***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (2 Viewers)

[Major]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

 

[Zow]

I hope I did it right this time...

[*]I exchanged several messages with a nice young lady.



[*]Made a joke about feeling that she wasn't a threat to my safety so I sent her my personal email and phone number so she can drunk dial/text me. (instead of asking for hers first)

[*]Invited her out for drinks. (no more 1st date dinners)

She's leaving the country for Christmas/New Years vacation though.

We'll see what happens.

I like it, assuming she is <25ish and you know she drinks.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

She's hot and she's into you. What's the problem here? Wrap it up and invite her along to things. When she becomes annoying dump her and move on. Be that a week or a year. Until then just treat her like you would any other woman. Whatever your style is she's clearly into it.

 

[Zow]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

 

[Disco Stu]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

Don't do this. Sounds like a good situation to me. Major is just out of a relationship, stripper will be fun for awhile, then move on, but not before engaging in a threesome.

 

[Major]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

She's hot and she's into you. What's the problem here? Wrap it up and invite her along to things. When she becomes annoying dump her and move on. Be that a week or a year. Until then just treat her like you would any other woman. Whatever your style is she's clearly into it.

Yeah, I'm probably putting too much thought into this. These girls are great to have on the side if they're down to just party but I got the feeling this one is looking for a good guy to settle down with. I'll text her back in a few days and take her to some dive bar for drinks. Will report back.

 

[Keys Myaths]

Got a text this morning from the teacher that I saw about two weeks ago - I had last texted her last week, responding about some inane question about her weekend.

This is the response I got this morning: "Glad you had a good weekend...let me know when you would like to get together again"

I'm obviously not her first choice here, which is fine - because she's not mine. But, might as well set something up, right?

 

[Keys Myaths]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

She's hot and she's into you. What's the problem here? Wrap it up and invite her along to things. When she becomes annoying dump her and move on. Be that a week or a year. Until then just treat her like you would any other woman. Whatever your style is she's clearly into it.

Yeah, I'm probably putting too much thought into this. These girls are great to have on the side if they're down to just party but I got the feeling this one is looking for a good guy to settle down with. I'll text her back in a few days and take her to some dive bar for drinks. Will report back.

I think you're overanalyzing this a bit. Sure, that COULD be what she's looking for, but you don't know that. You're just interpreting actions that could be harmless. Just don't overpromise, and you're fine.

 

[Zow]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

Don't do this.

I would if he is worried this girl wants to be serious (which I didn't read from that text, but he has interacted with her so I'll trust his judgment). I also think he can do it in an open, non-judgmental way in the context of a light conversation. I think he is fine so long as he doesn't qualify with anything or react badly depending upon the answer. Who knows, he may get a really good answer and his worries can be eased.

 

[Keys Myaths]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

Don't do this.

I would if he is worried this girl wants to be serious (which I didn't read from that text, but he has interacted with her so I'll trust his judgment). I also think he can do it in an open, non-judgmental way in the context of a light conversation. I think he is fine so long as he doesn't qualify with anything or react badly depending upon the answer. Who knows, he may get a really good answer and his worries can be eased.

I agree with Stu. It's not a road he wants to go down. Why initiate that?

 

[Major]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

She's hot and she's into you. What's the problem here? Wrap it up and invite her along to things. When she becomes annoying dump her and move on. Be that a week or a year. Until then just treat her like you would any other woman. Whatever your style is she's clearly into it.

Yeah, I'm probably putting too much thought into this. These girls are great to have on the side if they're down to just party but I got the feeling this one is looking for a good guy to settle down with. I'll text her back in a few days and take her to some dive bar for drinks. Will report back.

I think you're overanalyzing this a bit. Sure, that COULD be what she's looking for, but you don't know that. You're just interpreting actions that could be harmless. Just don't overpromise, and you're fine.

Yeah, the stripper thing always is a red flag b/c 95% are crazy, money grubbing slunts and most moonlight as escorts so I thought I'd chime in here for advice. Looks like I just need to treat her like any other girl - I'm sure that doesn't happen often to women in her profession. My goal is to not spend money on her while having teh secks and staying uncommitted and disease free.

 

[Zow]

Got a text this morning from the teacher that I saw about two weeks ago - I had last texted her last week, responding about some inane question about her weekend.This is the response I got this morning: "Glad you had a good weekend...let me know when you would like to get together again"I'm obviously not her first choice here, which is fine - because she's not mine. But, might as well set something up, right?

