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My life after the passing of my wife - 6 years later!!! (3 Viewers)

Just saw this.  I was going update soon.  I will provide a more detailed update after the weekend.  I’m away on a quick road trip to ME for my brothers step sons wedding.

Until then. Everything seems to be going well.  Health is good.  Work is work.  Lol

My son is good.  Getting ready to graduate culinary school.

Personal life is good.  3 months into a new relationship.  Really like the direction it’s going.

All in all life is on a good roll.

 
cheeseypoof said:
Just saw this.  I was going update soon.  I will provide a more detailed update after the weekend.  I’m away on a quick road trip to ME for my brothers step sons wedding.

Until then. Everything seems to be going well.  Health is good.  Work is work.  Lol

My son is good.  Getting ready to graduate culinary school.

Personal life is good.  3 months into a new relationship.  Really like the direction it’s going.

All in all life is on a good roll.
Click to expand...
?‍♀️?

 
Ok here is a more detailed update.

June 24th will be 2 years since my wife passed away.

June 17th will be 5 months since my surgery.

Start with my son.  He was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic in October.  He's doing very well managing his sugar.  He is about ready to graduate Culinary School at the end of June/beginning of July.  His class leaves for a week in England the last week of June (part of the tuition).  He's going to a Gordon Ramsey Michelin 3 star restaurant for dinner/wine flight while there.  If he has free time and can work it out, he wants to watch a World Cup game in an English Pub.  Next step is for him to find a job.  Claims he's looking.  We'll see.  LOL

Now for me.  Think I posted this, but I'll recap (don't feel like rereading the thread).  In January I had Open Right Radical Nephrectomy (removal of the right kidney due to Renal Cell Carcinoma) and partial right Colectomy (removal of a mass in the right side of my colon, non cancerous).  In and out of the hospital 5 days.  Out of work for 5 weeks.  First set of scans post surgery in April were good.  No evidence of any remaining cancer.  Next scan are in July (due to my increased risk of recurrence they are doing more frequent monitoring.  Standard is every 6 months, I going every 4 for at least the first year).  I'm feeling really good.  Knock on wood.  

Work is basically the same.  Good days and irritating days, but overall I enjoy going to work.

Biggest change is in my personal life.  After a failed attempt at dating in the fall (short 2 month relationship I thought was going well when she pulled the plug.  She broke it off just as my health issues were emerging.  Not sure it had any thing to do with it, or if it was coincidence.  But that's neither here or there. Water under the bridge at this point). So after that, I was focusing on my health.  

With that being said, my son and I went to visit a friend in the hospital in NYC at the end of February.  While in NY, we took the opportunity to drive out to Long Island and watch 2 of his friends (Maddie and Amanda) that bowl for their college in a tournament.  After the tournament he and I went to dinner with the parents of his friends (the team went back to their hotel, so just the parents went out).  Drove home after dinner and thought nothing of it.  Got a text from Maddie's mother (Lisa) saying Caroline (Amanda's mother) was asking about me when they went back to their hotel after dinner.  I've known Caroline for a couple of years as my son and Amanda have bowled together and against one another.  The following morning I got another text from Lisa saying Caroline was asking about me again at breakfast.  Maddie and Amanda's team was bowling in another tournament in South Jersey the following weekend.  I thought about what to do that entire week and ultimately decided I would ask Caroline to dinner just to see if there was anything there.

That Monday we went to dinner.  It went well and we agreed to go out the following week.  Well we've been dating since (3 months today).  It's going very well.  We just returned from a very short trip to Maine to attend the wedding of my brother's step son.  First time traveling together.  Spent 48 hours together and we're still speaking.  LOL  We've talked and we both like the direction it's going and have been introducing the other to our respective family and friends.  We're moving a little slower than I would like, but admit it's probably better this way.  

So overall I really like the direction my life is taking right now.  Just hoping the positive continues.  I've had enough of the negative for a while.

Cheesypoof  

 
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cheeseypoof said:
Ok here is a more detailed update.

June 24th will be 2 years since my wife passed away.

June 17th will be 5 months since my surgery.

Start with my son.  He was diagnosed as a type diabetic in October.  He's doing very managing his sugar.  He is about ready to graduate Culinary School at the end of June/beginning of July.  His class leaves for a week in England the lat week of June (part of the tuition).  He's going to a Gordon Ramsey Michelin 3 star restaurant for dinner/wine flight while there.  If he has free time and can work it out, he wants to watch a World Cup game in an English Pub.  Next step is for him to find a job.  Claims he's looking.  We'll see.  LOL

Now for me.  Think I posted this, but I'll recap (don't feel like rereading the thread).  In January I had Open Right Radical Nephrectomy (removal of the right kidney due to Renal Cell Carcinoma) and partial right Colectomy (removal of a mass in the right side of my colon, non cancerous).  In and out of the hospital 5 days.  Out of work for 5 weeks.  First set of scans post surgery in April were good.  No evidence of any remaining cancer.  Next scan are in July (due to my increased risk of recurrence they are doing more frequent monitoring.  Standard is every 6 months, I going every 4 for at least the first year).  I'm feeling really good.  Knock on wood.  

