Dr. No
Footballguy
Office space
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Am I on the verge of a mid-life crisis.. how do you deal? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Dr. No
- Start date
Atomic Punk
Footballguy
Someone mentioned wikkid earlier, so I thought I would share one of the last exchanges we had that seems to fit the convo …
wikkid: “I have no idea why the human race don’t get this, but the entire point of life is self-reform, getting better. At about 15 or so, we take what life has given in way of strengths, weaknesses, life-luck (status, plus values) and neurological patterns grooved on us by our upbringing, and we make a go of it. If one understands such as the gift and challenge of life, and finds the way to be thrilled by that opportunity, they will never be bored, depressed or overwhelmed.
Let the opinion of others determine how you feel about yourself and you are a slave and always will be. Get better - simple... not easy, but simple. Get better at anything, everything. Start now.”
AP: “It all sounds so simple. I finally learned this about a decade ago (probably after reading one of your posts). The challenge I think for most is sustaining the application of this knowledge every day ... or even every few days. Looking outward, how does one express this lesson to those that have not learned this without sounding preachy?”
wikkid: “Its not hard. Be life-size … don’t try to be bigger than the world, don’t let the world be bigger than you. Be humble. Be fearless. Let others wish of being the best, crash on the rocks of their hopes and dreams. Better … just better … always better (setbacks are lessons), is good enough for me. There never was, isn't, won’t ever be someone who gets to be you this day but you. Gosh almighty, that's a gift. If a gift that big don’t make you feel generous or give. Give and increase your capacity for giving by getting better. You've nothing to prove and everything to provide.
Don’t know what you're doing next? Get better at something. Anything. Give that to yourself. Live, love, laugh, leave it better than you found it. Happiness begins where selfishness ends. Well........................GO!”
AP: “Thanks , there is lot to unpack here”. I’m still trying to wrap my head around how to pay this forward”.
wikkid: “You asked for it … getting better techniques:
- The most resilient lesson I ever received was from a teacher (who also happened to hustle pool outside of school) of whom I asked the meaning of a word. "look it up, but look it up the right way". "what's that?". "look up your word, then read that whole page of the dictionary. You'll have not only completed your task, but made your world bigger by doing so".
- Butler for a Day. Give yourself the present of picking a day and acting like a butler does in the movies. Completely remove your ego, your temper, from all your tasks. Make sure everyone you deal with feels served without noticing nor wondering why. Butlers take enormous pride in being utterly gracious, competent and anticipatory. Your world, your personal capacity will immediately quintuple from a Butler Day.
- After you've put on your jammys and brushed your teeth, moisturized or whatever, look at yourself in the mirror, take a deep breath, ask yourself what you’ve done today … what was right … what was wrong … questions raised, problems solved, problems you caused. Thank life for the chance … resolve to do better tomorrow.
Yes, the give is the real get in life but one of the reasons behind that is that the tasks themselves become rewarding, restorative. So, it's natural human economics to help where one can be the most helpful. An engineer should not be ladling soup, even if there's a lot of hunger. Start your own whatever, if you got sumn burnin' in your belly, stickin' in your craw. Go - be fruitful and multiply. G’night.
Still unbelievable how much I miss this man that I never met … so much wisdom and always willing to share. Hope this helps in some way.
wikkid: “I have no idea why the human race don’t get this, but the entire point of life is self-reform, getting better. At about 15 or so, we take what life has given in way of strengths, weaknesses, life-luck (status, plus values) and neurological patterns grooved on us by our upbringing, and we make a go of it. If one understands such as the gift and challenge of life, and finds the way to be thrilled by that opportunity, they will never be bored, depressed or overwhelmed.
Let the opinion of others determine how you feel about yourself and you are a slave and always will be. Get better - simple... not easy, but simple. Get better at anything, everything. Start now.”
AP: “It all sounds so simple. I finally learned this about a decade ago (probably after reading one of your posts). The challenge I think for most is sustaining the application of this knowledge every day ... or even every few days. Looking outward, how does one express this lesson to those that have not learned this without sounding preachy?”
wikkid: “Its not hard. Be life-size … don’t try to be bigger than the world, don’t let the world be bigger than you. Be humble. Be fearless. Let others wish of being the best, crash on the rocks of their hopes and dreams. Better … just better … always better (setbacks are lessons), is good enough for me. There never was, isn't, won’t ever be someone who gets to be you this day but you. Gosh almighty, that's a gift. If a gift that big don’t make you feel generous or give. Give and increase your capacity for giving by getting better. You've nothing to prove and everything to provide.
