A New Year, A New Woo (1 Viewer)

[Evilgrin 72]

I could have seen going with Locomotive or Wind Up God, but agree, Bone In is crushing it today.

This is making me laugh audibly at work every time. 

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

This is making me laugh audibly at work every time. 

Then I'm just returning the favor for all the laughs you have supplied over the years.  What's giving me a smile right now is Imagining the rest of the picture in your Avatar while thinking of the concept of "bone in".  It becomes rather comically dirty.

 

[russinfortworth]

@Nathan R. JessepYou are in north Lousiana correct?  What university do you attend basketball games at?

 

[Brony]

NRJ : Me too, hey (switches to a "dice" Clay impression) - how's about gargling MY pepperoni?  OH !!!!

NW : OK, this just got weird.

NRJ : You think that's weird, check this out !

NRJ drops trou, then bends at the waist, grabs his ankles through his legs and "butt-walks" out of the restaurant while singing "Aqualung" at top volume.

:spittake:

 

[Reg Lllama of Brixton]

Wear your Archie Manning jersey.  Conversation starter.

New Woo : Is that a Manning jersey?  I didn't know either of the Mannings ever played for the Saints.

NRJ : They didn't.  This is Archie Manning, he's Peyton and Eli's dad.  Best Saints QB ever until Brees came along.  Bonus points for no weird birthmark on his face.

NW : I like Peyton better.

NRJ : Better than who?  I hope you mean Eli and not Brees. (gets serious and voice takes on a steely, menacing quality) I hope you don't mean Brees.....

NW : No, I meant Eli.

NRJ (brightens up, voice returns to normal) : Oh !  Yeah, me too.  Plus he has all that Papa John's dough.

NW : They give him all the dough?  Does he make all the crusts himself?

NRJ : No, I meant dough as in MONEY.

NW : I like Papa John's.

NRJ : Ok, favorite topping?

NW : Pepperoni

NRJ : Me too, hey (switches to a "dice" Clay impression) - how's about gargling MY pepperoni?  OH !!!!

NW : OK, this just got weird.

NRJ : You think that's weird, check this out !

NRJ drops trou, then bends at the waist, grabs his ankles through his legs and "butt-walks" out of the restaurant while singing "Aqualung" at top volume.

Cut to :

2 hours later, NRJ sits outside Marissa's bedroom window tuning a ukelele.

NRJ : Are you there?  This one's a new one I just wrote.  It's called "Hug Me Again Before I Light Up a Charcoal Grill In My Bedroom With All The Doors and Windows Shut."

/scene

What the #### is wrong with you?

 

[ShamrockPride]

 

[Evilgrin 72]

What the #### is wrong with you?

Does it help or hurt that this was written in about 3 minutes in pure stream of consciousness? I actually did go back and change the song to "Aqualung" after originally typing "Little Red Corvette" if I'm being honest. 

 

[Reg Lllama of Brixton]

Does it help or hurt that this was written in about 3 minutes in pure stream of consciousness? I actually did go back and change the song to "Aqualung" after originally typing "Little Red Corvette" if I'm being honest. 

I would have gone with Ace Frehley's "Rock Soldiers"

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Anna Kendrick

Olivia Wilde

Kate Beckinsdale

The wife on 'Kevin can Wait', Erinn Hayes

Sandra Bullock (trying to go age appropriate here)

I can't find a good comparison shot. The closest I've got so far is this image of Kate Middleton (if she had brown eyes and straighter hair), or this image of Pippa. Perhaps a cross between the 2. 

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I'm thinking throwback?  

Chris Everett

 

[Galileo]

Why did you tell us Woo # 2's occupation and not Marissa's?

Why did you tell us Marissa's name and not Woo #2's?

Any chance her name is Cindy Lou?  I may call her that anyway until you divulge more info...Cindy Lou Woo

 

[lakerstan]

I'm in for Woo Two.  Glad to be reading along as it happens this time.

With all the basketball involved this time, hopefully she challenges you to some one-on-one, and that you take it to the hole... if you know what I mean. #belljr

I'm sure there's a dental hygienist spit/gag/mouth joke in there somewhere, too.

Dental hygienists like to be in your mouth.....   HEYOOOOOOOOO

 

[gianmarco]

 NW : I like Peyton better.

NRJ : Better than who?  I hope you mean Eli and not Brees. (gets serious and voice takes on a steely, menacing quality) I hope you don't mean Brees.....

NW : No, I meant Eli.

NRJ (brightens up, voice returns to normal) : Oh !  Yeah, me too.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Why did you tell us Marissa's name and not Woo #2's?

Any chance her name is Cindy Lou?  I may call her that anyway until you divulge more info...Cindy Lou Woo

Um, you do know Marissa wasn't her real name, right?  She was dubbed after the celeb comparison.  Since we don't have a good comparison yet here, it's still up in the air I suppose. 

 

[Evilgrin 72]

I would have gone with Ace Frehley's "Rock Soldiers"

Outstanding choice. I probably wouldn't have used that only because I don't know how many FBGs are familiar with it. 

 

[Chemical X]

we have a better chance of NRJ's huggirls hooking up with each other than NRJ has with either one.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

we have a better chance of NRJ's huggirls hooking up with each other than NRJ has with either one.

My money is on NRJ getting handjobs from both without either of them knowing about the other. But here's the Shyamalan twist... the handjobs are happening at the same time!  

 

[Chemical X]

My money is on NRJ getting handjobs from both without either of them knowing about the other. But here's the Shyamalan twist... the handjobs are happening at the same time!  

