You’ve got a Time Machine, but can only use it once….. (1 Viewer)

[the moops]

Since it says that we can't come back, when I'm older I'd like to go back in time to the mid-late medieval ages. Maybe write some history book or something. Don't really have a specific place or time I'd like to go.

I nominate this as the worst answer. The middle ages?

 

[BLOCKED_PUNT]

I like history.

Where is yours?

 

[cosjobs]

I would go back and coach myself on how to become the best "me" possible. This would include

- Advising on what stocks to invest in over the years.
- Telling myself which women to pursue and which to not bother with.
- Helping make better health-related choices.

The paradox here is that the goal is to make the best version of me possible so that I dont have to go back in time to do it at all, but that doesnt make sense.

I can just imagine my younger self dealing with this. Some crazy old dude from "the future" claiming to be me shows up to give me life advice. I would have probably called the local mental health authorities.

Luke, I am your father

 

[AAABatteries]

Would go back to Freshman year of college - bang everything in sight and connect with my wife as we did (she’s awesome) - make crazy money on the stock market. Seems like a no brainer.

 

[cosjobs]

Follow the way of Ash and lead some primitive screwheads. Go back in time and impress them with my boomstick, Bic lighter, and Oldsmobile Delta 88.

I think if you bring a car, it has to be a delorean

 

[Ministry of Pain]

33 A.D.
Crucifixion of Christ

-I would stop it from ever happening
It would save a lot of lives over the course of history

 

[Scoresman]

33 A.D.
Crucifixion of Christ

-I would stop it from ever happening
It would save a lot of lives over the course of history

Why stop there? Go back 3 billion years to that first complex life emerging from the primordial sea....

...and step on it.

 

[BrutalPenguin]

Unless you're travelling in both space and time, the Earth will be nowhere near you. It was in a very different location 3 billion years ago.

 

[Jayrod]

33 A.D.
Crucifixion of Christ

-I would stop it from ever happening
It would save a lot of lives over the course of history

I know you are infamous for your mathematics prowess, but have you read a single history book?

Read up on the Sino/Japanese wars or the way African and Native American tribes treated each other or how the Mongols treated their victims or what Pol Pot did to Cambodia or what Mao's great leap forward did. All of those atrocities were completely absent any Christian influence.

We'd also likely still have widespread slavery, fewer women's rights and more of a caste system without Christianity.

All of Western Civilization's morality and standards were developed under the umbrella of Christianity. The very concepts of what you believe is good or right was directly shaped by Christianity.

And before you claim Jesus' teachings were all we need, without the grace and forgiveness that comes through Christ's death, burial and resurrection, there would be no Christianity and none of what he taught would have survived a decade, much less 2000 years.

 

[jhib]

Put me in the "go back a week and

This may be selfish but I think I'd go back and win a giant lotto jackpot. Sure, money doesn't solve everything but if I could assure myself, my kids and even their kids of a very comfortable life, that would solve a lot of problems for me and I would assume many others.

But would you have kids? You're going back in time so your future will be different than the life you are living now.

Just go back a week and win that lotto.

i think i would do the same thing, go back to win a recently huge lotto.

Put me in this camp, too. I'm really happy with how my life turned out so far and would be paranoid of screwing anything up by going back further. But an influx of cash right now wouldn't be so bad, either.

Going back to teens/twenties with the knowledge I have now sounds good on the surface, but I'm not sure I could handle the mind f that would be pretty constant. Even if I didn't go crazy, others would probably still think I was. My luck I'd end up in an institution or something.

 

[jhib]

33 A.D.
Crucifixion of Christ

-I would stop it from ever happening
It would save a lot of lives over the course of history

I know you are infamous for your mathematics prowess, but have you read a single history book?

Read up on the Sino/Japanese wars or the way African and Native American tribes treated each other or how the Mongols treated their victims or what Pol Pot did to Cambodia or what Mao's great leap forward did. All of those atrocities were completely absent any Christian influence.

We'd also likely still have widespread slavery, fewer women's rights and more of a caste system without Christianity.

All of Western Civilization's morality and standards were developed under the umbrella of Christianity. The very concepts of what you believe is good or right was directly shaped by Christianity.

And before you claim Jesus' teachings were all we need, without the grace and forgiveness that comes through Christ's death, burial and resurrection, there would be no Christianity and none of what he taught would have survived a decade, much less 2000 years.

And here I just thought it was funny trying to picture how he'd stop it.

 

[BLOCKED_PUNT]

MOP is just saying that he'd stop a lot of killing and bloodshed over religious wars and he's mostly correct but all those religious wars might be replaced by other religious wars or wars of conquest and it may not do anything in the end.

 

[BLOCKED_PUNT]

my money would be on the zoroastrians

 

[bigbottom]

Obligatory Time Travel Bit

 

[Jayrod]

MOP is just saying that he'd stop a lot of killing and bloodshed over religious wars and he's mostly correct but all those religious wars might be replaced by other religious wars or wars of conquest and it may not do anything in the end.

No, he literally said Jesus' crucifixion. Doesn't get more specific than that.

