buddy in Texas for the weekend...was staying at his house with his wife and then 6 yr old daughter.   Went out with him for drinks at a bar near his place, and started chatting up a hot little young lass.   Yadda, yadda, yadda I end up leaving with her (in her car) to her house about a 30 min. drive away.

We walk into her house and it has about 25 damn cats running around. She had one of those cat houses covered in thick rope on the TOP of her kitchen countertop peninsula!  I sit down on her couch and instantly have cat hair all over my pants. It was absolutely disgusting. And because I basically had no idea where I was or any transportation to get the hell out of there (this was pre-Uber), and very drunk, I figured I might as well make the best of it.    Getting out of that gross living room and into her bedroom was even more of a goal than it was before.    I quickly pushed things to that area and we ended up putting on a decent show for the random cats that would jump in and out of her bed!

About 5am I come to my senses and realize I need to figure out how the hell I'm going to get out of there and back to my buddy's house.  I search for a cab company on my phone and wake her up to find out her address to tell the cab for pickup. She proceeds to tell me the address along with the tidbit that her ex boyfriend who she just kicked out last week was going to be coming by "sometime early this morning" to pickup a bag of his remaining clothes there (she points to the bag on her bedroom floor).  Oh, and he'll be on his Harley cycle.    Super.

Luckily the cab came before the boyfriend showed and I get back to my buddy's house about 6:30am.  I walk in the garage door leading to the kitchen where my buddy's wife is sitting there drinking coffee and feeding their young daughter breakfast.  She just gives me that look...half shaking her head in disgust, half with a smirk and internally saying to herself "not surprised".    I just kind of shrug, say "good morning" meekly and fall face first into the bed that I was staying at and pass out.

 
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whiskey7 said:
Oh, yeah. Wait. There was this one. This was the best. Ginger. Listen. We started dancing, right? Slow dancing, like we're stuck to each other. Eventually it's obvious to me that she wants to do more than dance. Right? So we left the place. On the way to the car, she's already got her tongue in my ear. We get to the car. She says we can't go to her place 'cause of her roommate, right? But she says, ''Hey, that's no problem.'' She's got seats in the car that recline back. All the way back. - If you know what I'm saying. - All the way? Would I #### you? Right? She rips my shirt open. She's clawing my chest. She's biting my neck, and I'm trying to get over the stick shift... 'cause we're goin' like a freight train now. All of a sudden, she starts screaming at the top of her lungs... ''Oh, God! Oh, God! Don't stop! Make Ginger pop!''
Click to expand...
Ah ####.. really? 

 
My 18th birthday I was in Cancun for Spring Break, sharing a room with a buddy who baked the room out with another friend. I was out of the room and had just gotten back 30 seconds ago when security knocked on the door - The 3 of us were instantly booted from the hotel. With luggage in hand, we hopped on a bus in front of the hotel with no destination in sight. Amazingly, some chicks from our town were on the bus, and after an explanation said we could stay in their room... I gave them ecstasy as a reward. Anyways, we hung with them and then headed out. After a few stops, we wound up at La Boom. I ended up meeting two chicks from Chicago, I offered them ecstasy as well. The 3 of us left and headed to the beach. We all get naked and leave our stuff near some bushes and head to the water. It was on at that point at the edge of the water, one box in my face and some face in my crouch. Banged like rockstars for a long time. 

When the session was over, we walked back to where we took our clothes off and they were all gone, all that was left were my boxers. The beach we hit was in front of their hotel, so they grabbed some towels from the pool area, covered up, and we went back to their room. Went at it again and crashed. Woke up a few hours later, more ecstasy, more sex, and headed back to the hotel I was kicked out of. With some underwear on and nothing else, I popped back into our pool area and met back up with a bunch of peeps, two chicks in bikinis on my arms. The sex was over at that point and the girls took off a little while later. They gave me their numbers, which I lost almost immediately - to this day I still regret it as I would've def taken a trip to Chicago for more of that. 

Good times. 

