21 unwritten rules of Air Travel (per Thrillist) (1 Viewer)

[Workhorse]

I agree 100% with the list except for this. And maybe farting on your way through first class. 

This week I flew in the back of the bus on a 6 hour EWR-LAX flight--first time in years I haven't been upgraded--while coming back from Barcelona.  Because I lift, my shoulders hang over the arm rest.  I sit in the aisle and lean out to limit my intrusion on the seat next to me.  I also sit at an angle so my arms aren't in the seat next to me....but to me, any man sitting in middle seat is a moron.  Middle seats are for women and children.  Because a man was stupid enough to choose a middle seat, there is no "right to arm rest."  You do the best you can to accommodate each other.  My seatmate and I shared; he reclined back and took the 'back' while I sat at an angle and dangled my arms over the front (never touching the arm rest). I think common courtesy goes along way, and most of this list is really just being courteous to each other....but none of this "middle gets arm rest" nonsense.

LOOK AT ME!  I WORK OUT AND HAVE MASSIVE PYTHONS!

Keep your roid racks off of my armrest, Hulk Hogan.

 

[Osaurus]

some fun turbulence right now into Vegas. 

#8?

 

[5Rings]

LOOK AT ME!  I WORK OUT AND HAVE MASSIVE PYTHONS!

Keep your roid racks off of my armrest, Hulk Hogan.

 

I'm curious, do you often choose a middle seat?  This was my first flight out of 75k miles this year not in first, and it was interesting to see how many men were in middle seats.

 

[Workhorse]

I'll add another:  If you are Chatty Cathy with a passenger next to you and they do any of these things:

(1) Start yawning

(2) Reach for their headphones

(3) Pull out a book

(4) open up a laptop, tablet or other electronic device

Guess what? The conversation is over. Shut your yap.

 

[Zegras11]

#8?

saving that for when I get off the plane. Will blame it on Bucky. 

 

[Workhorse]

 

I'm curious, do you often choose a middle seat?  This was my first flight out of 75k miles this year not in first, and it was interesting to see how many men were in middle seats.

It actually happens a bunch since I often fly last minute (with 1-3 days notice) on business when the flight is nearly sold out. At that point, there is no choice on seat selection so I'm stuck in the middle. I'd say at least every third flight I take.

 

[Doug B]

I have no idea what it means... not drunk?

"Turnt" seems to be a catch-all term for "just drunk/high enough", "ready to party", "gettin' loose", etc.

 

[kutta]

Oh, I'll show myself out. This list looks like it is for those suckers who fly coach 

 

[Rodrigo Duterte]

some fun turbulence right now into Vegas. 

Hopefully you're not on an afternoon flight on the way out gb.  Especially on a regional jet.  Got stuck there for two days this week.  The weather looks similar.

 

[eoMMan]

 

I'm curious, do you often choose a middle seat?  This was my first flight out of 75k miles this year not in first, and it was interesting to see how many men were in middle seats.

What about men that get the middle seat chosen for them? Are they morons too, Big Poppa Pump? 

I think 99% of guys prefer the window or aisle but sometimes you have no choice but to sit in the middle.

 

[Scoresman]

I always use this before a flight to get an idea of what to expect.

 

[avoiding injuries]

What about men that getI think 99% of guys prefer the window or aisle but sometimes you have no choice but to sit in the middle.

I guess I'm the 1%. If I'm in an aisle seat and the plane takes off with the middle seat open and someone in the window seat, I'll slide over to sit next to the other passenger. I feel safer sitting next to another person when I fly. 

 

[Zegras11]

saddest thing ever is getting off in Vegas and seeing people play the slots at the airport. 

 

[Short Corner]

saddest thing ever is getting off in Vegas and seeing people play the slots at the airport. 

Haven't been to the supermarket, have you?

 

[kutta]

saddest thing ever is getting off in Vegas and seeing people play the slots at the airport. 

Well, I'm an early airport arriver, so I do find myself throwing a hundy into the Wheel of Fortune machines at the airport now and then to kill some time. 

 

[5Rings]

What about men that get the middle seat chosen for them? Are they morons too, Big Poppa Pump? 

I think 99% of guys prefer the window or aisle but sometimes you have no choice but to sit in the middle.

