GM's thread about nothing (9 Viewers)

[YSR]

So does anybody here know anything about self-publishing a book? My dad wrote a book and while I personally enjoyed it, I'm not sure it'll catch on with any publishers or agents or whatever it takes to get a book published. My dad is too shy and unmotivated to push it out the door and while I'd love to daydream about somebody picking it up, I know literary life just doesn't work that way. So what I'd like to do is have it self published as a Christmas gift to him. But I'm not sure how best to go about doing that either. Any tips or suggestions appreciated.

Isn't there a book guy here? Was selling a load of books after he shut down his store?

There was but now I think he's in florida selling kidneys or something?

It was oddball. He lives in SC now and goes by the name "Hastur" on these boards nowadays.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Been on spinach > lettuce for over a year now. Big difference.

I can't really tell a difference but I've been on spinach salads for lunch instead of lettuce for about a year too.I can't decided if I'm getting ripped off hitting the salad bar though instead of just buying my own stuff. Pretty sure I'm too cheap and lazy to figure it out. I the soup bar they have though.

 

[RudiStein]

Just about off of work. All I want to do is go home, take John Brown to the armory, make dinner and relax for the rest of the night.

The wife wants me to go to some business/chamber of commerce mixer. I'm going to spend 70-80% of the time telling people "I'm a teacher. You're wasting your time talking to me."

 

[videoguy505]

take John Brown to the armory

nice

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I'm eating nachos.

 

[General Malaise]

So does anybody here know anything about self-publishing a book? My dad wrote a book and while I personally enjoyed it, I'm not sure it'll catch on with any publishers or agents or whatever it takes to get a book published. My dad is too shy and unmotivated to push it out the door and while I'd love to daydream about somebody picking it up, I know literary life just doesn't work that way. So what I'd like to do is have it self published as a Christmas gift to him. But I'm not sure how best to go about doing that either. Any tips or suggestions appreciated.

www.lulu.com

I've read a little bit about that. Have you ever used them? Ideally, I'd like to print enough copies to send to his friends and our family...and maybe have a way for people who were so inclined to download it. Do I get to copyright it for him? Can I do art cover for the book? Will this cost thousands of dollars?How would one go about pushing this thing on a publisher? No chance, right? Like a movie script, they just aren't in demand from nobodies?

 

[General Malaise]

So does anybody here know anything about self-publishing a book? My dad wrote a book and while I personally enjoyed it, I'm not sure it'll catch on with any publishers or agents or whatever it takes to get a book published. My dad is too shy and unmotivated to push it out the door and while I'd love to daydream about somebody picking it up, I know literary life just doesn't work that way. So what I'd like to do is have it self published as a Christmas gift to him. But I'm not sure how best to go about doing that either. Any tips or suggestions appreciated.

If it's about his attempts to raise you through childhood, it'll outsell Harry Potter.

FU

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I'm eating nachos.

I know this thread is monitored, so just know that if it wasn't I would curse you out and use the Lord's name in vain repeatedly, as well as the "f" word and the "c" word in several different combinations. I love nachos.Rudi> Maybe tell them that you run a fantasy football website?

seasoned hamburger, sour cream, salsa and REAL nacho cheese

 

[General Malaise]

This year, the company bought a half season ticket package for the Blazers instead of a full. Considering there's only 5 of us, that's still plenty. But this year, we're sitting in the Club Level, which offers up unlimited food and non-alcoholic booze. However, they do have a pretty sweet bar bar in the middle of the concourse that will sell me all the sweet scotch and beautiful bourbon my soul can muster. They got carving stations, mini-ruebens, pizza, salad bar, mashed potatos, shrimp..plus all the free popcorn/pretzels/ice cream a snack/sweet lover can handle. I'm planning on getting uber baked and setting some sort of consumption record. I'd like to take Shuke to a game and record the carnage.

My poor poor second wife.

 

[General Malaise]

I'm eating nachos.

I know this thread is monitored, so just know that if it wasn't I would curse you out and use the Lord's name in vain repeatedly, as well as the "f" word and the "c" word in several different combinations. I love nachos.Rudi> Maybe tell them that you run a fantasy football website?

seasoned hamburger, sour cream, salsa and REAL nacho cheese

Elaborate on 'real' nacho cheese? I like my nacho's with melted cheddar, jack or that nice little Mexican 4-blend cheese they sell in a bag.But I detest that runny, stadium cheese they use. Also, Velvetta is a creation of the devil.

