Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Definitely chat with her. Post your message here.
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.
***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Woz
- Start date
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Meh. It's really funny, and will get them laughing, but will it really get you a higher percentage of hits?Seems like the right strategy, poorly executed.
Major
Footballguy
I'd suggest meeting for a coffee/drink, but maybe a phone call?
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
I don't think he's actually messaged her yet, if I recall eH correctly. I wouldn't come out and ask for a drink immediately.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Ignore the haters. Go with your gut. LA to SF is a small distance to overcome for love.
skillz
Footballguy
Just say you've enjoyed messaging her and would like to get to know more about her over coffee or drink. Tell her a place and time/date you'd be willing to meet up. Put the ball back in her court. If you're just looking to meet people for the next six months then I don't see what the downside is to meeting up with her. If you don't have fun, or don't like her just bail and you'll never have to see her again. Plus, meeting up with someone your "meh" about is a good way to ease into online dating and knock off some rust until a gal that you are more into comes along.
PinkydaPimp
Footballguy
Keep in mind, its possible if you have a common name she keeps clicking ur profile because she thinks your someone else. I do this by mistake every now and then.
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Scratch this - I didn't read the earlier stuff. He should probably just get in his car and start driving.
offdee
Footballguy
Meeting up for some drinks Thursday night with some girl I mustve given my number in a drunken guys outing night a while back.
About 2 months went by and never heard anything, than I wake up one Saturday morning about a month ago to a text received at 1:45am...."are you out tonight sweetie? Wondered what she wanted??? Was in a relationship at the time so just ignored it.
Over the weekend, remembered that text for some reason and wrote back...after some misc banter setup the Thurs night meetiing.
Should be interesting as my memory of what she looked like is cloudy. I remember she was tall (5'10"?), brunette, good dancer, and with a foreign accent. Her name is Favi. Thats all I got.
We'll see how it all plays out. If she's less than a 7, than I enjoy a couple drinks, make my exit and hopefully have a good story to share. Back in the game. :goggles:
About 2 months went by and never heard anything, than I wake up one Saturday morning about a month ago to a text received at 1:45am...."are you out tonight sweetie? Wondered what she wanted??? Was in a relationship at the time so just ignored it.
Over the weekend, remembered that text for some reason and wrote back...after some misc banter setup the Thurs night meetiing.
Should be interesting as my memory of what she looked like is cloudy. I remember she was tall (5'10"?), brunette, good dancer, and with a foreign accent. Her name is Favi. Thats all I got.
We'll see how it all plays out. If she's less than a 7, than I enjoy a couple drinks, make my exit and hopefully have a good story to share. Back in the game. :goggles:
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Update?
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
You're not going to get better at this if we just do it for you.Why not just read through this thread for a bit? There's some great anecdotes in here. Generally, be funny, spontaneous, and not overbearing in the slightest.
Bankerguy
Footballguy
I got back together with my wife after a 14 month separation about. We have added to our family and had a second son who is 16 months old. I am so grateful we worked it out. While it may have seemed like everything was so good for me because I dated and scored a lot. It really wasn't. It was honestly a very difficult time in my life. I was dealing with a separation, my estranged father passing away and hating my job. Oof.Thanks to every one who was a friend to me during that time.I hope everyone finds that someone special.
Last edited by a moderator:
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Congrats Bankerguy. Glad to hear things are going well in your life and with your wife. 
Bucky - write what you want. She's read your profile and is clearly interested so whatever shtick you use has definitely worked. I'd be sure to tell her you have someone moving in with you in 6 months so aren't looking for anything serious. Maybe tell her you've always heard SF is a fantastic city and would love to visit and maybe live there someday.
Bucky - write what you want. She's read your profile and is clearly interested so whatever shtick you use has definitely worked. I'd be sure to tell her you have someone moving in with you in 6 months so aren't looking for anything serious. Maybe tell her you've always heard SF is a fantastic city and would love to visit and maybe live there someday.
OC Zed
Footballguy
OC Zed
Footballguy
I had the first date with the pediatrician tonight. She seemed nice and the conversation was good. She did look a lot like her photos, so I don't feel deceived. She is definitely much different physically from the tall, leggy model/cheerleader I last dated, but I am actually more attracted to the "doctor" look (I am probably the only guy in the world like this). And I'm also attracted to her intelligence obviously. She seemed to be into me as well, so I think I'll ask her for a second date.General question here: what do you guys typically like to do for second dates? Dinner is always a decent option at this point. I also have my own ideas for non-dinner dates, but I'm curious to hear thoughts from the peanut gallery as well.