Don’t know what you're doing next? Get better at something. Anything. Give that to yourself. Live, love, laugh, leave it better than you found it. Happiness begins where selfishness ends. Well........................GO!”
AP: “Thanks , there is lot to unpack here”. I’m still trying to wrap my head around how to pay this forward”.
wikkid: “You asked for it … getting better techniques:
- The most resilient lesson I ever received was from a teacher (who also happened to hustle pool outside of school) of whom I asked the meaning of a word. "look it up, but look it up the right way". "what's that?". "look up your word, then read that whole page of the dictionary. You'll have not only completed your task, but made your world bigger by doing so".
- Butler for a Day. Give yourself the present of picking a day and acting like a butler does in the movies. Completely remove your ego, your temper, from all your tasks. Make sure everyone you deal with feels served without noticing nor wondering why. Butlers take enormous pride in being utterly gracious, competent and anticipatory. Your world, your personal capacity will immediately quintuple from a Butler Day.
- After you've put on your jammys and brushed your teeth, moisturized or whatever, look at yourself in the mirror, take a deep breath, ask yourself what you’ve done today … what was right … what was wrong … questions raised, problems solved, problems you caused. Thank life for the chance … resolve to do better tomorrow.
Yes, the give is the real get in life but one of the reasons behind that is that the tasks themselves become rewarding, restorative. So, it's natural human economics to help where one can be the most helpful. An engineer should not be ladling soup, even if there's a lot of hunger. Start your own whatever, if you got sumn burnin' in your belly, stickin' in your craw. Go - be fruitful and multiply. G’night.
Still unbelievable how much I miss this man that I never met … so much wisdom and always willing to share. Hope this helps in some way.
rockaction
Footballguy
To answer the original question,
I don't work, I just speed
I'm a lazy sod/I'm a lazy sod
I'm so lazy
I don't work, I just speed
I'm a lazy sod/I'm a lazy sod
I'm so lazy
ChiefD
Footballguy
This is an outstanding post. I really, really needed this right now. Thank You!
Atomic Punk
Footballguy
Any time. I think I read it at least once every week or so. He was so right … every day really is a gift and we get to actually choose what to do with it …
Love it.
bigbottom
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Wow.
Goldminer1
Footballguy
There is some fantastic advice in this thread. I know you mentioned the relationships in your life, but I would offer this nugget - get more comfortable with yourself.
I grew up in my family home, my parents divorced when I was a Senior in High School, but I was focused on the fun of that year, and having college on the horizon, to be too emotionally wrecked by the split. Then I went to college and lived with my best friends from HS. During college, I met my future ex-wife and we lived together right after finishing school. Then we got married, stayed together for 10 years, and unfortunately split, but still have a friendly relationship that I really value, even if it is different than what it used to be.
But, the key for me, was after getting divorced, was the realization that I had literally never lived alone, or spent any significant amount of time, by myself. I remember putting up a shower curtain, at more than 30 years old, and coming to the realization that I had actually never done that before. Which was both sort of pathetic, but also weirdly exciting. What else, haven't I done, that will be more exciting and meaningful, than a shower curtain? Lots of stuff!
That was an eye opening experience. And an extremely positive one for my maturity, and mental health. Being able to sit alone in a quiet house and not feel lonely, scared or anxious, is something I had never really been forced to do before. The lessons that I learned about myself, from my new life, have been a huge boost to my personal growth. You are forced to think through what you like and don't like about your life, without distractions. Time to think, evaluate your own behaviors, what to keep, what to get rid of. Doing that, has made all of my personal relationships better and more meaningful, because I know myself, so much better than I ever did before.
I do things alone all the time now, and have a great time. I eat in restaurants, go to movies and even took a trip through Europe by myself. All of which were great, and continue to be.
My hobby is photography, which I was into even before my "alone time" began. If you've never gotten into it, it's a fantastic "clear your mind" activity. I do street photography, so I get out and walk, I put headphones in and listen to my favorite tunes or a podcast and my brain is just focused on the next photo. The other thing I really love about photography, is that, it's hard.
Reading this thread, I feel like for a lot of men, that at least have some level of financial well-being, and an established life, we don't really ever encounter things that are too difficult for us on a day-to-day basis. Photography, when you really get into it, and want to perfect your craft, is incredibly challenging. Which is why I find it so rewarding, when I finally take a shot that I like. From other posters in the thread, stuff like rock climbing or running also provide us with that "difficulty" that we actually do crave, even if we still enjoy watching football on the couch for 7 hours on Sunday.
