BobbyLayne
Footballguy
I’m more of a Hebrides kind of guy. May I interest you in something Gaelic?
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**the mental health thread** (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter mr. furley
- Start date
I’m more of a Hebrides kind of guy. May I interest you in something Gaelic?
Ilov80s
Footballguy
How’s that going?
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Day 1
(had to knock out a few things….physical, phone consult with drug dealer aka psychiatrist, family vacation)
todays assignment in creative writing therapy was to write a haiku
there’s all new veterans there since I left…and a few new staff…will take awhile to get acclimated. I probably won’t be assigned an individual therapist for a few weeks (went to group today.)
anyway it’s both good to be getting help & annoying af if that makes any sense
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Yeah that makes total sense. Change often sucks even when it's the change you want.
Day 1
(had to knock out a few things….physical, phone consult with drug dealer aka psychiatrist, family vacation)
todays assignment in creative writing therapy was to write a haiku
there’s all new veterans there since I left…and a few new staff…will take awhile to get acclimated. I probably won’t be assigned an individual therapist for a few weeks (went to group today.)
anyway it’s both good to be getting help & annoying af if that makes any sense
PIK95
Footballguy
For some reason I just thought of the Dr. Evil and Scott therapy session when you said there were all new people attending. Good luck!
Day 1
there’s all new veterans there since I left…and a few new staff…will take awhile to get acclimated. I probably won’t be assigned an individual therapist for a few weeks (went to group today.)
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
I was going to go with Petrarchan Sonnet, but something Gaelic might be nice.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Been on an extended rabbit hole of psych/self pods related to building self efficacy, shifting locus of control, narrative psychology, trauma/ptsd, substance disorder and recovering from sexual abuse. I’ve learned so much, it’s been so mind opening. A lot of it is stuff I kind of knew but never really thought deeply about. It will definitely improve me as a teacher, person and mentor. Highly recommend searching around for podcasts on topics that are on your mind. It’s pretty incredible to have such instant access to the minds of people with similar life experiences or experts with so much knowledge and practice. The impact it’s having on me helping my young friend is already evident and I can already see a path for so much growth for her. So yeah, that’s my big suggestion for the day. Let me know if you want any specific recommendations, just give me a topic that’s on your mind.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
I’m getting a sound bath today at the VA
It’s like a vibration massage using sound
Will report back lol
It’s like a vibration massage using sound
Will report back lol
The Gator
Footballguy
I’m tingly just reading about it.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
I’m tingly just reading about it.
It was relaxing. But by the end I just wanted to get out & they kept ringing the pyramid chime (bc resonates more than a triangle?) & having the veterans repeat humming sounds / consonants - I just quietly put on my shoes & bounced.
We laid on double yoga mats with what I describe as exceptionally unique horse blankets. Sort of like in kindergarten when you took naps on those tiny rugs, only bigger. With those nightshade covers over your eyes so you’re in total blackout. Once you get over the weirdness, very soothing.
I give them full credit for thinking outsude the box in trying new ways to teach combat vets how to chill tf out. About 1/3 of the staff are interns or externs who bring fresh thinking to the process.
TBH it’s an amazing program. The director fosters a family atmosphere amongst both the staff and the veterans. Like one activity today was a 45 minute meeting of everyone in the program just to go over announcements, changes, one guy was graduating, two interns are leaving, new ones coming in, etc.
I’m still annoyed to be back - I graduated 18 months ago, maybe 10-20% of vets end up going through it again? - but whatever, it’s something I need rn.
TBH it’s an amazing program. The director fosters a family atmosphere amongst both the staff and the veterans. Like one activity today was a 45 minute meeting of everyone in the program just to go over announcements, changes, one guy was graduating, two interns are leaving, new ones coming in, etc.
I’m still annoyed to be back - I graduated 18 months ago, maybe 10-20% of vets end up going through it again? - but whatever, it’s something I need rn.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
It sounds like the Orgasmatron from Barbarella. Helpful, I know.
