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RIP Riley (1 Viewer)

I probably can't even imagine what you're going through shady, but know you've got a ton of people out here with nothing but love and best thoughts for you and your family. Riley and your family have touched a lot of us here.

 
My heart aches for you and your family, Shady. I'm so happy that Justin was able to say goodbye. Please give your family a big group hug for me. 

 
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So sorry to hear it.  Can't say that I've ever welled up from a forum post before but that changed tonight.  RIP Riley.

 
Damn Shady, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I feel a very small fraction of that loss with you brother. I offer my deepest condolences to you, your family and friends. We're here for you.

 
Uggh--I wish I was better with words--as I know I'm not capable of expressing how sorry I am for your loss.  What you have gone through and what you are currently going through is beyond the scope of what I can even fathom.   I truly wish you and your entire family all of the strength, love and positive energy that you need to get through these tough times.   I also want to commend you, your family, and Riley (God bless your soul) all for being pillars of strength, courage, and love.  While its impossible for every story to have a perfectly happy ending--it is possible to draw inspiration and enlightenment from these imperfect stories. I know that this probably doesn't mean much to you--but the strength, courage and love that you and Riley have shown throughout this entire ordeal has been nothing short of amazing and inspirational to me. I know I'm not the only one.  Read through this thread--you guys have touched so many lives.  For this I say "Thank You"--and "God Bless you for giving us the opportunity and honor to let Riley touch our lives".  Deepest condolences and much love.  

 
Almost felt a little guilt as I kissed my kids goodnight last night. Then I realized it wasn't guilt. It was my heart hurting for an iFriend whom I've never met. Hang in there shadyfam. May you find peace and comfort in the coming days. 

 
I am so sorry to hear about this. Her story captivated a whole lot of us around here. 

I lost a sister to illness when we were both very young. And while I can't tell you the details about it, over 40 years of talking with my parents about their lives after is that you will grieve, cry and be angry, but in the end you need to keep your family unit strong for the sake of your son and the memory of your daughter. Seek counseling, talk to anyone who will listen and seek those who have been there before..... and trust that your family bond will strengthen. 

Bless you and your family in the next few difficult days as well as the time ahead. 

 
I was talking to my wife about this last night and almost got sick to my stomach when I saw the thread update.  So sorry for your loss.  I've never met you in the flesh, but know that you, your family, and Riley are as ingrained in my mind as a lot of people I've met in person.  Hang in there.  One day at a time.  :cry:

 
jvdesigns2002 said:
Uggh--I wish I was better with words--as I know I'm not capable of expressing how sorry I am for your loss.  What you have gone through and what you are currently going through is beyond the scope of what I can even fathom.   I truly wish you and your entire family all of the strength, love and positive energy that you need to get through these tough times.   I also want to commend you, your family, and Riley (God bless your soul) all for being pillars of strength, courage, and love.  While its impossible for every story to have a perfectly happy ending--it is possible to draw inspiration and enlightenment from these imperfect stories. I know that this probably doesn't mean much to you--but the strength, courage and love that you and Riley have shown throughout this entire ordeal has been nothing short of amazing and inspirational to me. I know I'm not the only one.  Read through this thread--you guys have touched so many lives.  For this I say "Thank You"--and "God Bless you for giving us the opportunity and honor to let Riley touch our lives".  Deepest condolences and much love.  
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Shady, I cant say it better than the jvdesigns.   

I am so sorry for your loss.  Truly sorry. 

This tough guy needs to go dry his eyes.   

 
I just noticed that the thread title changed and my heart sank. As I catch up with the posts my eyes are welling up.  :(

Your family is my thoughts and prayers Shady. I know your son really loved his little sister. Saying additional prayers that he is able to get through this and understand (which I know he will because he has wonderful parents).

God bless you for everything you've gone through these last few months. You're a hell of a man Shady.

 
Went back and forth to the hospital for 7 weeks while she was in NICU, took a ton of days off work to be at every doctor appointment, went to Early Intervention meeting and fought for her to get services, joined support groups on Facebook for pediatric stroke, ip, children with special needs, and pulmonary hypertension. Did tons of research on stroke, seizures, pulmonary hypertension, babies not gaining weight. And it was all for nothing. I can't believe she's gone. A week ago at this time was her appointment for pre surgical testing and I didn't think anything was wrong with her and now I'm planning her funeral. Life is not fair. 

The nurse for the eye care facility just called and left a message asking how the pre surgical testing went and to remember put the drops in her eyes. We had to cancel the christening party we had planned for her in October. She never had a party, I never bought her a gift, I barely took her out to do anything, we went to lego land the Monday before this all happened and cheesecake factory. It was like the only thing we ever did like a normal family. That was her great vacation. I posted pics on Facebook without a care in the world and now she's gone.

 
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Some things to think about.

This is not your fault.  Take some time to think about it.  This is not your fault.  You did everything you could have or should have done.  You may find yourself thinkong later what if i had done this or we had done that or she hadn't done that.  It's not your fault. 

She got a really sad deal from life.  It's tremendously sad that some people get 100 years and other people don't even get one.  But for someone who only got a short time here on earth, she was as loved as any kid could be. You and your family inspired people around the country.  She was loved and she will be missed.

You are going to feel like the worst kind of celebrity for a while.  People will try to talk to you about this like they understand or like they don't understand or like they should definitely say something but they don't know what.  Make your life simpler by finding something polite to say when you want to change the subject, like thank you so much ive always appreciated your friendship.  If you don't want to talk about it, don't.  If you need to talk about it, do.  You can always talk here.