Unless you are not into her at all, I on't see why not

 

[Disco Stu]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

Don't do this.

I would if he is worried this girl wants to be serious (which I didn't read from that text, but he has interacted with her so I'll trust his judgment). I also think he can do it in an open, non-judgmental way in the context of a light conversation. I think he is fine so long as he doesn't qualify with anything or react badly depending upon the answer. Who knows, he may get a really good answer and his worries can be eased.

No. There is absolutely no reason to open that door at this time. There's just no upside. Better to maintain deniability as long as possible. Improves your chances of not hearing "you knew I wanted more blah blah " later.

They're women, so it's generally pretty safe to assume they want more. Doesn't mean they're going to get it, but the hope is there assuming you're a good catch. You don't need her to verbalize it. That just shifts the responsibility of protecting her heart from her to you. No thanks.

 

[PinkydaPimp]

Yeah, the stripper thing always is a red flag b/c 95% are crazy, money grubbing slunts and most moonlight as escorts so I thought I'd chime in here for advice. Looks like I just need to treat her like any other girl - I'm sure that doesn't happen often to women in her profession. My goal is to not spend money on her while having teh secks and staying uncommitted and disease free.

Just please remember these wise words

 

[Zow]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

Don't do this.

I would if he is worried this girl wants to be serious (which I didn't read from that text, but he has interacted with her so I'll trust his judgment). I also think he can do it in an open, non-judgmental way in the context of a light conversation. I think he is fine so long as he doesn't qualify with anything or react badly depending upon the answer. Who knows, he may get a really good answer and his worries can be eased.

I agree with Stu. It's not a road he wants to go down. Why initiate that?

Because he doesn't want to be serious and wants to avoid the crazy. I can't see any faster way of figuring out if this is what is in store. So long as he asks the question in a way which doesn't suggest he is hoping for a particular answer, he'll know and stop worrying.

 

[Major]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

Don't do this.

I would if he is worried this girl wants to be serious (which I didn't read from that text, but he has interacted with her so I'll trust his judgment). I also think he can do it in an open, non-judgmental way in the context of a light conversation. I think he is fine so long as he doesn't qualify with anything or react badly depending upon the answer. Who knows, he may get a really good answer and his worries can be eased.

That sounds like a lot of work Woz. I won't be doing this.

 

[Zow]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

Don't do this.

I would if he is worried this girl wants to be serious (which I didn't read from that text, but he has interacted with her so I'll trust his judgment). I also think he can do it in an open, non-judgmental way in the context of a light conversation. I think he is fine so long as he doesn't qualify with anything or react badly depending upon the answer. Who knows, he may get a really good answer and his worries can be eased.

No. There is absolutely no reason to open that door at this time. There's just no upside. Better to maintain deniability as long as possible. Improves your chances of not hearing "you knew I wanted more blah blah " later.

They're women, so it's generally pretty safe to assume they want more. Doesn't mean they're going to get it, but the hope is there assuming you're a good catch. You don't need her to verbalize it. That just shifts the responsibility of protecting her heart from her to you. No thanks.

I guess I just assumed if she says she wants something serious he just bails - seems like he is looking for an excuse to do that anyway. He'll also avoid the crazy. Also, if she doesn't verbalize it and says the opposite, he can say later that he asked her and went with what she said. He at least won't be accused of leading her on then.

 

[Keys Myaths]

Also, if she doesn't verbalize it and says the opposite, he can say later that he asked her and went with what she said.

You know better than this. There's no way that a logical explanation is going to fly in any situation like that.

 

[Zow]

Also, if she doesn't verbalize it and says the opposite, he can say later that he asked her and went with what she said.

You know better than this. There's no way that a logical explanation is going to fly in any situation like that.

True, guess it can't hurt to wait til after he sees her a few more times.

 

[Bankerguy]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

It's early so you dont relly know her. Sounds like you are mildly interested. My advice:

-Nothing wrong with still going out when the mood strikes you

-Wear protection

-Have fun for a while

-Don't lie about your intentions if she asks

-Don't have any "where is this going" chats initiated by you

-If you do start to like her and want things to change then you'll have to set ground rules. One I would assume, being she finds new work.

