A question about business/job successful people (1 Viewer)

[Dentist]

Had a discussion this weekend with several friends where we were discussing how such a high percentage of the most successful people that we knew as far as business or financial gain were concerned had some deeply flawed aspects of the rest of their lives.

Seems like so many successful people in business either have failed home lives, are workaholics who have no balance with the rest of their life, have substance abuse problems, are basspoles who have stepped on so many people to get to the top... or are flawed in many other ways I don't have the inclination to mention right now.

Now i'm sure there are plenty of examples of successful people who do achieve an excellent balance in life... but why does it seem that is the minority of the people?

In the industries you guys are associated in do you experience this as well? Or is this something I only see in my particular industry... and see with famous people like athletes, politicians, entertainment industry, etc.

 

[saintfool]

tldr.

 

[urbanhack]

bad beat

 

[Dentist]

tldr.

4 sentences?

 

[Dentist]

bad beat

 

[Freelove]

There will always, obviously, be a strong correlation between monomaniacal focus and success in a given field, just as there is a strong correlation between monomaniacal focus and an out-of-balance life.

There are no absolutes when you talk about people. So there will always be some super-successful Renaissance men (ETA: and women) who have it all. But it only makes sense that what you describe is highly prevalent.

 

[Hooper31]

In the industries you guys are associated in do you experience this as well?

No. I work in education.

 

[Long Ball Larry]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/good-thinking/201402/yale-law-professors-say-these-are-the-three-keys-success

This recent book suggests that there are three key traits common among successful people:

A superiority complexPeople who have the courage to succeed—sometimes despite enormous obstacles—have a deep-seated belief in their exceptionality. They believe they have something unique and important to bring to the table, and they will not rest until they do. This seems to be inconsistent with the prototypical American belief in equality. Yet equal need not mean "we are all the same." It can and should mean that we all have equal rights and protections under the law, and that we should be given equal opportunity to succeed. Instead, the authors define this trait as the pride an individual takes in his or her own strength of will.

InsecuritySuccessful people also fear that they or what they have accomplished so far is not good enough. This trait not only seems to contradict the first, but also flies in the face of a pop culture truism--that insecurity is something that holds us back from achieving our goals. But upon reflection, you can see that it doesn't and needn't mean that. People who believe they have something exceptional to offer but have not yet made their mark are highly motivated to work harder, reach higher, and accomplish more. Without this worry that one hasn't yet accomplished enough, a superiority complex can lead to idle arrogance, which does no one any good. They point out that America as a nation has always been at its best when it has had to "prove its mettle on the world stage."

Impulse controlImpulse control is simply the practice of keeping "eyes on the prize" rather than grabbing at every opportunity without thought of their long term consequences. A superiority complex coupled with insecurity can lead to toxic competitive overdrive. But impulse control serves as a counterweight to keep us on track. This, again, seems to fly in the face of common wisdom to "live in the moment" and seize opportunities as they arise. Wisdom comes from learning to discern which opportunities should be seized and which are better left alone.

 

[Dentist]

In the industries you guys are associated in do you experience this as well?

No. I work in education.

as i finished my post, I realized my wife works in education also and that type of an industry where additional effort doesn't achieve greater pay or acquisitions is probably free of that.

But how about the people in education that develop major industries on developing products to teach teachers, or people that seek out political positions in education... or at the college level?

So classroom teachers per se maybe don't experience this... but within education aren't there hyper successful individuals that achieve their success outside the classroom?

 

[Freelove]

In the industries you guys are associated in do you experience this as well?

No. I work in education.

as i finished my post, I realized my wife works in education also and that type of an industry where additional effort doesn't achieve greater pay or acquisitions is probably free of that.

But how about the people in education that develop major industries on developing products to teach teachers, or people that seek out political positions in education... or at the college level?

So classroom teachers per se maybe don't experience this... but within education aren't there hyper successful individuals that achieve their success outside the classroom?

All you need to do is whisper the words "tenure track," and watch the psychopathic tendencies of the college set flare up. I never met a department head who didn't have a place to bury the bodies.

