Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
Your favorite dump ever / Looking for a new dentist (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Scoresman
- Start date
I had a poop that looked like a J once. Perfect curve that looped around and pointed back at where it came from with no sign of a break. It was stunning. I was with a brand new GF at the time and had to do everything I could to not pull her in the bathroom to see. It was actually kind of sad to flush. I ended up having to tell her about it because she could tell something happened in the bathroom. I guess I was visibly distraught and/or shell-shocked. She thought it was hilarious and we joked about it for years. Made me wish I had shown her even more. Still haven't made another perfect J to this day.
1-800-Dentist
1-800-Dentist
Last edited by a moderator:
Willie Neslon
Footballguy
Love the effort but watch your form
AAABatteries
Footballguy
11/28/03 - day after turkey day 2003
No
No
Ignoramus
Footballguy
The one I remember being the most satisfying came after a day where I corn holed with Guster, coincidentally.
Against my better judgment, I ended up drinking all of the bourbon in Cincinnati and spent the night near death and completely nude on the hotel bathroom floor. I woke up wishing I had died the night before.
The greasy spoon Guster sent me to in the ghetto didn't help matters. Usually a starchy and fatty breakfast does wonders, but not this time. I sat in the booth, barely upright, with my head against the wall and just prayed for it all to stop.
Then came the drive to Indiana. Lying across the back seat, going around curves and up and down hills (I live in the swamp lands of Southeast Texas so any elevation change over 10' makes my ears pop).
And my farts. Oh. My. Gawd.
If something ate an armadillo that had been cooking a few days on the side of I-10 and then Rosie O'Donnell came along shoved that that thing up her sweaty cooch and then she died and was eaten by a leprous skunk and then the skunk had crawled up my ### and then died my farts literally could not have smelled any worse. That poor rental car. Oh yeah, my poor brother and wife, too.
Finally we come to the greatest attraction in all of Western Ohio, Jungle Jims.
And I have to poop.
Now.
For those that don't know, Jungle Jims is about an eighty-nine acre shopping complex/grocery store/nursery/amusement park/alligator farm. And evidently it has one bathroom. And it's hidden in the way back, back, back area of the store and camouflaged to look like an ordinary porta-potty. But, but the grace of Allah, I somehow found it without a map and compass and, more importantly, without ####ting myself.
Sidebar.
To the management and staff of Jungle Jims: please accept my most sincere apology for the vile, unspeakable act perpetrated upon you and your facility that day. I am not proud of the devastation I wreaked upon you and you did not deserve my wrath.
However, when I finally emerged some thirty-five minutes later, it was if I was reborn. A phoenix, rising from the poo. I was alive, I tell you. Alive.
Best. Poop. Ever.
Against my better judgment, I ended up drinking all of the bourbon in Cincinnati and spent the night near death and completely nude on the hotel bathroom floor. I woke up wishing I had died the night before.
The greasy spoon Guster sent me to in the ghetto didn't help matters. Usually a starchy and fatty breakfast does wonders, but not this time. I sat in the booth, barely upright, with my head against the wall and just prayed for it all to stop.
Then came the drive to Indiana. Lying across the back seat, going around curves and up and down hills (I live in the swamp lands of Southeast Texas so any elevation change over 10' makes my ears pop).
And my farts. Oh. My. Gawd.
If something ate an armadillo that had been cooking a few days on the side of I-10 and then Rosie O'Donnell came along shoved that that thing up her sweaty cooch and then she died and was eaten by a leprous skunk and then the skunk had crawled up my ### and then died my farts literally could not have smelled any worse. That poor rental car. Oh yeah, my poor brother and wife, too.
Finally we come to the greatest attraction in all of Western Ohio, Jungle Jims.
And I have to poop.
Now.
For those that don't know, Jungle Jims is about an eighty-nine acre shopping complex/grocery store/nursery/amusement park/alligator farm. And evidently it has one bathroom. And it's hidden in the way back, back, back area of the store and camouflaged to look like an ordinary porta-potty. But, but the grace of Allah, I somehow found it without a map and compass and, more importantly, without ####ting myself.
Sidebar.
To the management and staff of Jungle Jims: please accept my most sincere apology for the vile, unspeakable act perpetrated upon you and your facility that day. I am not proud of the devastation I wreaked upon you and you did not deserve my wrath.
However, when I finally emerged some thirty-five minutes later, it was if I was reborn. A phoenix, rising from the poo. I was alive, I tell you. Alive.
Best. Poop. Ever.
AAABatteries
Footballguy
What if I told you you could have a new dentist AND an unusual poop experience? Is that something you may be interested in?
McGarnicle
Footballguy
When I was in high school this freshman welched on a bet and a bunch of us buried him up to his neck and I took a dump on his head. It was so awesome.
Josh Berd on Geary Blvd. is a solid dentist imo.
Josh Berd on Geary Blvd. is a solid dentist imo.
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
AAABatteries
Footballguy
avoiding injuries
Footballguy
I was prescribed a medicine that constipated me. It took 5 days of stool softener and prune juice to get me going again.
arrow1
Footballguy
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
Mine was in a Burger King bathroom next door to a dentist office.
Parrothead
Footballguy
I #### my pants getting a cavity filled
AAABatteries
Footballguy
technicaldifficulties
Footballguy
I did the Trans-Siberian railroad in 2003. I was on the train from Moscow to Irkutsk (Saturday - Wednesday) without taking a dump. When I got to the hotel, it took an hour and a half to get all out -- think thick, black cable. It was one of those dumps where I had to slowly walk from the bathroom to the couch and then slowly sit down to recuperate.
strykerpks
Footballguy
My favorite dump is always the last one I just had
