What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

2nd daughter issue in a year (1 Viewer)

Q

quickhands

Footballguy
Last time it was 5th grade teacher with what i consider inappropriate conduct. This time its a guy i know.

Background: we have attended his christmas party. Fireworks party We occasionally tie boats together on the lake and hang out, kids swim we drink eat swim. We are friendly but I wouldn't call us friends. His daughter and my daughter are good friends.

This guy and wife are at the lakeside bar/restraunt with 2 other couples. The kids about 8 of them all girls around 12years old are at one side of the table parents at the other end of the table. (im not there). Drinking has been going on for a few hours. (Pontoon is transport.

My daughter was going to sleep over at the guys house. She came home instead.

As it was conveyed to me this morning, this happened a few weeks back and its been really bothering her.

One of the girls while talking about what 12 year girls talk about says she is straight. My daughter doesn't know what that means and she asks a loud "am i straight?" The guy says...apparently in a lower voice so that the adults can hear but not the kids "if she was straight I bet she would #### me." My daughter hears this as well as at least a couple of the other girls.....

What's the shark move

Not looking to fight, (but more than willing) my daughter wanted me to know but she's afraid it will hurt her relationship with her friend and the clique.

Do i let it be and just keep her away from him?

Talk to him? Ive always thought he was ok.

Im from the postition that one of the worst thing an older man can do is sexualize his daughter or any girls around that age. They get enough of that and it helps if they can have men see them as people not little women.

(on a side note, i long for the day when i have to deal with 15 or 16 year old dudes, not 40 something men)

 
Last edited by a moderator:
The guy was probably drunk and being an idiot. However, I would call him up, tell him what your daughter told you, and warn him that it was inappropriate and that such behavior can't be tolerated. Most likely he'll either apologize or claim she misheard him.

Then I would sit down with my daughter, and explain that there's a lot of guys out there, no matter what age, who act like inappropriate #######s, and she's going to have to decide, given the specific situation, whether it's best to ignore a remark or call somebody out on it.

 
I would knock on his door and have a conversation. The result of the conversation depends completely on what the guy says.

 
My guess is that they misunderstood what he said. Who would say that among a group of parents, even if it was a joke?

 
jamny said:
My guess is that they misunderstood what he said. Who would say that among a group of parents, even if it was a joke?
Click to expand...
JFC I hope you're right, otherwise I'm not sure how I'd be able to handle this situation.

 
When his kids have an unfortunate reverse cannonball accident, tell him you won't consult your innerweb site and do the opposite of the what the majority thinks. Trust me on this.

 
timschochet said:
The guy was probably drunk and being an idiot. However, I would call him up, tell him what your daughter told you, and warn him that it was inappropriate and that such behavior can't be tolerated. Most likely he'll either apologize or claim she misheard him.

Then I would sit down with my daughter, and explain that there's a lot of guys out there, no matter what age, who act like inappropriate #######s, and she's going to have to decide, given the specific situation, whether it's best to ignore a remark or call somebody out on it.
Click to expand...
His "crime" was to have sex with a promiscuous 13 year old with the body of a 20 year old

 
jamny said:
My guess is that they misunderstood what he said. Who would say that among a group of parents, even if it was a joke?
Click to expand...
yep. Maybe she misunderstood. But any comments close to what quickhands mentioned is way way out of line.

 
Ned said:
jamny said:
My guess is that they misunderstood what he said. Who would say that among a group of parents, even if it was a joke?
Click to expand...
JFC I hope you're right, otherwise I'm not sure how I'd be able to handle this situation.
Click to expand...
I would hope so too, but honestly I don't think it's possible to mis-hear that, given the exchange. ("Am I straight?" "If she was, I bet she'd #### me.") You'd like to give the other dad the benefit of the doubt and assume he's not a completely vile POS, but I can't construct anything innocent in this context that could have been mis-heard as what the OP wrote.

Not sure what I'd do. I want to say that my daughter never goes anywhere near this guy ever again and probably nowhere near any of the other dads who were sitting there listening, but I'm not sure how to accomplish that without socially ostracizing my daughter and thereby making things even worse. Good luck, OP.

 
I would ask one or more of the other adults what he said. If he said what you think he said, he isn't going to admit it so why ask him?

 
timschochet said:
The guy was probably drunk and being an idiot. However, I would call him up, tell him what your daughter told you, and warn him that it was inappropriate and that such behavior can't be tolerated. Most likely he'll either apologize or claim she misheard him.

Then I would sit down with my daughter, and explain that there's a lot of guys out there, no matter what age, who act like inappropriate #######s, and she's going to have to decide, given the specific situation, whether it's best to ignore a remark or call somebody out on it.
Click to expand...
Mostly agree with this but for the last--at 12 I'm not sure I want my little girl getting confrontational with a drunken jerk. I want that for myself.