 

[Long Ball Larry]

In the industries you guys are associated in do you experience this as well?

No. I work in education.

as i finished my post, I realized my wife works in education also and that type of an industry where additional effort doesn't achieve greater pay or acquisitions is probably free of that.

Do you not think that people desire to be a great success unless greater pay or acquisitions are possible?

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

When I worked in a big law firm, there was at least a loose correlation. The people that went home to have dinner with their kids every night typically weren't the superstar partners or associates.

With that said, there were plenty of exceptions on both sides. Some highly regarded attorneys that seemed to strike a balance. And some gunners with no social life that still managed to flame out.

 

[Tiger Fan]

It would appear that you're defining "success" as either big monetary rewards or "important" positions in their company. I could make more money and have a higher position too if I spent more time away from home.

I can argue that it's much more difficult to be a more balanced person at home/work.

 

[Freelove]

It would appear that you're defining "success" as either big monetary rewards or "important" positions in their company. I could make more money and have a higher position too if I spent more time away from home.

I can argue that it's much more difficult to be a more balanced person at home/work.

I think that's why he specified "business/job success" in the title.

It's easy to argue the guy in the hut on the Mexican Riviera is successful too. This just ain't about that, I don't think.

 

[cheese]

The most popular way to get ahead in business is to focus entirely on that and devote ridiculous time to it. It usually involves a lot of travel, often with no notice. When you prioritize something that highly, other things are left along the side of the road, usually including family and social life.

The only interesting part about it is that people don't seem to be able to turn it off once they've "made it". CEOs who could easily be golfing or home with family are just as likely to be flying nonstop or working until midnight I guess because that is what they're used to.

 

[Zow]

I think majority of people have some individual flaws regardless of level of success.

That said, I learned at a seminar that white dentists have an incredibly disproportionate number of deaths by autoerotic asphyxiation. So if you're having this discussion with other dentists...

 

[Doctor Detroit]

This seems to explain why I have no problem farting in a full elevator.

 

[McGarnicle]

Impulse control sounds awesome. Where can I get some?

 

[Dentist]

In the industries you guys are associated in do you experience this as well?

No. I work in education.

as i finished my post, I realized my wife works in education also and that type of an industry where additional effort doesn't achieve greater pay or acquisitions is probably free of that.

Do you not think that people desire to be a great success unless greater pay or acquisitions are possible?

I don't want to sidetrack the discussion, but I think that as a whole that many humans become more motivated when profit is within reach.

 

[Dentist]

It would appear that you're defining "success" as either big monetary rewards or "important" positions in their company. I could make more money and have a higher position too if I spent more time away from home.

I can argue that it's much more difficult to be a more balanced person at home/work.

I think the latter may be more difficult in some cases.

I'm not defining success by money acquired... although I think the average person would regard someone who made more money, won more "awards", and had more of an "important title", than someone else as more successful.

I could also personally make more money by working more hours or working harder... but I don't define success by money acquired... but that puts me in the minority methinks.

 

[mr roboto]

The industry I'm in could be broadly defined as local small business (I'm employed with a growing retail franchise company). So the Franchisors (corporate) are bigger business but the franchisees (local businesses) are largely sole prop family businesses.

Many of the franchisors have development people that just want to sell agreements, outcomes be damned. Most franchisees are hard working local business people.

In our industry the most driven franchisees can actually fail because they want to work outside of the given business model. Our best franchisees are conscientious, passionate brand ambassadors who just want to run with the business model as presented.

 

[Patriotsfatboy1]

It is extremely difficult to have work/life balance. Most highly successful business people are successful because they put in long hours and are working even away from the office. That puts stress on other parts of your life, which causes those other issues that the OP described.

With that said, there are many people who can still make a very good living by working normal hours and achieve that work/life balance. It is just very difficult and you might not be pulling in 8 figures a year.

 

[McGarnicle]

It is extremely difficult to have work/life balance. Most highly successful business people are successful because they put in long hours and are working even away from the office. That puts stress on other parts of your life, which causes those other issues that the OP described.

