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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (12 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Henry Ford
Footballguy
It’s not fully sliced through, there’s still skin there, I can just see shapes through it.Jeebus, Henry.
I though at first she’d gotten my eye. “Missed it by that much.”
Henry Ford
Footballguy
My wife informs me that tonight, the role of Dan Crenshaw will be played by Henry Ford.
kevzilla
Footballguy
Please consider a trip to the ER. They might be able to scare up a plastic surgeon. That you might need. Seriously.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
krista4
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
It was unbelievably scary at first but now it’s just funny. It sounds worse than it is. If it seals when it clots fully I won’t go to the ER, otherwise I will.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Oh, man, a cow eyelid and I’d have one permanent Clockwork Orange eyelash.
kevzilla
Footballguy
Well, my notebook indicates you are anti-cornhole, so nobody can answer to your face. If it heals in a way that feels weird when it's closed, you might wind up at a plastic surgeon anyway.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Like I said, it didn’t go all the way through. Sort of hoping it looks like Mick cut me.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Can we get a pic of this? How well were you able to clean it? I imagine there is some nasty bacteria in a dog's nail.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
It’s under a gauze eyepatch right now. If it looks terrible when I take it off I’ll post a picture before going to get surgery. But it likely just looks like when you cut yourself shaving the old coin purse.
I used betadine like it was going out of style. It’s clean as a whistle.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Oh, and it was gushing. Like the black knight in Holy Grail. Sort of wish I’d gotten video.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Wife okayed taking a photo, saying, and I quote, “your fake friends are going to think you’re losing an eyeball if you don’t show them. It’s not even as bad as the time your dad shot you in the eye.” Best I could get because, and again I quote, “I’m not taking pictures of you to send to some catfish on the internet.”
Edit
hoto now available exclusively through pornhubThere are two cuts. One above the eye, one on the eyelid. They closed after an hour or so of bleeding. It’ll scar but no big deal.
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psychobillies
Footballguy
Mooooo!
mr. furley
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
It could be a video of "COULD YOU IMAGINE?!?!" doing the Discount Double ##### move to Henry's dog, buuut.....
(Incidentally, Hank just proved if he had a "COULD YOU IMAGINE?!?!?" at his workplace we'd have seen a video of it 3 or 4 years ago.
You had her hoo-ha actually on your eye? Whoa, you guys must be pretty close (and Helen must be incredibly limber for her age).
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
Oh, and not that anyone asked, but the fun seems to perhaps be starting with the Bride of 5-ish again WRT my most recent layoff. Seems we'll be living in a shopping cart under an underpass within a few days unless we can "figure this all out", apparently before we crash tonight.
So, I've got that goin' for me. Which is nice (Narrarator: It really wasn't very nice).
So, I've got that goin' for me. Which is nice (Narrarator: It really wasn't very nice).
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
cosjobs
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
El Floppo
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
In Dillman's Grove my love did die,
and now in ground shall ever lie.
None could ever replace her visage,
until your face brought thoughts of kissage
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
Thanks for the laughs cow lid!
5ish. Thops
fish. How’s her noggin?
5ish. Thops
fish. How’s her noggin?
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
There is no "working this out", sadly. She is a creature driven by fear. After at least a couple of decades of that mindset, I'm afraid that leopard ain't changing spots.El Floppo said:
But thanks.
the rover
Footballguy
Ignoramus
Footballguy
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
It's amazing the things you can learn from a message board.
For instance, Everytime I go into the Politics Forum I'm reminded that politics in our country are probably irreparably broken.
And everytime I go into the Funny Things My Kid Said, I'm reminded that people will laugh at things that aren't funny and that parents think more highly of their kids than everyone else.
For instance, Everytime I go into the Politics Forum I'm reminded that politics in our country are probably irreparably broken.