 

[shut it down]

Honestly, you should just delete that post and re-ignite the Eat-Off with a video of you ruining their food supplies. I imagine stunned and panicky stadium employees running around like those little naked napalmed kids in 'Nam, being pursued by a creature with the ferocity of Godzilla and the figure and coloring of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I'm eating nachos.

I know this thread is monitored, so just know that if it wasn't I would curse you out and use the Lord's name in vain repeatedly, as well as the "f" word and the "c" word in several different combinations. I love nachos.Rudi> Maybe tell them that you run a fantasy football website?

seasoned hamburger, sour cream, salsa and REAL nacho cheese

Elaborate on 'real' nacho cheese? I like my nacho's with melted cheddar, jack or that nice little Mexican 4-blend cheese they sell in a bag.

But I detest that runny, stadium cheese they use. Also, Velvetta is a creation of the devil.

That's what it was. When I was buying the French bread for my sandwich, it was right there next it. I don't know why but there was no way I was leaving without some.

Velvetta is pretty tasty for processed cheese food. You ever have Polish Mistakes? Mrs. SLB makes a great version. I can eat about 10 of them if I'm stoned.

 

[General Malaise]

Honestly, you should just delete that post and re-ignite the Eat-Off with a video of you ruining their food supplies. I imagine stunned and panicky stadium employees running around like those little naked napalmed kids in 'Nam, being pursued by a creature the ferocity of Godzilla with the figure and coloring of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.

I hate you guys.

 

[General Malaise]

You cannot stop URG, you can only hope to contain URG

One Month Chart

 

[Tiger Fan]

So does anybody here know anything about self-publishing a book? My dad wrote a book and while I personally enjoyed it, I'm not sure it'll catch on with any publishers or agents or whatever it takes to get a book published. My dad is too shy and unmotivated to push it out the door and while I'd love to daydream about somebody picking it up, I know literary life just doesn't work that way. So what I'd like to do is have it self published as a Christmas gift to him. But I'm not sure how best to go about doing that either. Any tips or suggestions appreciated.

www.lulu.com

I've read a little bit about that. Have you ever used them? Ideally, I'd like to print enough copies to send to his friends and our family...and maybe have a way for people who were so inclined to download it. Do I get to copyright it for him? Can I do art cover for the book? Will this cost thousands of dollars?How would one go about pushing this thing on a publisher? No chance, right? Like a movie script, they just aren't in demand from nobodies?

Never used them...no idea on any of your questions.

 

[Thorn]

Just about off of work. All I want to do is go home, take John Brown to the armory, make dinner and relax for the rest of the night.The wife wants me to go to some business/chamber of commerce mixer. I'm going to spend 70-80% of the time telling people "I'm a teacher. You're wasting your time talking to me."

I always enjoy the one schmo at those things who says "everyone is in sales."

 

[commisholio]

Honestly, you should just delete that post and re-ignite the Eat-Off with a video of you ruining their food supplies. I imagine stunned and panicky stadium employees running around like those little naked napalmed kids in 'Nam, being pursued by a creature the ferocity of Godzilla with the figure and coloring of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.

 

[shut it down]

Honestly, you should just delete that post and re-ignite the Eat-Off with a video of you ruining their food supplies. I imagine stunned and panicky stadium employees running around like those little naked napalmed kids in 'Nam, being pursued by a creature the ferocity of Godzilla with the figure and coloring of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.

Peens sneers at the grammar in this (original) post.

 

[Al_Czervik]

Honestly, you should just delete that post and re-ignite the Eat-Off with a video of you ruining their food supplies. I imagine stunned and panicky stadium employees running around like those little naked napalmed kids in 'Nam, being pursued by a creature the ferocity of Godzilla with the figure and coloring of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.

I hate you guys.

Doon't Let Theee SUUUUUNNN GOOO DOOOWWN OOOON MEEEEEEE!!!!!

 

[Frostillicus]

Velvetta is pretty tasty for processed cheese food. You ever have Polish Mistakes? Mrs. SLB makes a great version. I can eat about 10 of them if I'm stoned.

I never knew these had a name, but my mom makes them for Christmas dinner appetizers every year and I can't stop eating them.Also our family is super polish, so it makes sense.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Velvetta is pretty tasty for processed cheese food. You ever have Polish Mistakes? Mrs. SLB makes a great version. I can eat about 10 of them if I'm stoned.

I never knew these had a name, but my mom makes them for Christmas dinner appetizers every year and I can't stop eating them.Also our family is super polish, so it makes sense.

We always called them rye bread pizzas but our Chicago friends call them Polish Mistakes. They are super awesome.