With that said, there are many people who can still make a very good living by working normal hours and achieve that work/life balance. It is just very difficult and you might not be pulling in 8 figures a year.

I've reached the point in my career where I could have my boss's job within the next 1-2 years if I want it. He is single and does not have much of a social life, and works probably 60-70 hours every week including weekends, even when he doesn't necessarily have to. I've thought long and hard about it, and I would need at least a 50% raise to consider taking that on, and even then, not sure it's a life I want long-term. I really value having the freedom to log off at 6 or 6:30 every night and not think about work until the next morning, and never on weekends. There comes a point for me where a job starts to feel like slavery if I'm sacrificing too much of my personal time, regardless of the pay.

 

[Freelove]

I've met a lot of wealthy people who are miserable because they attained great wealth and once they got there they were totally unsatisfied.

I've met a lot of objectively wealthy people who are miserable because they're caught in the trap of needing endless validation from outside, such that no matter what they have, they constantly aspire to impress people who wouldn't piss on them to put out a fire, instead of reveling in the fact that they have the life they used to dream of having. They're caught in a cycle of doom.

And of course, I've met tons and tons of people in middle and lower classes who are miserable because they're certain they just don't have enough.

And along the way, a tiny few truly happy types scattered among each socio-economic class.

Not surprisingly, when I travel, the people I meet abroad seem to be almost exactly opposite in ratio. The poor are mostly pretty happy, and so are the middle and upper classes. It's a pretty uniquely American phenomenon that the huge majority of folks feel pride and happiness only to the extent they believe others will be impressed with them. Mostly the only thing that really pisses people around the world off in great numbers is when this culture gets forced upon them.

It's a strange culture.

Unfortunately, it's still growing.

 

[Tiger Fan]

It would appear that you're defining "success" as either big monetary rewards or "important" positions in their company. I could make more money and have a higher position too if I spent more time away from home.

I can argue that it's much more difficult to be a more balanced person at home/work.

I think the latter may be more difficult in some cases.

I'm not defining success by money acquired... although I think the average person would regard someone who made more money, won more "awards", and had more of an "important title", than someone else as more successful.

I could also personally make more money by working more hours or working harder... but I don't define success by money acquired... but that puts me in the minority methinks.

I work in a corporate environment, and I'm always am most admirable of those who just look/feel like "they have it all figured out" with respect to the balance. This is what I strive to be. I think I'm doing a great job at it, but it's tough b/c it can come across as apathetic.

 

[Dentist]

The most popular way to get ahead in business is to focus entirely on that and devote ridiculous time to it. It usually involves a lot of travel, often with no notice. When you prioritize something that highly, other things are left along the side of the road, usually including family and social life.

The only interesting part about it is that people don't seem to be able to turn it off once they've "made it". CEOs who could easily be golfing or home with family are just as likely to be flying nonstop or working until midnight I guess because that is what they're used to.

I absolutely agree with your last statement.

I can't even begin to wrap my head around why someone like Zuckerberg wouldn't have sold out of facebook and just be spending his days getting massages from hot large breasted women on a private island, reading books, playing video games, and enjoying a daily Cuban Cigar and glass of 100 year old rum... because he has the money to do that every single day of his life and then some!

Really I don't understand why anyone who's filthy rich would ever want to do something productive with their lives.

But maybe why that's why I'll never be filthy rich in the first place... i would dream too small... For those of you watching "Silicon Valley" on HBO If I'm the CEO of pied piper I take that 10 million without hesitation and then live my remaining days in paradise... I'd never make it to deca-millionaire status..

 

[mr roboto]

The mega rich tycoon types can't just kick back and take it easy. I don't know anyone with a B in their net worth but I do know multiple people with hundreds of Millions. They like to innovate, build, create. It's in their nature.

 

[Tiger Fan]

The most popular way to get ahead in business is to focus entirely on that and devote ridiculous time to it. It usually involves a lot of travel, often with no notice. When you prioritize something that highly, other things are left along the side of the road, usually including family and social life.

