I told my coach today that I won’t be able to do a structured training plan for Berlin. Between the “75 Hard” and family/work obligations, I’m not sleeping nearly enough, and I’m tired all the damn time. I’ll still run decent mileage and do my long runs and everything, and I’ll do some speed if/when my legs allow, but I just don’t care enough right now to dive deep into the pain cave.
ETA: I feel like I’m giving up on ever being as fast as I was, and I don’t like it. So much of my identity is tied up in this.
Maybe you just have a new identity that is starting to show itself.
Being married and having kids obviously changes things. Especially kids. For a long time you have the benefit of TIME. You had plenty of it to spare and used that time to transform yourself into this amazing running machine. You changed your life for the way better. And you are good at it and it helped give you that swagger and confidence that you are capable of damn near everything.
Then a child comes, and you look at her and all of a sudden all that time you had is now splintered in a lot of different directions. You fight with yourself on trying to maintain what you were to what you have to be now. And that's a tough battle. We have all been there. I know when I first started running I even posted here about as I got serious I got a LOT of pushback from my spouse about spending so much time away from the kids because of the running.
And now you are in that.
I will say this: my wife was right. I made a lot of decisions of running over them. It all worked out in the end but I'm not near the runner that you are. So I know your internal struggle with this is real and intense and probably impossible to sort out.
But your new reality for awhile is choices. What is most important is how you delegate that time and prioritize that time relative to your goals. As I see it, after you factor in your family time, you have two pretty hard things going on simultaneously to pick from:
1. The 75 Hard
2. The marathon training
You can't do both obviously. But the way I see it is this: you are a runner and a damn good one. If I'm you I prioritize the marathon block. You are traveling to Berlin with some great people and if I know you as I think I do, you will be disappointed in yourself if you don't show well there.
I abandon the 75 Hard - but not completely. Take the good components and use them to your advantage - the better diet, limited alcohol or none at all, etc. You combine those several items with a good training block and you set yourself up for a GREAT 2024 off of a great race in Berlin.