Work is basically the same.  Good days and irritating days, but overall I enjoy going to work.

Biggest change is in my personal life.  After a failed attempt at dating in the fall (short 2 month relationship I thought was going well when she pulled the plug.  She broke it off just as my health issues were emerging.  Not sure it had any thing to do with it, or if it was coincidence.  But that's neither here or there. Water under the bridge at this point). So after that, I was focusing on my health.  

With that being said, my son and I went to visit a friend in the hospital in NYC at the end of February.  While in NY, we took the opportunity to drive out to Long Island and watch 2 of his friends (Maddie and Amanda) that bowl for their college in a tournament.  After the tournament he and I went to dinner with the parents of his friends (the team went back to their hotel, so just the parents went out).  Drove home after dinner and thought nothing of it.  Got a text from Maddie's mother (Lisa) saying Caroline (Amanda's mother) was asking about me when they went back to their hotel after dinner.  I've known Caroline for a couple of years as my son and Amanda have bowled together and agains one another.  The following morning I got another text from Lisa saying Carline was asking about me again at breakfast.  Maddie and Amanda's team was bowling in another tournament in South Jersey the following weekend.  I thought about what to do that entire week and ultimately decided I would ask Caroline to dinner just to see if there was anything there.

That Monday we went to dinner.  It went well and we agreed to go out the following week.  Well we've been dating since (3 months today).  It's going very well.  We just returned from a very short trip to Maine to attend the wedding of my brother's step son.  First time traveling together.  Spent 48 hours together and we're still speaking.  LOL  We've talked and we both like the direction it's going and have been introducing the other to our respective family and friends.  We're moving a little slower than I would like, but admit it's probably better this way.  

So overall I really like the direction my life is taking right now.  Just hoping the positive continues.  I've had enough of the negative for a while.

Cheesypoof  
Click to expand...
That's outstanding. Really happy for you, pal. :thumbup:

 
Awesome! Best to go slow in relationships. I don't get the rush in them unless the woman's bio clock is ticking, maybe..

So enjoy each day, one day at a time. As you know, something like a serious health issue can change things.

So happy for you! Take care, and contined good health and happy life wishes to you. Xxx

 
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CurlyNight said:
Awesome! Best to go slow in relationships. I don't get the rush in them unless the woman's bio clock is ticking, maybe..

So enjoy each day, one day at a time. As you know, something like a serious health issue can change things.

So happy for you! Take care, and contined good health and happy life wishes to you. Xxx
Click to expand...
Thank you.  I'm learning.  Patience isn't my strong suit!!!   :wall: :lmao: :thumbup:

 
Always keep your head up and have a good outlook on life.  If you don’t love yourself nobody will.  I have been following this since day one.  You  are a strong powerful man and don’t forget it.  Until you believe that, no one else will.  Keep that chin up and use this as a forum to show us how you do.  Thx for the update!

 
gianmarco said:
Utterly fantastic update. You've had enough downs that you deserve every up that comes your way and then some. 

May that arrow continue to point up for you every single day.
Click to expand...
Thank you!  :thumbup:

 
sbonomo said:
Always keep your head up and have a good outlook on life.  If you don’t love yourself nobody will.  I have been following this since day one.  You  are a strong powerful man and don’t forget it.  Until you believe that, no one else will.  Keep that chin up and use this as a forum to show us how you do.  Thx for the update!
Click to expand...
Thank you.  I’m trying!  :thumbup:

 
Glad to hear everything is going well.

I think your life over the past year is a great example on how things can (and do) get better. People just to hang in there and stay positive, even if it's difficult at times. Nice job.

 
eoMMan said:
Glad to hear everything is going well.

I think your life over the past year is a great example on how things can (and do) get better. People just to hang in there and stay positive, even if it's difficult at times. Nice job.
Click to expand...
Thank you.  Definitely difficult at times.

 
Today is 2 years since my wife passed.  If you’re interested here is my post on FB today:

So today marks the 2 year anniversary of Courtney’s passing.  It seems like it was just yesterday and an eternity at the same time.

I have discovered that the untimely passing of somebody you love with everything that you are changes you at a fundamental level.  I lost both my parents at a relatively young age (my father when I was 16 and my mother at 29) but those events, while heart breaking in their own right, seem to be a much different kind of loss.  Courtney’s passing rocked me to my core and changed me as a person.  Maybe I was too young and immature to recognize the significance at the times my parents passed.  I just don’t know.  But the loss of Courtney was different.

Life can be a difficult enough journey to travel with your soul mate, but going it solo after so many years of having the love of your life there with you has taken an inner strength I didn’t know I had.  I attribute that to watching and learning the way Courtney dealt with all the various medical hardships, one on top of another, without ever complaining and with a smile on her face that hid her constant struggles, especially the last few years.

