6 year old walking to the bus? (1 Viewer)

[ChiefD]

It only takes one incident, however remotely likely, to change yours and your family's lives forever.

There are some sick bastards out there who would love to hear that children are walking alone. It just isn't worth the risk IMO, especially when the risk is so easily mitigated.

This. I would never live with myself if something happened where I could have controlled it in the first place.

I understand this, but at some point you can't raise kids with this mentality. You could always 'have controlled it' better.

I agree. But, to me, age 6 is way too young for this. Forget the distance from the bus to the home. It just takes a second for something really really bad to happen. And if it happens when I could have walked 1 block to get my child, then I may as well be dead myself.

For me and my wife, this is BY FAR the toughest thing we have to deal with. We understand that kids need to learn and spread their wings, so to speak. But I'm going to be real careful in how I do that.

Ha! Just wait until you hit the teenage years!

I'm trying not to think about that.

 

[Amused to Death]

Yup, wait till they get a driver's license. There's ALWAYS fear.

This. My son got his license earlier this year. He's a good, responsible kid, but I still hate it that he's out there driving around. That said, what are you going to do? Everybody has to learn to drive sometime.

My 19 year old daughter had 1 serious accident. Totaled the car but not really hurt. That night, I would have traded for the 6 year old riding her bike around the block in an instant. Every night I'm the last person to go to bed. I wait for both of them to be in the house with the front door locked. Can't sleep if 1 of them is still out on the road.

 

[johnnycakes]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

From beautiful and rural North Conway, NH.

 

[eoMMan]

Too young. No.

 

[Jayrok]

It only takes one incident, however remotely likely, to change yours and your family's lives forever.

There are some sick bastards out there who would love to hear that children are walking alone. It just isn't worth the risk IMO, especially when the risk is so easily mitigated.

This. I would never live with myself if something happened where I could have controlled it in the first place.

I understand this, but at some point you can't raise kids with this mentality. You could always 'have controlled it' better.

She is 6 years old. I don't think you are teaching her bad habits if you simply meet her at the bus stop for her first year of school. There will be plenty of teaching moments for you and her in her childhood, but at this age, you are keeping her a bit safer while she adapts to her new social surroundings. Ask her all about her day at school on the walk home. As she gets a little older and learns some safe habits (that you teach her) while walking on her own, give her a little space. I think she will respond well and, IMO, it is just another part of good parenting at such a tender age.

That's fine if that's what the kid wants, but OP says that his daughter has asked to be allowed to walk by herself. If the kid wants a little independence, that's great too.

yes, a little independence is great and it is cool that she asked for it. So there are factors that would be involved in my decision if this were me. Has she ever walked alone on a routine route before? From kindergarten? or church, or a friend's house? Has she ever been taught about talking to strangers when she is alone? How is her attention span, does she get distracted easily? If she spotted a stray dog would she try to approach and pet it?

These are some of the things I'd like to teach her about during our walk. She doesn't have to know it is a learning period meant to teach her good habits and to provide me with some peace of mind. Once I am comfortable with letting her go by herself I will grant her wish of going at it alone. It would still be tough for me, but I would respect her wishes and give her some space. As was said before, you can't blanket your children forever. But I don't think it is bad parenting to spend a little time giving her the opportunity to show she is responsible at the age of 6.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Would she walk with any other kids? Any streets to cross?

6 might be a little young but it all depends on the kid and the situation. Good Luck

 

[Cjw_55106]

It only takes one incident, however remotely likely, to change yours and your family's lives forever.

There are some sick bastards out there who would love to hear that children are walking alone. It just isn't worth the risk IMO, especially when the risk is so easily mitigated.

This. I would never live with myself if something happened where I could have controlled it in the first place.

I understand this, but at some point you can't raise kids with this mentality. You could always 'have controlled it' better.

Then why ask? Do what you want and move on.

Wow. Tough night? I'm looking for perspective and to see what the 'consensus' is.

My apologies. I may have overstepped things, but to me it felt like you want to let her do it and weren't hearing the answer you wanted so you were trying to justify your stance.

 

[gianmarco]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

The list of things that could happen is endless.

Sure, but that list exists with everyday life.

In all honesty, I see 3 things that would give the most cause for concern.

1) Getting hit by a car/accident.

2) Wandering off/getting lost

3) Getting abducted.

Seriously, what else is legitimately going to happen walking ONE block home?

