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Official Drunk Thread (1 Viewer)

I had to sleep elsewhere and be driven home this morning ;)

I still cant even see straight. Someone come here and shoot me in the head. I've gotta go drink later today too.

 
I'm pretty sure I'm winning the drinking contest.

I started drinking JD at noon yesterday and stopped at 12:30 am. Polished off 3/4 of a 1.75 liter bottle. Yeah I was taking V all day too.

Which by the way, I didn't know V was an appetite suppressant. I didn't eat all day. I mean nothing, nadda.

:lmao:

 
I had to work a party today at the bar. I made a little cash and promptly went and spent it with my BlackFriend and all his black buddies. And of course there was nothing but fat white chicks hanging out with us... :thumbup: Until a spectacularly hot black chick came in and was totally digging Homer's VanillaVibe. :pickle:

So a few of us went to another bar and she was ignoring your GB Homer. :kicksrock: But apparently my vibe got the better of her and she started having me take pictures of her on her phone. Pretty good sh## to be honest. So there were pics that I took of her, pics she took of me, and the requisite arm-length pics of both of us. So we started scrolling back through all the pics, and we started getting to pics that I didn't take...sexy pics...and then lingerie pics...and then some slightly nude pics...and then full-fledged porn pics. Holy crap.

Seriously...she showed me a picture of her fruit basket and then looked at me for approval. I'm seriously disturbed that I'm not banging her right now.

Although after our current text conversation, we're going out Tuesday or Wednesday. OMG, the Homer thread at :e: is gonna be so dirtily updated it'll be silly. This chick loves having her picture taken more than I like pizza.

 
Homer J Simpson said:
I had to work a party today at the bar. I made a little cash and promptly went and spent it with my BlackFriend and all his black buddies. And of course there was nothing but fat white chicks hanging out with us... :bag: Until a spectacularly hot black chick came in and was totally digging Homer's VanillaVibe. :pickle:So a few of us went to another bar and she was ignoring your GB Homer. :kicksrock: But apparently my vibe got the better of her and she started having me take pictures of her on her phone. Pretty good sh## to be honest. So there were pics that I took of her, pics she took of me, and the requisite arm-length pics of both of us. So we started scrolling back through all the pics, and we started getting to pics that I didn't take...sexy pics...and then lingerie pics...and then some slightly nude pics...and then full-fledged porn pics. Holy crap.Seriously...she showed me a picture of her fruit basket and then looked at me for approval. I'm seriously disturbed that I'm not banging her right now.Although after our current text conversation, we're going out Tuesday or Wednesday. OMG, the Homer thread at :e: is gonna be so dirtily updated it'll be silly. This chick loves having her picture taken more than I like pizza.
Click to expand...
:hifive:ATTABOY!
 
Completely tanked and burying some Taco Bell right now.

About to get banned for something...not sure what yet, but I'm guessing Josie Maran will be a notable poster here pretty soon. :lmao:

 
Homer J Simpson said:
I had to work a party today at the bar. I made a little cash and promptly went and spent it with my BlackFriend™ and all his black buddies. And of course there was nothing but fat white chicks hanging out with us... :lmao: Until a spectacularly hot black chick came in and was totally digging Homer's VanillaVibe™. :pickle: So a few of us went to another bar and she was ignoring your GB Homer. :thumbup: But apparently my vibe got the better of her and she started having me take pictures of her on her phone. Pretty good sh## to be honest. So there were pics that I took of her, pics she took of me, and the requisite arm-length pics of both of us. So we started scrolling back through all the pics, and we started getting to pics that I didn't take...sexy pics...and then lingerie pics...and then some slightly nude pics...and then full-fledged porn pics. Holy crap.Seriously...she showed me a picture of her fruit basket and then looked at me for approval. I'm seriously disturbed that I'm not banging her right now.Although after our current text conversation, we're going out Tuesday or Wednesday. OMG, the Homer thread at :e: is gonna be so dirtily updated it'll be silly. This chick loves having her picture taken more than I like pizza.
Click to expand...
:lmao:
 
Finally getting out of this hell hole. Headed to a bar with 60 microbrews on tap...probably followed by a shower and a bit of that hip pop Milwaukee downtown nightlife :rolleyes:

 
The old lady had a Mary Kay or some chick #### party tonight. Right after work I met a few GBs out for some beers. I was supposed to be in bed an hour and a half ago

[homer]

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[/homer]

I'm going to regret posting here in the morning methinksd

 
Nice and sauced. Celebrated my inside the Parker with about 5 pitchers after the game. Got the woman buying baby shower gifts In the other room

 
Had a nice little evening...