GL.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Because he doesn't want to be serious and wants to avoid the crazy. I can't see any faster way of figuring out if this is what is in store. So long as he asks the question in a way which doesn't suggest he is hoping for a particular answer, he'll know and stop worrying.

The upside of asking her: She says she's looking to bang major for as long as possible with no strings attached.The downside of asking her: She says she's looking for a relationship (either immediately or fairly soon). This seed has now been planted in her mind.The other downside of asking her: She says she's just looking for fun. Major enjoys the ride but it takes some steam out of his sails as all guys want to be thought of as being a catch even if they don't want to be caught.*****************The upside of not asking her: lots of sex and delaying a potentially dangerous conversation.The downside of not asking her: Despite being a stripper, she's actually totally awesome and such a sweetheart he should marry her instantly but because he never professed his love some other suitor steals her away. Major is sad, falls into a great depression and starts drinking heavily. Unable to live with the guilt of letting his soul mate slip through his fingers he kills himself. His parents find his naked body hanging from the ceiling fan with his hand gripped tightly around his flaccid penis and pictures of pregnant asian women scattered across his floor. The ffa loses a valuable member of the fashion thread and the world takes a turn for the worse as we mourn for what could have been.

 

[Zegras11]

Not necessarily iDating but what's the move on taking out a stripper? This is definitely not my wheelhouse. The limited times I encountered these women in my personal life, I normally just have teh secks and don't call back/never hear back but seems like this girl wants to go out again. She's fun, prob an 8 and not your typical idiot dancer. However, I just got out of a relationship, don't feel like jumping back into one (especially with a :dancer and know there's likely plenty of issues beneath the surface that Major ain't got time for.

Normally, I'd assume this girl is just looking to have fun but my gut tells me she likes me and wants 'more'. Basically I don't want to get in deep although I have no problem going deep. I know these girls are a different breed so advice from everyone except Bucky is appreciated.

Text she sent Sunday evening:

Hey Major - I had a great time on Saturday. It was a lot of fun hanging out with you and your friends. Maybe drinks this week? Hope to talk to you soon!

Got no personal experience with dating strippers, but that's a pretty good text. Very unintrusive. Seems to actually be following the rules of dating to a T (nothing committal, Sunday night communication, drinks in lieu of dinner, etc.) I'd say meet up with her and flat out ask her what she is looking for. Don't really see any downside here and may be an interesting experience - especially if you actually started dating.

Don't do this.

I would if he is worried this girl wants to be serious (which I didn't read from that text, but he has interacted with her so I'll trust his judgment). I also think he can do it in an open, non-judgmental way in the context of a light conversation. I think he is fine so long as he doesn't qualify with anything or react badly depending upon the answer. Who knows, he may get a really good answer and his worries can be eased.

No. There is absolutely no reason to open that door at this time. There's just no upside. Better to maintain deniability as long as possible. Improves your chances of not hearing "you knew I wanted more blah blah " later.

They're women, so it's generally pretty safe to assume they want more. Doesn't mean they're going to get it, but the hope is there assuming you're a good catch. You don't need her to verbalize it. That just shifts the responsibility of protecting her heart from her to you. No thanks.

They don't call him Disco for nuttin'

 

[Major]

The upside of not asking her: lots of sex and delaying a potentially dangerous conversation.The downside of not asking her: Despite being a stripper, she's actually totally awesome and such a sweetheart he should marry her instantly but because he never professed his love some other suitor steals her away. Major is sad, falls into a great depression and starts drinking heavily. Unable to live with the guilt of letting his soul mate slip through his fingers he kills himself. His parents find his naked body hanging from the ceiling fan with his hand gripped tightly around his flaccid penis and pictures of pregnant asian women scattered across his floor. The ffa loses a valuable member of the fashion thread and the world takes a turn for the worse as we mourn for what could have been.

that was Awesome

 

[Keys Myaths]

Actual sentence from a recent message:

"Shrimp on the bobby lol Yes I have lived in [redacted] my whole life"

 

[Jojo the circus boy]

you guys might appreciate this email I got today from a buddy of mine living in nyc, here's the full exchange:From buddy:

[Jojo], I know you'd appreciate hearing how my X-mas unfolded. For a change I didn't visit family, just stayed here myself. I started by waking up in the bed of a cute young woman I'd met a few hours before at a party. Left her place without getting her contact info, and with her right pissed-off with me. Went home and took a nap. Then the gym (which is actually open on the 25th, to my surprise). Then two hours of cash poker at that card club you and I played at that one time. Then to the bar with a buddy for a nightcap. Jesus would be proud.