 

[Terminalxylem]

MOP is just saying that he'd stop a lot of killing and bloodshed over religious wars and he's mostly correct but all those religious wars might be replaced by other religious wars or wars of conquest and it may not do anything in the end.

No, he literally said Jesus' crucifixion. Doesn't get more specific than that.

Can’t read his mind, but agree with @BLOCKED_PUNT. Think you’re being a bit sensitive here.

 

[Terminalxylem]

If I’d retain my current age, no reason to travel to the past. Not looking to rewrite history, nor attain uber wealth.

Traveling to the future seems better on the surface, though I don’t really love the trajectory we’re on atm. Hard to know if you’d end up in some Sci-Fi hellscape.

Screw it, I guess I’d go back after all, right before this thread was created.

 

[playin4beer]

Is it a Time Machine or Time Masheen?? Because I've been on that ride, and it sucks..

 

[Jayrod]

MOP is just saying that he'd stop a lot of killing and bloodshed over religious wars and he's mostly correct but all those religious wars might be replaced by other religious wars or wars of conquest and it may not do anything in the end.

No, he literally said Jesus' crucifixion. Doesn't get more specific than that.

Can’t read his mind, but agree with @BLOCKED_PUNT. Think you’re being a bit sensitive here.

Well, I believe it is the most important event in all of time and he tried to point to it as a terrible thing that needs to be stopped.

I think it is too important to just let it slide because people honestly believe that without Jesus the world would be better off. It's a lie with eternal consequences, so call me sensitive or whatever. People need to know that without the death burial and resurrection of Jesus there is no hope for this life or the next.

 

[Chemical X]

This may be selfish but I think I'd go back and win a giant lotto jackpot. Sure, money doesn't solve everything but if I could assure myself, my kids and even their kids of a very comfortable life, that would solve a lot of problems for me and I would assume many others.

But would you have kids? You're going back in time so your future will be different than the life you are living now.

Just go back a week and win that lotto.

i think i would do the same thing, go back to win a recently huge lotto.

While a bunch of cash can certainly improve quality of life, becoming younger would make an even bigger difference imo.

Look at the least stressful day thread - almost everyone mentions times when they were young, and responsibility free.

I think I'd go back to late elementary/middle school. If nothing else, I'd be at lot more effective at dating, and get involved with skiing/climbing earlier.

And I like the blue chip stock idea better than winning the lottery, as I believe a large, public windfall can promote mo' money problems.

What time machine have you heard of that sends you back into the body of your younger self? Be realistic, that would never happen!

go back at your current age. and i would rephrase to say that there would be only one of you.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

1979

I’d probably start by convincing Woz that Steve Jobs was a dope and an awful human. I’d put some future-proof preventative measures on technology. Invest in the right stocks and then use the wealth to direct us (the world) away from technology.

Bonus-

I’d get to see all the greats again- Jordan, Montana, Ali, Tyson, Gretzky, Nolan Ryan, and of course my beloved 90s Cowboys.

 

[ghostguy123]

Back in time the age I am now?
Or back in time to any age knowing what I know now?

 

[ghostguy123]

Probably a little before Covid. Win a huge lottery, then put all that money on TVIX and become the richest person in the history of the world (past, present, and probably even future).

Then do actual good things with it.

 

[Bracie Smathers]

watch out for the morlocks

Timing... Just saw that yesterday.

• The Time Machine​

  • 1960

 

[beer 30]

go back at your current age. and i would rephrase to say that there would be only one of you.

So this changes things up assuming I physically go back at my age now, I'm old. 1984, while still fun, would kinda suck for old me.

In that case, I'd probably do something similar to @ghostguy123, dial it back 10 years, maybe 20 to get in before the housing crash in 2008, nail a lottery for seed money then set the family up forever. There has been incredible opportunity over the last 15-20 years so it wouldn't be difficult to pile up a huge nest egg, fairly anonymously and live a great life.

 

[Chemical X]

Back in time the age I am now?
Or back in time to any age knowing what I know now?

same age......the time machines i have seen don't allow you to choose your age; however, it does usually create 2 of you. Not a fan of the 2 person scenario, especially if you can't return. That would create some crazy tear in the time space continuum.

 

[Kanil]

A commercial made me think of this:

So you have a one use time machine, where would go? Would you use it all? Would you go forward or back? Back to win a giant lotto jackpot, a time in history to alter the future (stop the kennedy assassination, lincoln), spend time with a loved one? But you can’t come back.

2008 - Farming/buying all the bitcoin I can get my hands on.

You’d be better off shorting the mortgage crisis.

No chance. In 2010 Bitcoin were worth $0.003 so essentially 333 for a dollar. Less than $40 invested then, would make you a billionaire today.

Edit: Fixed my math... I think.

 

[brun]

Back in time the age I am now?
Or back in time to any age knowing what I know now?

same age......the time machines i have seen don't allow you to choose your age; however, it does usually create 2 of you. Not a fan of the 2 person scenario, especially if you can't return. That would create some crazy tear in the time space continuum.

Hoping for a Brian & Stewie scenario.

 

[the moops]

No chance. In 2010 Bitcoin were worth $0.003 so essentially 333 for a dollar. Less than $40 invested then, would make you a billionaire today.