The only interesting part about it is that people don't seem to be able to turn it off once they've "made it". CEOs who could easily be golfing or home with family are just as likely to be flying nonstop or working until midnight I guess because that is what they're used to.

I absolutely agree with your last statement.

I can't even begin to wrap my head around why someone like Zuckerberg wouldn't have sold out of facebook and just be spending his days getting massages from hot large breasted women on a private island, reading books, playing video games, and enjoying a daily Cuban Cigar and glass of 100 year old rum... because he has the money to do that every single day of his life and then some!

Really I don't understand why anyone who's filthy rich would ever want to do something productive with their lives.

But maybe why that's why I'll never be filthy rich in the first place... i would dream too small... For those of you watching "Silicon Valley" on HBO If I'm the CEO of pied piper I take that 10 million without hesitation and then live my remaining days in paradise... I'd never make it to deca-millionaire status..

It's the "what would you do if you won the lottery" conversation. After the requisite "2 chicks at the same time" answer...my honest answer would be "whatever the hell I wanted to". Now, this would likely mean a lot of travelling/relaxation....but I'm not just going to sit on my ### for the rest of eternity...what kind of example does that set for my kids? I would likely still do something productive, but I'd definitely be a lot more stress free.

 

[Dentist]

The mega rich tycoon types can't just kick back and take it easy. I don't know anyone with a B in their net worth but I do know multiple people with hundreds of Millions. They like to innovate, build, create. It's in their nature.

i'm glad there are people like that. people inventing stuff, making our lives better.. better surgeries, better tech, etc.

I guess I'm just a really lazy person. I have zero desire for any of that

 

[mr roboto]

The mega rich tycoon types can't just kick back and take it easy. I don't know anyone with a B in their net worth but I do know multiple people with hundreds of Millions. They like to innovate, build, create. It's in their nature.

i'm glad there are people like that. people inventing stuff, making our lives better.. better surgeries, better tech, etc.

I guess I'm just a really lazy person. I have zero desire for any of that

Honestly, I'm like you. I work for a rags to riches type who built a really disruptive business and I'm doing the sales and development work. It has the potential to be a 30-60 million dollar business. He's already investigating other distribution channels and using the same technologies in different industries. We are about 20% done building the core business (so lots of meat left on the bone) and he's already working on architecting 2-3 other value plays that would bring the total value north of 200 million. And he still owns about 70% of the company (has more equity to sell if we need more cash). Funny thing is he's not driven by becoming wealthy. He's driven by maximizing his innovation.

 

[NCCommish]

I've met a lot of wealthy people who are miserable because they attained great wealth and once they got there they were totally unsatisfied.

I've met a lot of objectively wealthy people who are miserable because they're caught in the trap of needing endless validation from outside, such that no matter what they have, they constantly aspire to impress people who wouldn't piss on them to put out a fire, instead of reveling in the fact that they have the life they used to dream of having. They're caught in a cycle of doom.

And of course, I've met tons and tons of people in middle and lower classes who are miserable because they're certain they just don't have enough.

And along the way, a tiny few truly happy types scattered among each socio-economic class.

Not surprisingly, when I travel, the people I meet abroad seem to be almost exactly opposite in ratio. The poor are mostly pretty happy, and so are the middle and upper classes. It's a pretty uniquely American phenomenon that the huge majority of folks feel pride and happiness only to the extent they believe others will be impressed with them. Mostly the only thing that really pisses people around the world off in great numbers is when this culture gets forced upon them.

It's a strange culture.

Unfortunately, it's still growing.

We want what we want until we get it and then we need something more. It's a sickness really.

 

[Brunell4MVP]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/good-thinking/201402/yale-law-professors-say-these-are-the-three-keys-success

This recent book suggests that there are three key traits common among successful people:

A superiority complexPeople who have the courage to succeed—sometimes despite enormous obstacles—have a deep-seated belief in their exceptionality. They believe they have something unique and important to bring to the table, and they will not rest until they do. This seems to be inconsistent with the prototypical American belief in equality. Yet equal need not mean "we are all the same." It can and should mean that we all have equal rights and protections under the law, and that we should be given equal opportunity to succeed. Instead, the authors define this trait as the pride an individual takes in his or her own strength of will.