From me:

I'm guessing she was awake when you left? Any yelling? lol

From buddy:

She was a high-maintenance Jewish chick who had made it very clear to me the night before that she is only interested in dating millionaires who will eventually buy her a 3+ carat ring. (Note that she went home with me despite my very clear declarations to the contrary on all counts--I'd told her I'd get her a 3-carat ring but that it would be CZ, out of principle. (By the way, she's a teacher, not some super high-roller herself, although her doctor daddy apparently has some bucks.) By the next morning she had somehow also forgotten that I am separated, again despite us having already beaten that horse dead the night before. She also wasn't aware how old I was. I told her not to worry about that part, since even at my advanced age I was in markedly better shape than her. That went over great. As you can imagine.

 

[coyote5]

Well I'm heading through a divorce now so it looks like I'll be dipping my toe into this pool. Stu or Dr. A or Krista still helping with profiles?

What is the "underground" that was referenced throughout the thread and what do I need to to do get admittance?? :thankyou:

 

[OC Zed]

Well I'm heading through a divorce now so it looks like I'll be dipping my toe into this pool. Stu or Dr. A or Krista still helping with profiles? What is the "underground" that was referenced throughout the thread and what do I need to to do get admittance?? :thankyou:

Sorry to hear about the divorce, GB. There's been loads of good, recent advice in the last 5 or 6 pages. Welcome to The Club. Learn from our successes and failures.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Well I'm heading through a divorce now so it looks like I'll be dipping my toe into this pool. Stu or Dr. A or Krista still helping with profiles? What is the "underground" that was referenced throughout the thread and what do I need to to do get admittance?? :thankyou:

Sorry about the divorce. When you're ready to start nailing chicks read Reginald Cornsilk's post about setting up a profile. It really is a must read/follow. I'll help you out if you need it as will most of the regulars in this thread.

 

[OC Zed]

I put together my eHarmony profile today, but I didn't subscribe yet. (I'm waiting until I get one of their discount promo codes.) I've already received a few requests for "Communication" and "Mail." I don't know what these mean exactly in eHarmony lingo, but it reeks of Match.com's tactics of bombarding new, unpaid members and members with subscriptions who have recently expired with messages/communication from women. And, of course, I have no idea what these chicks even look like until I fork over my to the company.

Has anyone else had a similar experience when starting eHarmony? I'm leery already...

 

[John Bender]

Well I'm heading through a divorce now so it looks like I'll be dipping my toe into this pool. Stu or Dr. A or Krista still helping with profiles?

What is the "underground" that was referenced throughout the thread and what do I need to to do get admittance?? :thankyou:

Sorry about the divorce. When you're ready to start nailing chicks read Reginald Cornsilk's post about setting up a profile. It really is a must read/follow. I'll help you out if you need it as will most of the regulars in this thread.

Link to the post

 

[OC Zed]

I paid for a subscription on eHarmony about a week ago (after calling customer service, they offered 3 months for $60). I am pleasantly surprised so far.

Positives:

--The guided communication is nice. It's like dating foreplay. If I am willing to initiate communication, I am already very inclined to go out with her for a first date. But the question process is good to get to know someone better ahead of time and it can also serve to weed out the total wackos. And now I actually look forward to writing that first e-mail because you have a little bit more to work with than you otherwise would. Essentially, the e-mail is no longer like a cold sales pitch.

--The overall caliber of women is better than on match.com. I'd like to find someone that I can eventually date long-term, so it's great not having to weed through so many casual daters and skanks that are on match or the other dating sites. I'd say the ratio of serious vs. casual daters on eHarmony is about 5:1. And there are more than enough chicks on eHarmony that are willing to date guys with a kid - this was my major gripe with match.com. Also, not surprisingly, you are much more likely to find smart women with good careers on eHarmony which is a big attraction for me.

--Women are much more likely to initiate communication. This is awesome. Ya, I got some dogs thrown my way, but I also got a couple candidates with good potential inquiring me - in only one week's time. I only had one chick contact me on match.com in 9 months that I was willing to see on a date and she turned out to be a total oddball (there were others that were decent, but lived too far away).