This:

Worm said:
I would knock on his door and have a conversation. The result of the conversation depends completely on what the guy says.
Click to expand...
...Depending on this:

Grace Under Pressure said:
Ask him and the other parents what was said.
Click to expand...
 
IvanKaramazov said:
Ned said:
jamny said:
My guess is that they misunderstood what he said. Who would say that among a group of parents, even if it was a joke?
Click to expand...
JFC I hope you're right, otherwise I'm not sure how I'd be able to handle this situation.
Click to expand...
I would hope so too, but honestly I don't think it's possible to mis-hear that, given the exchange. ("Am I straight?" "If she was, I bet she'd #### me.") You'd like to give the other dad the benefit of the doubt and assume he's not a completely vile POS, but I can't construct anything innocent in this context that could have been mis-heard as what the OP wrote.

Not sure what I'd do. I want to say that my daughter never goes anywhere near this guy ever again and probably nowhere near any of the other dads who were sitting there listening, but I'm not sure how to accomplish that without socially ostracizing my daughter and thereby making things even worse. Good luck, OP.
Click to expand...
Maybe it wasn't even directed at her comment. He might not have even heard her and was involved in a different conversation.

 
glumpy said:
timschochet said:
The guy was probably drunk and being an idiot. However, I would call him up, tell him what your daughter told you, and warn him that it was inappropriate and that such behavior can't be tolerated. Most likely he'll either apologize or claim she misheard him.

Then I would sit down with my daughter, and explain that there's a lot of guys out there, no matter what age, who act like inappropriate #######s, and she's going to have to decide, given the specific situation, whether it's best to ignore a remark or call somebody out on it.
Click to expand...
Mostly agree with this but for the last--at 12 I'm not sure I want my little girl getting confrontational with a drunken jerk. I want that for myself.

This:

Worm said:
I would knock on his door and have a conversation. The result of the conversation depends completely on what the guy says.
Click to expand...
...Depending on this:

Grace Under Pressure said:
Ask him and the other parents what was said.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
I wouldn't want that either. But I think it's important to let your daughter know, (especially if she's physically attractive and/or mature for her age), that there's going to be a lot of real jerks out there.

 
McGarnicle said:
Once more in English?
Click to expand...
short version.

daughter asks aloud - "am i straight"

dad of 1 of girls, obviously drunk, says to other adults (trying to not have kids hear him) - "if she was straight, i'd bet she'd #### me"

some girls, including daughter, overheard it.

this upset daughter.

OP wants to know if he should kick dudes ###.

 
jfc.

IvanKaramazov said:
Ned said:
jamny said:
My guess is that they misunderstood what he said. Who would say that among a group of parents, even if it was a joke?
Click to expand...
JFC I hope you're right, otherwise I'm not sure how I'd be able to handle this situation.
Click to expand...
I would hope so too, but honestly I don't think it's possible to mis-hear that, given the exchange. ("Am I straight?" "If she was, I bet she'd #### me.") You'd like to give the other dad the benefit of the doubt and assume he's not a completely vile POS, but I can't construct anything innocent in this context that could have been mis-heard as what the OP wrote.

Not sure what I'd do. I want to say that my daughter never goes anywhere near this guy ever again and probably nowhere near any of the other dads who were sitting there listening, but I'm not sure how to accomplish that without socially ostracizing my daughter and thereby making things even worse. Good luck, OP.
Click to expand...
Agree with all of this.... and hoping that this was a bad episode of 3s Company miscommunication.

But if not... agree with keeping daughter away from this creep. Also think a conversation is in order- but first with another adult who was there... to confirm what was said. If said, then serious conversation with the creep.

jfc. I'll make jokes about everything- including this kind of stuff... but only in the abstract. I would never even think about making this kind of comment about a specific kid, especially with her right there.

 
Lay low and acquire more intel, so then you can really catch this predator.

If he really is a pervert, and you make a big deal about it without more substantial proof, then it may scare him into keeping it a better secret.

Don't let your daughter sleepover, but you are going to need to keep hanging out as a family. The next time you pull the boat up wear this shirt, http://www.phatpimpclothing.com/hi/phatpimp/getchrishansen.html

Maybe get a pedobear keychain, and start making comments about hot chicks looking real young. If you can tell he is into that crap then implement phase 2.

Phase 2 requirea you to open a line of communication with him pretending you are your daughter & invite him over to hang out. Make sure you tell him to bring wine coolers, weed, and condoms. When he shows up have your daughter stay far enough back, and say "come on in". Then tackle his a$$ on the pavement.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
She did the right thing by not saying anything to him at the time. I'm glad she told you about it. Tim is right though, as she gets older she will deal with this kind of garbage from guys, usually when drinking is involved but sometimes not. This is one of those unfortunate things you gave to teach her about.