I totally agree with many of the posters about going deeper into the relationships you already have, but don't overlook the relationship that you have with yourself.
Give it time to grow and mature. It helps.
I grew up in my family home, my parents divorced when I was a Senior in High School, but I was focused on the fun of that year, and having college on the horizon, to be too emotionally wrecked by the split. Then I went to college and lived with my best friends from HS. During college, I met my future ex-wife and we lived together right after finishing school. Then we got married, stayed together for 10 years, and unfortunately split, but still have a friendly relationship that I really value, even if it is different than what it used to be.
But, the key for me, was after getting divorced, was the realization that I had literally never lived alone, or spent any significant amount of time, by myself. I remember putting up a shower curtain, at more than 30 years old, and coming to the realization that I had actually never done that before. Which was both sort of pathetic, but also weirdly exciting. What else, haven't I done, that will be more exciting and meaningful, than a shower curtain? Lots of stuff!
That was an eye opening experience. And an extremely positive one for my maturity, and mental health. Being able to sit alone in a quiet house and not feel lonely, scared or anxious, is something I had never really been forced to do before. The lessons that I learned about myself, from my new life, have been a huge boost to my personal growth. You are forced to think through what you like and don't like about your life, without distractions. Time to think, evaluate your own behaviors, what to keep, what to get rid of. Doing that, has made all of my personal relationships better and more meaningful, because I know myself, so much better than I ever did before.
I do things alone all the time now, and have a great time. I eat in restaurants, go to movies and even took a trip through Europe by myself. All of which were great, and continue to be.
My hobby is photography, which I was into even before my "alone time" began. If you've never gotten into it, it's a fantastic "clear your mind" activity. I do street photography, so I get out and walk, I put headphones in and listen to my favorite tunes or a podcast and my brain is just focused on the next photo. The other thing I really love about photography, is that, it's hard.
Reading this thread, I feel like for a lot of men, that at least have some level of financial well-being, and an established life, we don't really ever encounter things that are too difficult for us on a day-to-day basis. Photography, when you really get into it, and want to perfect your craft, is incredibly challenging. Which is why I find it so rewarding, when I finally take a shot that I like. From other posters in the thread, stuff like rock climbing or running also provide us with that "difficulty" that we actually do crave, even if we still enjoy watching football on the couch for 7 hours on Sunday.
I totally agree with many of the posters about going deeper into the relationships you already have, but don't overlook the relationship that you have with yourself.
Give it time to grow and mature. It helps.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
This is a fantastic point, and well-stated at that.
Jutz
Footballguy
I was reading this thread yesterday and I thought I would give you some alternative advice. Most of the replies contain excellent advice about gratitude, hobbies, and finding friends to make you happy. But if you are really down, it may not be realistic to get to those places so I thought I would give something… ehhh, maybe more attainable?
Lower your expectations. It’s a saying my dad used to use all the time. He would use it in a joking way, but there is a lot of wisdom in the statement. There is apparently a Happiness equation that I just found as I was searching the keywords ‘Happiness Expectations’ that goes something like: Happiness = Reality – Expectations. If you can be OK with the simple things in life: health, food, shelter then everything else is like a bonus.
Another saying I always have to remind myself of ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’. I don’t know if you do compare your life to others, but if you do, this saying can be helpful. A lot of times when people do compare themselves to others it gives them high expectations of what their life should be like and leads to a negative result with the happiness equation. I definitely feel social media plays a big role in causing people to compare themselves to others.
In a similar vein I wanted to mention a Facebook reel I saw recently that made me laugh really hard, but I feel like it is great advice. And since I saw it on Facebook I am also giving away that I am around the same age as you! The Facebook reel said:
I see this as saying that, what you are going through is part of life. It exists. It is reality. If this interests you, I would recommend you read through the remaining noble truths in the article. And if you think Buddhism conflicts with your religion, I would request that you keep an open mind. You can be Christian and go to church every Sunday as you do and still incorporate the philosophies of Buddhism in order to attempt to reach some kind of happiness. I see it as more of a philosophy rather than a religion.
Lower your expectations. It’s a saying my dad used to use all the time. He would use it in a joking way, but there is a lot of wisdom in the statement. There is apparently a Happiness equation that I just found as I was searching the keywords ‘Happiness Expectations’ that goes something like: Happiness = Reality – Expectations. If you can be OK with the simple things in life: health, food, shelter then everything else is like a bonus.