Negatives:

--Clunky interface. It would be great to be able to remove chicks from your queue en masse instead of the site's clumsy two-step process for closing matches one chick at a time.

--No photos on the "My Matches" screen. I understand the reason behind this - they want you to see the person's total profile before you make a judgment on them. Realistically though, someone with the best profile isn't going to make me want to date them if they are not my type at all visually.

I still haven't met any of these chicks in person and I need a longer sample period to see how successful I am in meeting the chicks that I initiate communication with, but I like this change of pace.

 

[PinkydaPimp]

I paid for a subscription on eHarmony about a week ago (after calling customer service, they offered 3 months for $60). I am pleasantly surprised so far.Positives:--The guided communication is nice. It's like dating foreplay. If I am willing to initiate communication, I am already very inclined to go out with her for a first date. But the question process is good to get to know someone better ahead of time and it can also serve to weed out the total wackos. And now I actually look forward to writing that first e-mail because you have a little bit more to work with than you otherwise would. Essentially, the e-mail is no longer like a cold sales pitch. --The overall caliber of women is better than on match.com. I'd like to find someone that I can eventually date long-term, so it's great not having to weed through so many casual daters and skanks that are on match or the other dating sites. I'd say the ratio of serious vs. casual daters on eHarmony is about 5:1. And there are more than enough chicks on eHarmony that are willing to date guys with a kid - this was my major gripe with match.com. Also, not surprisingly, you are much more likely to find smart women with good careers on eHarmony which is a big attraction for me.--Women are much more likely to initiate communication. This is awesome. Ya, I got some dogs thrown my way, but I also got a couple candidates with good potential inquiring me - in only one week's time. I only had one chick contact me on match.com in 9 months that I was willing to see on a date and she turned out to be a total oddball (there were others that were decent, but lived too far away). Negatives:--Clunky interface. It would be great to be able to remove chicks from your queue en masse instead of the site's clumsy two-step process for closing matches one chick at a time. --No photos on the "My Matches" screen. I understand the reason behind this - they want you to see the person's total profile before you make a judgment on them. Realistically though, someone with the best profile isn't going to make me want to date them if they are not my type at all visually. I still haven't met any of these chicks in person and I need a longer sample period to see how successful I am in meeting the chicks that I initiate communication with, but I like this change of pace.

I totally agree with all of the above. Also, if you have an ipad(or probably an iphone) you can see the pictures without having to view the profile(which i prefer).

 

[OC Zed]

I totally agree with all of the above. Also, if you have an ipad(or probably an iphone) you can see the pictures without having to view the profile(which i prefer).

Great tip, thanks.

 

[Major]

Have you iDaters ever had a girl falsely advertise her goods and show up 25-50 lbs overweight? What's the shark move here? Happened to a friend of mine the other day. I ran into him at a bar and asked who the fatty was. He was too nice of a guy to blow her off but I would've bounced like a bad check. He showed me a pic of her and she was easily a 9 on the offdee scale (probably a pic from 10 years ago). I told him I'd be pissed and at least confront her.

 

[Jojo the circus boy]

Have you iDaters ever had a girl falsely advertise her goods and show up 25-50 lbs overweight? What's the shark move here? Happened to a friend of mine the other day. I ran into him at a bar and asked who the fatty was. He was too nice of a guy to blow her off but I would've bounced like a bad check. He showed me a pic of her and she was easily a 9 on the offdee scale (probably a pic from 10 years ago). I told him I'd be pissed and at least confront her.

I have had it happen at least twice that I can remember - I felt bad and chatted with her, but ended it after that 1 drink.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

So many profiles are painfully dull and cookie cutter.

On this topic, if you have some variation of any of these cliches in your profile, delete them immediately. And punch yourself in the face."Sometimes I like to go out, and sometimes I like to stay in."

Well, no ####. Sometimes I like to be awake, sometimes I like to sleep.

"Comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans or a suit (or evening gown for the FBGals)."

EVERYONE says this!!

"I like all kinds of music."

Code for I have no taste in music and will listen to whatever garbage happens to be in my immediate area.

"I’m tired of drama / games."

Too negative and implies baggage.

"Love to have fun."

I hate fun. Fun is the worst. #### off.

"I can’t believe I’m doing this, my friend said I should try online dating, etc."