Went to son's third soccer game and saw him score his first goal in a 2-1 win.

Picked up Popeye's chicken on the way home.

Mixed some rum into the Coke that came with it.

"Cougar" came over.

More rum and coke while watching CSI.

Got pulled into the bedroom for damn near 3 hours of sexy time and massages.

When she was finally done with me she got dressed and left.

Now one more drink before bed.

I like my life.

 
Disco Stu said:
Had a nice little evening...Went to son's third soccer game and saw him score his first goal in a 2-1 win.Picked up Popeye's chicken on the way home.Mixed some rum into the Coke that came with it."Cougar" came over.More rum and coke while watching CSI.Got pulled into the bedroom for damn near 3 hours of sexy time and massages.When she was finally done with me she got dressed and left.Now one more drink before bed.I like my life.
Click to expand...
I have the hiccups so bad it hurts. Literally. And it's cutting into both my drinking AND smoking.Your day is going WAAAAAAAY better than mine.
 
Homer J Simpson said:
Homer J Simpson said:
Disco Stu said:
Damn. Think I jinxed it. Just got a text asking if I'm her boyfriend.
Click to expand...
:confused: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: The Good Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess...but He's pretty sure...you're f###ed.
Click to expand...
BTW, the rest of us are way ahead of you...you've developed a girlfriend, GB. Sorry about your luck.
Click to expand...
:bag: This keeps happening. The burden of having a "magical penis" I guess. ;)Can't remember if I mentioned she also used that exact term a week or two ago.
 
Disco Stu said:
Homer J Simpson said:
Homer J Simpson said:
Disco Stu said:
Damn. Think I jinxed it. Just got a text asking if I'm her boyfriend.
Click to expand...
:confused: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: The Good Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess...but He's pretty sure...you're f###ed.
Click to expand...
BTW, the rest of us are way ahead of you...you've developed a girlfriend, GB. Sorry about your luck.
Click to expand...
:bag: This keeps happening. The burden of having a "magical penis" I guess. ;)Can't remember if I mentioned she also used that exact term a week or two ago.
Click to expand...
Yeah, you mentioned it.Like, a hundred times.
 
Homer J Simpson said:
Disco Stu said:
Homer J Simpson said:
Homer J Simpson said:
Disco Stu said:
Damn. Think I jinxed it. Just got a text asking if I'm her boyfriend.
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: The Good Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess...but He's pretty sure...you're f###ed.
Click to expand...
BTW, the rest of us are way ahead of you...you've developed a girlfriend, GB. Sorry about your luck.
Click to expand...
:bag: This keeps happening. The burden of having a "magical penis" I guess. ;)Can't remember if I mentioned she also used that exact term a week or two ago.
Click to expand...
Yeah, you mentioned it.Like, a hundred times.
Click to expand...
:lmao: Pretty sure that I was talking about the married chick then.ta-da!
 
OK, this probably could have gone worse...

"Are you my boyfriend?"

"Certainly starting to seem that way."

"Oh ok take all the time you need. I'm yours totally."

:lmao:

 
Disco Stu said:
Had a nice little evening...Went to son's third soccer game and saw him score his first goal in a 2-1 win.Picked up Popeye's chicken on the way home.Mixed some rum into the Coke that came with it."Cougar" came over.More rum and coke while watching CSI.Got pulled into the bedroom for damn near 3 hours of sexy time and massages.When she was finally done with me she got dressed and left.Now one more drink before bed.I like my life.
Click to expand...
Need to add "read a new randons shot" to this list. Gold.
 
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