Another saying I always have to remind myself of ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’. I don’t know if you do compare your life to others, but if you do, this saying can be helpful. A lot of times when people do compare themselves to others it gives them high expectations of what their life should be like and leads to a negative result with the happiness equation. I definitely feel social media plays a big role in causing people to compare themselves to others.
In a similar vein I wanted to mention a Facebook reel I saw recently that made me laugh really hard, but I feel like it is great advice. And since I saw it on Facebook I am also giving away that I am around the same age as you! The Facebook reel said:
So yeah, we all have bad days, and you can’t always make them better. And sometimes you just have to give up, move on, and prepare for the next day. And lastly I’ll leave you with one of the 4 noble truths of Buddhism – dukka. It has to do with the concept that ‘Life is suffering’. The following is copied from an article Life and Teachings of the Buddah:
I see this as saying that, what you are going through is part of life. It exists. It is reality. If this interests you, I would recommend you read through the remaining noble truths in the article. And if you think Buddhism conflicts with your religion, I would request that you keep an open mind. You can be Christian and go to church every Sunday as you do and still incorporate the philosophies of Buddhism in order to attempt to reach some kind of happiness. I see it as more of a philosophy rather than a religion.
AAABatteries
Footballguy
jamny
Footballguy
Excellent post!
Although I would also consider looking into Taoism if this is someone's path. I found Buddhism to have too much emphasis on suffering and a bit too rigid and structured for my liking. Taoism changed my life and has led me to an acceptance of the world around me and an understanding of the nature of things. Or at least attempting to understand.
Sorry for the hijack.
grateful zed
Footballguy
my advice.
take up disc golf.
take up disc golf.
jamny
Footballguy
I'm looking forward to getting back out there. Played about a dozen times last year. I think I'm ready for a driver!
Terminalxylem
Footballguy
Agreed. Made me think of this RSA Animate.
bigbottom
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Thanks for linking this. It also sort of parallels some of the elements in my “purpose” post upthread, including the musical instrument example.
GoBirds
Footballguy
I totally understand where you are coming from, especially on the work end. I’ve made things interesting getting more involved coaching kids. Interested to see other recs too.
Terminalxylem
Footballguy
I sent that video to the guy responsible for negotiating our contracts, trying to point out after one’s basic needs are met, there is an income level where extra money isn’t necessarily the answer to job satisfaction.
He replied he had two kids in private school, and was more interested in salary than cartoons.
We got a decent raise the following year, and I cut my hours. So in the end, I guess it allowed us both to afford what we wanted.
But the work keeps getting worse, and I often wish somebody important without school aged children, a big mortgage, etc., would try to make the job better.
bigbottom
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Have you considered making a change? As I mentioned upthread, I made a pretty significant career change - same vocation, but a radically different job. It was infinitely more challenging than my job at the time. I’ve regularly joked that 90% of what I did my first year at the new job I was doing for the very first time. But despite it being a much more difficult job, I was learning a ton, really for the first time in years. Although I’ve received pay increases since, at the time I made the move, I took a decent pay cut. But the challenge, and the purpose and personal investment that has come along with it, have made all the difference to me.
Terminalxylem
Footballguy
I’ve considered it (even interviewed for a different position a few years ago), but have stayed the course for a few reasons:
1. Being part time makes the badness bearable, and affords me a lot of time to pursue different interests outside of work.
2. There still are redeeming aspects of the job, not the least of which are my coworkers, including my wife.
3. I’ll probably retire within 5 years, at which point I believe I can maximize the good stuff I currently do through volunteer work.
Maybe I’m letting inertia get the best of me, but it’s nice to read about other‘s experiences, to remind me there are alternative approaches.
fruity pebbles
Footballguy
It’s amazing how many people in nursing and healthcare in general say the exact same thing. I did basically the same thing as you. Cut my hours back and plan on retiring, atleast from healthcare, in 6-8 years. But that’s still a long time to do something that’s generally miserable. I used to love being a nurse too but it’s gotten to the point of being unbearable. Push more and more, more and more money needs to be made. We’ve lost so much staff, 50% travelers in the operating room now. Five years ago it was zero. Surgeons are starting to give their notice now. Several are leaving healthcare. Imagine going to school for 14+ years and saying no, I can’t do this. Healthcare in this country is going to hit a reckoning soon.
Dickies
Footballguy
This is how I feel except mountain biking is my primary outlet. There is a huge sense of reward and accomplishment climbing a bike to the top of a hill/mountain and as you bask in that adrenaline you are surrounded by nature, stunning vistas, and serenity.
