Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
Is it weird that I lay on my stomach ever since I saw Natalie Portman do that in Black Swan?Pretty sure it's me GB.ETACan we get Keerock on this? Am I the weirdo here?I'm the exact opposite of this.
PM Sent
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
GM's thread about nothing (21 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Freudian slip? He's gay.Gender confusion is a terrible thing to deal with, I hear.So I had lunch with a client today. Greek food, really good, it's been a while. I had the combo plate which had some Mousaka, Pastichio & a Dolmade. Oh yeah, I sent her an e-mail this morning to confirm and her reply was that her sister tried to kill herself last night by downing a bottle of Valium. Oh. We'll do it some other time I reply. No, she wanted to go still. At lunch she tells me that her sister's MARRIED boyfriend broke up with her and went back to his wife. She then says her tried to kill himself three times this year. She didn't seem all that concerned about it and I almost said, well, something really inappropriate. I wouldn't have meant it of course but I'm always looking for the laugh. I'm a terrible person.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Besides Cars 2 which we took the boys to last Sunday, Toy Story 3 & Despicable Me, I haven't seen a movie made after 2007. At least.Is it weird that I lay on my stomach ever since I saw Natalie Portman do that in Black Swan?Pretty sure it's me GB.ETACan we get Keerock on this? Am I the weirdo here?I'm the exact opposite of this.
PM Sent
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Took some pics of the new place today. They are available upon PM request.
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
I'm sure the clips are online somewhere. :ky:Besides Cars 2 which we took the boys to last Sunday, Toy Story 3 & Despicable Me, I haven't seen a movie made after 2007. At least.Is it weird that I lay on my stomach ever since I saw Natalie Portman do that in Black Swan?Pretty sure it's me GB.ETACan we get Keerock on this? Am I the weirdo here?I'm the exact opposite of this.
PM Sent
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
***BEST READ IN NORM MCDONALD'S VOICE***
A doctor walks into his office and is surprised to see a new patient sitting on the examination table with a gigantic, round orange head.
"How did this happen?" the doctor says.
"Well, I was on an island beach a few months ago and I found a lamp," the patient said. "I rubbed it and a genie came out, and he said I could have three wishes. So for my first wish, I ask for $30 million dollars. Sure enough, the money appears right there and I'm ecstatic. I'm set for life. Then for my second wish, I ask for the perfect woman, and right then appeared the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. And everything's been great with her, she's perfect in every regard."
The man pauses before continuing. "I think the problem is my third wish, when I asked the genie for a gigantic orange head."
A doctor walks into his office and is surprised to see a new patient sitting on the examination table with a gigantic, round orange head.
"How did this happen?" the doctor says.
"Well, I was on an island beach a few months ago and I found a lamp," the patient said. "I rubbed it and a genie came out, and he said I could have three wishes. So for my first wish, I ask for $30 million dollars. Sure enough, the money appears right there and I'm ecstatic. I'm set for life. Then for my second wish, I ask for the perfect woman, and right then appeared the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. And everything's been great with her, she's perfect in every regard."
The man pauses before continuing. "I think the problem is my third wish, when I asked the genie for a gigantic orange head."
Last edited by a moderator:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
I read that in Norm Macdonald's voice for some reason.
bostonfred
Footballguy
That's around midnight in Alaska, which means it's peak time for the phrase "slap it high".Judging from the 4 AM chicken, GM probably usually has some DNA residue under his fingernailsUpon further review, it is 19 miles and 40 minutes away...little far for a day hike considering there's so much where we are already, no?According to the maps I'm seeing, this is a 2 hour drive from Rock Creek....little help?that was my weak attempt at redneck humor. Bring your own wood, all the BS about not transporting bugs is just that. If you have good dry wood, bring it. Go have a good time. If you want to hike, there's a beautiful mountain lake about 5-6 miles north of there called "Boulder Lake". You take a gravel road a few miles off the main road there, come to a parking area where there's a trailheadmarked off. You climb maybe 1000 feet over the course of 1 mile or so of fairly easy hiking. The lake is beautiful and there's fish in it, and water is clear. On the far side of the lake is a huge cliff, just a solid sheet of granite that apparently broke off, probably 150ft high it frames the lake. Very picturesquewhat, a winch? What's that? I don't have a 4x4 or a gun or a booze...wait, I have that. It's okay to bring wood? There's all these stupid warnings that tell me now too.