As for getting abducted, the chances of that are so ridiculously small, especially given the distance covered here, that it's not something I would worry about. Yes, we hear about stories, but that's more an issue of the availability of media reporting than being a real danger that should be factored into this decision. If that is truly a reason driving a decision, then you shouldn't let your child swim alone, bathe alone, play on a playground, eat alone, or really do anything alone as well as put them in a car, etc.

As for wandering off, getting lost, or getting hit by a car, that is why I said above that it depends on your 6 year old. If you have a "mature" six year old that those items aren't a concern, then I see no issue with walking. If they are remotely a concern, then I don't see any way you allow them to walk alone.

To me, it's a pretty simple question that a parent should be able to answer about their kid. Then it's a matter of their comfort level. But I think there are certainly 6 year olds that are capable of walking one block unattended.

ETA--In 1999, there were 115 "stereotypical kidnappings" across the nation for the entire year. This is out of 72 million children. You can feel free to base your decisions on those numbers but I like to be a little more realistic about the actual threat.

 

[mphtrilogy]

imho

i have 3 girls, and all have taken the bus

I would not feel comfortable letting any of them come home by themselves until 7th grade.

But thats just me, my wife and I are super conservative with stuff like this

rather safe than sorry

 

[Courtjester]

I'd either go get her, or if she wants to feel like a big girl, find a spot where she is in my line of view and let her walk.

This is the correct answer.

It gives you piece of mind, but gives her the experience so when she is older she can walk home.

I am not one to talk because I don't let my 15 year old daughter walk to the bus stop alone. However, her stop is over 1/2 mile away, she would have to walk alone and the bus comes at 6:30am so it is pretty dark at that time

 

[mr roboto]

It only takes one incident, however remotely likely, to change yours and your family's lives forever.

There are some sick bastards out there who would love to hear that children are walking alone. It just isn't worth the risk IMO, especially when the risk is so easily mitigated.

This. I would never live with myself if something happened where I could have controlled it in the first place.

I understand this, but at some point you can't raise kids with this mentality. You could always 'have controlled it' better.

Then why ask? Do what you want and move on.

Wow. Tough night? I'm looking for perspective and to see what the 'consensus' is.

My apologies. I may have overstepped things, but to me it felt like you want to let her do it and weren't hearing the answer you wanted so you were trying to justify your stance.

You may be right, we actually both want to be ok with it because we have always been very cautious and careful and had the kids on a schedule, fairly strict with things like sugar, manners etc. We have great kids but we feel that we may need to put a little more responsibility on them. Maybe 6 is too young.

 

[dgreen]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

The list of things that could happen is endless.

Sure, but that list exists with everyday life.

Oh, I agree. I see the typical concerns as being highly unlikely events and probably don't need extra precautions.Like I said earlier, we all make decisions to stop adding safety precautions and accept some level of risk. We just do it in different places. I'm not sure why the lines are drawn in different places, but they are.

ETA--In 1999, there were 115 "stereotypical kidnappings" across the nation for the entire year. This is out of 72 million children. You can feel free to base your decisions on those numbers but I like to be a little more realistic about the actual threat.

Yes, those are similar numbers to what I've seen before. I've seen "1 in 610,000" mentioned, which is close to that. And I think this sentence sums it up pretty well:

If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you.

 

[GoFishTN]

I'm sure she would be fine, but you wouldn't want to get arrested.

 

[shadyridr]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

 

[McGarnicle]

I can't believe parents let their kids ride the bus by themselves. I'd be in the next seat, just staring at the kid the whole time to make sure nothing happens. Then take a cab home.

 

[gianmarco]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

 

[gianmarco]

Here's a slight offshoot:

At what age do you let your kids go to the bathroom in a restaurant unattended?

I ask because I know some parents have similar worries about their kids doing so in a crowded restaurant.

 

[johnnycakes]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

How about this angle if you're the parent. Are you comfortable with taking said 1:610,000 chance your face will be plastered all over the news nationwide, complete with all the talking heads wondering wtf you were thinking if something were to happen? How about a 1:610,000 chance in having your remaining kids placed in foster care either because you are deemed unfit or because you're in jail?

 

[Amused to Death]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

How about this angle if you're the parent. Are you comfortable with taking said 1:610,000 chance your face will be plastered all over the news nationwide, complete with all the talking heads wondering wtf you were thinking if something were to happen? How about a 1:610,000 chance in having your remaining kids placed in foster care either because you are deemed unfit or because you're in jail?