 
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fantasycurse42 said:
My 18th birthday I was in Cancun for Spring Break, sharing a room with a buddy who baked the room out with another friend. I was out of the room and had just gotten back 30 seconds ago when security knocked on the door - The 3 of us were instantly booted from the hotel. With luggage in hand, we hopped on a bus in front of the hotel with no destination in sight. Amazingly, some chicks from our town were on the bus, and after an explanation said we could stay in their room... I gave them ecstasy as a reward. Anyways, we hung with them and then headed out. After a few stops, we wound up at La Boom. I ended up meeting two chicks from Chicago, I offered them ecstasy as well. The 3 of us left and headed to the beach. We all get naked and leave our stuff near some bushes and head to the water. It was on at that point at the edge of the water, one box in my face and some face in my crouch. Banged like rockstars for a long time. 

When the session was over, we walked back to where we took our clothes off and they were all gone, all that was left were my boxers. The beach we hit was in front of their hotel, so they grabbed some towels from the pool area, covered up, and we went back to their room. Went at it again and crashed. Woke up a few hours later, more ecstasy, more sex, and headed back to the hotel I was kicked out of. With some underwear on and nothing else, I popped back into our pool area and met back up with a bunch of peeps, two chicks in bikinis on my arms. The sex was over at that point and the girls took off a little while later. They gave me their numbers, which I lost almost immediately - to this day I still regret it as I would've def taken a trip to Chicago for more of that. 

Good times. 
Click to expand...
Ecstasy is the best

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Psych class.  Prof was making some point about human sexuality.  He wanted to know how many names males had for their genitalia and the same for females and theirs.  We wrote down what we could think of on slips and submitted them.  Males had way more names for theirs than did the females. males also ha more names for female genitalia than did the females. Regardless.  As he was putting the combined lists on the board he put up "Breakfast" on the female list. I said out loud I would like to meet her.  After class a nice looking spinner came up to me and asked me whether I had had breakfast that day.  I had not.  We had breakfast lunch and dinner that day.  Actually I think we had brunch as well, and some nice hors d'oeurves too.  She was a bit of a hors.
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Where'd you go to college again? These certainly aren't Hamline stories. 

 
By the way I really got nothing to compare to these stories. Thanks for the momentary depression. 

 
playin4beer said:
All of these stories are just a "Tuesday" for AZ Ron...
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My favorite of all of his stories is still when his wife choked Angie by forcing feeding her Ron's #### and Angie had a tear running down her cheek. Something so sweet and romantic about it.

 
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Best? Hammering a 38 yr old divorcee at age 23. She just about broke it.

Most memorable? Nailed a Disney ice dancer who attacked me on New year's Eve. That was like a 4 hr session.

Worst best, nailing two at once. One was hot, other not. Memorable but anti climactic

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Psych class.  Prof was making some point about human sexuality.  He wanted to know how many names males had for their genitalia and the same for females and theirs.  We wrote down what we could think of on slips and submitted them.  Males had way more names for theirs than did the females. Males also had more names for female genitalia than did the females. Regardless.  As he was putting the combined lists on the board he put up "Breakfast" on the female list. I said out loud I would like to meet her.  After class a nice looking spinner came up to me and asked me whether I had had breakfast that day.  I had not.  We had breakfast lunch and dinner that day.  Actually I think we had brunch as well, and some nice hors d'oeurves too.  She was a bit of a hors.
Click to expand...
That's a lot of cream chipped beef. 

 
tommyboy said:
Worst best, nailing two at once. One was hot, other not. Memorable but anti climactic
Click to expand...
Give all the attention to the ugly chick...it will make the hot one jealous.  Double and triple down by blowing it in the ugo, getting her pregnant and marrying her.  10 years later, you can't stand your life anymore and you divorce with 3 kids.

You find yourself now in the arms of the hot chick for comfort, as you have always maintained a friendship.  She let's you know she thought you were the one but showed no attention during that fateful night.

She makes a move, you reciprocate, and you hug for hours.  You finally make love and everything feels right...it feels safe.  Then she tells you shes been whoring to make ends meet.  You get AIDS and die.  Couldn't have been happier.

 
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