And everytime I go into the Funny Things My Kid Said, I'm reminded that people will laugh at things that aren't funny and that parents think more highly of their kids than everyone else.
tommyboy
Footballguy
not me, i think as low as possible. that way i 'm never disappointed. Bonus points- i don't yell at coaches, refs and other kids during youth sports games when my little ones aren't scoring every single time on their inevitable march to the pros
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
It may have evolved to 12 weeks for both parents. FMLA
I think the only stipulation when I took it was that I had to be full time.
El Floppo
Footballguy
you're really reading wrong.
first part for sure. but nobody in there is saying anything in there about that second part. they definitely do (myself included) have screwy goggles on about how funny what their kid said or did actually might be to somebody outside of the family, but nobody's posting about thinking highly of their kids there. most of it is stuff about what complete morons our kids are.
eta: first and second parts are about the kids thread. political forum is... well... yeah.
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shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
strykerpks
Footballguy
Pay vs non-pay depends on your employer. Sadly my employer does not pay for FMLA leave.
The FMLA entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and medical reasons with continuation of group health insurance coverage under the same terms and conditions as if the employee had not taken leave.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I ran back to work after the twins were born.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
but, we're broke
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
CA, NY, NJ and RI offer paid FMLA
heckmanm
Footballguy
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Poor wording on my part. And of course parents are going to see their kids differently than everyone else, as it should be. Just...there's a whole lot of stuff in there that would more accurately be "Dumb stuff my kid said" rather than funny.
I don't say that trying to be mean, and there certainly are things in there that are actually funny, it's just that a lot of just...isn't.
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Yeah, and NJ just implemented a new law manadating accumulated sick time for all employees. Which seems like a great idea, but is going to have all sorts of unintended consequences.
Like my friend who owns a restaurant that he just opened a year and a half ago. He's barely making a profit. Having to offer all his workers accumulated sick time is going to force him to either raise prices and very possibly put himself out of business, or get rid of some of the workers to either hire new workers at lower wages or just employ less workers per shift.
Or like my company that has offices in multiple states. Our policy has always been very flexible with sick time. There's no set number of sick days, but as long as you communicate with your boss and don't take advantage, you're good (they also have a bonus for not using any sick days for the year). My company may very well just end up reducing vacation time accrual across the board for everyone to make up for the required 5 days of sick time the state is mandating. Neat.
El Floppo
Footballguy
no worries- and I realized I was being a bit defensive there... and you I don't htink you came across as mean.
thinking more about it now, I think I reacted because there aren't that many threads left with supportiveness, innocence and/or purity without antagonism. a place you can go and just be and hear positive: the sickness/death threads, the trying to have kids (fertility) thread, the dogs are awesome thread... and here. and there. I don't find a lot of it funny- and actually feel a little bad withholding my likes from posts that aren't (conversely, mr ham and his kids always kill me). thinking more- I also reacted because that place mentioned in the same breath as the political forum made gag.
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Very fair. And yeah, they are not even close to being anywhere near the same. Basically opposite issues. One is Mayberry, the other is Thunderdome.El Floppo said:
mr. furley
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
there's an absolutely insufferable ##### at the office who shows up at least an hour late every day. comes and goes as he pleases. takes more vacation/sick days than even the lady who has been here 40 years...all around a pretty entitled guy in general.
we share a building with an outpatient opthalmologist and a lawyer's office that seems to specialize in dealing with the elderly. thus all spots near the main office door are handicapped or reserved for the elderly customers who frequent these two businesses.
only this entitled sack of donuts parks in one of those spots every single day when he rolls up late... because all the available spots are "too far away". he's otherwise able-bodied.. just doesn't want to walk.
i'm going to lay some chunks of metal i found under all 4 of his tires
we share a building with an outpatient opthalmologist and a lawyer's office that seems to specialize in dealing with the elderly. thus all spots near the main office door are handicapped or reserved for the elderly customers who frequent these two businesses.
only this entitled sack of donuts parks in one of those spots every single day when he rolls up late... because all the available spots are "too far away". he's otherwise able-bodied.. just doesn't want to walk.
i'm going to lay some chunks of metal i found under all 4 of his tires
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