So we don't do anything unless we have a 100% guarantee nothing bad will happen? How much lower do you need the odds to be before you're comfortable? Anything non-zero?

 

[gianmarco]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

How about this angle if you're the parent. Are you comfortable with taking said 1:610,000 chance your face will be plastered all over the news nationwide, complete with all the talking heads wondering wtf you were thinking if something were to happen? How about a 1:610,000 chance in having your remaining kids placed in foster care either because you are deemed unfit or because you're in jail?

I am a parent. I am comfortable with it because I don't let those miniscule odds affect my normal functioning in life. I wouldn't be thrusting my kid to do this. I wouldn't be doing this because I'm too lazy to walk one block to pick them up. I'd be doing it because they asked for independence and maybe are actually mature enough to have earned it.

And if this is a real concern as to why you wouldn't, do you think a 9 year old is going to be able to stop an abduction? 10? 11? So are we saying those kids can't walk a block either?

In other words, the first thing many parents worry about in this scenario is that their kid might get snatched when in reality it should be the last thing they think of. Is it a nightmare for those 115 parents that had this happen in 1999? Absolutely and they will second guess their actions for the rest of their lives. But the same can be said about LOTS of things that are far more likely to happen that we don't give a second thought to. I don't live my life based on those kinds of irrational fears.

 

[johnnycakes]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

How about this angle if you're the parent. Are you comfortable with taking said 1:610,000 chance your face will be plastered all over the news nationwide, complete with all the talking heads wondering wtf you were thinking if something were to happen? How about a 1:610,000 chance in having your remaining kids placed in foster care either because you are deemed unfit or because you're in jail?

So we don't do anything unless we have a 100% guarantee nothing bad will happen? How much lower do you need the odds to be before you're comfortable? Anything non-zero?

The kid is 6 years old. Helpless. Lots of people will question why 10-15 minutes was too much of an inconvenience to the parents if something catastrophic (and preventable) were to happen.

 

[Brony]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

How about this angle if you're the parent. Are you comfortable with taking said 1:610,000 chance your face will be plastered all over the news nationwide, complete with all the talking heads wondering wtf you were thinking if something were to happen? How about a 1:610,000 chance in having your remaining kids placed in foster care either because you are deemed unfit or because you're in jail?

We get the society we deserve.

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

I walked about 3 blocks to school when I was 6. There were other kids with me but it wasn't a big deal.

 

[Amused to Death]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

How about this angle if you're the parent. Are you comfortable with taking said 1:610,000 chance your face will be plastered all over the news nationwide, complete with all the talking heads wondering wtf you were thinking if something were to happen? How about a 1:610,000 chance in having your remaining kids placed in foster care either because you are deemed unfit or because you're in jail?

So we don't do anything unless we have a 100% guarantee nothing bad will happen? How much lower do you need the odds to be before you're comfortable? Anything non-zero?

The kid is 6 years old. Helpless. Lots of people will question why 10-15 minutes was too much of an inconvenience to the parents if something catastrophic (and preventable) were to happen.

So, 1 in 610,000 is too much risk for you? How about 1 in 1,000,000? Better? Or do you need that 100% guarantee? A 16 year old will die in a car crash. Preventable if only the parents had refused to let the kid drive. So will a 17 year old. Tragic as it is, you can't stop it.

 

[dickey moe]

I walked to the bus stop a few blocks when I was five years old and in kindergarten, but that was back in the 70s. It's a different world now - what can you say?

 

[johnnycakes]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

How about this angle if you're the parent. Are you comfortable with taking said 1:610,000 chance your face will be plastered all over the news nationwide, complete with all the talking heads wondering wtf you were thinking if something were to happen? How about a 1:610,000 chance in having your remaining kids placed in foster care either because you are deemed unfit or because you're in jail?

So we don't do anything unless we have a 100% guarantee nothing bad will happen? How much lower do you need the odds to be before you're comfortable? Anything non-zero?

The kid is 6 years old. Helpless. Lots of people will question why 10-15 minutes was too much of an inconvenience to the parents if something catastrophic (and preventable) were to happen.

So, 1 in 610,000 is too much risk for you? How about 1 in 1,000,000? Better? Or do you need that 100% guarantee? A 16 year old will die in a car crash. Preventable if only the parents had refused to let the kid drive. So will a 17 year old. Tragic as it is, you can't stop it.

With a 6 year-old kid I'll take the 10-15 minutes out of my day. Then I don't have to worry about statistics and guarantees.