These 2 years have been incredible difficult to navigate and would have been impossible with out the unconditional love and support of family and friends.  You provided me with a light to follow in my darkest of days.  You never let me give in to the pain, both emotional and physical.  You were always there with an encouraging word, a shoulder to cry on or a timely diversion.  Universally I was told that Courtney would want me to be happy.  That thought got me through some dark days.  Add my own personal medical issues and Ryan’s as well, it’s been a tumultuous 2 years.

I will never be the same person I was on that day (that person belonged to Courtney alone), but I believe I am a better person, albeit different, for having lived this reality.  I will never love somebody else the way I loved Courtney as that was a once in a lifetime love.  However, I do believe I can, and will, love again.  It will just be different, not better or worse, just different.

So 2 years later I’m in a good place in my life.  The milestone dates, like today, our anniversary, her birthday, etc. still make me sad and reflective but I’m doing well overall.  

I want to thank everybody for all you have done for me to get me to this point.  I truly appreciate and love you all.  I’d like to name you each individually but I’d miss some so I’ll just say thank you to everybody.  Thank you!!!

 
Well it's been an interesting 6 months.  Today (Christmas Eve) marks the 30 month point since my wife's passing.

Medically I think I'm doing good.  In July routine blood work as part of the post kidney cancer surveillance program my iron and hemoglobin were low.  The Oncologist sent me back to my GI doc for testing to see if there was any microscopic GI bleeds.  Also her sent me to an Endocrinologist for evaluation of a few nodules they saw on my thyroid.  He also had me start taking iron supplements.

So in the months of August-October I got to enjoy the following procedures:

Thyroid Ultrasound

Thyroid Biopsy (results were benign)

Repeat Colonoscopy

Repeat Upper Endoscopy

Small Bowel series X-ray

Capsule Endoscopy.

All of the test came back as normal with no GI bleeding sources found.  The iron pills seem to be working as my iron and hemoglobin are still low but much closer to normal than in July.  The CT scan in November did show a couple of lung nodules that had been present the entire time had gotten slightly bigger.  Still very small (less than 5mm).  They are to small to be biopsied.  The radiologist is concerned that it may be a recurrence of the cancer.  The Oncologist stepped up surveillance from every 4 months to every 3 months so I go back for new scans in March.  Trying not to whig out about it but it's still a scary proposition.

Personally, the past 6 months have been a roller coaster.  Shortly after my last update, the relationship with the woman I was dating started to unravel.  By the middle of October we had broken up.  Looking back after the fact I really don't think there was long term potential so it was for the best. It was a mutual decision so it was a very amicable parting.

Black Friday I got a friend request from a woman I dated for couple of months in the fall of 2017.  We started talking again.  We went out Wednesday night and have started dating again.  So we'll see what happens but it's all been very positive so far.

Overall, I'm in a good place.  Feeling optimistic about the coming year.

Merry Christmas Everybody

 
cheeseypoof said:
Well it's been an interesting 6 months.  Today (Christmas Eve) marks the 30 month point since my wife's passing.

Medically I think I'm doing good.  In July routine blood work as part of the post kidney cancer surveillance program my iron and hemoglobin were low.  The Oncologist sent me back to my GI doc for testing to see if there was any microscopic GI bleeds.  Also her sent me to an Endocrinologist for evaluation of a few nodules they saw on my thyroid.  He also had me start taking iron supplements.

So in the months of August-October I got to enjoy the following procedures:

Thyroid Ultrasound

Thyroid Biopsy (results were benign)

Repeat Colonoscopy

Repeat Upper Endoscopy

Small Bowel series X-ray

Capsule Endoscopy.

All of the test came back as normal with no GI bleeding sources found.  The iron pills seem to be working as my iron and hemoglobin are still low but much closer to normal than in July.  The CT scan in November did show a couple of lung nodules that had been present the entire time had gotten slightly bigger.  Still very small (less than 5mm).  They are to small to be biopsied.  The radiologist is concerned that it may be a recurrence of the cancer.  The Oncologist stepped up surveillance from every 4 months to every 3 months so I go back for new scans in March.  Trying not to whig out about it but it's still a scary proposition.

Personally, the past 6 months have been a roller coaster.  Shortly after my last update, the relationship with the woman I was dating started to unravel.  By the middle of October we had broken up.  Looking back after the fact I really don't think there was long term potential so it was for the best. It was a mutual decision so it was a very amicable parting.

Black Friday I got a friend request from a woman I dated for couple of months in the fall of 2017.  We started talking again.  We went out Wednesday night and have started dating again.  So we'll see what happens but it's all been very positive so far.

Overall, I'm in a good place.  Feeling optimistic about the coming year.

Merry Christmas Everybody
Click to expand...
Merry Christmas! May 2019 be better for you. Praying for tests to render good news! Xxx

 
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