gianmarco
Footballguy
Olympia?So I had lunch with a client today. Greek food, really good, it's been a while. I had the combo plate which had some Mousaka, Pastichio & a Dolmade. Oh yeah, I sent her an e-mail this morning to confirm and her reply was that her sister tried to kill herself last night by downing a bottle of Valium. Oh. We'll do it some other time I reply. No, she wanted to go still. At lunch she tells me that her sister's MARRIED boyfriend broke up with her and went back to his wife. She then says her tried to kill himself three times this year. She didn't seem all that concerned about it and I almost said, well, something really inappropriate. I wouldn't have meant it of course but I'm always looking for the laugh. I'm a terrible person.
YSR
Footballguy
Okay, so I either undercooked or overcooked or got the wrong cut of meat, because this was a fail.Mr. YSR decided to take it upon himself to figure this out, and he knocked it out of the park with the following:One 4-5 pound brisket (flat cut is fine)1 t salt1 T black pepper2 dried ancho chiles, seeded and coarsely chopped2 arbol chiles, seeded and coarsely chopped3 garlic cloves1 medium onion, quartered1 T vegetable oil1 dark beer (I used the leftover Dos Equis Amber)Preheat oven to 325. In food processor, combine the onion, garlic, ancho chile and arbol chile. Pulse until chopped small. Add oil and 1/4 cup beer. Process until mixture is nearly smooth.Place brisket fat side down in roasting pan. Season with half of the salt and pepper, then slather on half of the chile and onion mixture. Turn the brisket over and repeat with salt and pepper, chile and onion mix. Pour the rest of the beer around (not on top of) the meat.Cover tightly with foil and put in oven. Roast for one hour, then reduce heat to 275 for the next four hours, or as long as it takes for the meat to "give". Remove from oven and let rest for 30 minutes. Remove fat with spatula, cut brisket into manageable chunks, then shred with two forks.Amazing.
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Extremely
Gadzooks
Footballguy
I'm honestly happy for you.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Spiro's on Watson.Olympia?So I had lunch with a client today. Greek food, really good, it's been a while. I had the combo plate which had some Mousaka, Pastichio & a Dolmade. Oh yeah, I sent her an e-mail this morning to confirm and her reply was that her sister tried to kill herself last night by downing a bottle of Valium. Oh. We'll do it some other time I reply. No, she wanted to go still. At lunch she tells me that her sister's MARRIED boyfriend broke up with her and went back to his wife. She then says her tried to kill himself three times this year. She didn't seem all that concerned about it and I almost said, well, something really inappropriate. I wouldn't have meant it of course but I'm always looking for the laugh. I'm a terrible person.
Last edited by a moderator:
YSR
Footballguy
I was randomly thinking about an old friend the other day. Sweet girl I knew in 2001 when I did a quick stint in Lynchburg, VA. Decided to look her up on the Google today. Turns out, she was an American Idol Top-36 (for those of you who care, she was the one who they brought back after they deemed a chick ineligible two years ago).
When I knew her, she was just about the sweetest, most genuine, and most naive person ever. She's truly beautiful. She had just gotten married and she and her husband were SUPER religious (as in, the first time they kissed was when they got engaged). He was really fit and clean cut at the time; I watched some AI video of her earlier today and that's definitely not the case now.
Weird day.
When I knew her, she was just about the sweetest, most genuine, and most naive person ever. She's truly beautiful. She had just gotten married and she and her husband were SUPER religious (as in, the first time they kissed was when they got engaged). He was really fit and clean cut at the time; I watched some AI video of her earlier today and that's definitely not the case now.
Weird day.
gianmarco
Footballguy
Go try Olympia if you haven't. They've got the same combo, if I'm not mistaken. Yummmm.......Greek.Spiro's on Watson.Olympia?So I had lunch with a client today. Greek food, really good, it's been a while. I had the combo plate which had some Mousaka, Pastichio & a Dolmade. Oh yeah, I sent her an e-mail this morning to confirm and her reply was that her sister tried to kill herself last night by downing a bottle of Valium. Oh. We'll do it some other time I reply. No, she wanted to go still. At lunch she tells me that her sister's MARRIED boyfriend broke up with her and went back to his wife. She then says her tried to kill himself three times this year. She didn't seem all that concerned about it and I almost said, well, something really inappropriate. I wouldn't have meant it of course but I'm always looking for the laugh. I'm a terrible person.
