GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing

[kevzilla]

Jeebus, Henry. 

[Henry Ford]

Just now, kevzilla said:

Jeebus, Henry. 

It’s not fully sliced through, there’s still skin there, I can just see shapes through it. 

I though at first she’d gotten my eye.  “Missed it by that much.”

[Henry Ford]

My wife informs me that tonight, the role of Dan Crenshaw will be played by Henry Ford. 

[kevzilla]

1 minute ago, Henry Ford said:

It’s not fully sliced through, there’s still skin there, I can just see shapes through it. 

I though at first she’d gotten my eye.  “Missed it by that much.”

Please consider a trip to the ER. They might be able to scare up a plastic surgeon. That you might need. Seriously. 

[Henry Ford]

Just now, kevzilla said:

Please consider a trip to the ER. They might be able to scare up a plastic surgeon. That you might need. Seriously. 

For the eye, or just my general face?

[krista4]

2 minutes ago, kevzilla said:

Please consider a trip to the ER. They might be able to scare up a plastic surgeon. That you might need. Seriously. 

Transplant a cow eyelid IMO.  

Sorry, Henry, that sounds horrible.

[Henry Ford]

Just now, krista4 said:

Transplant a cow eyelid IMO.  

Sorry, Henry, that sounds horrible.

It was unbelievably scary at first but now it’s just funny.  It sounds worse than it is.  If it seals when it clots fully I won’t go to the ER, otherwise I will. 

[Henry Ford]

Oh, man, a cow eyelid and I’d have one permanent Clockwork Orange eyelash. 

[kevzilla]

1 minute ago, Henry Ford said:

For the eye, or just my general face?

Well, my notebook indicates you are anti-cornhole, so nobody can answer to your face. If it heals in a way that feels weird when it's closed, you might wind up at a plastic surgeon anyway. 

[Henry Ford]

1 minute ago, kevzilla said:

Well, my notebook indicates you are anti-cornhole, so nobody can answer to your face. If it heals in a way that feels weird when it's closed, you might wind up at a plastic surgeon anyway. 

Like I said, it didn’t go all the way through.  Sort of hoping it looks like Mick cut me. 

[shuke]

14 minutes ago, Henry Ford said:

It was unbelievably scary at first but now it’s just funny.  It sounds worse than it is.  If it seals when it clots fully I won’t go to the ER, otherwise I will. 

Can we get a pic of this?  How well were you able to clean it?  I imagine there is some nasty bacteria in a dog's nail.

[Henry Ford]

Just now, shuke said:

Can we get a pic of this?  How well were you able to clean it?  I imagine there is some nasty bacteria in a dog's nail.

It’s under a gauze eyepatch right now.  If it looks terrible when I take it off I’ll post a picture before going to get surgery. But it likely just looks like when you cut yourself shaving the old coin purse.

I used betadine like it was going out of style. It’s clean as a whistle. 

[Henry Ford]

Oh, and it was gushing.  Like the black knight in Holy Grail. Sort of wish I’d gotten video. 

[kevzilla]

Any cut on the head looks even worse than it is, because your blood pressure is fairly high and the blood itself is highly oxygenated. 

[Henry Ford]

2 hours ago, shuke said:

Can we get a pic of this?  How well were you able to clean it?  I imagine there is some nasty bacteria in a dog's nail.

Wife okayed taking a photo, saying, and I quote, “your fake friends are going to think you’re losing an eyeball if you don’t show them.  It’s not even as bad as the time your dad shot you in the eye.” Best I could get because, and again I quote, “I’m not taking pictures of you to send to some catfish on the internet.”

Edit:photo now available exclusively through pornhub

There are two cuts. One above the eye, one on the eyelid.  They closed after an hour or so of bleeding.  It’ll scar but no big deal. 

Edited January 13, 2019 by Henry Ford

[psychobillies]

Mooooo!