I guess I'm used to choosing my seat, not sure why you are not.  Most airlines allow you to move seats once your ticket is booked.  But like Kutta, I'll show myself out

BPP, love it

 

[Jobber]

Any tips on saving on rental cars?

I always just use Kayak but didn't know if there was another trick I was missing.

I always book a day or two before I need it. And make sure to book a standard size car. Many times they are out of that size (because everyone books them) and you can just grab a larger car while paying the lesser price.

 

[jon_mx]

How do you post unwritten rules without writing them?

 

[Short Corner]

I always book a day or two before I need it. And make sure to book a standard size car. Many times they are out of that size (because everyone books them) and you can just grab a larger car while paying the lesser price.

Never take the upgrade special they are offering today.

 

[El Floppo]

How do you post unwritten rules without writing them?

you silently fume and then explode at transgressors.

 

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I'll add another:  If you are Chatty Cathy with a passenger next to you and they do any of these things:

(1) Start yawning

(2) Reach for their headphones

(3) Pull out a book

(4) open up a laptop, tablet or other electronic device

Guess what? The conversation is over. Shut your yap.

YES. 

Unless you are a smokeshow or a famous person, I have zero desire to talk to you on a plane. I will usually be wearing my headphones when boarding a plane even if I'm not listening to music, just in case I get sat next to aunt gertrude with her 6" thick photo album wallet, or Bob the Excitable MLM sales guy. 

 

[Zegras11]

Well, I'm an early airport arriver, so I do find myself throwing a hundy into the Wheel of Fortune machines at the airport now and then to kill some time. 

Do you ever win?

 

[tommyboy]

I fly all the time. None of this is a surprise, but so many people lack common sense...

 

[Capella]

If a reclining seat causes you so much discomfort that you are going to be a ##### about it, you should be the one upgrading to economy-plus or business class.  As much as they nickel and dime you these days, they should really charge a premium for larger travelers.

Has nothing to do with being large. Could be fat tall or skinny, it's a huge #### you to everybody. 

And they do often charge fat people a second seat fee. 

 

[the rover]

Any tips on saving on rental cars?

I always just use Kayak but didn't know if there was another trick I was missing.

Turo.  

 

[Steve]

And they do often charge fat people a second seat fee. 

I didn't know that? Links?

 

[Short Corner]

Has nothing to do with being large. Could be fat tall or skinny, it's a huge #### you to everybody. 

And they do often charge fat people a second seat fee. 

My point still stands.  If you are large, fat, tall, skinny, pick whatever adjective you want.  If it bugs you, upgrade

 

[Zegras11]

Haven't been to the supermarket, have you?

who goes to a supermarket in Vegas?

 

[Short Corner]

who goes to a supermarket in Vegas?

Nobody.  It's one of society's great mysteries that they stay in business.

 

[Capella]

I didn't know that? Links?

This seems to have most of the major policies:

http://www.independenttraveler.com/travel-tips/none/airline-obesity-policies

 

[Steve]

This seems to have most of the major policies:

http://www.independenttraveler.com/travel-tips/none/airline-obesity-policies

and how often do obese people have to buy 2 seats? I have not heard of that happening. 

 

[DallasDMac]

and how often do obese people have to buy 2 seats? I have not heard of that happening. 

I have a nephew who isn't really obese, he's just big! He has to do it quite often. And unfortunately, his job requires him to fly a lot. So I guess it is on the company dime.

 

[dickey moe]

#8 

Sitting in coach on a flight to DC one time, they had served an egg sandwich or some similar monstrosity. I was hungry, so I ate it. About 5 minutes later out seeped one of smelliest sulphuric farts ever emitted by man. This was simply not one to be controlled. It was bad enough where I wouldn't cop up to it. Curiously, the others in my row either had a bad sense of smell or were just being polite - they exhibited no obvious reaction. Then, two dudes in the row in front of me began to sniff like meerkats and looked at each other. The first one said, "That's just ####### WRONG" and the other one simply uttered "Jesus Christ." I had to bury my face in my SkyMall mag so no one could see me busting up.

Safe travels, everyone.

 

[Capella]

and how often do obese people have to buy 2 seats? I have not heard of that happening. 

No idea. I just know about it because Kevin Smith got tossed from a flight and he threw a ####storm on twitter. 

 

[Scoresman]

I'm surprised we dont hear more news stories of fights or disagreements due to obese people taking half of another seat.  