InsecuritySuccessful people also fear that they or what they have accomplished so far is not good enough. This trait not only seems to contradict the first, but also flies in the face of a pop culture truism--that insecurity is something that holds us back from achieving our goals. But upon reflection, you can see that it doesn't and needn't mean that. People who believe they have something exceptional to offer but have not yet made their mark are highly motivated to work harder, reach higher, and accomplish more. Without this worry that one hasn't yet accomplished enough, a superiority complex can lead to idle arrogance, which does no one any good. They point out that America as a nation has always been at its best when it has had to "prove its mettle on the world stage."

Impulse controlImpulse control is simply the practice of keeping "eyes on the prize" rather than grabbing at every opportunity without thought of their long term consequences. A superiority complex coupled with insecurity can lead to toxic competitive overdrive. But impulse control serves as a counterweight to keep us on track. This, again, seems to fly in the face of common wisdom to "live in the moment" and seize opportunities as they arise. Wisdom comes from learning to discern which opportunities should be seized and which are better left alone.

This hits the nail on the head.

I was mediocrely successful...CFO of small companies, but not much drive. My wife is extremely successful The difference between successful and a star is the above. She is a star at her career.

She truly believes she is great at what she does, but lives in constant fear that she isn't doing good enough. Occassionally she does not have #3...impulse control So my job now that I don't work is basically to keep her in check so she doesn't work 20 hour days. I am as usual, mediocrely successful at doing this.

 

[Freelove]

I've met a lot of wealthy people who are miserable because they attained great wealth and once they got there they were totally unsatisfied.

I've met a lot of objectively wealthy people who are miserable because they're caught in the trap of needing endless validation from outside, such that no matter what they have, they constantly aspire to impress people who wouldn't piss on them to put out a fire, instead of reveling in the fact that they have the life they used to dream of having. They're caught in a cycle of doom.

And of course, I've met tons and tons of people in middle and lower classes who are miserable because they're certain they just don't have enough.

And along the way, a tiny few truly happy types scattered among each socio-economic class.

Not surprisingly, when I travel, the people I meet abroad seem to be almost exactly opposite in ratio. The poor are mostly pretty happy, and so are the middle and upper classes. It's a pretty uniquely American phenomenon that the huge majority of folks feel pride and happiness only to the extent they believe others will be impressed with them. Mostly the only thing that really pisses people around the world off in great numbers is when this culture gets forced upon them.

It's a strange culture.

Unfortunately, it's still growing.

We want what we want until we get it and then we need something more. It's a sickness really.

I don't disagree.

I do think that it's the way the culture is designed, quite intentionally. Everything in life has to be designed obsolescence. If we're allowed to be happy, we stop being consumers. That's capitalism, I suppose.

 

[NCCommish]

I've met a lot of wealthy people who are miserable because they attained great wealth and once they got there they were totally unsatisfied.

I've met a lot of objectively wealthy people who are miserable because they're caught in the trap of needing endless validation from outside, such that no matter what they have, they constantly aspire to impress people who wouldn't piss on them to put out a fire, instead of reveling in the fact that they have the life they used to dream of having. They're caught in a cycle of doom.

And of course, I've met tons and tons of people in middle and lower classes who are miserable because they're certain they just don't have enough.

And along the way, a tiny few truly happy types scattered among each socio-economic class.

Not surprisingly, when I travel, the people I meet abroad seem to be almost exactly opposite in ratio. The poor are mostly pretty happy, and so are the middle and upper classes. It's a pretty uniquely American phenomenon that the huge majority of folks feel pride and happiness only to the extent they believe others will be impressed with them. Mostly the only thing that really pisses people around the world off in great numbers is when this culture gets forced upon them.

It's a strange culture.

Unfortunately, it's still growing.

We want what we want until we get it and then we need something more. It's a sickness really.

I don't disagree.

I do think that it's the way the culture is designed, quite intentionally. Everything in life has to be designed obsolescence. If we're allowed to be happy, we stop being consumers. That's capitalism, I suppose.