Snoopy
Footballguy
With my counselor, I've been going through the fact that having children is not for everyone and it is perfectly OK if one remains childless. Then this thread comes up: https://forums.footballguys.com/thr...h-the-whole-not-having-children-thing.809211/ and it is bringing up bad expectations that is necessary to have children and not having any was a failure. Got this from society's expectations, certain family members and even the church I used to attend sad that not getting married and not having children was selfish. I finally did my "good riddance" to that religion and started going to a different church that reflected my values better and for a change, I found their services to be refreshing and not just a giant guilt trip.
rockaction
Footballguy
That's a tough issue and I grapple with it, too. I think as I get older and face my parents' (and my own) impending death, I get to wondering about certain things. Like, should I have had a family, and why didn't I, and was it because I couldn't give enough of myself and was I too busy being selfish? But for some reason, those thoughts seem fleeting because stupidly, I feel like I have so much life ahead of me (when it's really already more than half over).
Of course, the thread was mainly a sociopolitical comment about those that do have children and probably actually shouldn't, which is the exact opposite of what some of our elders and churches taught us. That thread surprised me in the level of passion in the responses. It brought out some emotional reactions that I wasn't expecting. I was struck dumb by some of them.
Anyway, I don't know what to tell you, but I can tell you that you are valid in your own existence. You need not justify a life's path to anybody but yourself, really, and also those that you love, of course. I hope you find solace in that.
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FairWarning
Footballguy
It is a very tough issue. Personally I hope there is assisted suicide if I ever reach the condition my mother was in at her end. I remember the Christmas party at the Alzheimer cottage last year. There were a couple of women that had no family at it, it was so sad. I had them come to our table and everything worked out. Ironically, within a month, they passed away, and so did my mother. It’s something I think of every day.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Some of my worst memories in my life (maybe my absolute worst) were visiting my dad's mom in the nursing home as she deteriorated from Alzheimers. I was pretty young, maybe 5? I didn't really even know her very well since they lived in Florida so I hadn't met her too many times. I am really dreading the point in life when my parents and in-laws lose their ability to care for themselves. Unfortunately, my MIL is creeping into that now. She got COVID like 18 months ago and it scrambled her brain. She can't remember anything, handle even simple tasks like washing dishes. It's bad.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
Right with you there.
BeTheMatch
Footballguy
Do it
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
As I’ve mentioned in this thread, I returned to the PRRC* program at the VA a little over a month ago. So far, not so good.
Meds - went back on Sertraline (Zoloft) 3 weeks ago. Takes about 4-6 weeks to build up your serotonin levels and notice a difference. I feel fatigued all the time. It’s been really messing up my digestive system; I have diarrhea 5-6 days a week.
Therapy - we have about 30 different modules per week, each lasting around 50 minutes. Though some stuff is helpful I’m disappointed in my talk therapy so far. Group is always going off the rails; we have too many in the group and need to split it up to 2-3 smaller groups. I’ve brought that up with staff and to the director in our weekly Community Meeting but doesn’t seem like it’ll change anytime soon. For my one-on-one I requested either our FT social worker or one of the two psychologists. Instead they assigned me an intern who will be with us for 6 months. That’s about how long it takes me to get comfortable with a therapist.
Cohorts - when I was in the program before (Jan 2020-Jan 2022), we had older veterans. Plus there were a lot more people…like 35 full-time and 15 part-time. People took their treatment seriously, a lot of people came in early, there was a lot of camaraderie.
Post-pandemic, there are less than 25 in the program and rarely do more than 16-18 show up on any given day. We’re in person M-Tu-W, remote Th-F. The virtual sessions are usually 10 or less per module and maybe two people keep their cameras on. The veterans are way younger than before and it’s darn near a drop in program. They chose not to push veterans to adhere to any standard in terms of attendance. Go to the modules you think are helpful, come when you are able.
Frustrating. I’ll stick with it but it doesn’t feel like I’m making any progress so far and the program is just way different than the one I found so helpful just a couple years ago.
*psychosocial rehabilitation & recovery center
Meds - went back on Sertraline (Zoloft) 3 weeks ago. Takes about 4-6 weeks to build up your serotonin levels and notice a difference. I feel fatigued all the time. It’s been really messing up my digestive system; I have diarrhea 5-6 days a week.
Therapy - we have about 30 different modules per week, each lasting around 50 minutes. Though some stuff is helpful I’m disappointed in my talk therapy so far. Group is always going off the rails; we have too many in the group and need to split it up to 2-3 smaller groups. I’ve brought that up with staff and to the director in our weekly Community Meeting but doesn’t seem like it’ll change anytime soon. For my one-on-one I requested either our FT social worker or one of the two psychologists. Instead they assigned me an intern who will be with us for 6 months. That’s about how long it takes me to get comfortable with a therapist.
