Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (2 Viewers)

[cstu]

NRJ, when was the last coffee date you went on?

 

[Weebs210]

My wife is almost 50 and won't respond to my calls but will reply to to any text of mine withing .8 seconds

She's cheating on you.

 

[Timmay]

She sounds like a closet freak with the tattoos and white blouse while knowing damn well its going to rain (since it rains every day). Sounds like you have a winner. You know what they say, A lady in the streets, but a freak in the streets. 

 

[worrierking]

Colonel, have you stalked her on facebook yet?  There's a bazillion important things you can learn from her likes and her posts.  Let me know if you need somebody to do a little investigating.  I have friends up there (Monroe, right?). 

 

[jwb]

You're acting like a neighborhood mom, not a potential love interest.

Leave the Colonel alone.  The active/involved dad vibe he gives is working in his favor from the love interest standpoint.  But he does need to make a move sooner than later.

He's making moves.

The kids and being neighbors changes everything. These is no other speed but slow and steady.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Disagree completely, but point taken. 

So you strenuously object?

 

[Coeur de Lion]

He's making moves.

The kids and being neighbors changes everything. These is no other speed but slow and steady.

NRJ is playing this perfectly. Being friends is more important in this specific situation than getting some tail right away. If suggesting coffee instead of lunch means she's playing it cautiously, so much the better. If she were DTF after one informal get together than that would be a sure recipe for one great night and then years of potential awkward / clingy / crazy down the road.

 

[Tom Servo]

tl;dr: eh, #### it, if you're still onboard at this point, you're going to read the whole thing, let's be honest

Who's awesome?

 

[DA RAIDERS]

man, that's quick!  bbq, tramp  line, toys-r-us, games at her house and now a coffee date.  in what?  the span of less than 3 days?  there's going to be a huge drop off in activity, unless you move in together.

i would have pulled the ripcord at the toys-r-us juncture.  ####### hate that place, and it's hard to get out of there without coming across as a #### or a push over to your kids.  cause you know she's watching every move of how you're treating your kids.  you could have thrown out, i'll run home and make us all something to eat and something for us to drink.  she does drink, doesn't she?

i will say this, holy crap am I glad i'm not in the dating scene!  good on ya colonel!!  

and sadly, i'll be in NO this weekend, not upstate.

 

[Tom Servo]

new sitcom on CBS?

Gotta be better than Two Broke Girls.

 

[shader]

When you order your coffee drink, make sure and say "This is Drew Brees' favorite!"

 

[[icon]]

she really likes pants in that 90 degree weather

what if she doesn't shave.. is that a deal breaker?

Probably just a severe cease of Eczema. no big deal. 

 

[cstu]

NRJ is playing this perfectly. Being friends is more important in this specific situation than getting some tail right away. If suggesting coffee instead of lunch means she's playing it cautiously, so much the better. If she were DTF after one informal get together than that would be a sure recipe for one great night and then years of potential awkward / clingy / crazy down the road.

I'm not talking about getting tail right away, I'm talking not getting friend-zoned.  He's dangerously close to being seen as a great neighbor she's afraid of losing by getting involved romantically and it not working out. 

 

[northern exposure]

When you order your coffee drink, make sure and say "This is Drew Brees' favorite!"

I would pay good money to see NRJ order his coffee date drink like this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rBNOB7FkSSM

 

[Peyton Marino]

yikes.  is this how all relationships progress in your thirties?  maybe I should just get married now.

 

[Spike]

I agreed also, but went back and look at her response on that, and I do believe it was just a time availability issue. And conversation has been good since then. No awkwardness at all. I think we're still good. And I really couldn't care less if it's lunch or coffee, as long as we get to talk. 

Don't let people talk you into over analyzing everything.  It makes for good shtick but not so good for you.

 

[Coeur de Lion]

I'm not talking about getting tail right away, I'm talking not getting friend-zoned.  He's dangerously close to being seen as a great neighbor she's afraid of losing by getting involved romantically and it not working out. 

Eh, "friend zone" is what happens if there is no interest in the first place, not what happens if you don't move quickly enough. Of course my instincts aren't all that sharp probably after being married and out of the game for 20 years, but "friend zone" is just an excuse for "not attracted to you" based on what I remember.

 

[cstu]

Like a good neighbor, NRJ is there...

 

[[icon]]

I'm not talking about getting tail right away, I'm talking not getting friend-zoned.  He's dangerously close to being seen as a great neighbor she's afraid of losing by getting involved romantically and it not working out. 

All ball busting aside, I think he's made enough clear signals here that he's in the clear for now. Not to say he may not get friend zoned too if our heroine starts to get a little second-guessy about getting wrong holed by the neighbor. But I'm not sure it'll be because he played "gabby good guy" too much. 