James Daulton
Footballguy
Question for you Banker. Since you said that you dated and hooked up during your seperation, I'm assuming that your wife did too. Does that ever bug you? I've been with my wife a long time and I think I'd be super jealous about that and wouldn't handle it well. Might be just me though.
offdee
Footballguy
Dinner at a nice, but not overly extravagent place (think authentic mexican place that has a lot going on and upbeat energy), and then out to a cool bar or lounge for some after dinner drinks. Oh, you've had too much to drink to drive home? You're welcome to stay at my place.... (have a bottle of wine ready and waiting to be opened when you get home and let the good times roll)
offdee
Footballguy
My latest text exchange from last night. (on Saturday I said Id think of a place to meet for drinks and let her know, but keep Thurs open)Me @8:11pm: Lets meet up at (location) at 8:30 Thurs. night for some drinksHer @9:05pm: OK, that works. Hopefully you remember what I look like. LOLMe @9:30pm: Same for you...its been a while. I remember tall and brunette so that should narrow it down a bitNo response entire night. Instinct was that I may have offended her or something stupid and "should I write another witty/complimentary message to make sure" thought creeped in. But just played it cool knowing writing another message before a reply would come off as unconfident (and really didnt care enough to worry about it)Her @7:53am this morning: LOL. Agree it has been a long time. Looking forward to seeing you again.I won't be responding. Ball is now in my court and Im keeping it.
Major
Footballguy
It means she's annoying
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
It means she's fat. It's a good way to hide it.
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Having drinks on Friday with a girl who's getting her doctorate in something liberal arts. She's 24, so probably at the lowest end of my age-range. Short brunette, not fat, not thin - seems to have her #### together.
Major
Footballguy
Yep. I prefer going to a lively bar/lounge with good food that isn't too formal (Gastropub, one of those mixologist places, etc) so it's not necessarily a dinner date. Of course, quality Mexican food is always advised if the restaurant has potent margaritas. Main thing on the second date is to imbibe heavily and give the impression that you're a man about town. I tend to favor places where I know the owners and/or bartenders so they hook it up and make me look :special:
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
I like the general principle of this, but it seems like that can backfire, too. "He always comes here? This place is really mediocre. How much does he drink?" Stuff like that.
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
I'm really happy for you, gb. Awesome to hear it all worked out.
Zow
Footballguy
No, he hasn't messaged her yet. He's about to hit the message stage and should hold off. Woz formula I developed for my last journey though (which actually worked, I swear) for when he does:1. Initial message with a casual greeting and asking either a genuine follow up on smething they mentioned in their answers during the answer stage (to show them you actually paid attention) or a witty comment based on something in their answer (e.g. I got to that stage with another lawyer and my initial message was, "everyone says two lawyers should never date, do you think we'll hate each other?").2. Tell (don't ask, tell) that you'd like to meet for coffee or a drink - This does several things. First, is shows assertiveness - it took me forever to realize one can be both assertive and polite. And on eharmony you've already had like 4 exchanges so if you got that far she wants to go out with you - meaning it's not a cold request. It's also immediately guaranteeing them you won't request something sketchy like coming over for dinner/movie or something too commital like dinner out or going to see a movie (worst first date idea ever). 3. Follow up and end with providing YOUR phone number. Something like "shoot me a text or a call at ### so we can figure out a good date and time." This accomplishes several things. First and foremost it alleviates the girl's worry of giving out too much info. I cannot stress the importance of this. Girls want to know they won't be stalked. It also puts the ball in their court without looking weak - in fact you are confident enough that you don't know her number and that you know she'll call you. Lastly, this moves the conversation off the abstract internet into real life so they know you are a real, interested person. I was something like 10 for 10 in receiving a call or text (almost always text) within the next 24 hrs of sending that message. Funny side note: current gf and likely future wife who I met on eharm told me she would have closed me out if I asked for her number and didn't do it the way I did. Said I was one of only a few guys to do this, and the only one she actually went out with.
Zow
Footballguy
Me tooI'm really happy for you, gb. Awesome to hear it all worked out.
That said, you were an all-star here. That story about meeting that one girl with the agreement you wouldn't talk until after sex was awesome.
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Whoa.
Zow
Footballguy
she's pretty awesome
skillz
Footballguy
Good for you Woz. Glad you found a great gal - the former softball player right? I have followed your approach as well on eharmony and it's worked very well. Once you get into texting though I found it is good to make sure to solidify plans to meet up with her pretty quickly. You want to be able to keep the momentum going and also don't want to spend too much going back and forth via texting so you still have fun stuff to talk about when you meet up. On eharmony that can be tricky since you already have quite a bit of communication through the questions and email stage (although through the profile info, questions and answers, you get a lot of info to use for having conversation with her - makes it a lot easier than going on a date cold). I had one girl I met on eharmony tell me on a date she liked the fact that once we started texting off of eharmony I went right into finalizing details to meet up with her. She said some guys would spend the next week or more texting her without any end game. She got sick of it. Her words were "I am on this site to meet and go out with guys, not text them." Food for thought.