Cohorts - when I was in the program before (Jan 2020-Jan 2022), we had older veterans. Plus there were a lot more people…like 35 full-time and 15 part-time. People took their treatment seriously, a lot of people came in early, there was a lot of camaraderie.
Post-pandemic, there are less than 25 in the program and rarely do more than 16-18 show up on any given day. We’re in person M-Tu-W, remote Th-F. The virtual sessions are usually 10 or less per module and maybe two people keep their cameras on. The veterans are way younger than before and it’s darn near a drop in program. They chose not to push veterans to adhere to any standard in terms of attendance. Go to the modules you think are helpful, come when you are able.
Frustrating. I’ll stick with it but it doesn’t feel like I’m making any progress so far and the program is just way different than the one I found so helpful just a couple years ago.
*psychosocial rehabilitation & recovery center
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
What am I a one man band in here?
****************
This week was a humdinger which ended with me the psych ward of the VA hospital.
Spoiler Alert: today’s narrative, disappointedly I’m sure, does not involve electroconvulsive therapy as that was largely (though not completely) discontinued in the mid-1970s.
What happened to me is my body had an adverse reaction to the SSRI (Zoloft) I was prescribed in mid-August. Unfortunately the antidepressant has been working a little too well. I suddenly (involuntarily and with little self-awareness) found myself lacking inhibitions and unable to effectively regulate emotions. This culminated with what in Veterans parlance we call a “mental health episode.” Not a full blown mental breakdown (whatever tf that means) but I was cognizant that I just haven’t been myself.
How that presented was my mind was always racing and full of constant intrusive thoughts. I have been doing OK in most 1-on-1 situations. But in my therapy groups - the modalities in my program include talk therapy, painting, drawing, glass fusion, dance therapy, drama, writing music, CBT, DBT, anger management, and more - I was interrupting friends, talking over others, being loud, at times making inappropriate jokes.
Afterwards I would ask myself “WTF is wrong with me that’snew not how I am.” Essentially I have a chemical imbalance. Nothing genetic, not a major disorder diagnosis, but I was experiencing symptoms similar to major disorders.
I have a fairly common condition known as hypo manic. Not bipolar or manic but simply temporarily behaving in a way inconsistent with my normal behavior due to how my body was reacting to my new Rx.
The fix, after spending a good amount of time with my psychiatrist, is to cut my SSRI in half. Concurrently I’ll start a microdose of Olanzapine for 30 days.
That should bring some balance back and calm me down. Just wanted to share just in case anyone else taking antidepressants has something similar happen to them.
Happy to answer any questions if you’re so inclined. If not, enjoy your weekend and thank you for reading my TedTalk.
****************
This week was a humdinger which ended with me the psych ward of the VA hospital.
Spoiler Alert: today’s narrative, disappointedly I’m sure, does not involve electroconvulsive therapy as that was largely (though not completely) discontinued in the mid-1970s.
What happened to me is my body had an adverse reaction to the SSRI (Zoloft) I was prescribed in mid-August. Unfortunately the antidepressant has been working a little too well. I suddenly (involuntarily and with little self-awareness) found myself lacking inhibitions and unable to effectively regulate emotions. This culminated with what in Veterans parlance we call a “mental health episode.” Not a full blown mental breakdown (whatever tf that means) but I was cognizant that I just haven’t been myself.
How that presented was my mind was always racing and full of constant intrusive thoughts. I have been doing OK in most 1-on-1 situations. But in my therapy groups - the modalities in my program include talk therapy, painting, drawing, glass fusion, dance therapy, drama, writing music, CBT, DBT, anger management, and more - I was interrupting friends, talking over others, being loud, at times making inappropriate jokes.
Afterwards I would ask myself “WTF is wrong with me that’s
I have a fairly common condition known as hypo manic. Not bipolar or manic but simply temporarily behaving in a way inconsistent with my normal behavior due to how my body was reacting to my new Rx.
The fix, after spending a good amount of time with my psychiatrist, is to cut my SSRI in half. Concurrently I’ll start a microdose of Olanzapine for 30 days.