I gave up the big chase for things. I just want to live my life with a minimal amount of give me these days.

 

[Dentist]

I've met a lot of wealthy people who are miserable because they attained great wealth and once they got there they were totally unsatisfied.

I've met a lot of objectively wealthy people who are miserable because they're caught in the trap of needing endless validation from outside, such that no matter what they have, they constantly aspire to impress people who wouldn't piss on them to put out a fire, instead of reveling in the fact that they have the life they used to dream of having. They're caught in a cycle of doom.

And of course, I've met tons and tons of people in middle and lower classes who are miserable because they're certain they just don't have enough.

And along the way, a tiny few truly happy types scattered among each socio-economic class.

Not surprisingly, when I travel, the people I meet abroad seem to be almost exactly opposite in ratio. The poor are mostly pretty happy, and so are the middle and upper classes. It's a pretty uniquely American phenomenon that the huge majority of folks feel pride and happiness only to the extent they believe others will be impressed with them. Mostly the only thing that really pisses people around the world off in great numbers is when this culture gets forced upon them.

It's a strange culture.

Unfortunately, it's still growing.

We want what we want until we get it and then we need something more. It's a sickness really.

I don't disagree.

I do think that it's the way the culture is designed, quite intentionally. Everything in life has to be designed obsolescence. If we're allowed to be happy, we stop being consumers. That's capitalism, I suppose.

i'd never heard that word obsolescence before.. good word, I read the entire wiki entry about it.. i plan to start using it.

 

[mr roboto]

Our big money investor had a dinner party at his house on Saturday. Invited the management team, spouses and kids. He and his wife cooked and served all the food. Very hospitable (they are Indian and this is a big point of pride - serving your guests). Wonderful people - very rich.

He was discussing his time spent doing business in Spain earlier in his career, how they shut down from noon-3pm for lunch and siesta, how they took the month of August off, how people didn't strive day in and out but lived on flexible time and were less stressed. He seemed to enjoy it when he was forced to live that way but said something that was very telling - he said that he thought they didn't accomplish enough there.

Accomplishment is our idol in this country. We trumpet our accomplishment, hang mementos of our accomplishment on our office walls, talk to others about our kids' accomplishments etc.

 

[cstu]

The most popular way to get ahead in business is to focus entirely on that and devote ridiculous time to it. It usually involves a lot of travel, often with no notice. When you prioritize something that highly, other things are left along the side of the road, usually including family and social life.

The only interesting part about it is that people don't seem to be able to turn it off once they've "made it". CEOs who could easily be golfing or home with family are just as likely to be flying nonstop or working until midnight I guess because that is what they're used to.

Reminds me of Steve Jobs on his death bed worried about the Android operating system.

 

[bills025]

I've met a lot of wealthy people who are miserable because they attained great wealth and once they got there they were totally unsatisfied.

I've met a lot of objectively wealthy people who are miserable because they're caught in the trap of needing endless validation from outside, such that no matter what they have, they constantly aspire to impress people who wouldn't piss on them to put out a fire, instead of reveling in the fact that they have the life they used to dream of having. They're caught in a cycle of doom.

And of course, I've met tons and tons of people in middle and lower classes who are miserable because they're certain they just don't have enough.

And along the way, a tiny few truly happy types scattered among each socio-economic class.

Not surprisingly, when I travel, the people I meet abroad seem to be almost exactly opposite in ratio. The poor are mostly pretty happy, and so are the middle and upper classes. It's a pretty uniquely American phenomenon that the huge majority of folks feel pride and happiness only to the extent they believe others will be impressed with them. Mostly the only thing that really pisses people around the world off in great numbers is when this culture gets forced upon them.

It's a strange culture.

Unfortunately, it's still growing.

We want what we want until we get it and then we need something more. It's a sickness really.

I don't disagree.

I do think that it's the way the culture is designed, quite intentionally. Everything in life has to be designed obsolescence. If we're allowed to be happy, we stop being consumers. That's capitalism, I suppose.