Zow
Footballguy
Yep, former softball player. And your experience is very common with my more recent idating experiences - which were obviously a touch better than my initial attempts. Definitely cannot stress enough, especially on eharmony where you have a built-in getting to know period, to move as quickly from internet to phone to date as fast as possible. There's nothing wrong with a little witty texting banter, but I always tried to set a date within a few days of contact, solidify plans, then not talk to them until maybe an hour before the date just to indirectly confirm (something like, "headed to X in 20, see you soon"). This makes it seem like you have a life and, after all, you'll find out pretty quickly when you meet if there is any chemistry - no sense in having a couple awkward phone calls or text convos.* But you gotta move quickly. After all, if a girl is hot she is getting tons of offers. Odds are she'll hit it off with, say, one of the first five and try dating him exclusively. Or, she'll get burned out and not be as into it. You got a small window and, as your date said, she's there to date - courtship or whatever isn't needed!*Unless there's a little difference between the two of you and you intend to sleep with her on the first date. Then, IMO, you gotta gain some confidence and build her excitement up a bit for the date. Your odds of sleeping with her go up significantly if she feels like she knows you and if there is a far distance you likely can't get together in the next couple of days and you run the risk of losing contact.
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
I liked what you said until here. If you're on eHarmony, and your goal is strictly sex, you're doing it wrong.
Last edited by a moderator:
Bankerguy
Footballguy
Thanks man.I'm really happy for you, gb. Awesome to hear it all worked out.
Major
Footballguy
Please post your original message to her so we can properly assess the situation.
PinkydaPimp
Footballguy
Not in the mood.
skillz
Footballguy
It's hard to figure out the context here. Sometimes on eharmony it is fine trying to set up a meeting right away on the email communication and other times the gal wanted to go back and forth a time or two with me before she was comfortable enough to meet up. It's a balance between coming off as too aggressive and scaring her away, and being too passive where she loses interest and goes for another guy.
Since she wants to go to Napa I presume she likes wine. Figure out a place where you can meet up with her for some wine for a first date. Write her back and say that you're looking to meet new people as well, what she wrote really sounds interesting [pick out a thing or two that you can specifically identify so it looks like you paid attention to what she said) and tell her you'd like to meet up with her and learn more about her. Tell her it sounds like she enjoys wine so let's meet up at _____ [pick a place] on __________ [pick a date] to have some wine and hang out. Give her your cell number as well and say you wanted her to have it in case you guys needed to further finalize the details beforehand. Ball is in her court at that point. She'll either say she wants to meet up, call/text or give you her number so you can call/text her, or say she's not interested in meeting up. At least you'll know where you stand.
As I said though, sometimes the women on eharmony don't want to be rushed into meeting. They can get creeped out easily. So you'll just have to figure out whether to trying to meet up with her in your next email, or shooting another volley back. I tend to err on the side of trying to meet up - since other guys are trying to do the same thing. If she isn't into meeting yet, she will tell you that she is not interested or still wants to some chat by email before meeting up, but at least you tried.
My
Since she wants to go to Napa I presume she likes wine. Figure out a place where you can meet up with her for some wine for a first date. Write her back and say that you're looking to meet new people as well, what she wrote really sounds interesting [pick out a thing or two that you can specifically identify so it looks like you paid attention to what she said) and tell her you'd like to meet up with her and learn more about her. Tell her it sounds like she enjoys wine so let's meet up at _____ [pick a place] on __________ [pick a date] to have some wine and hang out. Give her your cell number as well and say you wanted her to have it in case you guys needed to further finalize the details beforehand. Ball is in her court at that point. She'll either say she wants to meet up, call/text or give you her number so you can call/text her, or say she's not interested in meeting up. At least you'll know where you stand.
As I said though, sometimes the women on eharmony don't want to be rushed into meeting. They can get creeped out easily. So you'll just have to figure out whether to trying to meet up with her in your next email, or shooting another volley back. I tend to err on the side of trying to meet up - since other guys are trying to do the same thing. If she isn't into meeting yet, she will tell you that she is not interested or still wants to some chat by email before meeting up, but at least you tried.
My
Major
Footballguy
Last edited by a moderator:
PinkydaPimp
Footballguy
Sarnoff
Footballguy
Man, I do hate the 'no-questions-back' response. A response just full of short answers that don't lead anywhere really annoys me.