ETA--Momo's is probably my favorite with their Greek tapas.
Last edited by a moderator:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Bang her?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Will do.Go try Olympia if you haven't. They've got the same combo, if I'm not mistaken. Yummmm.......Greek.Spiro's on Watson.Olympia?So I had lunch with a client today. Greek food, really good, it's been a while. I had the combo plate which had some Mousaka, Pastichio & a Dolmade. Oh yeah, I sent her an e-mail this morning to confirm and her reply was that her sister tried to kill herself last night by downing a bottle of Valium. Oh. We'll do it some other time I reply. No, she wanted to go still. At lunch she tells me that her sister's MARRIED boyfriend broke up with her and went back to his wife. She then says her tried to kill himself three times this year. She didn't seem all that concerned about it and I almost said, well, something really inappropriate. I wouldn't have meant it of course but I'm always looking for the laugh. I'm a terrible person.
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Took little Zooks to the zoo today, which was Fun. However, it was very hot and the humidity was ridiculous. As we were walking around the zoo, we were probably in the section that was the most isolated and far from the main attractions. I was sweating like a fat guy walking around the zoo on a really hot day.
Little Zooks informs me that he has to go to potty VERY BADLY. I told him it would take a little while to get to a bathroom so he's gonna need to hold it. He grabs my hand and starts pulling me in the other direction saying he can use this bathroom over here, which was a port-a-potty (the devil's bathroom) I open the door and the stench was like the smell of finding poop in the pants of a man who had been dead for a few days, only it was worse. And it was HOT!!! I couldn't leave him alone in there because he's likely to stick his head in the toilet for fun. I'm just praying he goes quickly. But then I notice he's taking his shirt off which is step 1 of his dumping routine. I nearly starting crying. I grabbed him and told him that I would feed him to the Lions at the zoo before I'd let him poop in this stink box. He started crying and saying his belly really hurt and he really had to poop. So I gave in and allowed the pooping process to continue. I held on to all of his clothes (socks and sneakers have to come off as well) There was no way I would let his naked body touch anything in this torture chamber/stink box, so I held his body above the toilet seat (which was basically just a big hole) while I had his clothes hanging around my neck and arms. The stench was unbearable. He was crying. I couldn't breathe, I think I was starting to lose my vision. All I could think of was that I was going to vomit and pass out at the same while dropping him in the hole. I also wondered if this is how Baby Jessica felt when she was stuck in that well. Then, Little Zooks starting bellowing farts out of his bum and they were majestic. The farts actually made an echo in the torture chamber. We both started laughing and I think that distracted us from the cruel torture we were experiencing. Naturally, there was no toilet paper. Luckily I still had some napkins from Arby's in my pocket (yeah we went there for lunch with some coupons I still had, don't judge me) It was such a relief to get out of that thing.
Other than the port-a-potty incident, the zoo was great. I would pay anything to have my own my monkey. I could watch those wacky guys all day long.
Little Zooks informs me that he has to go to potty VERY BADLY. I told him it would take a little while to get to a bathroom so he's gonna need to hold it. He grabs my hand and starts pulling me in the other direction saying he can use this bathroom over here, which was a port-a-potty (the devil's bathroom) I open the door and the stench was like the smell of finding poop in the pants of a man who had been dead for a few days, only it was worse. And it was HOT!!! I couldn't leave him alone in there because he's likely to stick his head in the toilet for fun. I'm just praying he goes quickly. But then I notice he's taking his shirt off which is step 1 of his dumping routine. I nearly starting crying. I grabbed him and told him that I would feed him to the Lions at the zoo before I'd let him poop in this stink box. He started crying and saying his belly really hurt and he really had to poop. So I gave in and allowed the pooping process to continue. I held on to all of his clothes (socks and sneakers have to come off as well) There was no way I would let his naked body touch anything in this torture chamber/stink box, so I held his body above the toilet seat (which was basically just a big hole) while I had his clothes hanging around my neck and arms. The stench was unbearable. He was crying. I couldn't breathe, I think I was starting to lose my vision. All I could think of was that I was going to vomit and pass out at the same while dropping him in the hole. I also wondered if this is how Baby Jessica felt when she was stuck in that well. Then, Little Zooks starting bellowing farts out of his bum and they were majestic. The farts actually made an echo in the torture chamber. We both started laughing and I think that distracted us from the cruel torture we were experiencing. Naturally, there was no toilet paper. Luckily I still had some napkins from Arby's in my pocket (yeah we went there for lunch with some coupons I still had, don't judge me) It was such a relief to get out of that thing.