[mr. furley]

1 hour ago, Henry Ford said:

Wife okayed taking a photo, saying, and I quote, “your fake friends are going to think you’re losing an eyeball if you don’t show them.  It’s not even as bad as the time your dad shot you in the eye.” Best I could get because, and again I quote, “I’m not taking pictures of you to send to some catfish on the internet.”

https://imgur.com/a/1LkSxM3

There are two cuts. One above the eye, one on the eyelid.  They closed after an hour or so of bleeding.  It’ll scar but no big deal. 

could actually be a beanbag

[Henry Ford]

12 minutes ago, mr. furley said:

could actually be a beanbag

Helen Mirren’s hoo-ha actually. 

[5-ish Finkle]

1 hour ago, mr. furley said:

could actually be a beanbag

It could be a video of "COULD YOU IMAGINE?!?!" doing the Discount Double ##### move to Henry's dog, buuut.....

(Incidentally, Hank just proved if he had a "COULD YOU IMAGINE?!?!?" at his workplace we'd have seen a video of it 3 or 4 years ago.

 

1 hour ago, Henry Ford said:

Helen Mirren’s hoo-ha actually. 

You had her hoo-ha actually on your eye?  Whoa, you guys must be pretty close (and Helen must be incredibly limber for her age).

[5-ish Finkle]

Oh, and not that anyone asked, but the fun seems to perhaps be starting with the Bride of 5-ish again WRT my most recent layoff.  Seems we'll be living in a shopping cart under an underpass within a few days unless we can "figure this all out", apparently before we crash tonight.

So, I've got that goin' for me.  Which is nice (Narrarator: It really wasn't very nice).

 

[Binky The Doormat]

20 minutes ago, 5-ish Finkle said:

Oh, and not that anyone asked, but the fun seems to perhaps be starting with the Bride of 5-ish again WRT my most recent layoff.  Seems we'll be living in a shopping cart under an underpass within a few days unless we can "figure this all out", apparently before we crash tonight.

So, I've got that goin' for me.  Which is nice (Narrarator: It really wasn't very nice).

 

ouch ...hope you get some sleep 5-ish.  

[cosjobs]

12 hours ago, Henry Ford said:

Like I said, it didn’t go all the way through.  Sort of hoping it looks like Mick cut me. 

Keith's much more likely to do that

[Henry Ford]

2 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

Keith's much more likely to do that

Now I want to see Keith Richards as Rocky’s cut man. 

[El Floppo]

9 hours ago, 5-ish Finkle said:

Oh, and not that anyone asked, but the fun seems to perhaps be starting with the Bride of 5-ish again WRT my most recent layoff.  Seems we'll be living in a shopping cart under an underpass within a few days unless we can "figure this all out", apparently before we crash tonight.

So, I've got that goin' for me.  Which is nice (Narrarator: It really wasn't very nice).

 

Ugh. I hope it worked out ok with the wife.

[RC94]

Random poem of the day:

Pointy Bird 
O pointy birds, o pointy pointy, 
Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.

Edited January 13, 2019 by RC94

[Henry Ford]

1 hour ago, RC94 said:

Random poem of the day:

Pointy Bird 
O pointy birds, o pointy pointy, 
Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.

In Dillman's Grove my love did die, 
and now in ground shall ever lie. 
None could ever replace her visage, 
until your face brought thoughts of kissage

[DA RAIDERS]

Thanks for the laughs cow lid!

 

5ish. Thops 

 

fish. How’s her noggin?

[5-ish Finkle]

6 hours ago, El Floppo said:

Ugh. I hope it worked out ok with the wife.

There is no "working this out", sadly.  She is a creature driven by fear.  After at least a couple of decades of that mindset, I'm afraid that leopard ain't changing spots. 

But thanks.

[gianmarco]

Not sure I enjoy anything as much as they enjoy dancing.

[the rover]

8 hours ago, DA RAIDERS said:

Thanks for the laughs cow lid!

 

5ish. Thops 

 

fish. How’s her noggin?

No change.  MRI tomorrow.   