We're all here. No reason to make excuses like you're my son's teacher I just ran into at the strip club.

"I work hard and play hard."

Throat punch.

 

[PinkydaPimp]

Have you iDaters ever had a girl falsely advertise her goods and show up 25-50 lbs overweight? What's the shark move here? Happened to a friend of mine the other day. I ran into him at a bar and asked who the fatty was. He was too nice of a guy to blow her off but I would've bounced like a bad check. He showed me a pic of her and she was easily a 9 on the offdee scale (probably a pic from 10 years ago). I told him I'd be pissed and at least confront her.

I have had this happen 3 times. Typically, i will play it as your friend, but leave after a drink or 2. THis is why the first date is always some place where there is little chance i will run into someone i know!

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Have you iDaters ever had a girl falsely advertise her goods and show up 25-50 lbs overweight? What's the shark move here? Happened to a friend of mine the other day. I ran into him at a bar and asked who the fatty was. He was too nice of a guy to blow her off but I would've bounced like a bad check. He showed me a pic of her and she was easily a 9 on the offdee scale (probably a pic from 10 years ago). I told him I'd be pissed and at least confront her.

All too common. You can always be suspicious of the fatty angles but sometimes you're going to land a whopper no matter how careful you are. Best to keep Christo on speed dial. She obviously knows she's lying to guys so she has low self esteem about her current appearance. If you're into the porkers it's an easy lay. If you're not into 'em it's not the end of the world to have a few drinks together and treat her like a friend. A hour or so and a few drinks later then you bail.

 

[OC Zed]

Have you iDaters ever had a girl falsely advertise her goods and show up 25-50 lbs overweight? What's the shark move here? Happened to a friend of mine the other day. I ran into him at a bar and asked who the fatty was. He was too nice of a guy to blow her off but I would've bounced like a bad check. He showed me a pic of her and she was easily a 9 on the offdee scale (probably a pic from 10 years ago). I told him I'd be pissed and at least confront her.

All too common. You can always be suspicious of the fatty angles but sometimes you're going to land a whopper no matter how careful you are. Best to keep Christo on speed dial. She obviously knows she's lying to guys so she has low self esteem about her current appearance. If you're into the porkers it's an easy lay. If you're not into 'em it's not the end of the world to have a few drinks together and treat her like a friend. A hour or so and a few drinks later then you bail.

Ya, I had this happen to me over the summer. I decided to make the best of the situation and enjoy myself on the date. I ended up drinking a little too much and made the bad decision of inviting her back to my place. I think she probably thought it was odd that I never made a move on her (I started to sober up) and she finally decided to leave on her own. Lesson learned.

 

[Major]

A friend of mine has been using Match recently and posting some of the pick up emails from guys....these are just

How old is your dad? I only ask because if you do have one, I may be around his age range, but I promise not to make it creepy. Will you email me back please? I promise I could get your father's approval if we made it that far.

My name is [deleted to protect his identity]. I am 42 -- I know you have 37 as the age limit for your date, but I REALLY, REALLY hope you can overlook that fact, at least for now And you seem mature, so what's the big deal with 42!!??!?! Am I right little lady?

still at this guy's schtick:

Hello I'm Garnett your future ex-husband, just letting you know I am keeping the dog and house in Hawaii. And that itch down there didn't come from me.

Good luck with that opener Garnett!

 

[EYLive]

One strange thing I've noticed when exchanging emails. When the email from the girl is fun, upbeat and bubbly, they tend to be the opposite in person. It's like they spend all their whit and energy on a fun email and have nothing to offer in a face-to-face date. Maybe they have time to carefully construct their messages but can't think on their feet in real time.

On the flip side, the emails that are short and cut right to the chase about setting up a date tend to be more light hearted and have a better sense of humon in person.

I can't explain it. Just my experience in my small sample of on-line correspondence.

