Youth and Multiple Sports- Navigating the Waters (1 Viewer)

[Chadstroma]

Nothing going on today. No practice or games for any of the kids. I had to text that to my wife like three times because she didn't understand. It went like....

Her: What is the schedule tonight?

Me: Nothing going on.

Her: For (Daughter)?

Me: Nope. Nothing at all today.

Her: For (Middle Son)?

Me: Nothing for anyone. No practices or games.

Her: For any of them? Amazing.

Now, Sat will be a long day. Middle son has a swim meet so... 7am to about 12. Youngest son has a basketball like clinic thing for little kids which I will help out with like 2pm. Then my daughter has a basketball game like at 4.

 

[Chadstroma]

My son has made a couple of comments about not doing swim 'next year'. I am not sure if he means next season, actual next year or the fall/winter. He seemed confused about what it meant too and before I was able to get full clarity something came up to end the conversation.

I have always said that I will not force my kids to do any sport but I do encourage, guide, push etc to a point. I do temperature checks every so often on how they enjoy sports and their favorite etc. Swim is on the tail end of his favorite sports. Football is his favorite, soccer after that and then basketball and swim are tied with baseball out of the top 5 (he doesn't play baseball).

I think the problem with swim is that he rather sit around playing Fortnite than going to practice. To me, that isn't an acceptable reason to not do something you like doing. If he didn't like swimming, fine, not a problem, you don't do it. But stopping doing something you like because it requires work is something that is a dangerous slippery slope and a bad life lesson. At the same time, I don't to push him into doing something he doesn't want to do.

He had a great football season and there is no doubt in my mind that two huge factors to him doing so well beyond his natural physical/athletic attributes were being in swim last season in which it built up his strength, stamina and speed/quickness and then the couple of weeks of football camps he was in the summer. I started to bring that up to tie swim to football for him but that was about when the conversation got sidetracked with other stuff.

I am going to dig into it more but wanted to get feedback/perspective from others on this.

As a case study of this, my daughter... This last summer, my daughter really did not want to do some basketball camps. She favors volleyball (at least she use to) and really was only interested in basketball camps that her friends were in. I felt she needed to go beyond her comfort zone in that and didn't really give her a choice. She did them, enjoyed them and they made a huge difference in her play this last season. She enjoys basketball much more now and was basically the best player on her team (B Team) and I think she is more open to doing things like that again without the comfort level of her friends. On the other hand, I thought she could do very well in swimming. I wanted really wanted her to try it but she didn't want to so I didn't make her.

I think there is a balancing act here. Making your kids do things at times but not forcing them to do things.... if they makes sense. I guess the why behind it is important like their motives to do or not do something.... and if it is something they like but they are being lazy or in a comfort zone, I push hard against that. How much encouragement/pushing etc good and healthy and how much is too much. Thoughts?

 

[Gally]

I think there is a balancing act here. Making your kids do things at times but not forcing them to do things.... if they makes sense. I guess the why behind it is important like their motives to do or not do something.... and if it is something they like but they are being lazy or in a comfort zone, I push hard against that. How much encouragement/pushing etc good and healthy and how much is too much. Thoughts?

There is a balancing act for sure. Could this be a situation where he is busy year round and wants a break from an organized thing and since swimming is low man on the totem pole he wants to dump that? Also, I forget how old he is but I am guessing around 12-ish? At that point these decisions should mainly be his with you describing the pros and cons of his decisions so he can make an informed decision.

I think age is a big factor on how much to "push". The older they get pushing becomes a problem because they will rebel and it will be miserable for everyone. Bottom line is communication and figuring out the motives, pros, and cons of the decisions and trying to allow your kid to make his own choices while being able to tell you the reasons behind his choices.

 

[Chadstroma]

I think there is a balancing act here. Making your kids do things at times but not forcing them to do things.... if they makes sense. I guess the why behind it is important like their motives to do or not do something.... and if it is something they like but they are being lazy or in a comfort zone, I push hard against that. How much encouragement/pushing etc good and healthy and how much is too much. Thoughts?

There is a balancing act for sure. Could this be a situation where he is busy year round and wants a break from an organized thing and since swimming is low man on the totem pole he wants to dump that? Also, I forget how old he is but I am guessing around 12-ish? At that point these decisions should mainly be his with you describing the pros and cons of his decisions so he can make an informed decision.