Zow
Footballguy
Eh, she's probably getting a bunch of e-mails and really doesn't know what she is doign or what she wants. I'd send some follow questions if you think she is hot and see if you get a better response, but if not she's either just not that into your pictures or boring. Granted, she did respond so don't take this too badly - she coulda just easily ignored you if she was totally disinterested.'Bucky86 said:
Zow
Footballguy
I think you can have both the goal of a relationship and getting laid. Also, girls on eharmony are just as willing to put out as any other site. In my experience they put out even quicker on there. I seriously think for the more "proper" girl just looking to get laid but don't want to go out with random dudes in bars or risk people they know learning about it eharmony is a great vehicle to achieve that goal.'Keys Myaths said:
Zow
Footballguy
Very good plan. Only minor tweak I'd make is to not throw out a date (keeps it less aggressive) and then it gives her a reason to call or text.'skillz said:It's hard to figure out the context here. Sometimes on eharmony it is fine trying to set up a meeting right away on the email communication and other times the gal wanted to go back and forth a time or two with me before she was comfortable enough to meet up. It's a balance between coming off as too aggressive and scaring her away, and being too passive where she loses interest and goes for another guy.
Since she wants to go to Napa I presume she likes wine. Figure out a place where you can meet up with her for some wine for a first date. Write her back and say that you're looking to meet new people as well, what she wrote really sounds interesting [pick out a thing or two that you can specifically identify so it looks like you paid attention to what she said) and tell her you'd like to meet up with her and learn more about her. Tell her it sounds like she enjoys wine so let's meet up at _____ [pick a place] on __________ [pick a date] to have some wine and hang out. Give her your cell number as well and say you wanted her to have it in case you guys needed to further finalize the details beforehand. Ball is in her court at that point. She'll either say she wants to meet up, call/text or give you her number so you can call/text her, or say she's not interested in meeting up. At least you'll know where you stand.
As I said though, sometimes the women on eharmony don't want to be rushed into meeting. They can get creeped out easily. So you'll just have to figure out whether to trying to meet up with her in your next email, or shooting another volley back. I tend to err on the side of trying to meet up - since other guys are trying to do the same thing. If she isn't into meeting yet, she will tell you that she is not interested or still wants to some chat by email before meeting up, but at least you tried.
My
Zow
Footballguy
It is a bit strange and prob fair to say she isn't THAT interested. So, since you can't let her know at all that you've been bother by this, I'd just roll with it and go with skillz' suggestion - you got nothing to lose.So...just ask more questions? She's not super hot...maybe a 7? What sort of questions do I ask now? It's just strange she didn't ask a single question.
EYLive
Footballguy
EYLive
Footballguy
I hope I did it right this time...
[*]I exchanged several messages with a nice young lady.
[*]Made a joke about feeling that she wasn't a threat to my safety so I sent her my personal email and phone number so she can drunk dial/text me. (instead of asking for hers first)
[*]Invited her out for drinks. (no more 1st date dinners)
She's leaving the country for Christmas/New Years vacation though.
We'll see what happens.
[*]I exchanged several messages with a nice young lady.
[*]Made a joke about feeling that she wasn't a threat to my safety so I sent her my personal email and phone number so she can drunk dial/text me. (instead of asking for hers first)
[*]Invited her out for drinks. (no more 1st date dinners)
She's leaving the country for Christmas/New Years vacation though.
We'll see what happens.
Last edited by a moderator:
PinkydaPimp
Footballguy
Curious if anyone in here has dated this chick?
she is exactly why its drinks at a bar on the first date!
she is exactly why its drinks at a bar on the first date!
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Meh.Got out of there after two drinks, and about three hours. She was OK to talk to, but definitely wasn't interesting at all so it was hard to carry a conversation. Definitely a great girl - really did have her #### together, knows what she wants to do, would make a great partner for someone - but not interesting enough to hang out with again for me. She's obviously looking for a lot more than I am at this point, so it's good to realize that quickly.Oh well. What's next?
skillz
Footballguy
Yes - she was covered in posts 7454, 7457 (I can't get those posts to quote here but the gal got about $70 of mini-golf and a filet mignon on the date and didn't say thanks, or even kiss the guy).
John Bender
Footballguy
skillz
Footballguy
Yeah, I got the same vibes from a 27 year old nurse I went out with about two weeks ago. Nice and she had her stuff together but she was so bland and wanted to take things slow. Wasn't a good fit for me but some guy looking to date someone nice and ready to settle down can have her.
![[icon]](/data/avatars/s/5/5167.jpg?1660313464){kind=avatar}