That's what this country is. Virtually all the people here came from another country in order to make a better life than they would've had at home. In order to do that they had to work hard.

 

[roadkill1292]

God bless the go getters, we'd be in a lot of trouble without them and the risks they take to achieve and accomplish so much. I admire them so much from the comfort of my recliner and raise my glass of bourbon in homage.

 

[Joe Bryant]

The most popular way to get ahead in business is to focus entirely on that and devote ridiculous time to it. It usually involves a lot of travel, often with no notice. When you prioritize something that highly, other things are left along the side of the road, usually including family and social life.

The only interesting part about it is that people don't seem to be able to turn it off once they've "made it". CEOs who could easily be golfing or home with family are just as likely to be flying nonstop or working until midnight I guess because that is what they're used to.

I absolutely agree with your last statement.

I can't even begin to wrap my head around why someone like Zuckerberg wouldn't have sold out of facebook and just be spending his days getting massages from hot large breasted women on a private island, reading books, playing video games, and enjoying a daily Cuban Cigar and glass of 100 year old rum... because he has the money to do that every single day of his life and then some!

Really I don't understand why anyone who's filthy rich would ever want to do something productive with their lives.

But maybe why that's why I'll never be filthy rich in the first place... i would dream too small... For those of you watching "Silicon Valley" on HBO If I'm the CEO of pied piper I take that 10 million without hesitation and then live my remaining days in paradise... I'd never make it to deca-millionaire status..

Hi Dentist,

You're getting into a pretty fascinating topic I think. The Silicon Valley decision of 10 million now vs 250k and build something is one of those interesting "divider" questions.

I think for a ton of people, it's not all about the money. It's about building something cool / fun / satisfying. I would imagine there are people on both sides of the Silicon Valley show decision thinking one of the decisions was an absolute no brainer.

Good stuff.

J

 

[msommer]

The most popular way to get ahead in business is to focus entirely on that and devote ridiculous time to it. It usually involves a lot of travel, often with no notice. When you prioritize something that highly, other things are left along the side of the road, usually including family and social life.

The only interesting part about it is that people don't seem to be able to turn it off once they've "made it". CEOs who could easily be golfing or home with family are just as likely to be flying nonstop or working until midnight I guess because that is what they're used to.

I absolutely agree with your last statement.

I can't even begin to wrap my head around why someone like Zuckerberg wouldn't have sold out of facebook and just be spending his days getting massages from hot large breasted women on a private island, reading books, playing video games, and enjoying a daily Cuban Cigar and glass of 100 year old rum... because he has the money to do that every single day of his life and then some!

Really I don't understand why anyone who's filthy rich would ever want to do something productive with their lives.

But maybe why that's why I'll never be filthy rich in the first place... i would dream too small... For those of you watching "Silicon Valley" on HBO If I'm the CEO of pied piper I take that 10 million without hesitation and then live my remaining days in paradise... I'd never make it to deca-millionaire status..

Hi Dentist,

You're getting into a pretty fascinating topic I think. The Silicon Valley decision of 10 million now vs 250k and build something is one of those interesting "divider" questions.

I think for a ton of people, it's not all about the money. It's about building something cool / fun / satisfying. I would imagine there are people on both sides of the Silicon Valley show decision thinking one of the decisions was an absolute no brainer.

Good stuff.

J

I'm personally not familiar with the Silicon Valley series, but I'd believe it to be a lot easier to start something (different) with 10m than your original idea with 250k. To me that is a no brainer. Most idea guys I've met have a plethora of them and quite a few that are worth pursuing...

Anyway, MacGarnicle mentioned about is boss' 60 hr work week etc. Just from experience not all work weeks are created equal and it is quite possible that another person in the same job could perform just as we in 40 hrs or would have to use 80. It is all about how your current boss does things and how you could or would do things differently that would save time without sacrificing quality (or even improving it). Most people do things in certain ways because they have become used to them, not because it is the absolutely most efficient way.