 

[Drifter]

Jimmy John's is excellent for a chain. The sandwiches on the right side of the menu are bigger than the left side. That's where you want to focus.

Pay attention to the mayo/mustard details. Some sandwiches have mayo, some have mustard, some have neither. Make sure you specify what you want. Personally I usually go "easy on the mayo" and Dijon.

As for publishing a book. Lots of places on the web will print and bind a single book or a handful of books. If you're thinking a full fledged vanity publishing (hundreds of books) that can be a bit pricey. I would think that Eugene and Seattle both have a number of literary agents if you want to try and fish the book around for nibbles. That can be a tough road to ho but you can get lucky if you're persistent.

 

[shuke]

I'm giving up on lettuce. I just can't digest it. Everytime I eat a salad, the day after is a thrill ride on the throne. Why won't that stuff digest in my stomach? It doesn't look impervious to stomach acids, yet there it is, swimming around the top of the bowl as if to say 'HEY!' Maybe I'll make the switch to spinach over lettuce too...but I don't do Subway.

Lettuce is garbage. Probably the most overrated vegetable in history.

Who exactly is overrating it?

 

[shuke]

it passes through me like a barium enema.

You're doing it wrong

 

[Frostillicus]

Velvetta is pretty tasty for processed cheese food. You ever have Polish Mistakes? Mrs. SLB makes a great version. I can eat about 10 of them if I'm stoned.

I never knew these had a name, but my mom makes them for Christmas dinner appetizers every year and I can't stop eating them.Also our family is super polish, so it makes sense.

We always called them rye bread pizzas but our Chicago friends call them Polish Mistakes. They are super awesome.

Will you have the wife make some and send them to me?

 

[shuke]

So I'm reading this thread. My wife comes in, looks at the screen, says "Me eat all the poop?? Goodnight", rolls her eyes and walks out.

 

[RudiStein]

Rudi> Maybe tell them that you run a fantasy football website?

Turns out I didn't have to tell anybody anything. Nobody really asked. I did make a few contacts with some people for my side business. My wife explained that this was "trick or treating for grownups". Every booth had some type of swag to take. I got at least 25 pens, 3 or 4 key chains, various fridge magnets etc. When I spotted one giving away a quality type object I went back for seconds.

 

[desert rose]

Rudi> Maybe tell them that you run a fantasy football website?

Turns out I didn't have to tell anybody anything. Nobody really asked. I did make a few contacts with some people for my side business. My wife explained that this was "trick or treating for grownups". Every booth had some type of swag to take. I got at least 25 pens, 3 or 4 key chains, various fridge magnets etc. When I spotted one giving away a quality type object I went back for seconds.

Was the quality type object a frisbee with the business name printed on it?

 

[RudiStein]

Rudi> Maybe tell them that you run a fantasy football website?

Turns out I didn't have to tell anybody anything. Nobody really asked. I did make a few contacts with some people for my side business. My wife explained that this was "trick or treating for grownups". Every booth had some type of swag to take. I got at least 25 pens, 3 or 4 key chains, various fridge magnets etc. When I spotted one giving away a quality type object I went back for seconds.

Was the quality type object a frisbee with the business name printed on it?

No. I only saw one Frisbee and it was a decoration at the Ben and Jerry's booth. "Quality" was a good pen. Oh and one place has these cool light stick/saber type things. I got 3 of them. Yes, I am 12 years old.

 

[desert rose]

Rudi> Maybe tell them that you run a fantasy football website?

Turns out I didn't have to tell anybody anything. Nobody really asked. I did make a few contacts with some people for my side business. My wife explained that this was "trick or treating for grownups". Every booth had some type of swag to take. I got at least 25 pens, 3 or 4 key chains, various fridge magnets etc. When I spotted one giving away a quality type object I went back for seconds.

Was the quality type object a frisbee with the business name printed on it?

No. I only saw one Frisbee and it was a decoration at the Ben and Jerry's booth. "Quality" was a good pen. Oh and one place has these cool light stick/saber type things. I got 3 of them. Yes, I am 12 years old.

I've been to teacher conferences where publishers give out tote bags. I went back two times to get one for my friends. Some publishers give out books. Pens and keychains are pretty common, but when they have a candy dish, that's exciting. One time there were margaritas and nachos and mariachis. Fiesta!!

 

[KGB]

Rudi> Maybe tell them that you run a fantasy football website?

Turns out I didn't have to tell anybody anything. Nobody really asked. I did make a few contacts with some people for my side business. My wife explained that this was "trick or treating for grownups". Every booth had some type of swag to take. I got at least 25 pens, 3 or 4 key chains, various fridge magnets etc. When I spotted one giving away a quality type object I went back for seconds.