 

[fred_1_15301]

Our daughter is now in full time 1st grade. We live in a quiet neighborhood. The bus it about 1 block away but she needs to turn a corner and the stop is out of sight from our home. My wife was talking to a couple moms at the bus stop today and mentioned that our daughter wants to walk back home from the bus by herself. Judging from the reactions, this is tantamount to child abuse apparently.

Obviously we don't want to take any unnecessary risks but either my wife or myself are home when she gets there (we both work from home). I grew up like most of us here walking to/from school or the bus. Is this just not the case anymore?

child abuse IMO

 

[shadyridr]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

Where did I mention kidnappings? I'm talking about a sexual predator molesting my child. That can be something as simple as them fondling him and then driving away. What are the statistics on that?

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

I walked to the bus stop a few blocks when I was five years old and in kindergarten, but that was back in the 70s. It's a different world now - what can you say?

Is it? I mean, in any relevant way? I doubt that child abductions are really more prevalent. I'm sure we're more aware of them.

 

[mr roboto]

Here's a slight offshoot:

At what age do you let your kids go to the bathroom in a restaurant unattended?

I ask because I know some parents have similar worries about their kids doing so in a crowded restaurant.

My kids are girls. If I'm out with them without my wife I can't bring the 6 year old into the men's room. I will usually walk to the bathroom with them and stand outside so if they call out I can hear them.

 

[gianmarco]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

Where did I mention kidnappings? I'm talking about a sexual predator molesting my child. That can be something as simple as them fondling him and then driving away. What are the statistics on that?

Are you serious? A sexual predator is going to fondle your kid in broad daylight during his 1 block walk home? How do you envision that scenario playing out? Unless that kid is kidnapped, that just doesn't make sense.

Your kid is far more likely to have that happen by someone known to your child like at school, church, or a camp. Are you not letting your kids go to summer camps?

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

How about this angle if you're the parent. Are you comfortable with taking said 1:610,000 chance your face will be plastered all over the news nationwide, complete with all the talking heads wondering wtf you were thinking if something were to happen? How about a 1:610,000 chance in having your remaining kids placed in foster care either because you are deemed unfit or because you're in jail?

So we don't do anything unless we have a 100% guarantee nothing bad will happen? How much lower do you need the odds to be before you're comfortable? Anything non-zero?

The kid is 6 years old. Helpless. Lots of people will question why 10-15 minutes was too much of an inconvenience to the parents if something catastrophic (and preventable) were to happen.

So, 1 in 610,000 is too much risk for you? How about 1 in 1,000,000? Better? Or do you need that 100% guarantee? A 16 year old will die in a car crash. Preventable if only the parents had refused to let the kid drive. So will a 17 year old. Tragic as it is, you can't stop it.

With a 6 year-old kid I'll take the 10-15 minutes out of my day. Then I don't have to worry about statistics and guarantees.

What if that decision also has consequences? What if your child is less independent, less self-assured, less street smart at 8, 10, or 15 because of it?

One weird thing about this mania for helicopter parenting is that it teaches kids to fear all strangers. But the vast majority of strangers are far, far more likely to help a child than to hurt a child. When I was a kid, I knew to stay away from creepy dudes who wanted me to get in their car, but I didn't worry about the nice lady who gave me a tic tac when I hit my head at the playground. Because even at 6, I knew enough to be able to tell the difference.

 

[shadyridr]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

Where did I mention kidnappings? I'm talking about a sexual predator molesting my child. That can be something as simple as them fondling him and then driving away. What are the statistics on that?

Are you serious? A sexual predator is going to fondle your kid in broad daylight during his 1 block walk home? How do you envision that scenario playing out? Unless that kid is kidnapped, that just doesn't make sense.

Your kid is far more likely to have that happen by someone known to your child like at school, church, or a camp. Are you not letting your kids go to summer camps?

And again youre missing the point. Its the combo of the two (sexual predator or him running into the street). Add those odds up.

 

[johnnycakes]

Getting a 6 year-old from a school bus stop one block away is helicopter parenting?

 

[shadyridr]

Getting a 6 year-old from a school bus stop one block away is helicopter parenting?

of course not

 

[gianmarco]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

Where did I mention kidnappings? I'm talking about a sexual predator molesting my child. That can be something as simple as them fondling him and then driving away. What are the statistics on that?

Are you serious? A sexual predator is going to fondle your kid in broad daylight during his 1 block walk home? How do you envision that scenario playing out? Unless that kid is kidnapped, that just doesn't make sense.