That should bring some balance back and calm me down. Just wanted to share just in case anyone else taking antidepressants has something similar happen to them.
Happy to answer any questions if you’re so inclined. If not, enjoy your weekend and thank you for reading my TedTalk.
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Long Ball Larry
Footballguy
That’s interesting because I found Zoloft to raise my floor but put up a lot of walls and filters for me.
I really really wish that there were some good way to scientifically measure an individual’s chemical imbalance.
Glad you were able to get the help and support you needed. The lions will need that from you from this year!
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Usually they’re detrimental to my mental health but the last 15 games have brought our house so much joy! lol
Going to the Ravens game in Baltimore next weekend. First ever road game.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Are you still doing the group and 1:1 that posted about Sep 4? If so, has that improved?
mr. furley
Footballguy
wife has been tired for years. just kind of hard to motivate to do anything.. rather just sleep or sit on the couch all the time. struggles to stay awake after like 9. tired mid-day for no reason. issues with aches and soreness kind of spiking in the afternoon and persisting through the evening.
went to a doctor years ago and he then, and consistently since then, said "you're not getting enough vitamin B or D in your diet". but she can't take a multi-vitamin for other reasons and didn't want to just take B and D separately "because it's expensive".
a couple weeks ago she started taking vitamin B and D (i'm assuming, as with most things, her best friend told her started taking B & D) and voila, new wife.
went to a doctor years ago and he then, and consistently since then, said "you're not getting enough vitamin B or D in your diet". but she can't take a multi-vitamin for other reasons and didn't want to just take B and D separately "because it's expensive".
a couple weeks ago she started taking vitamin B and D (i'm assuming, as with most things, her best friend told her started taking B & D) and voila, new wife.
Ministry of Pain
Footballguy
I definitely have mental health challenges and i can't imagine folks here would find that hard to believe
I prefer a wholistic approach but I'm lazy and don't carve out the time to explore things like perhaps 20 minutes of yoga or meditation in the morning.
But I can find hours and hours in my schedule when I want to play tennis...priorities
I will say that when i eat a lot of sugar or I can go thru a laundry list of foods that impact my personality and just overall mental well being.
I did try a prescription drug around 20 years ago when I lived in California and the side effects weren't good so my wife took them away from me
I know what sets me off and I try to avoid those things
Crowds of people, Traffic/Driving, my wife emasculating me every once in a while or what I perceive as emasculation.
Restaurants and the folks who work in them so i mostly eat at home these days.
Anything where I am at the mercy of others is unsettling for me.
Open cans of tuna in smelly oil inside a movie theater
Swedish fish being priced wrong at Walgreens
-i won't go into a grocery store at Noon on Sundays, absolute murder trying to get in and out so i shop at night during the week after 7-8 o'clock, no one in the store
I try and not make my issues everybody else's by simply avoiding a lot of society that many of you feel free to operate in.
I haven't been on an airplane in about 4-5 years, wife would like to travel outside the United States, that's starting to become an issue I think
I haven't been to a movie theater since "The Irishman" right before the Covid
I am going to venture out to see Scorsese's new movie, I promised the Mrs we'd go.
I prefer a wholistic approach but I'm lazy and don't carve out the time to explore things like perhaps 20 minutes of yoga or meditation in the morning.
But I can find hours and hours in my schedule when I want to play tennis...priorities
I will say that when i eat a lot of sugar or I can go thru a laundry list of foods that impact my personality and just overall mental well being.
I did try a prescription drug around 20 years ago when I lived in California and the side effects weren't good so my wife took them away from me
I know what sets me off and I try to avoid those things
Crowds of people, Traffic/Driving, my wife emasculating me every once in a while or what I perceive as emasculation.
Restaurants and the folks who work in them so i mostly eat at home these days.
Anything where I am at the mercy of others is unsettling for me.
Open cans of tuna in smelly oil inside a movie theater
Swedish fish being priced wrong at Walgreens
-i won't go into a grocery store at Noon on Sundays, absolute murder trying to get in and out so i shop at night during the week after 7-8 o'clock, no one in the store
I try and not make my issues everybody else's by simply avoiding a lot of society that many of you feel free to operate in.
