Not sure if anybody noticed I was gone since the beginning of December.
It was because of this very topic. My 2nd attempt in 4 years. I was isolating myself, was overwhelmed with stress at work and never dealt with my sister's death a couple of months ago. Took a lot of Tylenol. Not a way to die. Very ugly and painful.
Ended up in the Hospital for 7 days, then in the pysch ward for another 7 days. Where, after many long talks, a great doctor diagnosed me with Bi-Polar and got me on Lithium, which has been great. Really has stabilized me.
And the last couple of weeks, I have been in a partial hospitalization group therapy (6 Hours a day Monday-Saturday). It has been pretty helpful. I am now moving to a less intensive therapy (3 hours for Mon-Thurs) starting tomorrow
I can never undo the pain I have caused my family and friends. My kids are talking to me at least, but I know they are still pissed at me. I have a lot of work to repair that relationship.
And I have a lot of sh** I need to do to fix my own life. Lot of the stuff I need to do is pretty effen scary, but I feel hope. It can work.
I have been trying to avoid my various sites because I need to work on my real life relationships and not be so much online. But for some reason I logged on here and saw the thread. So I told my story. I will disappear again for a while, but will be back for the 2014 Summer T-Shirt exchange if not sooner.
I will check PM's every other day in case somebody wants to talk about depression, Mental Illness or Suicide. I have been there and it is not worth it
And Curlynight, thanks for the link, I will check it out
Take care all