Edit: Fixed my math... I think.

This is wild. However, you would have to wait 10+ years to become that billionaire. The wait would be awful!

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Do we get some preparation time so we can know exactly when to buy AAPL, study up on who won sporting events, etc.?

Unless you're going back 3-4 months, there was never a bad time to buy AAPL.

 

[beer 30]

No chance. In 2010 Bitcoin were worth $0.003 so essentially 333 for a dollar. Less than $40 invested then, would make you a billionaire today.

Edit: Fixed my math... I think.

This is wild. However, you would have to wait 10+ years to become that billionaire. The wait would be awful!

So to keep you interested whilst you wait for your ship to come...

50 best Performing Stocks 2010-2020

 

[msudaisy26]

I like the go back just a little. I would memorize a few weeks worth of lotto numbers, stock tips and sports bets. Then use my new wealth and power for good and try to change the world for the better.

I don't want to go to far back because I have had a really good life and don't want it to change it or the people in it that much.

 

[Terminalxylem]

MOP is just saying that he'd stop a lot of killing and bloodshed over religious wars and he's mostly correct but all those religious wars might be replaced by other religious wars or wars of conquest and it may not do anything in the end.

No, he literally said Jesus' crucifixion. Doesn't get more specific than that.

Can’t read his mind, but agree with @BLOCKED_PUNT. Think you’re being a bit sensitive here.

Well, I believe it is the most important event in all of time and he tried to point to it as a terrible thing that needs to be stopped.

I think it is too important to just let it slide because people honestly believe that without Jesus the world would be better off. It's a lie with eternal consequences, so call me sensitive or whatever. People need to know that without the death burial and resurrection of Jesus there is no hope for this life or the next.

He didn’t say stop Jesus from existing; he wanted to stop him from dying.

Obviously this has many ramifications, to believers and nonbelievers alike. While I know nothing about MOP's religious beliefs, it seems like a stretch to believe he’d want travel back in time to destroy Chritianity’s path to salvation.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Jesus v. The Man From the Future

 

[Kanil]

No chance. In 2010 Bitcoin were worth $0.003 so essentially 333 for a dollar. Less than $40 invested then, would make you a billionaire today.

Edit: Fixed my math... I think.

This is wild. However, you would have to wait 10+ years to become that billionaire. The wait would be awful!

I'd drop an extra $40 and cash out in intervals. Be a millionaire soon enough.

 

[Gally]

I would give the opportunity to @Instinctive so he could travel back 20 yrs so he can come to his senses and realize Seinfeld is the best show of all time.

 

[Hoh]

But the rental agreement says you have to return the machine 2 seconds after you sign or you forfeit your deposit?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Jesus v. The Man From the Future

Hollywood is running out of superhero movies, so this might work.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Jesus v. The Man From the Future

Hollywood is running out of superhero movies, so this might work.

The soul of humanity is at stake.

 

[Snotbubbles]

This may be selfish but I think I'd go back and win a giant lotto jackpot. Sure, money doesn't solve everything but if I could assure myself, my kids and even their kids of a very comfortable life, that would solve a lot of problems for me and I would assume many others.

But would you have kids? You're going back in time so your future will be different than the life you are living now.

Just go back a week and win that lotto.

i think i would do the same thing, go back to win a recently huge lotto.

While a bunch of cash can certainly improve quality of life, becoming younger would make an even bigger difference imo.

Look at the least stressful day thread - almost everyone mentions times when they were young, and responsibility free.

I think I'd go back to late elementary/middle school. If nothing else, I'd be at lot more effective at dating, and get involved with skiing/climbing earlier.

And I like the blue chip stock idea better than winning the lottery, as I believe a large, public windfall can promote mo' money problems.

You could just go back to 2009, buy 100,000 bitcoin for $100 and you'd have $8.4B today.

 

[Cheese and Crackers]

Go back 10 years and 3 months, duct tape Brandon Bostick to the chair in his hotel room.

 

[Terminalxylem]

This may be selfish but I think I'd go back and win a giant lotto jackpot. Sure, money doesn't solve everything but if I could assure myself, my kids and even their kids of a very comfortable life, that would solve a lot of problems for me and I would assume many others.

But would you have kids? You're going back in time so your future will be different than the life you are living now.

Just go back a week and win that lotto.

i think i would do the same thing, go back to win a recently huge lotto.

While a bunch of cash can certainly improve quality of life, becoming younger would make an even bigger difference imo.

Look at the least stressful day thread - almost everyone mentions times when they were young, and responsibility free.

I think I'd go back to late elementary/middle school. If nothing else, I'd be at lot more effective at dating, and get involved with skiing/climbing earlier.

And I like the blue chip stock idea better than winning the lottery, as I believe a large, public windfall can promote mo' money problems.

You could just go back to 2009, buy 100,000 bitcoin for $100 and you'd have $8.4B today.

Yeah, I understand the concept, and it would be nice to be filthy rich.

That said, my life is really great now, and I’m not sure I’d be willing to throw it away for extra financial security.

I would do it for guaranteed 16 years of extra lifespan though.