I haven't been on an airplane in about 4-5 years, wife would like to travel outside the United States, that's starting to become an issue I think
I haven't been to a movie theater since "The Irishman" right before the Covid
I am going to venture out to see Scorsese's new movie, I promised the Mrs we'd go.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Yes, it’s all part of the same comprehensive program. It is a holistic approach to learning how to better manage your mental illness. It is designed specifically to open up new neural pathways for combat veterans who have the trinity (anxiety, depression, PTSD.) Often other comorbidities present: panic attacks, social anxiety, et al.
Groups have been great. Really having fun with some of them (acting, creative writing, dance therapy, poetry, songwriting., et al.) I know it sounds like summer camp but with PTSD you stuck in the same place. I've had the same intrusive thoughts for 37 years, 6 months and 17 days. I relive that event and every other awkward or painful moment of my life likes to join the party. By using creative therapy, what they are trying to do is interrupt automatic thoughts and negative self image.
As our program director likes to say, "what we do here is therapy in disguise." All I know is it's effective even if I cannot fully articulate the why behind that.
Socrates11
Footballguy
I've seen a therapist before but lost him due to insurance changing. Thought ok, I should be good. Nope, the ex messed with my head today and mental health took a dive so I thought "time to get a new therapist". Holy smokes, so many offices were saying all booked for months, not taking new clients. After 5 or 6 calls I still hadn't found someone. sigh.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Yes, I'm still training the psychiatry intern who we have; she will be switching her first name to doctor next year. She is perfectly competent, but it's just not a good fit. I have had some effective sessions but essentially I just don't connect with her. I've been very frank with her and explained to her the monotone voice (does. not. vary. pitch. and. pace.) is not helpful, and while she may possess empathy, she doesn't convey it. Fish eyes. I have had a few therapists and have talked about this with quite a few veterans. For a therapist to be effective, the clinician also has to exhibit vulnerability. There is a trust building process. Man, if I'm not getting anything from you, I don't feel like I'm going to be able to open up and go deep bc you are not invested.
I've given it a fair shake through 4-5 sessions but it's not working. I will likely request a change next week. Our program director is a mensch, he was super helpful on Friday and followed up with phone calls and emails to make sure I got the help I needed from the ER psychiatrist. The staff at the VA - at least in the program I utilize - man alive, they aren't just punching in and punching out. They are invested in the veterans and collectively the program functions very much like a surrogate family.
FTR I'm the dad.
- "Omar, put your phone away, please be present for your fellow veterans."
- "Paul, it's OK if you're 5 minutes late, I know you walk slow with two bad knees, but just come in quiet and sit down. The etiquette here is to not interrupt or greet your friends. You don't know what was being said, someone is in pain and they don't need you breaking that up OK pard?"
- "Liba - that's inappropriate. We have female staff and female veterans, that's not the world anymore. I don't care, you need to zip it or step outside but you can't say things like that, OK brother?"
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BobbyLayne
Footballguy
that sucks brother man. keep grinding. you are worth it.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
That's a lot to unpack. Years ago I met up with you and the Mrs for a beer in NYC, and shockingly, your online persona is not all that different from you IRL. But of course I only saw a brief snapshot, I don't know you that well MoP.
I would say most people would benefit from therapy and from what I have observed you may have some low level rage issues or difficulty regulating your emotions in the moment. Which is super common and most folks just tell themselves "that's just how I am." But you can be a better version of yourself if you put in the work.
But it takes intentionality. You won't accidentally fall into it.
Wish you all the best, brother man.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
My (amazing) wife gets mad at me all the time for similar things. She will make a suggestion about hydration or scheduling a healthy mid-afternoon snack or cutting back on my caffeine intake. I politely nod and do nothing. Then a few weeks or months later I'll hear the same thing from credentialled staff at the VA and come home excited like I've discovered plutonium. "Honey, guess what?"
Thankfully she is not a violent person.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
This was a little to vague to decipher, but IME we all have different chemistry, experiences, levels of distress tolerance.....we have much in common and these threads are helpful, but the treatment for each of us might look a bit different.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
That all sucks. Here's hoping the docs can resolve some of that.
