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General Malaise

By General Malaise,
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General Malaise

General Malaise 28,114

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44 minutes ago, McJose said:

The ones without hairy pits.

You'd be surprised at the bevy of pulchritude in Portland these days.  As the rest of the country flocks here, they have brought with them traditions and customs that are favorable to the male eye. 

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McJose

McJose 9,395

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14 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

You'd be surprised at the bevy of pulchritude in Portland these days.  As the rest of the country flocks here, they have brought with them traditions and customs that are favorable to the male eye. 

God darnit, Mr. Malaise, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

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Thorn

Thorn 3,050

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On 3/20/2018 at 1:03 PM, -fish- said:

We only had middle-aged men that liked to watch boys shower.  

Careful, jokes like this are how we lost nipsey.

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tommyboy

tommyboy 4,629

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Posted (edited)
21 hours ago, General Malaise said:

You'd be surprised at the bevy of pulchritude in Portland these days.  As the rest of the country flocks here, they have brought with them traditions and customs that are favorable to the male eye. 

Oh BS. They sent they're ugliest fattest hairiest here and kept the hot ones. If your wife is above a 6 in this city you hit a home run

Edited by tommyboy
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-fish-

-fish- 14,479

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1 hour ago, Thorn said:

 

On 3/20/2018 at 10:03 AM, -fish- said:

We only had middle-aged men that liked to watch boys shower.  

Careful, jokes like this are how we lost nipsey.

 

Unfortunately, not a joke.   Our PE teachers were creepy AF.

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General Malaise

General Malaise 28,114

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3 minutes ago, tommyboy said:

Oh BS. They sent they're ugliest fastest hairiest here and kept the hot ones. If your wife is above a 6 in this city you hit a home run

:shrug:

Last Blazer game I went to, there were hot girls a plenty.  Been a Ducks game recently?  Those co-eds and cheerleaders are pretty hot.  Went to a nude bar with my cousin last month.  He lives in the Bay Area and was astounded by the hot chicks dancing.  Hell, check out the new BG Food Cartell on a nice afternoon.  No shortage of hot there either.  

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Dan Lambskin

Dan Lambskin 13,749

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This is my dinner tonight

MENU

1ST COURSE:
Bacon-Wrapped Stuffed Jalapeno Popper
Goat Cheese, Apple Wood Smoked
Beer Pairing: Train Hopper
6.9% IPA, Grapefruit, Orange, Balanced

2ND COURSE:
Cheddar Ale Soup
Vermont Cheddar, Karl's Amber Ale
Beer Pairing: Karl's Amber Ale
6% Lightly Hopped Amber Ale

3RD COURSE:
Ahi Tuna Poke 
Wild Caught Sushi Grade, Citrus Salad
Beer Pairing: Royal Rumble
9.5% Imperial Red with Blood Oranges

4TH COURSE: 
Spicy Pork Belly
White Bean Cakes, Onion, Fresno Jam 
Beer Pairing: Big Doedish
10% Double IPA, West Coast Style 

5TH COURSE: 
Lamb Lollipop
Lemon Risotto, Fig Chutney
Beer Pairing: Figgie Smalls
12.2% Belgian Quad with Figs 

6TH COURSE:
Bread Pudding Parfait 
Beer Pairing: Bourbon Barrel Traxx Night Fury 
13.5% Imperial Stout, Brewed with Vanilla Bean, Cocoa Nibs, Coconut, & Peanut Butter, Aged in Bourbon Barrels

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tommyboy

tommyboy 4,629

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Jesus dude you need to get out more. Troll around downtown or the east side and check out the milfs on display. It's a literal horror show. The good news is after you take a hit off her bong she'll give you a handy in her sidewalk sleeping bag that she calls home. The bad news is you'll probably die from leprosy

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Epic Problem

Epic Problem 2,778

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24 minutes ago, -fish- said:

Unfortunately, not a joke.   Our PE teachers were creepy AF.

Lived it. Our guy stood in the doorway of the shower and just gawked at each 7th / 8th grade kid. Then gave each one a once over has he handed them a postage stamp sized towel that was the color of Donald Trump's skin as they left the shower.

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Hawks64

Hawks64 2,484

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38 minutes ago, Dan Lambskin said:

This is my dinner tonight

MENU

1ST COURSE:
Bacon-Wrapped Stuffed Jalapeno Popper
Goat Cheese, Apple Wood Smoked
Beer Pairing: Train Hopper
6.9% IPA, Grapefruit, Orange, Balanced

2ND COURSE:
Cheddar Ale Soup
Vermont Cheddar, Karl's Amber Ale
Beer Pairing: Karl's Amber Ale
6% Lightly Hopped Amber Ale

3RD COURSE:
Ahi Tuna Poke 
Wild Caught Sushi Grade, Citrus Salad
Beer Pairing: Royal Rumble
9.5% Imperial Red with Blood Oranges

4TH COURSE: 
Spicy Pork Belly
White Bean Cakes, Onion, Fresno Jam 
Beer Pairing: Big Doedish
10% Double IPA, West Coast Style 

5TH COURSE: 
Lamb Lollipop
Lemon Risotto, Fig Chutney
Beer Pairing: Figgie Smalls
12.2% Belgian Quad with Figs 

6TH COURSE:
Bread Pudding Parfait 
Beer Pairing: Bourbon Barrel Traxx Night Fury 
13.5% Imperial Stout, Brewed with Vanilla Bean, Cocoa Nibs, Coconut, & Peanut Butter, Aged in Bourbon Barrels

:wub:

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Epic Problem

Epic Problem 2,778

Posted
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39 minutes ago, Dan Lambskin said:

This is my dinner tonight

MENU

1ST COURSE:
Bacon-Wrapped Stuffed Jalapeno Popper
Goat Cheese, Apple Wood Smoked
Beer Pairing: Train Hopper
6.9% IPA, Grapefruit, Orange, Balanced

2ND COURSE:
Cheddar Ale Soup
Vermont Cheddar, Karl's Amber Ale
Beer Pairing: Karl's Amber Ale
6% Lightly Hopped Amber Ale

3RD COURSE:
Ahi Tuna Poke 
Wild Caught Sushi Grade, Citrus Salad
Beer Pairing: Royal Rumble
9.5% Imperial Red with Blood Oranges

4TH COURSE: 
Spicy Pork Belly
White Bean Cakes, Onion, Fresno Jam 
Beer Pairing: Big Doedish
10% Double IPA, West Coast Style 

5TH COURSE: 
Lamb Lollipop
Lemon Risotto, Fig Chutney
Beer Pairing: Figgie Smalls
12.2% Belgian Quad with Figs 

6TH COURSE:
Bread Pudding Parfait 
Beer Pairing: Bourbon Barrel Traxx Night Fury 
13.5% Imperial Stout, Brewed with Vanilla Bean, Cocoa Nibs, Coconut, & Peanut Butter, Aged in Bourbon Barrels

Thanks for the invite, but I have a magic baseball draft tonight

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Bob Sacamano

Bob Sacamano 10,384

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1 hour ago, tommyboy said:

The good news is after you take a hit off her bong she'll give you a handy in her sidewalk sleeping bag that she calls home. The bad news is you'll probably die from leprosy

You got an intersection on this one or what?

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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,943

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1 hour ago, tommyboy said:

Jesus dude you need to get out more. Troll around downtown or the east side and check out the milfs on display. It's a literal horror show. The good news is after you take a hit off her bong she'll give you a handy in her sidewalk sleeping bag that she calls home. The bad news is you'll probably die from leprosy

at this point i'm not saying no

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Ignoramus

Ignoramus 5,794

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33 minutes ago, berndog said:

Updating my resume for the first time in 8+ years.  I should have done it sooner but on the bright side it does help me keep it condensed as I've forgotten many things I've accomplished.

It had better not be more than one #######ed page long unless you've split the atom and have been published in Good Housekeeping.

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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,943

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wears a fitbit, has a smartphone on them at all times, owns an iPad, sometimes swaps out the fitbit for an Apple watch, has 3 smart TV's in the house, a smart refrigerator, Alexa engaged at all times, orders their groceries on Amazon, uses Gmail or Yahoo email, browses internet forums, signs up for every restaurant rewards club in their area, has 4 department store credit cards, pays a car loan, has a mortgage....................... thinks it's time to delete Facebook because it's mining too much of their personal data.

:shrug:

 

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Dan Lambskin

Dan Lambskin 13,749

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9 minutes ago, mr. furley said:

wears a fitbit, has a smartphone on them at all times, owns an iPad, sometimes swaps out the fitbit for an Apple watch, has 3 smart TV's in the house, a smart refrigerator, Alexa engaged at all times, orders their groceries on Amazon, uses Gmail or Yahoo email, browses internet forums, signs up for every restaurant rewards club in their area, has 4 department store credit cards, pays a car loan, has a mortgage....................... thinks it's time to delete Facebook because it's mining too much of their personal data.

:shrug:

 

Furleys Wife?

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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,943

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1 minute ago, Sammy3469 said:

Can't be since we all know Furley is the one in the family with 4 department store credit cards.

how else do you suppose i get all those Gordman's bucks, guy?

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Sammy3469

Sammy3469 10,426

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, mr. furley said:

how else do you suppose i get all those Gordman's bucks, guy?

I had to teh Google Gordman's...actually actually true.  

 

Edited by Sammy3469
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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,943

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3 minutes ago, Sammy3469 said:

I had to teh Google Gordman's...actually actually true.  

 

popped up here a couple years back.

basically, if there's a business on the verge of bankruptcy, if it's model is aggregating random cheap goods and selling them at "discount" prices and/or it can dump the unsellable crap and far out of fashion items in this market.... we have that store & within 6 months of its grand opening here, a national story will run about the parent company going out of business and all its stores closing.

:confetti: 

 

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Sammy3469

Sammy3469 10,426

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Just now, mr. furley said:

popped up here a couple years back.

basically, if there's a business on the verge of bankruptcy, if it's model is aggregating random cheap goods and selling them at "discount" prices and/or it can dump the unsellable crap and far out of fashion items in this market.... we have that store & within 6 months of its grand opening here, a national story will run about the parent company going out of business and all its stores closing.

:confetti: 

 

We have Century 21, Saks Down Under, Bloomingdale's Outlet, and Barney's Warehouse for those type of things which all seem more or less stable for the time being.  Speaking of which, I need a new pair of jeans.    

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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,943

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43 minutes ago, Sammy3469 said:

We have Century 21, Saks Down Under, Bloomingdale's Outlet, and Barney's Warehouse for those type of things which all seem more or less stable for the time being.  Speaking of which, I need a new pair of jeans.    

we have mostly payday loan stores, cellphone kiosks in small storefronts, TJ Maxx and Big Lots

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heckmanm

heckmanm 4,532

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1 hour ago, Sammy3469 said:

We have Century 21, Saks Down Under, Bloomingdale's Outlet, and Barney's Warehouse for those type of things which all seem more or less stable for the time being.  Speaking of which, I need a new pair of jeans.    

Do they only sell gold blazers?

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Osaurus

Osaurus 9,405

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3 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

Just purchased four tickets to the Cubs game July 6th.  In the outfield bleachers.  GA.  Any guesses on the total including about 9 layers of taxes and fees?  

Chicago is going to financially ruin me in ways 5 kids have not, isn't it?

 

3 heart attacks?

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