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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (5 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Epic Problem
Footballguy
I also woke up this morning on a friend’s couch. No recollection of how I ended up there. Phone was dead. I did the walk of shame home. Once I got back to stately Epic Manor, Mrs Epic was epically upset with me. It appears that I never told her that I wasn’t coming home.
Epic Problem
Footballguy
Once phone easy recharged, this was read
When you get this (and if nothing bad has happened to you) please know I am disappointed. No desire to get into it when you re appear but I think you know i would never not come home without a text or a call. That along with the fact that I specifically asked you to behave in light of today's events etc. Think it may be best if you do your friend thing on your own and give me a little time to have a few drinks and a better attitude toward you. We can meet up later at (insert cousin’s name here) thing. Love you very much, just dont like how I'm feeling.
When you get this (and if nothing bad has happened to you) please know I am disappointed. No desire to get into it when you re appear but I think you know i would never not come home without a text or a call. That along with the fact that I specifically asked you to behave in light of today's events etc. Think it may be best if you do your friend thing on your own and give me a little time to have a few drinks and a better attitude toward you. We can meet up later at (insert cousin’s name here) thing. Love you very much, just dont like how I'm feeling.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
So now you’re posting this here to leave a supporting trail of posts for when she finds out this friend is a nymphomaniac supermodel with a fetish for whiskey/egg farts? Smart.
Epic Problem
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
I don’t want to be a downer, but it sounds a bit like you may have a smidge of a drinking problem.
Epic Problem
Footballguy
Epic Problem
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
I bet you could channel the extra money and time from quitting into really expensive prostitutes. Sex addiction feels way better. Plus you remember it the next day.
RC94
Footballguy
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
I remember the local video store letting me rent Bachelor Party in 5th grade
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
krista4
Footballguy
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mr. furley
Footballguy
if i failed to come home one night she'd just change the locks and that would be that.
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Henry Ford
Footballguy
Ignoramus
Footballguy
Mine is caught completely off-guard EVERY TIME when the server asks what she'd like to drink.
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Mine gets that deer in the headlights look anytime she has to order an alcoholic beverage with no drink menu
strykerpks
Footballguy
I've gotten a version of this text before. Shocking, I know right? They forgive. But they don't forget. Godspeed
I also see Krista has addressed the big fat elephant in that text.
El Floppo
Footballguy
My wife is probably more decisive and capable than me regarding most things, so I can't really empathize. But if #### isn't the exact thing she wants and exactly how she wants it, everything is ruined. Getting stuff at a bar or restaurant on the fly or for shirts and giggles isn't happening. So if we're looking fo a random spot, the menu is poured over for exactly the right thing before going in.
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Wife has been gone at a hair appointment for probably two or three hours and I’m guessing It’s going to cost at least $150 and I just got a text that says “I hate my hair” 
Oh well at least she didn’t have to fly to New York for it. @Chemical X
Oh well at least she didn’t have to fly to New York for it. @Chemical X
El Floppo
Footballguy
You could have her stay home, mail me $50 to NY and I'll text you to say it's hideous. Win/win.Wife has been gone at a hair appointment for probably two or three hours and I’m guessing It’s going to cost at least $150 and I just got a text that says “I hate my hair”
Oh well at least she didn’t have to fly to New York for it. @Chemical X
mr. furley
Footballguy
pfft, mine spends $100 to get a haircut.. then comes home and "fixes it" for at least an hour with her own salon scissors.Wife has been gone at a hair appointment for probably two or three hours and I’m guessing It’s going to cost at least $150 and I just got a text that says “I hate my hair”
Oh well at least she didn’t have to fly to New York for it. @Chemical X
mr. furley
Footballguy
this too
she gets the same item at any restaurant we have been to more than once. she picks something the first time and never varies ever after. but still.... every time we go back..... 20, 30, 40 minutes mulling the options.... turning away the server a couple times.... then finally steps up and "uhh..... you know, i'm not sure.................. (awkward silence for several minutes)......... i'll just have (the same thing i always have)"
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
My wife almost always ends up wanting what I ordered.
I'm fairly protective of my food and not a good "sharer" when it comes to my restaurant meals. So it becomes a bit of a pout and complain from her while asking for yet another bite and how good it is - and how she should have ordered it.
I have suggested that she order what I order for over 30 years now.