At coffee make it clear it's a date. Open the door for her at the very least. Do the ol' hand in the small of her back as she walks past you, through the door. Pulling out a chair is likely excessive for starbucks, but she needs to see #### like that.

IMO if you don't at least get a real hug (not a "thanks for the nickle grandma" side hug) at the end of this, she's going to think you're a #####. You probably don't want to try to suck face in the local dunkin' parking lot... but if a decent kiss isn't something you feel comfortable pulling off, then at least the hug. 

The "oo our knees brushed" #### is fine around the kids but you're going on a date, now. Time to man up a bit.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Are you past your reluctance to say what she does?  You mentioned she works for herself--doing what?

I was all in for you prior to the tats disclosure.  Not necessarily a dealbreaker but they show questionable judgment IMO. She is in her early 40s?

I'd rather not. It's not relevant to this tale. 

I used to be the same on tats. Now I don't really care one way or the other.  Yes, she's early 40s. I plan on asking her about the tats, just to hear the story associated with them. 

 

[arrow1]

Don't let people talk you into over analyzing everything.  It makes for good shtick but not so good for you.

 This.  You're playing this perfectly, imo.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

NRJ, when was the last coffee date you went on?

Been on a few in the last few years, actually. Have you been to a coffee place in recent years? Good conversation places. Not good romance places, but good conversation places. And coffee, so.....

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Colonel, have you stalked her on facebook yet?  There's a bazillion important things you can learn from her likes and her posts.  Let me know if you need somebody to do a little investigating.  I have friends up there (Monroe, right?). 

Don't believe she's on Facebook. Unless it's under a different name  

 

[pandora]

id show up at the coffee shop in super tight jorts with a collard shirt tucked in. The jorts will enhance your bulge

check your wardrobe for this setup

I have heard of collard greens but not a collard shirt.

 

[ChiefD]

Gotta start thinking ahead a little bit here. If she were to ever see this thread you are one sunk #####. You would be the Pariah of the PTA©, the creep of the neighborhood, the loser dad of all the loser dads.

So you need to think about how you use your electronics:

1. Do you have a laptop or desktop?

2. Do you have this site safely bookmarked as something benign, like Auto Parts Store?

3. Do you habitually leave your phone laying open on a table? Next to your bed? On the counter?

4. Do you ever leave screens open on your computers for people to see? 

5. Do you have a shutdown process every time, and I mean EVERY TIME, you walk away from a device?

You've come a long way. We do not need you to trip up on a rookie mistake.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I'd rather not. It's not relevant to this tale. 

I used to be the same on tats. Now I don't really care one way or the other.  Yes, she's early 40s. I plan on asking her about the tats, just to hear the story associated with them. 

tat says harmony/ or some such crap in some asianed language

 

[EYLive]

I'd rather not. It's not relevant to this tale. 

I used to be the same on tats. Now I don't really care one way or the other.  Yes, she's early 40s. I plan on asking her about the tats, just to hear the story associated with them. 

Can we just say she's a yoga instructor? She's been teaching for 8 years    in my mind.

 

[Funkley]

Been on a few in the last few years, actually. Have you been to a coffee place in recent years? Good conversation places. Not good romance places, but good conversation places. And coffee, so.....

Good, low pressure alternative to a traditional date. Good choice. And if there's a spark, it will happen anywhere. Setting only matters to a young gal looking for Prince Charming.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Gotta start thinking ahead a little bit here. If she were to ever see this thread you are one sunk #####. You would be the Pariah of the PTA©, the creep of the neighborhood, the loser dad of all the loser dads.

So you need to think about how you use your electronics:

1. Do you have a laptop or desktop?

2. Do you have this site safely bookmarked as something benign, like Auto Parts Store?

3. Do you habitually leave your phone laying open on a table? Next to your bed? On the counter?

4. Do you ever leave screens open on your computers for people to see? 

5. Do you have a shutdown process every time, and I mean EVERY TIME, you walk away from a device?

You've come a long way. We do not need you to trip up on a rookie mistake.

I got it covered. But good looking out. 

 

[eoMMan]

Are you past your reluctance to say what she does?  You mentioned she works for herself--doing what?

I was all in for you prior to the tats disclosure.  Not necessarily a dealbreaker but they show questionable judgment IMO. She is in her early 40s?

Yeah, I'm not against tats but getting one on your neck screams either "I'm easy", "I'm a criminal", or "I'm bat#### crazy".

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

 Time to man up a bit.

Definitely in the game plan. I did not disclose my plan, but that doesn't mean I don't have one, GB.   As far as asking for a date, that decision will likely be based on how the conversation goes. 

 

[worrierking]

Gotta start thinking ahead a little bit here. If she were to ever see this thread you are one sunk #####. You would be the Pariah of the PTA©, the creep of the neighborhood, the loser dad of all the loser dads.