Dr. No
Footballguy
My sister is an anesthesiologist... she has also said that the rate of people leaving health care is alarming.. even at the highest levels like surgery and what not. And it's especially bad at the lower level jobs.. She said that has led to pay going up... but that work conditions and hours and everything are declining. Now, this sounds super elitist.. but in her spot you could throw her an extra 50k for the crappier work conditions... but honestly she'd happily decline it for just better conditions.. because she doesn't even spend what she makes as it is... She said it's a scary proposition moving forward here in another 5-10 years.
Sabertooth
Footballguy
I just crossed Skiing in Colorado off my bucket list. I had to keep stopping on my first run at Keystone. The views are just amazing. listening to Breakout from Foo Fighter while gliding down a mountain in Colorado is about as awesome as it sounds.
Sabertooth
Footballguy
Not as scary as it is for my kids who are finishing up high school. It’s going to be an absolute nightmare out there. America is so much worse off than it was 30 years ago. Give it another 20 and today will look like the roaring 20s.
Didn’t read this thread until now but I miss this. Might be kids growing up as well as many are in college/high school now, but damn I miss poker nights. Used to be almost every weekend for years and now never. Some people have moved, gotten divorced and COVID. I really enjoyed playing and just hanging out shooting the ****. It’s weird with guys because I moved well away from where I grew up so childhood friends aren’t around and when my boys changed from baseball to lacrosse that also changed friend groups.
We’ve still got close friends but not quite as much hanging out as before so I feel the same MLC/what do you do as my boys are more and more independent. Two oldest have cars so they go where they need and obviously hang out with friends/girlfriend a lot. Next fall, 2 of the 3 will be in college/out of college working or in graduate school so it’s going to feel more empty. At least my youngest is into similar stuff, watching sports, cooking, likes GOTs/cool shows but he’ll have his license.
Definitely need to get work more contained to 8-5 and start working out again. I think that will help as well. Other wise Man Park looks fun 😂
Dr. No
Footballguy
skiing is therpeutic... i'll be out there in 3 weeks and that's going to improve my mood single handedly
Sabertooth
Footballguy
It was amazing. I’ve never done anything remotely close to that up in the U.P.
Dr. No
Footballguy
Yeah.. you might be right there... feels like peak society was the 90s into the early 00s... other than better tech and better porn there's almost nothing else i think is much better...
Dickies
Footballguy
I know I talked about it, and others have mentioned it as well, but consider giving mountain biking a shot. It offers a lot of the same qualities as skiing (out in nature, riding downhill, etc) but can be done almost anywhere and in a lot of places can also be done year round.
Once Covid started I was approaching 40 and I guess you could say I had a mid-life crisis where I realized I was falling out of shape and putting myself at greater risk of serious harm from Covid so I took up cycling and eventually took up mountain biking. The community aspect of it is great. I've met people on the trails and exchanged numbers and find myself on group rides with other like-minded folks. I usually ride solo because I enjoy the solitude, but it's also fun to get out in nature with friends. I've also managed to go on a few mountain biking trips with friends that have given me some really memorable experiences and taken me to places I otherwise wouldn't have gone.
Terminalxylem
Footballguy
Mountain biking is great, and it’s a lot more accessible for most people. Better exercise than skiing at resorts, too.
The only downside IMO is injury potential. Much greater consequences falling off a bike than into snow. I had to climb one-armed for a multi activity trip, after partially dislocating my shoulder post-endo. Luckily I escaped my foray into downhill at Whistler unscathed, but wore the body armor for a reason.
Good luck at the Sea Otter btw - an ex of mine used to race every year, even placed a few years before we met. Only woman I ever dated who truly understood the value of suffering, aka Fun types 2 & 3
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Dickies
Footballguy
You're not wrong, but I can thankfully say that after 2,500 miles of mountain biking the last couple years I've managed to escape with no worse than a couple bruised ribs, a bruised thigh, and for lack of a better term "road rash" on my arms and legs. Most of my local trails that I ride 95% of the time are pretty mellow, but I will get padded up when doing gnarlier trails that push my comfort zone. There are a lot of hobbies and activities that are off limits if getting injured is a total deal breaker, and I think the mental and physical benefits of the hobby greatly outweigh the risks.