On the original topic, in my line of work there are a number of succesful people in either category. One could argue that the principal flaw that got the one set of successes forward was their inability to (or disinterest in) balance/ing their work/home

 

[FUBAR]

It's been mentioned, but most of the time great success requires total devotion to the thing you're working to achieve. It also pays to know what you want and not worry about what others think. Sometimes that combination makes for people who don't play well with others naturally and their success makes it so they don't necessarily have to learn to conform. That lack of conformity can lead others to thinking that person is an ###. But they may not care.

Us normal people need to rely on others which means we conform to succeed.

 

[chet]

How much steak can you eat?

Once you get to a certain level, the incremental increase to get to the next level can be astronomical. Let's use air travel as an example. The price difference between commercial and private is huge and, IMO, the marginal benefit is limited.

 

[Ned]

In the industries you guys are associated in do you experience this as well?

No. I work in education.

as i finished my post, I realized my wife works in education also and that type of an industry where additional effort doesn't achieve greater pay or acquisitions is probably free of that.

Do you not think that people desire to be a great success unless greater pay or acquisitions are possible?

First time reading a Dentist post, I take it?

 

[Abraham]

I've met a lot of wealthy people who are miserable because they attained great wealth and once they got there they were totally unsatisfied.

I've met a lot of objectively wealthy people who are miserable because they're caught in the trap of needing endless validation from outside, such that no matter what they have, they constantly aspire to impress people who wouldn't piss on them to put out a fire, instead of reveling in the fact that they have the life they used to dream of having. They're caught in a cycle of doom.

And of course, I've met tons and tons of people in middle and lower classes who are miserable because they're certain they just don't have enough.

And along the way, a tiny few truly happy types scattered among each socio-economic class.

Not surprisingly, when I travel, the people I meet abroad seem to be almost exactly opposite in ratio. The poor are mostly pretty happy, and so are the middle and upper classes. It's a pretty uniquely American phenomenon that the huge majority of folks feel pride and happiness only to the extent they believe others will be impressed with them. Mostly the only thing that really pisses people around the world off in great numbers is when this culture gets forced upon them.

It's a strange culture.

Unfortunately, it's still growing.

Very good post.

 

[Maelstrom]

The mega rich tycoon types can't just kick back and take it easy. I don't know anyone with a B in their net worth but I do know multiple people with hundreds of Millions. They like to innovate, build, create. It's in their nature.

i'm glad there are people like that. people inventing stuff, making our lives better.. better surgeries, better tech, etc.

I guess I'm just a really lazy person. I have zero desire for any of that

I don't know that it's really laziness. Some people are willing to work quite hard, but also really desire the structure of a 9-5 or even a small practice they own but that has a fairly defined set of rules/responsibilities and a fairly defined set of rewards.

Others are always wanting to make things and would be miserable sipping scotch on a beach if they were forced to (longer than a short vacation). Some of those types of people are so driven it becomes an obsession, as some have noted, those traits often go hand in hand.

Sometimes people can cross over, but the super billionaires like Zuch, many times they are the ones that never really had a steady job (if any) and always were willing to risk it all for their ideas. That isn't something everyone is able or willing to do, not everyone has that capacity for risk and many times the reward is commesurate with the amount of risk.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Had a discussion this weekend with several friends where we were discussing how such a high percentage of the most successful people that we knew as far as business or financial gain were concerned had some deeply flawed aspects of the rest of their lives.

Seems like so many successful people in business either have failed home lives, are workaholics who have no balance with the rest of their life, have substance abuse problems, are basspoles who have stepped on so many people to get to the top... or are flawed in many other ways I don't have the inclination to mention right now.

Now i'm sure there are plenty of examples of successful people who do achieve an excellent balance in life... but why does it seem that is the minority of the people?

In the industries you guys are associated in do you experience this as well? Or is this something I only see in my particular industry... and see with famous people like athletes, politicians, entertainment industry, etc.

I'd say I've run into it about 60/40 split, with 60 being the jerks.

At my highest money making job, I was miserable and alone. I realized that while other jobs didn't make me rich, I was much happier doing them. More free time. Spent more time with my family. I guess it really just depends on what drives you.