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DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
my wife rarely has her hair done, a simple trim is all. hell, sometimes i do it.
we often tell the waiter to bring us whatever is the best thing in the restaurant. otherwise, quick decisive orders. a lot of the time, we share 2-3 apps and one entree.
i am the one, when faced with a huge ###### menu, i am often stumped by too many choices, none of them appealing. think cheesecake factory style menu (we never eat there) but that style. everything from eggs benedict to kung pao shrimp and everything between. in my mind, i think that none of it must be good. or that fresh. :X
we often tell the waiter to bring us whatever is the best thing in the restaurant. otherwise, quick decisive orders. a lot of the time, we share 2-3 apps and one entree.
i am the one, when faced with a huge ###### menu, i am often stumped by too many choices, none of them appealing. think cheesecake factory style menu (we never eat there) but that style. everything from eggs benedict to kung pao shrimp and everything between. in my mind, i think that none of it must be good. or that fresh. :X
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Yep she’s gonna have a different stylist fix itWife has been gone at a hair appointment for probably two or three hours and I’m guessing It’s going to cost at least $150 and I just got a text that says “I hate my hair”
Oh well at least she didn’t have to fly to New York for it. @Chemical X
Zegras11
Footballguy
So we've now spent a MONTH deciding on the color of new hardwood flooring. (While not having a master bathroom to use)
The rep has been to our place twice with samples. Four times we have been to their showroom and brought home samples. Nothing matches our cherry cabinets.
It's total insanity. On the fourth and last visit to the showroom Thursday, we had half of the showroom floor strewn with samples and she brought in our kitchen cutting board because the end of the piece matches our cabinets. And she still couldn't decide. To be fair, we had decided FOUR times before and she changed her mind.
So I just gave up. I found a nice, comfortable chair and plopped myself down and asked them if they had any alcohol. They gave me a beer. Then they said they needed a beer also and joined me. We all threatened to make her take shots until she decided. Ten minutes later, I signed the contract.
The rep has been to our place twice with samples. Four times we have been to their showroom and brought home samples. Nothing matches our cherry cabinets.
It's total insanity. On the fourth and last visit to the showroom Thursday, we had half of the showroom floor strewn with samples and she brought in our kitchen cutting board because the end of the piece matches our cabinets. And she still couldn't decide. To be fair, we had decided FOUR times before and she changed her mind.
So I just gave up. I found a nice, comfortable chair and plopped myself down and asked them if they had any alcohol. They gave me a beer. Then they said they needed a beer also and joined me. We all threatened to make her take shots until she decided. Ten minutes later, I signed the contract.
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Rustoleum
Footballguy
Worked all day swapping out old washer/dryer for a like-new set my sister’s friend was selling. Got all that settled, have an empty house, and sat down to watch the game. Phone rings and it is somebody wanting to come get our old dryer. Hang up and head back to the couch (I pace around when I’m on the phone), to find the puppy has knocked over my Yuengling (had to buy it because it just became available this week) and nearly drowned two iPads and every conceivable remote in the house.
Switching to bourbon. This could potentially turn out to be a point in the dog’s favor, but right now the end table and the floor reek of Pledge and beer, so I’m still aggravated.
Switching to bourbon. This could potentially turn out to be a point in the dog’s favor, but right now the end table and the floor reek of Pledge and beer, so I’m still aggravated.
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Try tripping anyone wearing a stupid hatProfessional drunks like the ones in this thread know better than to go out on NYE or St. Patrick's Day. Too any amateurs. But here I am.
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
Cherry Cabinets was the name of the first girl to give me a handjob. It happened behind the Wood Shop classroom.
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
kevzilla
Footballguy
Rustoleum
Footballguy
Three hours on Saturday during March Madness is all day.
Had to pick them up, get them home, yadda yadda yadda, disconnect the old stuff, scrape 13 years of clothing tags and old pennies off the floor, etc., run an empty load to make sure it was all working, etc.
The real delay was that my dryer hookup is a 3-prong, and the new one had a 4 prong. Would have been easy to swap the cords except whoever put the 4 prong cord on had way overtightened one of the wire connections, to the point where the threaded nut on the back was broken loose, and stripped, which made it ridiculously complicated to remove and reattach to the other cord.
My grandpa would have had that done in an hour, and probably drank 3 PBR’s. My dad would have taken 2 hours, counting at least 1 trip to the hardware store with no beer. Took me 3 hours, but I fixed it with stuff from my own workbench and have moved onto the bourbon stage of the day. My 16 year old son would probably be fine with never washing clothes at all.
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
Rustoleum
Footballguy
Zegras11
Footballguy
Wood Shop was the best class ever. Our Mr Freeman had a lisp and we all imitated him during class. And when it was our week to be on clean up crew, we'd quickly make several wooden hockey pucks and shoot them all over class while trying to clean.
Rustoleum
Footballguy
Don’t have to make the grueling 5 minute trip across the river any more. They just started distributing in KY this week. Probably will diminish the appeal, truth be told.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