 

[rundave]

I paid for a subscription on eHarmony about a week ago (after calling customer service, they offered 3 months for $60). I am pleasantly surprised so far.Positives:--The guided communication is nice. It's like dating foreplay. If I am willing to initiate communication, I am already very inclined to go out with her for a first date. But the question process is good to get to know someone better ahead of time and it can also serve to weed out the total wackos. And now I actually look forward to writing that first e-mail because you have a little bit more to work with than you otherwise would. Essentially, the e-mail is no longer like a cold sales pitch. --The overall caliber of women is better than on match.com. I'd like to find someone that I can eventually date long-term, so it's great not having to weed through so many casual daters and skanks that are on match or the other dating sites. I'd say the ratio of serious vs. casual daters on eHarmony is about 5:1. And there are more than enough chicks on eHarmony that are willing to date guys with a kid - this was my major gripe with match.com. Also, not surprisingly, you are much more likely to find smart women with good careers on eHarmony which is a big attraction for me.--Women are much more likely to initiate communication. This is awesome. Ya, I got some dogs thrown my way, but I also got a couple candidates with good potential inquiring me - in only one week's time. I only had one chick contact me on match.com in 9 months that I was willing to see on a date and she turned out to be a total oddball (there were others that were decent, but lived too far away). Negatives:--Clunky interface. It would be great to be able to remove chicks from your queue en masse instead of the site's clumsy two-step process for closing matches one chick at a time. --No photos on the "My Matches" screen. I understand the reason behind this - they want you to see the person's total profile before you make a judgment on them. Realistically though, someone with the best profile isn't going to make me want to date them if they are not my type at all visually. I still haven't met any of these chicks in person and I need a longer sample period to see how successful I am in meeting the chicks that I initiate communication with, but I like this change of pace.

My experience has been the complete opposite. I have gotten ZERO responses so far. I joined a couple of months ago. I have sent about 25 matches, all in the local area, and haven't had one response. One viewed my profile like 9 times but didn't respond. Granted that is only about 5% of my matches. Everything I read says start with the 5 questions but everyone I talk to says to go straight to email. People tell me I am good looking and nice and I have a great body but I have gotten no interest on the site. So it is very frustrating. I think I get more interest just out and about but I wan't us to know each a little about each other before asking someone out. My profile was a little weak a first but I've tweaked it and I think it's pretty good now. I don't have many good pictures. I can't believe they will not answer 5 multiple choice questions. I have been impressed with the quality but it's like these women are still looking for Mr. Right even though they are single well into their 30's (I am 41).

 

[Dexter Manley]

A friend of mine has been using Match recently and posting some of the pick up emails from guys....these are just

How old is your dad? I only ask because if you do have one, I may be around his age range, but I promise not to make it creepy. Will you email me back please? I promise I could get your father's approval if we made it that far.

 

[Disco Stu]

A friend of mine has been using Match recently and posting some of the pick up emails from guys....these are just

How old is your dad? I only ask because if you do have one, I may be around his age range, but I promise not to make it creepy. Will you email me back please? I promise I could get your father's approval if we made it that far.

 

[Disco Stu]

A friend of mine has been using Match recently and posting some of the pick up emails from guys....these are just

How old is your dad? I only ask because if you do have one, I may be around his age range, but I promise not to make it creepy. Will you email me back please? I promise I could get your father's approval if we made it that far.

My name is [deleted to protect his identity]. I am 42 -- I know you have 37 as the age limit for your date, but I REALLY, REALLY hope you can overlook that fact, at least for now And you seem mature, so what's the big deal with 42!!??!?! Am I right little lady?

still at this guy's schtick:

Hello I'm Garnett your future ex-husband, just letting you know I am keeping the dog and house in Hawaii. And that itch down there didn't come from me.

Good luck with that opener Garnett!

This is why online dating is so easy

 

[EYLive]

I'm gonna try to land a date via Yelp. Lots of hot chicks that like to eat.

 

[OC Zed]

I'm gonna try to land a date via Yelp. Lots of hot chicks that like to eat.

 

[OC Zed]