Your kid is far more likely to have that happen by someone known to your child like at school, church, or a camp. Are you not letting your kids go to summer camps?

And again youre missing the point. Its the combo of the two (sexual predator or him running into the street). Add those odds up.

I'm not missing any point.

I'm essentially assigning the odds of a sexual predator molesting my kid walking a block home at 0. It's a non-existent entity as far as I'm concerned. It's on par with stepping in a hornet's nest and dying from anaphylaxis or being struck by lightning (far more likely, btw).

I've already acknowledged the risk of a 6 year old running into the street. Not all 6 year olds are created equal. I know 8 year olds that I wouldn't trust walking alone by a street. And I know 5 year olds that I'd have no concern whatsoever. I would actually make a determination about my own child whether or not I thought there was a risk of them not being able to stay on a sidewalk until they got home. If there were ANY concerns, I'd walk with them until those concerns disappear.

Since you still seem to be worried about assigning risk of sexual predators, please explain any plausible scenario where a stranger will walk up to a child in broad daylight walking, fondle their private area, and then drive off without actually abducting the child. I'll hang up and listen.

 

[dgreen]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

Where did I mention kidnappings? I'm talking about a sexual predator molesting my child. That can be something as simple as them fondling him and then driving away. What are the statistics on that?

Are you serious? A sexual predator is going to fondle your kid in broad daylight during his 1 block walk home? How do you envision that scenario playing out? Unless that kid is kidnapped, that just doesn't make sense.

Your kid is far more likely to have that happen by someone known to your child like at school, church, or a camp. Are you not letting your kids go to summer camps?

And again youre missing the point. Its the combo of the two (sexual predator or him running into the street). Add those odds up.

At 6, I'd definitely take into account how busy the streets are and how fast cars go.

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Getting a 6 year-old from a school bus stop one block away is helicopter parenting?

Getting a 6 year old from a school bus stop one block away is a decision that parents should be free to make. Judging a parent that would allow that 6 year old to walk as a bad parent is advocating something very close to helicopter parenting. Yes.

 

[jomar]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

I found out this week there are many people on this site who think owning a dog over 20-30 pounds is just plain stupid because there's always a chance a large dog might flip out and kill your kid. and why would anyone take that chance?

 

[shadyridr]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

Actually, the chances of the first happening are about 0.0000015. You can call it "slim" if you want. I'll call it virtually non-existent.

The chances of the second happening are child dependent. I think there are certainly 6 year olds that can walk ONE (1) block unattended.

But, notice your very first words. "I would be scared of sexual predators". As stated above, "If you can't feel secure - and teach your children to feel secure - about 1-in-610,000 nightmare scenarios - the problem isn't the world. It's you."

Where did I mention kidnappings? I'm talking about a sexual predator molesting my child. That can be something as simple as them fondling him and then driving away. What are the statistics on that?

Are you serious? A sexual predator is going to fondle your kid in broad daylight during his 1 block walk home? How do you envision that scenario playing out? Unless that kid is kidnapped, that just doesn't make sense.

Your kid is far more likely to have that happen by someone known to your child like at school, church, or a camp. Are you not letting your kids go to summer camps?

And again youre missing the point. Its the combo of the two (sexual predator or him running into the street). Add those odds up.

I'm not missing any point.

I'm essentially assigning the odds of a sexual predator molesting my kid walking a block home at 0. It's a non-existent entity as far as I'm concerned. It's on par with stepping in a hornet's nest and dying from anaphylaxis or being struck by lightning (far more likely, btw).

I've already acknowledged the risk of a 6 year old running into the street. Not all 6 year olds are created equal. I know 8 year olds that I wouldn't trust walking alone by a street. And I know 5 year olds that I'd have no concern whatsoever. I would actually make a determination about my own child whether or not I thought there was a risk of them not being able to stay on a sidewalk until they got home. If there were ANY concerns, I'd walk with them until those concerns disappear.

Since you still seem to be worried about assigning risk of sexual predators, please explain any plausible scenario where a stranger will walk up to a child in broad daylight walking, fondle their private area, and then drive off without actually abducting the child. I'll hang up and listen.

no thanks

 

[FUBAR]

What is the "real bad" that could happen? Until we define that, hard to answer.

I would be scared of sexual predators or my son seeing something shiny in the street and running out to get it forgetting to look for cars

The chances of the first happening are slim but slim > 0 if I pick him up.