I think age is a big factor on how much to "push". The older they get pushing becomes a problem because they will rebel and it will be miserable for everyone. Bottom line is communication and figuring out the motives, pros, and cons of the decisions and trying to allow your kid to make his own choices while being able to tell you the reasons behind his choices.

He is 9.

I think the biggest factor is wanting to come home and go play Fortnite and not have to leave. I watch most of his practices and he enjoys himself a lot. Smiling, laughing, having fun even at practice. he enjoys swimming and he enjoys competition. He has this lazy streak in him though that he doesn't want to actually do it until he is doing it.

I think my feel is the same as you... the older they get the more I let them decide for themselves.

My daughter is in vball.... her school vball is starting and she is doing club vball for the first time. The club has different levels the lowest being 'Academy' and then the next is travel. My daughter first said she just wanted to do academy and I said ok. Then she changed her mind and I said ok. The only one you can choose it he academy and you need to make the other teams. We found out she made the travel team so I asked her what she wanted to do. Academy is 3 months and travel is 6. Obviously more involved. So, last night asked her which she wanted to do. I told her it was up to her but what she committed to, she commits to. She moaned about it being so long but she has nothing after her school vball ends which will be about 3-4 months but decided on the travel.

It is up to my kids about what sports they play or don't play. I don't push my daughter as much as she hasn't been as competitive (though she kind of found some competitiveness in her this year in basketball as she improved greatly). My son wants to play in the NFL but clearly does not grasp how hard that is and what he will need to do to have a slimmer of a change of a hope to even come close to that yet. So, I do encourage him a little more to work harder as he has some natural ability and some aspirations.

If he doesn't want to swim... ok, fine. But heck no if it is to get more sitting around time watching youtube or playing Fortnite.

 

[Gally]

If he doesn't want to swim... ok, fine. But heck no if it is to get more sitting around time watching youtube or playing Fortnite.

I don't mind some of this if the kid is staying busy most of the time. Kids do need breaks from activities too. Maybe give him a choice of swimming to earn device time? Although like I said, downtime is also needed. It's tough and at 9 it's still a little young to start weaning off of sports that he obviously likes while he is doing them.

 

[Chadstroma]

If he doesn't want to swim... ok, fine. But heck no if it is to get more sitting around time watching youtube or playing Fortnite.

I don't mind some of this if the kid is staying busy most of the time. Kids do need breaks from activities too. Maybe give him a choice of swimming to earn device time? Although like I said, downtime is also needed. It's tough and at 9 it's still a little young to start weaning off of sports that he obviously likes while he is doing them.

He has plenty of down time and spends 90% of it playing video games. Swim practice is about an hour 3 or 4 times a week. It is far from all consuming. I like the idea of swim equals earning video time.

 

[Chadstroma]

Not exactly relevant to this thread but close enough and not worth it's own...

Coaching my sons school basketball team. I am the only coach for the team (three teams from his grade and 5 coaches.) We play at a few courts for practices as court time has a lot of mouths to feed (3rd-8th grade teams for boys basketball and 4th-8th girls volleyball which pretty much all have 2 teams and some 3).

On Friday night we were scheduled for a court I have never been at before. It was cold and I left my jacket so trying to figure it out I went to some doors and they were open. I walked in and could see what was clearly something sports related. I walked over and there was a gym. So.... great. I turned the lights on and flagged down the kids to come in there. There was this nagging feeling that something wasn't right but whatever... we had our practice. At one point, I saw someone kind of poke their head in and then they left.

Apparently, at this school there is an elementary school and a jr high school basically on the same lot of land using the same parking lot and so forth with the buildings separated by a walkway. We were the Jr High and supposed to be in the Elementary school.

 

[SwampDawg]

Not exactly relevant to this thread but close enough and not worth it's own...

Coaching my sons school basketball team. I am the only coach for the team (three teams from his grade and 5 coaches.) We play at a few courts for practices as court time has a lot of mouths to feed (3rd-8th grade teams for boys basketball and 4th-8th girls volleyball which pretty much all have 2 teams and some 3).

On Friday night we were scheduled for a court I have never been at before. It was cold and I left my jacket so trying to figure it out I went to some doors and they were open. I walked in and could see what was clearly something sports related. I walked over and there was a gym. So.... great. I turned the lights on and flagged down the kids to come in there. There was this nagging feeling that something wasn't right but whatever... we had our practice. At one point, I saw someone kind of poke their head in and then they left.