Was the quality type object a frisbee with the business name printed on it?

No. I only saw one Frisbee and it was a decoration at the Ben and Jerry's booth. "Quality" was a good pen. Oh and one place has these cool light stick/saber type things. I got 3 of them. Yes, I am 12 years old.

Hate to be a downer, but those are walking sticks. Like for people who hike or walk uphill and stuff. i think. i use them to trip people

 

[heckmanm]

So I'm reading this thread. My wife comes in, looks at the screen, says "Me eat all the poop?? Goodnight", rolls her eyes and walks out.

For the moment, "me eat all the poop" returns exactly one result in a Google search. Never had one do that before.

 

[JZilla]

So I'm reading this thread. My wife comes in, looks at the screen, says "Me eat all the poop?? Goodnight", rolls her eyes and walks out.

Should have responded with a "New here?"

 

[Foosball God]

Just about off of work. All I want to do is go home, take John Brown to the armory, make dinner and relax for the rest of the night.

The wife wants me to go to some business/chamber of commerce mixer. I'm going to spend 70-80% of the time telling people "I'm a teacher. You're wasting your time talking to me."

Funny, I was just at Harpers Ferry a little while ago.

 

[RudiStein]

Just about off of work. All I want to do is go home, take John Brown to the armory, make dinner and relax for the rest of the night.

The wife wants me to go to some business/chamber of commerce mixer. I'm going to spend 70-80% of the time telling people "I'm a teacher. You're wasting your time talking to me."

Funny, I was just at Harpers Ferry a little while ago.

Sweet! What for?

 

[Foosball God]

Just about off of work. All I want to do is go home, take John Brown to the armory, make dinner and relax for the rest of the night.

The wife wants me to go to some business/chamber of commerce mixer. I'm going to spend 70-80% of the time telling people "I'm a teacher. You're wasting your time talking to me."

Funny, I was just at Harpers Ferry a little while ago.

Sweet! What for?

Just sight seeing

 

[General Malaise]

Well, now that I've gone club seating, there's just no going back now. In order of consumption....

- Smoked Chicken Quesadillas

- Dry rubbe tri-tip, made into fold-overs with dinner rolls avec moutard and horse radish. Also, eaten a la carte on a second pass through, where I was given the delicious end piece by a gorgeous young gal who told me the end piece has 'all the flavor'. I might be in love...

- Salad with lettuce, cucumbers, blue cheese, carrots, croutons, Italian dressing

- 4 deviled eggs

- A hot dog with all the fixings

- Twix Bar

- Popcorn

- Chocolate covered strawberry

- Petite blueberry cheesecake

All in the name of free, brother.

Oh, and I stuffed my pockets with some peanuts and another Twix bar.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Velvetta is pretty tasty for processed cheese food. You ever have Polish Mistakes? Mrs. SLB makes a great version. I can eat about 10 of them if I'm stoned.

I never knew these had a name, but my mom makes them for Christmas dinner appetizers every year and I can't stop eating them.Also our family is super polish, so it makes sense.

We always called them rye bread pizzas but our Chicago friends call them Polish Mistakes. They are super awesome.

Will you have the wife make some and send them to me?

When she makes them they all get eaten.

 

[General Malaise]

Does this ever happen to you guys? I'm in the shower this morning, and for whatever reason, I start belting out the song "Run Away Train" by Soul Asylum. Now, I was never a fan of Soul Asylum and while I was in college, I used to get requests for my Soul Asylum impersonation, but deep down, I kinda like "Run Away Train" and will listen to it if on the radio. But I haven't heard it in ages.

I start my car this morning and both sports radio stations are on commercial. NPR was talking about wood instruments or Nathanial Hawthorne or Nebraska or some topic I didn't care about. So I went to the Alternative Rock station and rode up some horrible song by the lead singer of the Killers. As soon as it was over, what comes on? "Run Away Train".

Does that mean today is my lucky day?

 

[General Malaise]

Velvetta is pretty tasty for processed cheese food. You ever have Polish Mistakes? Mrs. SLB makes a great version. I can eat about 10 of them if I'm stoned.

I never knew these had a name, but my mom makes them for Christmas dinner appetizers every year and I can't stop eating them.Also our family is super polish, so it makes sense.

We always called them rye bread pizzas but our Chicago friends call them Polish Mistakes. They are super awesome.

Will you have the wife make some and send them to me?

When she makes them they all get eaten.

Is there just no other cheese option? Does it have to be Velveta?