Other than the port-a-potty incident, the zoo was great. I would pay anything to have my own my monkey. I could watch those wacky guys all day long.
bentley
Footballguy
Hi, uh, person I don't recognize who apparently knows my ultimate goal in life. Who are you?
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
It's a very Norm-esque joke. I'm going to make a notation on the original post.I read that in Norm Macdonald's voice for some reason.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I can do this. I'll even start it at 11pm so I can take it out of the oven at 4am on a school night and catch a jerk on the couch.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
Why is Timschochet going to be on your couch?:rimshot:I can do this. I'll even start it at 11pm so I can take it out of the oven at 4am on a school night and catch a jerk on the couch.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Taking the boys fishing this weekend on our camping trip.
One question: Do I have to use that little bobber thing? These are trout and bass and maybe some other fish I don't really know how to catch, clean or cook...garr or maybe tuna.
Tell you what, tell me everything you know about fishing and remember, I struggle to tie my shoes, so talk slow like.
One question: Do I have to use that little bobber thing? These are trout and bass and maybe some other fish I don't really know how to catch, clean or cook...garr or maybe tuna.
Tell you what, tell me everything you know about fishing and remember, I struggle to tie my shoes, so talk slow like.
Bogart
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Wife is putting together our Thermos Portable Gas Grill, which has been sitting in our basement ever since I "won" it at an auction for our old pre-school 3 years ago. I kind of mocked her a little that it was man's work to assemble such things. She was offended and is 'showing me'. She just swore and threw something, but refuses to let me pinch hit.
Winning?
Winning?
General Malaise
Footballguy
My wife asked me what was so funny and I almost let her read this, but I'm trying like hell to avoid the combining of worlds that worked out so peach swell with wife 1.0.P and S, love the picture by the llamas' sign that says 'we bite'.
Bogart
Footballguy
My wife reading this site would, well, speed things up I guess. She actually had a login over at RotoJunkie years ago and that about ended the Internet for me.My wife asked me what was so funny and I almost let her read this, but I'm trying like hell to avoid the combining of worlds that worked out so peach swell with wife 1.0.
P and S, love the picture by the llamas' sign that says 'we bite'.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Send her a link?My wife reading this site would, well, speed things up I guess. She actually had a login over at RotoJunkie years ago and that about ended the Internet for me.My wife asked me what was so funny and I almost let her read this, but I'm trying like hell to avoid the combining of worlds that worked out so peach swell with wife 1.0.
P and S, love the picture by the llamas' sign that says 'we bite'.
Bogart
Footballguy
Tempting, but best I do this on a different time table.Send her a link?My wife reading this site would, well, speed things up I guess. She actually had a login over at RotoJunkie years ago and that about ended the Internet for me.My wife asked me what was so funny and I almost let her read this, but I'm trying like hell to avoid the combining of worlds that worked out so peach swell with wife 1.0.
P and S, love the picture by the llamas' sign that says 'we bite'.
gianmarco
Footballguy
You should be fine unless you actually go by Bogart.Tempting, but best I do this on a different time table.Send her a link?My wife reading this site would, well, speed things up I guess. She actually had a login over at RotoJunkie years ago and that about ended the Internet for me.My wife asked me what was so funny and I almost let her read this, but I'm trying like hell to avoid the combining of worlds that worked out so peach swell with wife 1.0.
P and S, love the picture by the llamas' sign that says 'we bite'.
cosjobs
Footballguy
Use a bobber and live bait. Otherwise your kids will drive you crazy. The bobber gives them something to stare at and the live bait gives them a chance of actually catching something. Also the bobber will prevent getting your hook snagged on the bottom about every other cast.There are better ways to fish, but not at this stage of development of the Nesbitt men.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Three straight days over 90 degrees, ten straight over 85. Finally broke tonight with a brief but blustery cloudburst right before I left work.