[eoMMan]

4 hours ago, gianmarco said:

Not sure I enjoy anything as much as they enjoy dancing.

All for show. They secretly hate it and wish they continued with school.

[Ignoramus]

On 1/11/2019 at 12:58 PM, DA RAIDERS said:

Fmla allows the father 3 weeks paid leave anytime during the child’s first year. Work must oblige.   I took it, 12 years ago. 

Wait. What?

[GroveDiesel]

It's amazing the things you can learn from a message board.

For instance, Everytime I go into the Politics Forum I'm reminded that politics in our country are probably irreparably broken.

And everytime I go into the Funny Things My Kid Said, I'm reminded that people will laugh at things that aren't funny and that parents think more highly of their kids than everyone else.

[tommyboy]

7 minutes ago, GroveDiesel said:

It's amazing the things you can learn from a message board.

For instance, Everytime I go into the Politics Forum I'm reminded that politics in our country are probably irreparably broken.

And everytime I go into the Funny Things My Kid Said, I'm reminded that people will laugh at things that aren't funny and that parents think more highly of their kids than everyone else.

not me, i think as low as possible.   that way i 'm never disappointed.  Bonus points-  i don't yell at coaches, refs and other kids during youth sports games when my little ones aren't scoring every single time on their inevitable march to the pros

[DA RAIDERS]

4 hours ago, Ignoramus said:

Wait. What?

It may have evolved to 12 weeks for both parents. FMLA  

 

I think the only stipulation when I took it was that I had to be full time.  

[El Floppo]

44 minutes ago, GroveDiesel said:

It's amazing the things you can learn from a message board.

For instance, Everytime I go into the Politics Forum I'm reminded that politics in our country are probably irreparably broken.

And everytime I go into the Funny Things My Kid Said, I'm reminded that people will laugh at things that aren't funny and that parents think more highly of their kids than everyone else.

you're really reading wrong. 

first part for sure. but nobody in there is saying anything in there about that second part. they definitely do (myself included) have screwy goggles on about how funny what their kid said or did actually might be to somebody outside of the family, but nobody's posting about thinking highly of their kids there. most of it is stuff about what complete morons our kids are.

eta: first and second parts are about the kids thread. political forum is... well... yeah.

Edited January 14, 2019 by El Floppo

[shuke]

24 minutes ago, DA RAIDERS said:

It may have evolved to 12 weeks for both parents. FMLA  

 

I think the only stipulation when I took it was that I had to be full time.  

FMLA ensures you get unpaid time off, not paid.

 

[strykerpks]

25 minutes ago, DA RAIDERS said:

It may have evolved to 12 weeks for both parents. FMLA 

I think the only stipulation when I took it was that I had to be full time.  

Pay vs non-pay depends on your employer. Sadly my employer does not pay for FMLA leave.

The FMLA entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and medical reasons with continuation of group health insurance coverage under the same terms and conditions as if the employee had not taken leave.

[General Malaise]

I ran back to work after the twins were born. 

[DA RAIDERS]

18 minutes ago, shuke said:

FMLA ensures you get unpaid time off, not paid.

 

in CA, it is paid.    but, we're broke

[DA RAIDERS]

CA, NY, NJ and RI offer paid FMLA 

[Ignoramus]

Okay, that makes sense. Unpaid leave is the way I've always understood FMLA to be.

[heckmanm]

34 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

I ran back to work after the twins were born. 

So FML didn't mean "Family & Medical Leave" in your case?

[GroveDiesel]

1 hour ago, El Floppo said:

you're really reading wrong. 

first part for sure. but nobody in there is saying anything in there about that second part. they definitely do (myself included) have screwy goggles on about how funny what their kid said or did actually might be to somebody outside of the family, but nobody's posting about thinking highly of their kids there. most of it is stuff about what complete morons our kids are.

eta: first and second parts are about the kids thread. political forum is... well... yeah.