I paid for a subscription on eHarmony about a week ago (after calling customer service, they offered 3 months for $60). I am pleasantly surprised so far.Positives:--The guided communication is nice. It's like dating foreplay. If I am willing to initiate communication, I am already very inclined to go out with her for a first date. But the question process is good to get to know someone better ahead of time and it can also serve to weed out the total wackos. And now I actually look forward to writing that first e-mail because you have a little bit more to work with than you otherwise would. Essentially, the e-mail is no longer like a cold sales pitch. --The overall caliber of women is better than on match.com. I'd like to find someone that I can eventually date long-term, so it's great not having to weed through so many casual daters and skanks that are on match or the other dating sites. I'd say the ratio of serious vs. casual daters on eHarmony is about 5:1. And there are more than enough chicks on eHarmony that are willing to date guys with a kid - this was my major gripe with match.com. Also, not surprisingly, you are much more likely to find smart women with good careers on eHarmony which is a big attraction for me.--Women are much more likely to initiate communication. This is awesome. Ya, I got some dogs thrown my way, but I also got a couple candidates with good potential inquiring me - in only one week's time. I only had one chick contact me on match.com in 9 months that I was willing to see on a date and she turned out to be a total oddball (there were others that were decent, but lived too far away). Negatives:--Clunky interface. It would be great to be able to remove chicks from your queue en masse instead of the site's clumsy two-step process for closing matches one chick at a time. --No photos on the "My Matches" screen. I understand the reason behind this - they want you to see the person's total profile before you make a judgment on them. Realistically though, someone with the best profile isn't going to make me want to date them if they are not my type at all visually. I still haven't met any of these chicks in person and I need a longer sample period to see how successful I am in meeting the chicks that I initiate communication with, but I like this change of pace.

My experience has been the complete opposite. I have gotten ZERO responses so far. I joined a couple of months ago. I have sent about 25 matches, all in the local area, and haven't had one response. One viewed my profile like 9 times but didn't respond. Granted that is only about 5% of my matches. Everything I read says start with the 5 questions but everyone I talk to says to go straight to email. People tell me I am good looking and nice and I have a great body but I have gotten no interest on the site. So it is very frustrating. I think I get more interest just out and about but I wan't us to know each a little about each other before asking someone out. My profile was a little weak a first but I've tweaked it and I think it's pretty good now. I don't have many good pictures. I can't believe they will not answer 5 multiple choice questions. I have been impressed with the quality but it's like these women are still looking for Mr. Right even though they are single well into their 30's (I am 41).

My hunch at your lack of success stems from a poor profile (at least initially) and that you are going for chicks that are too young for you. In terms of your profile, make sure you don't have any cheeze indicators... i.e., any photos of you with your shirt off (particularly in front of a mirror... well, any photos you took yourself really), photos of you in front of your car, cheezeball lines like how "you work hard and play hard," etc. With regard to age, I suspect that there are a lot of women in their 30s still clinging to the notion of having their own family still and a guy who is already in his 40s might be too much of a psychological barrier. Maybe tighten up your age range from 37 - 45? Also, are you sure that your other profile settings are not too limiting... such as race, religion, education, salary, etc.?As for me, my communication with a bunch of chicks has stalled for whatever reason. I am getting the impression that this can be a really slow process, which is understandable. If you go through all of these steps to finally meet someone in person, I imagine that you are not that gung-ho over dating multiple people at once. Although the odds for dudes are better on eHarmony, you have to figure that any attractive chick still has multiple guys contacting her on a weekly basis.

 

[Major]

OK, I've got one going that is being fairly aggressive. She contacted me first (no big deal), but after only a few emails has asked me out.She has asked to Google chat, Yahoo chat, Facetime, to which I have declined while at work, and have been busy in the evenings.She is a little above average looking, but is this a red flag? We both live in small towns, and I understand how hard it can be to meet new people in our situations, but this is almost coming off as a little desperate. She is a new user on POF, so maybe she just got out of a relationship. Who knows.

She's probably psycho. As long as she doesn't know where you live you should be in the clear once you stop calling her back.

 

[OC Zed]

OK, I've got one going that is being fairly aggressive. She contacted me first (no big deal), but after only a few emails has asked me out.She has asked to Google chat, Yahoo chat, Facetime, to which I have declined while at work, and have been busy in the evenings.She is a little above average looking, but is this a red flag? We both live in small towns, and I understand how hard it can be to meet new people in our situations, but this is almost coming off as a little desperate. She is a new user on POF, so maybe she just got out of a relationship. Who knows.

She's probably psycho. As long as she doesn't know where you live you should be in the clear once you stop calling her back.

It's possibly she's psycho, but it's also possible that she just isn't used to the POF setup. Asking someone out after a couple e-mails on match.com isn't really a big issue (I think most of the chicks I went out with on that site did the same)... but it would probably be odd on another site (e.g., eHarmony). I say he should meet her for a drink to get a sense of what she's like in person. 90% of the time the craziness will reveal itself within the first 20 minutes.