So you need to think about how you use your electronics:

1. Do you have a laptop or desktop?

2. Do you have this site safely bookmarked as something benign, like Auto Parts Store?

3. Do you habitually leave your phone laying open on a table? Next to your bed? On the counter?

4. Do you ever leave screens open on your computers for people to see? 

5. Do you have a shutdown process every time, and I mean EVERY TIME, you walk away from a device?

You've come a long way. We do not need you to trip up on a rookie mistake.

I agree with Chief. The fact that she is not on facebook indicates a strong level of privacy.  Do not ever show her this thread.  It was a good idea not to take pictures at the zoo.  In fact, maybe a little statement at your coffee date about how you hate all the selfies and other social media stuff would be a good way to score points/reassure her.

 

[Coeur de Lion]

I agree with Chief. The fact that she is not on facebook indicates a strong level of privacy.  Do not ever show her this thread.  It was a good idea not to take pictures at the zoo.  In fact, maybe a little statement at your coffee date about how you hate all the selfies and other social media stuff would be a good way to score points/reassure her.

Might just be related to a bad divorce / crazy ex. In fact, I'd guess that's the most likely scenario given what we know.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Yeah, I'm not against tats but getting one on your neck screams either "I'm easy", "I'm a criminal", or "I'm bat#### crazy".

I remember when I used to be anti-tat. Not any more.  Also, both are in a place she can easily cover up, so she can show them off (or not) if she wants to. 

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Might just be related to a bad divorce / crazy ex. In fact, I'd guess that's the most likely scenario given what we know.

I concur, but plan on asking that too.

 

[AcerFC]

Honestly, @Nathan R. Jessep is playing this so much better than I ever would or could. I call BS on the tough innernets studs spewing negativity. 

And the wardrobe guys have to quit. Are you guys the ones sitting next to Kelly Osbourne on that awful E show. Because that is what you fools sound like. 

And yes, I have zero fashion sense and I could care less. If they still sold skidz, I would rock a pair of those every day for the rest of my life. 

Keep going at your pace colonel. You order that code red

 

[Ned]

I'm not talking about getting tail right away, I'm talking not getting friend-zoned.  He's dangerously close to being seen as a great neighbor she's afraid of losing by getting involved romantically and it not working out. 

It's been 2 weeks.  Take a deep breath, he's got this.

 

[CurlyNight]

I don't get all of this debate about coffee instead of lunch.  It's like you're spending too much time...

:removesSunglasses:

reading the tea leaves.

Reminds me of a debate in another thread...

 

[Apple Jack]

Might just be related to a bad divorce / crazy ex. In fact, I'd guess that's the most likely scenario given what we know.

Yep. Not uncommon for women with psycho exes.

 

[Funkley]

Just make sure she feels like the only person in there you care about. Nothing will turn her off faster than if tight little 20 something yoga pants walks by and your eyes pop out.

Trust me, my wife hates when I do it.

 

[cstu]

Yeah, I'm not against tats but getting one on your neck screams either "I'm easy", "I'm a criminal", or "I'm bat#### crazy".

If I'm a betting man I'm going with "real estate agent".

 

[Otis]

Time for someone's alias to fire up the companion thread over at the purseforums.

 

[cstu]

I agree with Chief. The fact that she is not on facebook indicates a strong level of privacy.  Do not ever show her this thread.  It was a good idea not to take pictures at the zoo.  In fact, maybe a little statement at your coffee date about how you hate all the selfies and other social media stuff would be a good way to score points/reassure her.

I'm doubtful that a woman with two kids doesn't have a Facebook account if for nothing else to share photos with family.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Don't believe she's on Facebook. Unless it's under a different name  

Could be set to only be found by friends of friends?

 

[ShamrockPride]

AZ Ron has some competition with this thread.

 

[E-Z Glider]

Some of you guys are nuts. This broad would have shut him down days ago if there was no interest. I'd say he's pretty much got the green-light to start sending rooster pics at this point.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Could be set to only be found by friends of friends?

Possible, I suppose. 

 

[CurlyNight]

The father being out of the pic (still don't know the reason?) sheds a lot of light. You're going about this the right way..

 

[msommer]

she really likes pants in that 90 degree weather

what if she doesn't shave.. is that a deal breaker?

Odds on wearing a skirt when the back up plan is trampolines: Slim to none

 

[ChiefD]

The wedding reception is going to be awesome for a couple of reasons:

When the Colonel presents his guest list, one of her questions will be: "You have this many friends? How do you know this many people?"

Then the day of the wedding, the commentary should be great as we address her at the reception line:

"Glad the rain held up for you guys."

"Really glad there was no rain today."

"Can you believe the sunshine after all the rain we've had lately?"

"Love your black and gold flowers."

"That tattoo behind your hair on your neck is really nice."

"Was worried about the rain today. Glad it decided to come again some other day."