 

[RudiStein]

Does this ever happen to you guys? I'm in the shower this morning, and for whatever reason, I start belting out the song "Run Away Train" by Soul Asylum. Now, I was never a fan of Soul Asylum and while I was in college, I used to get requests for my Soul Asylum impersonation, but deep down, I kinda like "Run Away Train" and will listen to it if on the radio. But I haven't heard it in ages.

I start my car this morning and both sports radio stations are on commercial. NPR was talking about wood instruments or Nathanial Hawthorne or Nebraska or some topic I didn't care about. So I went to the Alternative Rock station and rode up some horrible song by the lead singer of the Killers. As soon as it was over, what comes on? "Run Away Train".

Does that mean today is my lucky day?

This happened just the other day. As I was getting into my car the chorus to
by Bill Withers. 15 minutes later is comes on the 'old school jams' station as I pull into work. <_<

 

[RudiStein]

Just about off of work. All I want to do is go home, take John Brown to the armory, make dinner and relax for the rest of the night.

The wife wants me to go to some business/chamber of commerce mixer. I'm going to spend 70-80% of the time telling people "I'm a teacher. You're wasting your time talking to me."

Funny, I was just at Harpers Ferry a little while ago.

Sweet! What for?

Just sight seeing

How's the ferry look these days?

 

[Lieutenant Dan]

Just about off of work. All I want to do is go home, take John Brown to the armory, make dinner and relax for the rest of the night.

The wife wants me to go to some business/chamber of commerce mixer. I'm going to spend 70-80% of the time telling people "I'm a teacher. You're wasting your time talking to me."

Funny, I was just at Harpers Ferry a little while ago.

Sweet! What for?

Just sight seeing

How's the ferry look these days?

he looks FABulous!

 

[JaxBill]

I was given the delicious end piece by a gorgeous young gal who told me the end piece has 'all the flavor'.

That reminds me, I can't believe I missed out on the Pocahontas thread until this voting contest.

 

[jplvr]

Wait, people actually listen to NPR?

I thought the polish mistake was procreation.

 

[Sammy3469]

Well, now that I've gone club seating, there's just no going back now. In order of consumption....- Smoked Chicken Quesadillas- Dry rubbe tri-tip, made into fold-overs with dinner rolls avec moutard and horse radish. Also, eaten a la carte on a second pass through, where I was given the delicious end piece by a gorgeous young gal who told me the end piece has 'all the flavor'. I might be in love...- Salad with lettuce, cucumbers, blue cheese, carrots, croutons, Italian dressing- 4 deviled eggs- A hot dog with all the fixings- Twix Bar- Popcorn- Chocolate covered strawberry- Petite blueberry cheesecakeAll in the name of free, brother.Oh, and I stuffed my pockets with some peanuts and another Twix bar.

I hope you were drunk when you decided to eat the salad. For someone with such legendary eating prowess, that seems like an amatuerish move.

 

[General Malaise]

Wait, people actually listen to NPR?

I not only listen, I'm also a donor.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Is there just no other cheese option? Does it have to be Velveta?

She uses some sort of secret blend of cheddar, mozzarella & Velvetta.If you didn't know Velvetta was involved you would destroy them like they were Mel Gibson's career.

 

[General Malaise]

Well, now that I've gone club seating, there's just no going back now. In order of consumption....- Smoked Chicken Quesadillas- Dry rubbe tri-tip, made into fold-overs with dinner rolls avec moutard and horse radish. Also, eaten a la carte on a second pass through, where I was given the delicious end piece by a gorgeous young gal who told me the end piece has 'all the flavor'. I might be in love...- Salad with lettuce, cucumbers, blue cheese, carrots, croutons, Italian dressing- 4 deviled eggs- A hot dog with all the fixings- Twix Bar- Popcorn- Chocolate covered strawberry- Petite blueberry cheesecakeAll in the name of free, brother.Oh, and I stuffed my pockets with some peanuts and another Twix bar.

I hope you were drunk when you decided to eat the salad. For someone with such legendary eating prowess, that seems like an amatuerish move.

Just to be clear, the salad was AFTER two quesadillas and two tri-tip fold-overs. I just wanted an excuse to stuff some blue cheese and deviled eggs into my Twix-Hole and the lettuce/cucumbers/croutons provided that cover for me.

 

[General Malaise]

Is there just no other cheese option? Does it have to be Velveta?

She uses some sort of secret blend of cheddar, mozzarella & Velvetta.If you didn't know Velvetta was involved you would destroy them like they were Mel Gibson's career.

I'm sooooooo stealing that.