 

[bagger]

Agree with all of this except not being rude to TSA agents. #### those mall cops who are on a power trip barking orders at civilized people. Be polite to passengers at all times. Your other alternative would be selling meth or working at Taco Bell so be grateful for your cush job not stopping terrorism but shaking down old ladies.

 

[bagger]

The author actually missed one that is happening with scary regularity...don't watch apps/videos without headsets. Nobody wants to hear whatever dreck you are watching:

 

[Dedfin]

They are banned by the airlines however I've heard they work well. 

Well ####.  I was gonna buy one.

 

[Scoresman]

As much as I hate people who recline, I'd feel like an even bigger doosh using one of those things.

 

[Reaper]

Has nothing to do with being large. Could be fat tall or skinny, it's a huge #### you to everybody. 

And they do often charge fat people a second seat fee. 

Ridiculous..... The seats shouldn't recline at all If they weren't made for the vast majority to be comfortable....

They do recline....

I Recline. 

 

[bagger]

I'm surprised we dont hear more news stories of fights or disagreements due to obese people taking half of another seat.  

First thing I do when I sit down is lower the arm rest...have had fatties in the past ooze into my seat with it up and then you can't put it down cramming me into the other arm rest.

 

[bagger]

Ridiculous..... The seats shouldn't recline at all If they weren't made for the vast majority to be comfortable....

They do recline....

I Recline. 

Congrats on being a doosh I guess?

 

[massraider]

2 Heineken plus one muscle relaxer when they start boarding.  Will be sleeping before the dang seat belt video. 

This should be on the list.

 

[Ron Swanson]

I guess I'm the 1%. If I'm in an aisle seat and the plane takes off with the middle seat open and someone in the window seat, I'll slide over to sit next to the other passenger. I feel safer sitting next to another person when I fly. 

I pray to all that is holy I am never on a flight where someone does this to me.

 

[Scoresman]

I pray to all that is holy I am never on a flight where someone does this to me.

I'm hoping it was a schtick post.  If not, he must get the dirtiest of looks every time he does that.

 

[Short Corner]

Congrats on being a doosh I guess?

He paid for that space.  If it's dooshy to use it, more power to him.

 

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First thing I do when I sit down is lower the arm rest...have had fatties in the past ooze into my seat with it up and then you can't put it down cramming me into the other arm rest.

I keep a small "radiation blocking panel" in my laptop bag that's about 1/4" thick, a couple  inches larger than my 13" macbook pro, and pretty sturdy. GF got it for me to protect me from radiation I guess. 

If I have an obese person next to me I will place it on the side of my seat along the armrest extending vertically, creating a 6-7" tall "wall" flush with my side of the armest. I've only had to deploy it once... but it was immensely helpful. The 400ish lb woman sitting next to me who was spilling into my seat looked at me incredulously at first, as if I had some nerve, then got a bit haughty.

I just put my headphones in, closed my eyes, and enjoyed the flight without an unwanted Jello Lapdance. 

 

[sbonomo]

I keep a small "radiation blocking panel" in my laptop bag that's about 1/4" thick and pretty sturdy. GF got it for me to protect me from radiation I guess. 

If I have an obese person next to me I will place it along the armrest extending upward, creating a 6-7" tall "wall" flush with my side of the armest. I've only had to deploy it once... but it was immensely helpful. The 400ish lb woman sitting next to me who was spilling into my seat looked at me incredulously at first, as if I had some nerve, then got a bit haughty.

I just put my headphones in, closed my eyes, and enjoyed the flight without an unintentional Jello Lapdance. 

  I have to find one of these.  Luckily, flying from the West Coast, i don't see as many fatty's as the middle part of the country.  That is good humor thought.

 

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  I have to find one of these.  Luckily, flying from the West Coast, i don't see as many fatty's as the middle part of the country.  That is good humor thought.

Link added to OP.

The GF (name redacted to protect the innocent) got it for me because I'll often work with my laptop on my chest while laying on the couch at night. She's convinced it's going to give me heart cancer or something (it DOES get pretty hot sometimes when working on huge photoshop files)... so she got it for me. 

 

[Leroy Hoard]

The author actually missed one that is happening with scary regularity...don't watch apps/videos without headsets. Nobody wants to hear whatever dreck you are watching:

Right up there with guy in parking lot sharing whatever horid talk radio he is listening to at full volume.