A guy in our theater group said something inappropriate to my 16yo daughter. She asked a friend to help her with her zipper for a costume change and he (about 55yo) said if he were younger he would do it for her. Not a big deal, but still made her uncomfortable in the way old men make teens feel when they try to be cool sexy friends. I called him myself and told him it was inappropriate and made her uncomfortable. I told him to remember his age and jot to get so chatty with the younger girls. He apologized, said he didn't mean to etc. and we never had any problems since. These things happen. People say stupid stuff. Talk to him, talk to get. Help her grow up a little bit with it. It will happen again with other people.

 
quickhands said:
... it helps if they can have men see them as people not little women.
Click to expand...
timschochet said:
The guy was probably drunk and being an idiot. However, I would call him up, tell him what your daughter told you, and warn him that it was inappropriate and that such behavior can't be tolerated. Most likely he'll either apologize or claim she misheard him.

Then I would sit down with my daughter, and explain that there's a lot of guys out there, no matter what age, who act like inappropriate #######s, and she's going to have to decide, given the specific situation, whether it's best to ignore a remark or call somebody out on it.
Click to expand...
:goodposting:

The earlier she understands this, the better.

 
I have Asperger Syndrome and even I wouldn't say something as stupid as that. But I'd still have to post here to figure out what my next move is.

 
Godsbrother said:
I don't even understand what the guy meant by the comment. Is he suggesting that your daughter is a slut?
Click to expand...
Maybe. Or maybe he's bragging to his middle-aged, married guy friends about how sexually appealing he is to 12 year olds.

Either way, I'm not seeing the upside here.

 
spOOfy said:
McGarnicle said:
Once more in English?
Click to expand...
short version.

daughter asks aloud - "am i straight"

dad of 1 of girls, obviously drunk, says to other adults (trying to not have kids hear him) - "if she was straight, i'd bet she'd #### me"

some girls, including daughter, overheard it.

this upset daughter.

OP wants to know if he should kick dudes ###.
Click to expand...
Got it. I wouldn't be someone to give advice here, but good luck.

 
jamny said:
My guess is that they misunderstood what he said. Who would say that among a group of parents, even if it was a joke?
Click to expand...
Gotta go with this unless confirmed. That is a very strange thing to say in front of the parents of 12 year old girls.

 
Something seems off. It could have just been a misunderstanding.

I don't see how the other men he was with (assuming they were the fathers of the other girls there) wouldn't have got into it with this guy either verbally or even physically on the spot? How would the other fathers just sit there "laughing" at some dude talking about one of their 12 year old daughter's friends in a sexual way?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I hope is was misheard, if not...

Who the #### would say that amongst friends? I would be worried about the whole group that was in on the conversation for letting that slide.

 
Dr. Octopus said:
Something seems off. It could have just been an misunderstanding.

I don't see hoe the other men he was with (assuming they were the fathers of the other girls there) wouldn't have got into it with this guy either verbally or even physically on the spot? How would the other fathers sit there "laughing" at some dude talking about one of their 12 year old daughter's friends in a sexual way?
Click to expand...
I agree with this. Exactly what I was thinking about the other parents at the table.

Sounds like a miscommunication, even the comment makes no sense at all. I don't think I'd go over there with the pitch fork and torch just yet.

 
Dr. Octopus said:
Something seems off. It could have just been a misunderstanding.

I don't see how the other men he was with (assuming they were the fathers of the other girls there) wouldn't have got into it with this guy either verbally or even physically on the spot? How would the other fathers just sit there "laughing" at some dude talking about one of their 12 year old daughter's friends in a sexual way?
Click to expand...
Maybe they are all predators too?

 
Dr. Octopus said:
Something seems off. It could have just been a misunderstanding.

I don't see how the other men he was with (assuming they were the fathers of the other girls there) wouldn't have got into it with this guy either verbally or even physically on the spot? How would the other fathers just sit there "laughing" at some dude talking about one of their 12 year old daughter's friends in a sexual way?
Click to expand...
Kind of agree here. Might be more to story.

Either way, I'm having words with this guy ASAP. And I'm bringing a bat.

 
what he said doesn't even make sense.

"if she was straight I bet she'd #### me."

does your daughter look like a lesbian or something?

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

parasaurolophus
Kid bullying my daughter.
2
Replies
57
Views
1K
Mrs. Rannous
Mrs. Rannous
G
Help for a heartsick dad
Replies
47
Views
1K
Jaysus
Jaysus
Chadstroma
Yet More Proof Women are Impossible to Please
4 5 6
Replies
261
Views
8K
Terminalxylem
Terminalxylem

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top