The chances of the second are obviously child dependent but I imagine even the most responsible 6 yr olds would have the occasional lapse in judgment and all it takes is one mistake sometimes.

the bold is by far the bigger concern for our 6 year old. Thankfully our neighborhood isn't overly conducive to speeding and very few people park on the street.

 

[(HULK)]

Its only a matter of time until we GPS chip our kids imo

 

[FUBAR]

Here's a slight offshoot:

At what age do you let your kids go to the bathroom in a restaurant unattended?

I ask because I know some parents have similar worries about their kids doing so in a crowded restaurant.

We let our 11 yo go by himself or with the middle two brothers - 9 and 6. Our 3 year old is always accompanied by an adult.

While we were at Water Country USA last week a dad (presuming anyway) brought his daughter who appeared to be 9-10 years old into the men's room. I didn't realize this until I had started using the urinal and checked on my sons who had just finished peeing, and saw the girl next to them, about 3 feet from me. That's well beyond the line IMO.

 

[FUBAR]

Its only a matter of time until we GPS chip our kids imo

you haven't?

 

[pantagrapher]

When my in-laws came in from Houston earlier this summer, we all went and sat on a restaurant patio in my neighborhood. My brother-in-law noted all the kids walking alone up and down the street and commented at one point how he couldn't believe parents would let their kids do that. It was a warm, sunny afternoon. Kids were going to and from classes at the nearby music school. We were in a safe neighborhood. I just don't get that.

 

[(HULK)]

Just for frame of reference.

4400 = Your child dies in a car accident, potentially while riding that bus to school
1100 = Your child strangles him/herself on something like a drawstring for those blinds your wife made you put in

1000 = Your child drowns in a pool or bathtub or a puddle/lake/river/ocean

850 = Your child eats/drinks something poisonous and dies

350 = Your child dies in a fire

130 = Your child accidentally shoots themself with your gun

100 = Base Rate for the likelihood of your child being snatched while walking home from school.

50 = Likelihood your child dies from a bee sting while walking home from school

30 = Likelihood your child is fatally mauled by a dog while walking home from school

20 = Likelihood your child is trampled to death by a horse while walking home from school

1 = Likelihood your child is eaten by a mountain line while walking home from school

These numbers are rounded a bit, but they're generally correct. Where do you draw the line? Do you not let your child outside for fear of bees? Not keep a gun? Keep your child away from water?

 

[(HULK)]

I wonder how many gun owners were thumping their chests about not exposing their child to the dangers of walking 1 block alone at 3 PM?

 

[Amused to Death]

I wonder how many gun owners were thumping their chests about not exposing their child to the dangers of walking 1 block alone at 3 PM?

I wondered how many of those opposed to walking home would be ok letting their 6 year old learn how to fire a gun.

 

[(HULK)]

I wonder how many gun owners were thumping their chests about not exposing their child to the dangers of walking 1 block alone at 3 PM?

I wondered how many of those opposed to walking home would be ok letting their 6 year old learn how to fire a gun.

I don't think many people would be willing to teach a 6 year old firearm use. I'm sure some would, but I don't think that is a rationale choice most make.

If I let my 6 year old daugher fire a handgun, I'm certain the kick would propel it into her forehead. Thats if she found the tensile strength to actually get the trigger pulled back.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

It only takes one incident, however remotely likely, to change yours and your family's lives forever.

There are some sick bastards out there who would love to hear that children are walking alone. It just isn't worth the risk IMO, especially when the risk is so easily mitigated.

This. I would never live with myself if something happened where I could have controlled it in the first place.

I understand this, but at some point you can't raise kids with this mentality. You could always 'have controlled it' better.

Then why ask? Do what you want and move on.

Wow. Tough night? I'm looking for perspective and to see what the 'consensus' is.

My apologies. I may have overstepped things, but to me it felt like you want to let her do it and weren't hearing the answer you wanted so you were trying to justify your stance.

You may be right, we actually both want to be ok with it because we have always been very cautious and careful and had the kids on a schedule, fairly strict with things like sugar, manners etc. We have great kids but we feel that we may need to put a little more responsibility on them. Maybe 6 is too young.

If you were confident here, you wouldn't have asked. I walked to kindergarten when I was four. I walked with my friends, and the mother who lived at the end of the block watched us. (It was the 60's. And, no, it's no diffferent today.) But someone did watch us, and we knew she was there. That gave us confidence.