Apparently, at this school there is an elementary school and a jr high school basically on the same lot of land using the same parking lot and so forth with the buildings separated by a walkway. We were the Jr High and supposed to be in the Elementary school.

Guess they should lock their doors...lucky it was you and not a bunch of kids looking to cause trouble

 

[Chadstroma]

My son has been complaining a lot this swim season about swimming. The silly thing about it is that when he gets to practice I watch him have a good time, smiling, laughing- visibly enjoying himself. He takes pride in being 1st in line in his practice group because he is fastest, making the length of the pool in streamline practice with fins (only one in his practice age group), etc. However, since he is a young 9 years old he isn't winning races in meets being in the 10U. There are a lot of races that he ends up being the fastest 9 yr old. I keep trying to explain this to him because I know that he is super competitive and not winning tends to demotivate him rather than spur him on to try harder. He kept pushing and pushing to take a season off which I really don't want him to do because I know it will end up hurting him when he wants to win and will have the capability of winning a lot.

I walked him through that he is in the 1st of 4 seasons of being in 10U and that as he gets older and if he keeps swimming that in his last season, he will do a lot of winning based on how he is doing now against his competition. So, I proposed that next season, this upcoming Spring/Summer season, instead of taking it off that he would still do the season but instead of the 4 practices a week, could do 2-3 and then we would skip all the optional meets. I think this works out well. Me not spending as much time on taking him to swim etc will be helpful as a family we will still be going through some major medical things that are draining time and energy from me and then for him, he gets more time to play Fortnite or Roblox (which is really what he wants to do when not doing sports and whines about having to leave to go to practice) but doesn't miss out on a whole season and backtracks. Then when he is 10 in the Fall/Winter and then Spring/Summer seasons he can go back at it full speed where he will do well and be more motivated.

I also tried to explain to him how swim is very helpful for him in Football, soccer and basketball as well (the three sports he likes the most in order). I am not sure he really understands that or he thinks I am selling him on something. I wouldn't push on this so much if it wasn't that I knew the two big reasons he is not wanting to swim as much is he wants to play video games and because he isn't winning- when in reality, he is doing awesome and I can see how much it helps him be better in other sports, especially football.

 

[PIK95]

Not exactly relevant to this thread but close enough and not worth it's own...

Coaching my sons school basketball team. I am the only coach for the team (three teams from his grade and 5 coaches.) We play at a few courts for practices as court time has a lot of mouths to feed (3rd-8th grade teams for boys basketball and 4th-8th girls volleyball which pretty much all have 2 teams and some 3).

On Friday night we were scheduled for a court I have never been at before. It was cold and I left my jacket so trying to figure it out I went to some doors and they were open. I walked in and could see what was clearly something sports related. I walked over and there was a gym. So.... great. I turned the lights on and flagged down the kids to come in there. There was this nagging feeling that something wasn't right but whatever... we had our practice. At one point, I saw someone kind of poke their head in and then they left.

Apparently, at this school there is an elementary school and a jr high school basically on the same lot of land using the same parking lot and so forth with the buildings separated by a walkway. We were the Jr High and supposed to be in the Elementary school.

Guess they should lock their doors...lucky it was you and not a bunch of kids looking to cause trouble

This happens all the time here. The janitors don't know the schedule or even care. They are there anyway.
"look the part, be the part" -Prop Joe

 

[Chadstroma]

So far the year has been manageable.

My oldest, my daughter (11), is in school volleyball and club volleyball.

My oldest son (9) is in basketball for school (I am coaching) and then he is in club swim.

My youngest son (7) pretty much just has swim lessons on Sun right now.

I have missed most of my daughters volleyball games for school. Club hasn't really started playing games yet. She has made all practices for both except 1 which was last night where I had her go to club practice over school. Otherwise, it has been picking up a few minutes early to get from one to another type thing.

My son has missed a lot of swim practice this year but he isn't exactly complaining about that between the end of football and then basketball so far. He missed one dual meet Tuesday because we had a basketball game.

I am starting to feel guilty about the little guy not doing more stuff. He does make comments once in a while but then again, he always has push back on getting ready for swim lessons. I do plan on having him go club swim for next season though.

I was really worried about things with my wife being out of the picture on helping drop off, take, watch games etc. For the most part, I have had a few friends help out on drop off or pick up here and there and for games she basically has hung out with her best buddy who is on the team and just went with them.