This is an unfair thing.  It is an unfair thing that happened to riley.  It's an unfair thing that happened to your wife.  An unfair thing that happened to your son.  And an unfair thing that happened to you.  All of those need to be grieved.  

Don't feel guilty for grieving for your own ####ty deal here.  Don't feel obligated to do more than you can.  You are dealing with a lot and won't be perfect these next few weeks.  To be your best for the people who need you right now you have to have time to grieve for your own ####ty lot in this, too.  This is natural and it's equally natural to feel bad about it.  

I am sorry for your loss.  Not just for riley who was a beautiful kid.  For what you and your family are going to go through.  I am confident that you're a good person after seeing everything you've done here.  We all are.  And you should know that.  You're a good dude and i wish you all the best going forward.  

 
shadyridr said:
Went back and forth to the hospital for 7 weeks while she was in NICU, took a ton of days off work to be at every doctor appointment, went to Early Intervention meeting and fought for her to get services, joined support groups on Facebook for pediatric stroke, ip, children with special needs, and pulmonary hypertension. Did tons of research on stroke, seizures, pulmonary hypertension, babies not gaining weight. And it was all for nothing. I can't believe she's gone. A week ago at this time was her appointment for pre surgical testing and I didn't think anything was wrong with her and now I'm planning her funeral. Life is not fair. 

The nurse for the eye care facility just called and left a message asking how the pre surgical testing went and to remember put the drops in her eyes. We had to cancel the christening party we had planned for her in October. She never had a party, I never bought her a gift, I barely took her out to do anything, we went to lego land the Monday before this all happened and cheesecake factory. It was like the only thing we ever did like a normal family. That was her great vacation. I posted pics on Facebook without a care in the world and now she's gone.
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Imagine how you'd feel if you hadn't done all of those things.  Any child in a similar situation would be extremely lucky to have parents like you dedicating their lives trying to do everything they can.  The fact is you went above and beyond doing absolutely everything you could and then some and Riley thanks you for it.  

 
shadyridr said:
Went back and forth to the hospital for 7 weeks while she was in NICU, took a ton of days off work to be at every doctor appointment, went to Early Intervention meeting and fought for her to get services, joined support groups on Facebook for pediatric stroke, ip, children with special needs, and pulmonary hypertension. Did tons of research on stroke, seizures, pulmonary hypertension, babies not gaining weight. And it was all for nothing. I can't believe she's gone. A week ago at this time was her appointment for pre surgical testing and I didn't think anything was wrong with her and now I'm planning her funeral. Life is not fair. 

The nurse for the eye care facility just called and left a message asking how the pre surgical testing went and to remember put the drops in her eyes. We had to cancel the christening party we had planned for her in October. She never had a party, I never bought her a gift, I barely took her out to do anything, we went to lego land the Monday before this all happened and cheesecake factory. It was like the only thing we ever did like a normal family. That was her great vacation. I posted pics on Facebook without a care in the world and now she's gone.
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Man, you put forth more effort into being a father for her in a short time than some others do over decades.  Your wife and son and those around you including us saw that and won't forget it. 

 
Ugh, so very sorry. I can't imagine the unbearable grief you are feeling. I hope your family will be able to find peace.

 
bostonfred said:
Some things to think about.

This is not your fault.  Take some time to think about it.  This is not your fault.  You did everything you could have or should have done.  You may find yourself thinkong later what if i had done this or we had done that or she hadn't done that.  It's not your fault. 

She got a really sad deal from life.  It's tremendously sad that some people get 100 years and other people don't even get one.  But for someone who only got a short time here on earth, she was as loved as any kid could be. You and your family inspired people around the country.  She was loved and she will be missed.

You are going to feel like the worst kind of celebrity for a while.  People will try to talk to you about this like they understand or like they don't understand or like they should definitely say something but they don't know what.  Make your life simpler by finding something polite to say when you want to change the subject, like thank you so much ive always appreciated your friendship.  If you don't want to talk about it, don't.  If you need to talk about it, do.  You can always talk here.

This is an unfair thing.  It is an unfair thing that happened to riley.  It's an unfair thing that happened to your wife.  An unfair thing that happened to your son.  And an unfair thing that happened to you.  All of those need to be grieved.  

Don't feel guilty for grieving for your own ####ty deal here.  Don't feel obligated to do more than you can.  You are dealing with a lot and won't be perfect these next few weeks.  To be your best for the people who need you right now you have to have time to grieve for your own ####ty lot in this, too.  This is natural and it's equally natural to feel bad about it.  

I am sorry for your loss.  Not just for riley who was a beautiful kid.  For what you and your family are going to go through.  I am confident that you're a good person after seeing everything you've done here.  We all are.  And you should know that.  You're a good dude and i wish you all the best going forward.  
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:goodposting:

 
Thanks Fred, I thought I did all I could but maybe I should've pushed for another echo after the first one was normal. I can't believe an echo can show a normal heart and then show severe hypertension 8 weeks later. I'm hoping the autopsy provides some answers and can save at the very least one baby. Her death can't be for nothing.

 
shadyridr said:
Thanks Fred, I thought I did all I could but maybe I should've pushed for another echo after the first one was normal. I can't believe an echo can show a normal heart and then show severe hypertension 8 weeks later. I'm hoping the autopsy provides some answers and can save at the very least one baby. Her death can't be for nothing.
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Fred said it best.  You did all that you could.  You and that little girl touched A LOT of strangers lives over the past couple of months.  You showed a lot of us what is right in this world.  Hang in there. 

 
Wierd that I never saw this thread till now. What an amazingly sad story. I'm so very sorry for you and your family. I don't have any great words and thanks to those here that do and express my sentiments 100x better than I ever could.

 
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