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What is the Gen Z stare - NYT Style section
A generational debate has started over Gen Z’s tendency to respond to various social situations with a long and intentional stare.
When Valerie Jefferson, 23, posted a video about the “Gen Z stare” on TikTok, she did not expect it to start a fight. Her video, which documented one interpretation of the meaning of the stare — the blank look of someone in a service job who is handling frustrating requests from a customer — unleashed a torrent of intergenerational debates.
“Millennials finally got something to say about Gen Z and I think they ran with it and Gen Z was not happy,” Ms. Jefferson said of the two generations duking it out in the comments section of her video, which now has more than three million views.
Ms. Jefferson’s video was one of dozens of recent clips racking up millions of views over the last few weeks on the concept of the Gen Z stare, which many social media users have said is the blank stare that members of younger generations give in situations where a verbal response would be more common. There are plenty of examples from retail, dining or other customer-facing jobs, but many social media users say it is a broader phenomenon, too.
In a TikTok video, Riley Despot, 30, described an experience she had taking her daughter to a golf lesson with a young teenager. In the video, Ms. Despot said she greeted the instructor and thanked her for agreeing to teach her daughter how to play golf. In response, she said she was met with a stare and a “yeah.”
“I was just confused after the interaction,” she said. “I did some self-reflection and I was like, ‘Did I do something wrong? Did I not read the social situation right?’”
The stare seems to have supporters and detractors, and even Gen Z-ers themselves can’t seem to decide exactly what it is. (Ms. Jefferson said commenters helped convince her that her initial impression of the stare she documented in her video was wrong.)
Efe Ahworegba, 19, a content creator whose video on the subject has more than 11 million views, said the stare was challenging the way customers often treat people in the food service and retail industries.
“The Gen Z stare is basically us saying the customer is not always right,” Ms. Ahworegba said.
She was inspired to share her story after coming across a post where someone who appeared to be a millennial or Gen Xer described a situation in which they were on the business end of the Gen Z stare.
Ms. Ahworegba thought the scenario had a “sense of entitlement” — hence the stare — and that it was “not because of a person’s lack of ability to communicate.”
“They just didn’t want to communicate with someone who’s not using their own brain cells,” she said.
It’s unclear exactly how and when the phrase was coined, but several social media users said they first came across it on TikTok in the last few weeks. And the cause? That’s also up for debate.
Lanie Beams, 25, who felt qualified to make a TikTok on the topic because she is Gen Z herself, said there was a wide range of causes people were identifying, including vaping, iPad usage and the Covid-19 pandemic.
“Everyone’s blaming it on something else,” Ms. Beams said.
Several social media users also pointed to the idea that the stare had roots in anxiety.
“It almost feels like a resurgence of stranger danger,” said Jordan MacIsaac, a 24-year-old bartender. “Like, people just don’t know how to make small talk or interact with people they don’t know.”
Brooke Adams, a 28-year-old content creator who said she identified as a millennial (but leaned toward Gen Z when it came to technology), said she thought Gen Z-ers who missed parts of their high school experience because of Covid struggled with small talk, saying thank you and “just those little things that I think so many of us that were maybe older Gen Z and maybe more millennial are used to.”
Though it’s possible Covid has played some role in Gen Z’s social behavior, the generation’s significant declines in face-to-face interaction have largely been a result of spending so much more time online, said Jean Twenge, the author of “Generations: The Real Differences Between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers and Silents — And What They Mean for America’s Future.”
“Social skills take thousands and thousands of hours to develop and adolescence is a critical period for developing social skills,” Dr. Twenge said. “And Gen Z has spent much less time with their peers in person during that critical stage.”
Ms. Ahworegba had a simpler explanation, saying her Gen Z peers often felt like they did not “owe” anyone conversation.
“I know everybody’s probably tired at their job, but giving a simple greeting can change the interaction” she said, explaining that even saying “hi” could help foster community.
“But if they are talking to you any type of way, I do believe you can give someone the Gen Z stare, if that’s what you feel like,” Ms. Ahworegba added.
Nicole Stock reports on internet culture and other lifestyle news for the Style section of The Times.
my step dad sent me a long text the other day, that really didn't require a response. i went with "yea" seemed to get the job done