What a Twist!

 

[Reg Lllama of Brixton]

Chris Everett

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

[Galileo]

Um, you do know Marissa wasn't her real name, right?  She was dubbed after the celeb comparison.  Since we don't have a good comparison yet here, it's still up in the air I suppose. 

guess I missed that piece

 

[The Duff Man]

Woo Two: Hugs Reloaded

 

[ChiefD]

Man, all that marryin' she has done already......She sounds like one of them damn Landry's.

If there is one thing we have learned around here, is watch out for them Landry's. You mess with one of them, and next thing you know one of them is hangin a gutter up your #####.

 

[ChiefD]

Woo Two: Hugs Reloaded

Happy Woo Year.

 

[jvdesigns2002]

Congrats to our fearless leader for moving on and "woo-ving on up" a second target.     I look forward to hug filled tales of dates and BBQ's.   Let's hope this new target can "handle the wooth".   

 

[Mr. Pickles]

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Rawr!

 

[RenegadeGM]

This commercial just came on, and guess what I immediately thought of?

 

[xulf]

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Does this latest skank also have a neck tattoo?

 

[James Daulton]

My money is on NRJ getting handjobs from both without either of them knowing about the other. But here's the Shyamalan twist... the handjobs are happening at the same time!  

M. Night's not that much off his game anymore.

 

[Don't Toews Me]

"Woo with me, woo for the year
Woo for the laughter, woo for the tear
Woo with me if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away"

Or maybe:

"We will we will woo you
We will we will woo you"

Another possibility:

"Carry on my wooward son
There'll be woo when you are done
Lay your weary woo to rest
Don't you woo no more"

I promise I'll stop after this one:

"Mental woos still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy woo
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy woo

I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my woo, yeah, yeah"

I lied:

"Is this the real woo?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No woo from reality"

I'll show myself the door now....

 

[mr fancypants]

My money is on NRJ getting handjobs from both without either of them knowing about the other. But here's the Shyamalan twist... the handjobs are happening at the same time!  

What before the initial hugging it out phase? Are you some kind of slut?

 

[Buzzbait]

Outstanding choice. I probably wouldn't have used that only because I don't know how many FBGs are familiar with it. 

Only the ones with good taste. 

 

[ditka...mike ditka]

So is the date set or is her son **** blocking you with some basketball game?

 

[DocHolliday]

Outstanding choice. I probably wouldn't have used that only because I don't know how many FBGs are familiar with it. 

There are a few of us. 

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

So is the date set or is her son **** blocking you with some basketball game?

The weather actually helped me this time! Hoops tourney got canceled. The roads have dried up now too. I dropped my kids at their grandma's.  She was going to meet me, as she lives a bit out of town. I said nope, I'll come get you.   Heading to pick her up in about a half hour.  

 

[Don't Noonan]

The weather actually helped me this time! Hoops tourney got canceled. The roads have dried up now too. I dropped my kids at their grandma's.  She was going to meet me, as she lives a bit out of town. I said nope, I'll come get you.   Heading to pick her up in about a half hour.  

Nice.  Dare I ask what you are wearing tonight?

 

[xulf]

Jorts a saints hoodie and My Little Pony Hat?

 

[ditka...mike ditka]

The weather actually helped me this time! Hoops tourney got canceled. The roads have dried up now too. I dropped my kids at their grandma's.  She was going to meet me, as she lives a bit out of town. I said nope, I'll come get you.   Heading to pick her up in about a half hour.  

Go get'er!!!!

 

[tommyboy]

Bang the hell out of her and yell Marissa when you hit the jackpot

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Nice.  Dare I ask what you are wearing tonight?

One of my favorite button downs, stylish jeans, boots. Not one single Saints item.  

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Not a whole lot to report as it was just dinner. The date lasted a couple hours. Took her to a spot in town that she hadn't ever been to. She said she really enjoyed it and thanked me for introducing her to it. Conversation was easy and good. We both smiled and laughed a lot. The night began and ended with hugs.

I feel confident that we will go out again soon.    

 

[Galileo]

One of my favorite button downs, stylish jeans, boots. Not one single Saints item.  

You?

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

You?

saw skinny jeans in the URL and didn't even click that  

 

[Galileo]

The real question we want to know, of course, is what was she wearing?  Did it say "come get me, Colonel?"

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

The real question we want to know, of course, is what was she wearing?  Did it say "come get me, Colonel?"

I have never seen this woman that she wasn't dressed like a million bucks. Very stylish and classy. Last night's ensemble was jeans and a brown/turquoise flowy blouse.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

PUT A HELMET ON THAT SOLDIER! HE'S GOING INTO BATTLE! 

 

[TheAristocrat]

Not one single Saints item.  

So she isn't the one?  Oh well, fish in the sea and such.

 

[identikit]

I have never seen this woman that she wasn't dressed like a million bucks. Very stylish and classy. Last night's ensemble was jeans and a brown/turquoise flowy blouse.

 Love the flowy blouse look...

 

[Ned]

 Love the flowy blouse look...

NRJ?

 

[Kanil]

Not a whole lot to report as it was just dinner. The date lasted a couple hours. Took her to a spot in town that she hadn't ever been to. She said she really enjoyed it and thanked me for introducing her to it. Conversation was easy and good. We both smiled and laughed a lot. The night began and ended with hugs.

I feel confident that we will go out again soon.    

Can you describe these hugs?  I would normally tell people what needs to be described about a hug but I don't want to offend the expert.