Thanks re: Sea Otter. I don't race to win or place, but to challenge myself in the same way someone would run a 5k or 10k just to complete it. Mountain biking is definitely a type 2 fun, but racing blurs the lines between 2 & 3. My first time racing was a total sufferfest, but I was still glad I did it and managed to limp across the finish line. The second time, knowing what I was in for, I trained a lot and it was a completely different experience. It was still a sufferfest, but it was a lot of fun passing people that left me in the dust the previous year, and there was a certain euphoria knowing that I was in such better shape and kicking some ***. Better conditioning also manages to shift everyday riding more towards type 1 fun.
General Malaise
Poop Lord
Better tech is WAY better. I can listen to any song I want for $9.99 a month (except for you, Neil Young). I can buy a car that doesn't use gas. It can also drive itself. I can do with my tiny phone what once required a large computer and a bulky monitor and I can do it in an instant. I can order a safe ride home to avoid driving drunk with said phone. I don't need a travel agent. I don't have to throw away newspapers. I can put all my photographs on a free internet host and take great pictures with that same tiny phone. I can watch just about any movie I want to for cheap; I don't even half to leave my house. I can watch any sports game I want; I can record them, pause them. Technology advancement has simplified and economized our daily lives significantly.
The 90s and the early 00s don't hold a candle to how great we have it today. Our biggest problem today is what, burn-out of people making a TON of money? We have incredibly low unemployment today. Do you remember how hard it was to get a good job out of college in 1995? It took my 9 months from graduation to land a job paying $30K and I thought I had hit the lottery. College grads today would scoff at that. Employers are desperate to ink grads for good money in fields like IT, accounting, finance, programming, you name it. Many of them will be able to work from home. What???
I have two kids in college. I'm flabbergasted at how much further along they and their friends are with regards to emotional maturity and sound decision making than I was at their age and with my peers. They will figure out how to advance the ball forward in life in all regards - healthcare, education, politics, tech. I have no doubt - none - that this current generation of college age kids are far better prepared to deal with their futures than 90s kids were with theirs.
Healthcare needs reform, IMO. A topic for another day. But if you worry about today's generation filling the jobs needed to keep the grease in the wheels of healthcare moving remember this is a global world we live in. There will be qualified people from around the globe lined up to fill vacant positions in healthcare here. Money may not motivate everybody in the industry currently nor attract new kids born and raised here, but I ******** guarantee you there are folks from other countries who would kill to fill these jobs for the current pay.
We'll be fine. The kids are alright. It's a way better time to be alive than 20-30 years ago in my humble opinion.
Ron Swanson
Footballguy
Yes. All of this. Thank you for articulating it and taking the time to type it out.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
I strongly agree with you on the technology angle. Each of us is walking around with a little device in our pocket that allows us to access the entire store of human knowledge, along with pretty much every piece of music, every film, and every show ever produced, whenever we want it. We would have considered that science fiction back in the 1990s.
On the other hand, I strongly disagree that the kids are alright. I can't turn around without somebody going on and on about some sort of mental health crisis affecting young people. Speaking very broadly, 20-somethings as a group do not show the same kind of grit that people of that same age did earlier in my career. They don't bounce back from the kind of normal bumps and bruises that come with adult life. Everybody has their pet theory for why that's the case, but I don't think anybody really disputes that it's the case. People in general were more mature in 1990s than they are today. (I know that all of us are innately wired to look around and mutter "kids these days" in exasperation, and I'm trying to account for that when I make these sorts of judgements. For example, I don't get interested in how young people dress, what kind of music they listen to, or stuff like that. I know I'm behind the times culturally, and that's fine. But I'm in a good position to make relative judgements about the mental well-being of young adults today vs. 20 years ago.)
New Binky the Doormat
Footballguy
isn't it really hard on your shoulder?
General Malaise
Poop Lord
Technique >>> power. Footwork is key, imo. But I'm only 2+ years in and when I play a guy like Urbanhack, he beats my be a million strokes, so.....
Dickies
Footballguy
Not if you have good technique. It's been a while since I've played regularly, but most of the power is coming from the footwork and rotation of the hips. When I first started getting into it and had bad technique I think I had more issues with my elbow than my shoulder..... but I was also regularly playing tennis at this time in my life so the two activities may have compounded the problem.
-OZ-
Footballguy
This is why I play against my 14 and 12 year old sons. At least for now their old man usually beats them. And wins.
-OZ-
Footballguy
Yep. My biggest gripe is their constant need to label themselves to “fit in”. So now, my 14yo who just isn’t interested in dating (yet) has labeled himself asexual and believes he’ll never be interested. 🤦🏾♂️
Dude, I didn’t date until my senior year and didn’t get Sorta serious until well into college. He listens but would rather be labeled than just be himself. He’s definitely not alone in that.
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