At least the only Jeopardy you are missing mostly makes me yell at the TV.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
To be entirely fair, this makes pretty much everyone stabby.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
oh I was in and out of the ER in maybe two hours, and then another 10-15 minutes waiting for my Rx to be filled. the VA medical center in Brooklyn is a beehive M-Th but Fridays it's a bit of a ghost town; many staff and programs are on a 4-day week. my program director (a psychologist) had emailed the psychiatrist on call in the ER to help streamline the process.
the reality is I'm still hypo manic this a.m. but the awesome news is 1) we now know what is wrong with me & how to correct that, and 2) my poor wifey only has to put up with my crazy level madness for another 15-20 days (that's how long until my chemistry should balance out.) I'm fully embracing my ****ed-up-ness; one positive aspect of manic is my creative juices are on overdrive. writing poetry and music and painting at a breakneck pace. like, literally lol. lawd I'm a hot mess sometimes. but on the right path and a good trajectory when you pull back and see the bigger picture.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Sucks about your therapist. I would like to think it's something they can grow into as they evolve in their career but part of me fears it's just their nature and it's how they will always be. Maybe some people respond better to that but I am totally with you, I would absolutely hate talking to someone who is so blank. I am not a therapist per se but I certainly do quite a bit of therapy in my career and there is a time and place for that kind of robotic approach, I don't think it's how you generally build a long term positive relationship. Like you said, the best way to gain someone's trust is to trust them, the best way to get someone to be vulnerable is to vulnerable with them. I know this isn't totally true but I think it's maybe partially true that it doesn't matter what kind of fancy psychology and methods someone knows, what really helps people is having someone they trust and respect who hears them out, makes them feel seen , is able to get deep with them and tells them the hard things that maybe other people aren't willing to say. I know there are definite strategies and approaches that work better for certain mental health concerns but you are totally right that in the end it's ultimately about the relationship.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Connection is crucial. What that means though is different for each veteran. It's more art than science when it comes to treatment sometimes.
On our program's staff we have a diverse set of personalities. I've learned that is by design; different personalities mesh well with different types of therapists. We have one woman who has a nursing background who helps us with nutrition and understanding our prescriptions and the sort of mechanical aspects of managing your mental health. She loves the sound of her own voice; she expects short or monosyllabic answers from the veterans bc she wants to explore every aspect and nuance of the topic she is lecturing on. I could never work with her (she is my neighbor and we see her walking her dog, charming person, my wife loves her, but just wouldn't be a fit.) But some of the veterans respond very well to her. She has a matronly way and some of the guys will bring in their wives to their 1-on-1 session to help the spouse out. Another peer counselor we have is a female veteran and former Army Master Sergeant. She bosses people and orders them what they need to be doing if they plan on getting better. Again, bad fit for me. But for veterans who are somewhat passive and have gone through life respecting authority and following orders, she is perfect.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Yeah, I see the same thing in teaching. There are of course some teachers every kid loves and some every kid hates but for the most part it's mixed. There are teachers who are some kids just adore and then another group of kids despise and it's just that odd connection of personalities that makes or breaks things for people.
Long Ball Larry
Footballguy
Can you try betterhelp or something like that? I have no experience with it, but it seems like something like that would have a lot of different options to check out efficiently, as opposed to trying offices one by one.
Long Ball Larry
Footballguy
Sure, I wasn’t trying to invalidate your experience or anything. It just struck me as so different from what I have experienced going on and coming off of zoloft, but of course medications for mental health are so far from an exact science and everyone has their own unique experience.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Oh gosh, it never occurred to me to take it that way. I'm sorry if it came across as defensive or shade, not my intent. But appreciate you clarifying LBL. Have always enjoyed your posts.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
It truly sucks how tough it is to find good mental health care and it's obvious our society is total **** that so many people need it. I don't we are very good at being friends and family to each other. I don't know what it is exactly- too busy? too distracted and preoccupied? too repressed? So many of us just don't even have a person in our life that we can just have real talk with, cry with, express anger without fear, etc.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Wifey uses better help. Been tough finding good therapists; she has dropped a few, and one took on a heavier case load at a traditional practice & she didn’t give much advance notice. She eventually found a good one.
I find virtual sessions are functional but for me personally I prefer in person. Wifey loves the convenience and probably will always do virtual counseling.
We also have vastly different needs. She is trying to find the right balance between passivity and aggression, she wants to be more assertive and understand her mood swings. No mental illness other than mild depression or generalized anxiety.