The last thing I saw
I wasn't quite like the
, but I was pretty amped. We don't get a lot of rainbows around here. Well, we do, but it's usually three feet off the ground, and it's from a fire hydrant that somebody opened up.OK, BL out!
ETA: AUGH - wrong URL
The last thing I saw
I wasn't quite like the
, but I was pretty amped. We don't get a lot of rainbows around here. Well, we do, but it's usually three feet off the ground, and it's from a fire hydrant that somebody opened up.OK, BL out!
ETA: AUGH - wrong URL
Last edited by a moderator:
Mrs. BSR
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
P and S, love the picture by the llamas' sign that says 'we bite'.
Love the Zooks. He'll make Mrs. SLB happy.
My wife saw me checking out the pics page at :e: and asked "are these these the people you hang around with online? Seriously Bob, that's some sick stuff".
First, learn how to tie a knot. It's a lot easier than it looks. You don't have to use a bobber but it will be more entertaining for your boys to watch it move around when a fish starts to take it. It will also teach them the sensation of what it feels like when a fish is on. You are much more likely to catch bigger fish without a bobber however. You won't catch a trout on a bobber, they're very finicky and you need to use 4lb test as such. To catch a bigger bass put a weight about a 18" above the hook, I'm assuming you are using worms, and let it go all the way to the bottom. Crank the reel a couple of times to get it a couple of feet off the bottom and keep the line tight and as vertical as possible. That will be your best bet to catch a bigger bass. If you want to try a much bigger fish, think catfish. Still rig your line the same way as before but just let it rest on the bottom of the lake. Prop up the rod so it is at about 80 degree angle and keep the line tight. Then pop open a beer, smoke a joint or whatever while you wait for the line to move.
Last edited by a moderator:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Our air conditioner broke. Bad. So no air for us tonight. Thankfully my GB knows where he can get a "used"
one tomorrow to install for me. BYE BYE $500!!!!
Last edited by a moderator:
Mrs. BSR
Footballguy
Well, aren't we the fish guru.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Well, aren't we the fish guru.
Before I had kids, alright, before I was married, I fished quite a bit. Wish I had the time. I love anything you can successfully do while buzzed.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
We actually don't have any A/C at the cottage. But we're draped in 40-50 high oak trees, and it's always about 15 degrees colder on the water. But in the city during the day has been brutal. Walk across the street for lunch and come back drenched.
Thorn
Footballguy
Can we get Keerock on this? Am I the weirdo here?I'm the exact opposite of this.
Thorn
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I PMed him. Waiting for a response.ETA. Actually he responded. Waiting to see if he puts it out there though.Can we get Keerock on this? Am I the weirdo here?I'm the exact opposite of this.
Last edited by a moderator:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
It was over a 100 here the past few days so I feel your pain GB.
-fish-
Footballguy
if you're fishing from shore at a stocked lake, you can try the bobber thing, but I wouldn't. for one, the wind blows the bobber and you have to keep recasting. lots of work for a dad that just wants to hang out with the kids and drink a beer or two. most of the lakes are stocked with young rainbows. put some weight about 2 feet from the hook, use powerbait (it floats), and cast. the weight will sit on the bottom, the powerbait will float 2 feet off the bottom, and you just reel until the line has a slight bow, and then lean your pole against the back of a chair or a cooler. if the line straightens out, you have a fish on. kids only like fishing if they catch something. if you look at my facebook page, there's a video of my 6 year old girl learning to cast and holding a rainbow that she caught. she was totally into it all day, because we were catching a fish every 20-30 minutes. she would never have had the patience to stare at a bobber and keep recasting.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Is it... a problem... that Daphne and Velma in the New Scooby Do often jump start a #3 for me.... I mean a guy I know??Besides Cars 2 which we took the boys to last Sunday, Toy Story 3 & Despicable Me, I haven't seen a movie made after 2007. At least.Is it weird that I lay on my stomach ever since I saw Natalie Portman do that in Black Swan?Pretty sure it's me GB.ETACan we get Keerock on this? Am I the weirdo here?I'm the exact opposite of this.
PM Sent
Similar threads