Poor wording on my part. And of course parents are going to see their kids differently than everyone else, as it should be. Just...there's a whole lot of stuff in there that would more accurately be "Dumb stuff my kid said" rather than funny.

I don't say that trying to be mean, and there certainly are things in there that are actually funny, it's just that a lot of just...isn't.

[GroveDiesel]

1 hour ago, DA RAIDERS said:

CA, NY, NJ and RI offer paid FMLA 

Yeah, and NJ just implemented a new law manadating accumulated sick time for all employees. Which seems like a great idea, but is going to have all sorts of unintended consequences.

Like my friend who owns a restaurant that he just opened a year and a half ago. He's barely making a profit. Having to offer all his workers accumulated sick time is going to force him to either raise prices and very possibly put himself out of business, or get rid of some of the workers to either hire new workers at lower wages or just employ less workers per shift.

Or like my company that has offices in multiple states. Our policy has always been very flexible with sick time. There's no set number of sick days, but as long as you communicate with your boss and don't take advantage, you're good (they also have a bonus for not using any sick days for the year). My company may very well just end up reducing vacation time accrual across the board for everyone to make up for the required 5 days of sick time the state is mandating. Neat.

[El Floppo]

4 minutes ago, GroveDiesel said:

Poor wording on my part. And of course parents are going to see their kids differently than everyone else, as it should be. Just...there's a whole lot of stuff in there that would more accurately be "Dumb stuff my kid said" rather than funny.

I don't say that trying to be mean, and there certainly are things in there that are actually funny, it's just that a lot of just...isn't.

no worries- and I realized I was being a bit defensive there... and you I don't htink you came across as mean.

 thinking more about it now, I think I reacted because there aren't that many threads left with supportiveness, innocence and/or purity without antagonism. a place you can go and just be and hear positive: the sickness/death threads, the trying to have kids (fertility) thread, the dogs are awesome thread... and here. and there. I don't find a lot of it funny- and actually feel a little bad withholding my likes from posts that aren't (conversely, mr ham and his kids always kill me). thinking more- I also reacted because that place mentioned in the same breath as the political forum made gag.

[GroveDiesel]

24 minutes ago, El Floppo said:

no worries- and I realized I was being a bit defensive there... and you I don't htink you came across as mean.

 thinking more about it now, I think I reacted because there aren't that many threads left with supportiveness, innocence and/or purity without antagonism. a place you can go and just be and hear positive: the sickness/death threads, the trying to have kids (fertility) thread, the dogs are awesome thread... and here. and there. I don't find a lot of it funny- and actually feel a little bad withholding my likes from posts that aren't (conversely, mr ham and his kids always kill me). thinking more- I also reacted because that place mentioned in the same breath as the political forum made gag.

Very fair. And yeah, they are not even close to being anywhere near the same. Basically opposite issues. One is Mayberry, the other is Thunderdome.

[mr. furley]

On 1/11/2019 at 9:01 AM, arrow1 said:

I didn't think this was thread-worthy, so I'm putting it here.  My BIL's wife just had a baby, and he is taking three weeks of paternity leave.  Is this a thing now?  

it should be a lot, lon

 

ETA: HOLY MOTHER OF ####

[mr. furley]

there's an absolutely insufferable ##### at the office who shows up at least an hour late every day. comes and goes as he pleases. takes more vacation/sick days than even the lady who has been here 40 years...all around a pretty entitled guy in general.

we share a building with an outpatient opthalmologist and a lawyer's office that seems to specialize in dealing with the elderly. thus all spots near the main office door are handicapped or reserved for the elderly customers who frequent these two businesses. 

only this entitled sack of donuts parks in one of those spots every single day when he rolls up late... because all the available spots are "too far away". he's otherwise able-bodied.. just doesn't want to walk.

i'm going to lay some chunks of metal i found under all 4 of his tires

Edited January 14, 2019 by mr. furley

[DA RAIDERS]

@mr fruley you live in a different world than I do. It’s fascinating.