I have a mental illness with multiple comorbities. PTSD is a complex illness that brings along a laundry list of other issues. Yet, with effort, intentionality, and utilizing skills / tools I have picked up, it is manageable. I can live a productive and meaningful life. I know my why. If I was no longer here there would be a massive hole in others lives. I’m worth it, but more importantly, my kids and grandkids need papa BL at his best.
Some of my veteran colleagues have schizophrenia or bipolar or other major disorders which make for a poor quality of life. I have a battle, they have a war. Self-harm and suicidal thoughts have larger implications than negative automatic thoughts. I can manage on low dose, low side affect medications. They have to take powerful drugs which dull their mental acuity and make it difficult to concentrate or have clarity of thought.
PTSD is no joke, but my outcomes are not that bad viewed from the continuum of what it could be.
Long Ball Larry
Footballguy
i think that’s probably true but I’m not sure whether it’s really that different from times past. It is true that we are all more atomized and disconnected from others (despite online connections), but even when people had a lot more social interaction, I’m not sure that people were that much better at dealing with other peoples issues in the past.
My suspicion is that people today are so overloaded with information that they get taxed from making sense of everything they take in. The amount of information that people see just scrolling their timelines on social media for like 15 minutes might be more than what people took in in a week 50 years ago. And so much of it is irrelevant to the present reality for each of us, yet our brains still have to do something with it. And this makes it difficult for us to spend energy on really connecting with other people or having the bandwidth to be truly and openly empathetic towards others.
I don’t know if there is a direct connection here, but I definitely believe that the amount of information and stimuli that people are exposed to daily is more than they can handle, whether they know it or not, and fundamentally affects their mental maps and experiences.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Yeah I don’t think we as Americans were better at it in the recent past. Might have even been worse. I don’t know for sure but I do think there are probably some cultures that handle those things better (and some that handle them worse for that matter).
AAABatteries
Footballguy
Have a good friend who is trying to get some help for one of their kids and they can’t find anybody who comes recommended because they are so booked up - months and months before they can get in to be seen.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Happens alll the time. We have a full time social worker at our HS but that’s just not enough. They are constantly so busy putting out fires and attending meetings that it’s so hard for them to do basic maintenance. We just need more people, plain and simple. As much as I really really really don’t want to go back to school, I’m considering doing something in the realm of substance use related teen based therapy when I retire from teaching. The part that’s annoying is that while of course I have a lot to learn (who doesn’t) but getting the proper credentials for that career is going to be 90% paying/doing work for things I’m already quite familiar with. I’m basically a trained counselor/therapist but just not technically as a teacher for people with “emotional impairments”.
Have a good friend who is trying to get some help for one of their kids and they can’t find anybody who comes recommended because they are so booked up - months and months before they can get in to be seen.
The Duff Man
Footballguy
Kudos to those getting help on this issue and to those keeping this thread alive.
Been thinking for a few months that it was time to get help and deal with childhood trauma that has held me back for 40 years.
I guess there is no time like the present.
Been thinking for a few months that it was time to get help and deal with childhood trauma that has held me back for 40 years.
I guess there is no time like the present.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Go man go
Lot of folks carrying around a CTE (childhood traumatic event) never do the work
Not just the stigma (that still exists? incredibly, yes) but bc we lie to ourselves “hey that was a long time, I’m OK now, it’s over, have to just put it me behind.” That **** stays with you until you get it out.
Proud of you @The Duff Man
nirad3
Footballguy
I probably know what the responses will be here, but my relationship with my therapist has gotten kind of stale. I've been going to him for over 9 years now and it's kind of the same thing every session. I like him a lot, it's like going to chat with a good friend for an hour, a friend with a lot of insight and suggestions. But I feel that for $40/hour it should almost be magical. Is it time to cut ties and try and find someone else?
I also feel the same way about my calls with my psychiatrist. I don't even talk to the doctor... just nurse practitioner. She doesn't ask me anything except "how I'm doing with my medications". She refills them and then schedules me for two months out. Boom, $40. Aren't psychiatrists supposed to be helping out more than that? Or have they just become de facto "doctors of the mind"?
I also feel the same way about my calls with my psychiatrist. I don't even talk to the doctor... just nurse practitioner. She doesn't ask me anything except "how I'm doing with my medications". She refills them and then schedules me for two months out. Boom, $40. Aren't psychiatrists supposed to be helping out more than that? Or have they just become de facto "doctors of the mind"?
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